Transcendence

~ Chapter 6: These thoughts of mine ~

Saturday, 5^th July 1997. Early Morning.

The cottage was peacefully silent as the Potions Master moved about the house doing menial chores and preparing breakfast. Two snowy owls swooped about, delighting at the sense of freedom before swerving off to the forest to perch and rest. Sunlight filtered through the cottage windows; the rays shifted upon Harry's light gray blanket and gradually warming it but still the raven-haired youth slept. Some benevolent force had actually allowed him to rest without his usual affliction of bad dreams. Harry wasn't dreaming at all in fact; his mind was enveloped in a restful darkness until...

"Wake up you lazy boy!" cried a voice and Harry immediately sat up on his bed. A blush quickly crept over his cheeks. He was still in a befuddled state and wondered why his godfather was not standing by the door, arms crossed and tapping his foot impatiently. He also wondered why the door was still closed. A 'feeling' of mirth that was not his own roused him to full consciousness, enough so to form several oaths in his mind.

"Ease up lover," Draco said merrily, making Harry shiver and not only out of annoyance.

"You sound positively cheerful," Harry observed as he stretched then reached toward the table for his glasses and put them on. He scanned the floor lazily for the shirt he had discarded sometime during the night; it had grown a bit too warm to sleep fully clothed several hours ago. He took a moment to glance at the clock. It was twenty minutes past eight. He stood and picked up his shirt before throwing it into the laundry basket by the door.

"You can't expect me to be maudlin and mopey every day," Draco pointed out reasonably. "The reason why I am so happy is because the she-dragon is going out to 'replenish some supplies'." Harry raised an eyebrow at that. After the countless number of 'chats' they'd had since their holidays began, he had learned a few things about what makes a Malfoy. Draco had also told him a little about his parents. Harry still harbored some doubt when Draco tried to reassure him that his bratty behavior was just a pretense. As a result, Harry had asked what the real Draco Malfoy was like and the Slytherin admitted that he himself was unable to find the answer. Not yet anyway. Redirecting his thoughts to the current subject, Harry understood why Draco sounded so skeptical about his mother going off without meeting certain people.

Harry did not exchange his thoughts with Draco for a while and the Slytherin seemed to understand his needing several moments to think privately. After a couple of experiments over the course of the past few nights, it was possible for both of them to have some peaceful and private moments. Maybe Narcissa's off to find some confirmation about Snape's loyalties... He was still thinking about that as he went to the bathroom to wash up and make himself presentable before turning up for breakfast. He was changing into a newer set of clothing when Draco's thought filled his mind.

"Have you told Snape of this new development of ours?" Draco asked curiously and Harry gave a soundless chuckle as he replied.

"Can you be more specific Drake? Are you referring to the strange new way of communication or to the relationship blossoming between the two of us?"

"My, my..." the mirror murmured as it saw Harry's green eyes sparkling with mischief. "You're certainly not in a brooding mood today." Harry grinned widely at the mirror.

"The first one of course! But I don't really mind if it somehow slips that you are my dream lover now," Draco responded seriously.

Harry quirked up an eyebrow. "Yours?"

"Yes. Mine. Dare you refuse me that Green-Eyes?" If Harry thought the Slytherin was joking, it was quickly dashed by the fierce possessiveness that Draco let him feel. It made him feel pleasantly warm and he suppressed the urge to howl his triumph.

"I seriously can't believe that you've managed to shake my control over my emotions." He gave a rather sullen thought. "I'm supposed to be dark, expressionless, mysterious and unresponsive..."

"That's a mound of horse-crap if you ask me," Draco replied in good cheer and Harry was tempted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming. "Good Lord!" the Slytherin exclaimed and Harry felt a moment of disorientation as his lover took the opportunity to study the kitchen through his eyes. Harry thought that Draco's exclamation was directed at the healthy spread of food on the table until he sent him another thought. "He's wearing full robes?!" Draco was incredulous as they both watched Snape calmly reading the Daily Prophet that had probably been sent by Dumbledore. The Potions Master was wearing his customary black robes and Harry couldn't stop himself from teasing his godfather.

"Sev, are you expecting company?" Harry asked teasingly. The Potions Master's dark eyes lifted to meet Harry's in an unwavering gaze. Harry snorted and Snape began to scowl. Harry's snort quickly became a soundless laugh and he wrapped his arms around his abdomen as he grew incapacitated with mirth. Snape looked on in disgust and when Harry showed no sign of stopping, the Potions Master stared helplessly at him.

"Merlin!" Harry gasped as he struggled to control his laughter. "Sev! Remus won't arrive until this evening!" He started laughing again.

"Do you think I should be wearing something less formal?" Snape asked dangerously.

"Merlin help me! Why are you even thinking of wearing black in summer? This place of yours may have cooling charms but you know that even those get fried during extreme heat waves!" Harry strode forward and pulled the newspaper out of his godfather's fingers. He casually threw it onto the table and heartily pulled Snape out of his seat, clearly intending to choose a more comfortable outfit for his godfather. Snape was quite bewildered by the youth's enthusiasm considering that the boy had woken up from bed just minutes ago.

"You've finished with the potion right?" Harry asked but otherwise ignored his godfather as he opened Snape's wardrobe and searched for something suitable.

"Yes," Snape answered in a rather monotonous voice as he watched the raven-haired youth deftly pulling out three choices of shirts.

"Well, I think this dark blue one is good," Harry said as he felt the material. "White's cool but it looks funny on you." Harry pursed his lips thoughtfully as he examined a knee-length dark green shirt.

**********

Snape lifted an eyebrow at his godson's comment about white being the wrong color for him. Quite habitually, he observed the green-eyed Gryffindor. The sudden flash in Harry's eyes caught his attention and Snape was surprised to see that Harry was trying to hold back his laughter.

His behavior lately has been totally unnatural, Snape thought distractedly. He is different but that does not give him the excuse to laugh at every opportunity... without any explanation whatsoever.

"The emerald shirt's a bit too heavy. Wear the blue and you shouldn't feel that out of place." Harry decided in a preoccupied manner.

Snape continued to observe and his suspicions grew when he saw the familiar glint in the boy's eyes for the countless time that week. I have the feeling that there is something going on directly under my nose, Snape mused absently and was startled out of his thoughts by Harry's audible chuckle. His godson was staring at him, eyes gleaming merrily but there was a slight sheepishness in the young wizard's grin.

"Harry..." Snape started in a menacing tone.

"Caught me didn't you?" Harry asked mildly. "Well, I guess that's to be expected. You do have those additional skills as a spy."

"Indeed I have," Snape agreed. "Out with it boy," he commanded tersely.

"Well..." Harry started nervously. "It's the bracelet..." Snape continued to approach his godson. "We've been talking to each other," Harry said finally in a resigned manner.

Snape arched an eyebrow at his godson's statement. Talking? I see. It looks like I've been the object of gossip for two of my most infuriating students. He tucked a lock of his silky hair absently behind his ear.

"I wouldn't call it gossip!" Harry's eyes were wide, clearly offended when he saw the expression on Snape's face. Again, the Potions Master was impressed by the youth's ability to discern his thoughts. Like a certain werewolf.

Snape snorted derisively. "I should have suspected that something was out of line since I have slept rather peacefully these past few nights. You've been sharing company," he said lightly. "Is he all right?"

"Yes, Draco's fine - " He cut off Harry's sentence abruptly.

"Have you two bonded?" he asked and smirked when Harry turned red in the face.

"Uh... not quite..." Snape heard his godson mumble.

"Good." He nodded his approval and sighed when Harry turned defensive. "You should wait until the two of you are together physically. It makes the bond stronger," he explained in a rather bored tone.

Harry blushed again and quickly walked out of his godfather's bedroom. He was careful to avoid the Potions Master's knowing eyes. Snape chuckled nastily at Harry's show of discomfort but it eventually died away and he concentrated on removing his current vestments with the sole exception of his trousers. Since his godson had kindly pointed out that his regular consumer would not be arriving until the late afternoon, he chose to wear a light gray cotton shirt in the meantime.

He walked unhurriedly back to the kitchen and was secretly pleased to note that Harry had almost finished half of the pancakes he had painstakingly prepared. "Tell me Harry," Snape said lightly as he sat down and helped himself to a bit of breakfast. "Does Draco know how greedy you are?" As a result, Harry muttered something vulgar. Snape quickly grabbed the Daily Prophet and solidly smacked the back of his godson's head with it.

"Owww!" Harry gave a sharp yelp. His hand instantly dropping the fork with a piece of honey-coated pancake onto the floor and moved upwards to rub at the tender spot.

"You!" Snape burst out in irritation and sighed. He took his wand out and taking a deep breath, he summoned Harry's fork in a soft tone and set it back on the table. "Scourgify." He waved his wand at the small mess and it cleared off in an instant.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled and Snape rolled his eyes upwards. "Draco was just telling me almost the exact same thing," the raven-haired youth answered and continued eating his breakfast.

Snape felt his eyes widening at the unspoken implication that Draco could somehow see through Harry's eyes. Snape felt his lips curling into a faint smile. "So," he purred, "Draco was the one who pointed out that I don't look good in white or pale colors?"

His godson looked at him with a frown before asking in a curious voice, "How did you know that?"

"Because unlike Draco, you don't have any fashion sense. Sometimes, I think that you are almost color-blind," he answered with a nasty smirk. His godson made a small offended sound and resumed eating his breakfast. Snape studied Harry's face absently then hid a smile when Harry's face went blank and the emerald eyes started to lose their focus. Slowly, Harry's face turned gentle and a small smile hovered on his lips. Cloying... Snape shuddered. Just as suddenly, his godson was back to his normal self.

"What is Draco doing now?" Snape asked as he refilled his mug with hot chocolate.

"Said he was sneaking off to the library to do a bit of homework," Harry replied. His godson then looked grimly at him. "Narcissa is probably going off to confirm some news," Harry said quietly. Snape stared at his godson calmly and carried on eating. The two wizards remained mute until the silence became too unbearable for Snape.

"I have been wondering," he began and Harry sat very still when he recognized the Potions Master's teasing tone. "If you are to invite your... friends... over, how much do you think I need to cook?"

"Be nice," Harry muttered. "We're still growing, you know." Snape laughed, relieved that he was able to distract himself from the worrisome news. They spent the rest of their meal in comfortable silence and then it was time for the raven-haired youth to clean up. "What are you going to do now?" Harry asked as he collected the plates and stacked them up in the sink.

"I am going to deal with all those 'journals' you lot had prepared for the pre-NEWT project. And you'd better deal with the rest of your homework before we entertain ourselves with Defence practice this afternoon," Snape answered, giving a wicked smile to his groaning godson.

**********

Twenty-three minutes to two in the afternoon.

Harry rose from his seat and stretched his limbs slowly. Surprisingly, he had finished his Herbology essay much quicker than he had expected to. He fished out the study plan Hermione had worked out for him and scribbled a 'COMPLETED' in the designated area. He was tapping his quill absently against his chin when he was suddenly overwhelmed by an excruciating pain in his mind. His strangled cry brought his godfather to his room immediately who had roughly shoved the door open.

Snape quickly reached out to steady him and carefully made Harry sit on the edge of the bed. Harry gasped, blinking his eyes rapidly and clutched at his godfather's strong hands. As the pain slowly receded, he could hear Draco calling out for him frantically.

"Drake, calm down. I'm fine." Harry tried to reassure his lover but winced when his 'tone' was harsher than he had intended.

"Fine? You call that FINE?!" Draco predictably burst out in anger. "Voldemort is planning to get Snape and shoving all those vile images into your mind, making you feel as if you're the one who committed it and you say you are fine?" Draco nearly screamed and Harry was a little surprised by the intensity of his lover's thoughts.

Draco's tone softened. "I just called the Dark Lord by his name... Huh. Voldemort... I thought he only did that stuff in your dreams... Green-Eyes..." The thought was so filled with love it made Harry dizzy and he felt as if he had been given a bear-hug by the Slytherin.

"Draco Malfoy... I love you too," he replied, and trembled when those words formed in his mind. He finally smiled although his scar still burned. Draco was overjoyed to hear that from him and Harry basked in the feelings that washed over him, letting Draco's happiness erode Voldemort's taint on him. Harry heard Snape calling him and he looked up at his concerned godfather.

"Voldemort has been told," he said quietly, staring intently at his godfather's stern visage. He saw the minute twitch in Snape's right eye. The Potions Master still felt edgy hearing him call the Dark Lord by his name.

"And he's angry," Snape stated calmly. Harry nodded and finally released his godfather's hands to rub at his scar. The pain was intense and he grimaced as he thought of a knife, not a wand, marking him the same way.

"He has lost his second and he is furious. You were precious to him although he already knew you were not his to command any longer," Harry continued speaking as he pushed his long damp hair off his face. I need a haircut. "But the fact that you are protecting me..." He did not finish the sentence when Snape gave him a hard look.

"No," Snape said softly when Harry opened his mouth to speak. "Do not speak Harry."

Harry's lips tightened and his expression was grave. He stood and was glad that his legs were not wobbling. He went over to stand by the window. He maintained his silence and looked out. Emerald eyes swept across the grove of oak trees surrounding and protecting his godfather's home. He stood there, admiring the rays of sunlight that poked between the tree branches and the way they shifted as clouds traveled across the sky.

"If Voldemort manages to get his hands on you," his voice was icy as were his eyes when he turned back to face his godfather, "I'll make him wish that he had never been Voldemort in the first place. If he so much as bruises your soul Sev, I will kill him." He was angry and he did not hide his emotions from his godfather. He felt surprise coming from two individuals: Snape and Draco.

"You do not understand what you are saying," Snape said calmly. His face was utterly expressionless and Harry saw that Snape had shut himself out. Black eyes were looking boldly back at him.

"But I think I do Sev," Harry answered in a level tone. He knew what he looked like without turning to face the mirror. His face was set in a fiercely determined expression and his eyes had taken on a dark shade of green that seemed almost black. He saw his godfather's eyes widening in surprise. "It's rather simple. I no longer feel cold at the thought of murdering Voldemort. If it means that I will have my sanity, my health, and my soul by killing him... then I will."

Harry stopped talking and merely observed. Just by looking at the Potions Master's posture, he knew that Snape was tongue-tied; so was his lover. Although Draco had been rendered speechless, his feelings however, still flowed over to Harry. Harry was relieved that Draco had acknowledged his need to fight.

"Good choice Green-Eyes. Fight for yourself. No wonder you say you were nearly sorted into Slytherin."

"Did you just praise me, Drake?" Harry asked tenderly and Draco replied with several curses amidst his declarations of love for the Gryffindor. He heard Snape give a long sigh and he finally smiled. That expression somewhat eased Snape's feelings and he followed his godfather's order to finish up his work, wash and head down to the kitchen for a quick bite before they settled in for their Defence lesson. Whatever makes the man happy I guess... Harry walked back to his desk and rearranged the textbooks that messily decorated his study area.

**********

Snape left Harry to clean up as he went to the kitchen to prepare a light lunch for both of them. Black miraculously appeared by his side and trotted happily into the kitchen after a brief moment spent curling around the Potions Master's heels. For some reason, Black loved to watch Snape working and he did not mind at all, just as long the cat didn't get in the way.

As he took out the chicken thighs from the box - magically enchanted to keep meat cold and prevent rotting - he was having second thoughts about being Harry's godfather. Maybe I should not have let him grow so fond of me... I feel like I'm a liability to him now... His throat suddenly went dry as he remembered how the pair of emerald eyes glowed with love and protectiveness. He absently began chopping some ginger and added them into a bowl that was already filled with olive oil, pepper and curry powder. It was quite a frightening sensation for the Potions Master. He had not acknowledged affection of any kind until he let down his barriers and brought Harry into his life. It scared him to hear the vows for revenge coming from his godson and fiercefully directed at Voldemort. He didn't know if he should be grateful for that.

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before pushing the disturbing thoughts away. He focused on how much spice he should add to satisfy his godson. Since Harry started helping him in the kitchen, the young wizard was inevitably exposed to various spices and the raven-haired youth had taken a liking to coriander. Snape worked in relative silence, marinating the chicken for several minutes while Black watched everything with interest. Harry in the meantime was standing before the window in his bedroom again, sharing the beautiful view with Draco and basking in the sunlight that shone directly on him. The emerald-eyed individual stood there, silently wishing that the silvery-blond Slytherin was there beside him. He held back a strong desire to go to where his lover was.

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