Separate Lives

Separate Lives

firedragon_luver

**************

You called me from the room in your hotel

All full of romance for someone that you'd met

And telling me how sorry you were, leaving so soon

And that you miss me sometimes, when you're alone in your room

Do I feel lonely too?

Dragon my love,

I'm sorry if I have to leave so soon, without even saying goodbye. I'll be back for you, promise me that you will wait for me. Please let me have this time and space for myself to resolve all that is troubling me.

I am missing so terribly.

Loving you forever,

Harry

I have brought out and kept this one and only note from you for a thousand times now. You owled me after five months the day you left and now two years after, I still feel the pain of being left behind and whenever I am alone all the memories of that day come crushing down on me. In spite of the pain, I am enraged on how little you think of me, why not let me help you solve your problems, why do it alone. What we had was never a game to me, but as I look back I can't help but ask myself, if it was but a game to you. You said you were sorry and you would come back, but after all these years you haven't fulfilled your promise.

As I look back on my bed, there lay a person who has been filling my lonely days and nights with smile and love, I know one day I will learn to love again and if I do that person would be him, but for now no one could replace you.

You have no right to ask me how I feel

You have no right to speak to me so kind

We can't go on, holding on to time

So now we're living separate lives

I was invited to an opening of a posh wizarding boutique well I am one of the major owner that's why I am coming. I rarely visit the wizarding world now, because I try to avoid our memories together. I now live in a wizarding community at muggle London, I have a business there, and quite famous I may add. Ironic isn't it before you could never associate Malfoy to the Muggle word, but now wherever I go they, the muggles recognizes me. Then out from no where I saw you, still so beautiful, you look so happy, so contented, and you have moved on so it seems. You have seen me, and you gave me a smile, the smile that once I called my own, you released the hand you were holding and sauntered up to me.

I was looking at your shoulders, never at your face, I couldn't. You were saying so many things, but I could only understand words from it, small words...fine...you...miss...love...waited. I never understood what you said, because my mind went blank, then I was staring at your cheek, which I have caressed and kissed thousand times before, along with all the memories that I have tried so hard to forget. I almost held you close to me, I almost let the tears fall from my eyes because after all this time of waiting now you are in front of me, I almost let my weakness took control but then I remembered I am not alone anymore.

I bowed my head to recompose my self, and took a look at your scar, one last look at you, then I took a step back, I turned around, walked away, away from you. And the last thing I heard is you calling my name, and again I almost run back to you straight in your arms, well almost.

Well I have learned to let you go

And if you lost your love for me, you never let it show

There was no way to compromise

So now we're living separate lives

I stayed at a hotel after that incident I can't go home not yet. I brought out the note from you and clutched it with my hand and my other hand clutching at my heart. Yes, it has bee too long now, you have moved on and I have to learn to let go even just for a little bit and I know I have moved on too. I question myself since you have done it why can't I? I remembered how you have approached me, like I am just an old acquaintance, not your lover from the past, whom you have left behind and had forgotten about, or is it just your way showing me that you still care for me. I tried so hard to steady my breathing, no I won't cry anymore not for you, I have shed so many tears for you before but it didn't brought anything back specially you, now if ever I would cry, I would cry for my self, maybe it will bring back the love that I have given you and maybe afterwards I could give it to someone else.

I walked towards the fire place, if I have to let go, then I have no reason to keep this note from you anymore, I kissed it one last time tossing it to the fire and watched as the flames quickly turned the parchment into ashes, if only the feelings I have for you and the pain could be burnt that easily many I have thrown mine.

Oh it's so difficult, love leads to isolation

So you build that wall

Yes you build that wall

And you make it stronger

Before I left for this occasion I have made sure that the barriers a Malfoy should have was built and put back to place, you have brought down my walls before, now I won't let you do it again. Seeing you today, and I being able to turn my back on you, I knew you just help me to make my walls against you much stronger, and I have to thank you for that.

You have no right to ask me how I feel

You have no right to speak to me so kind

Someday I might - I just might - find myself

Looking in you eyes

But for now, we'll go on living separate lives

Before I left the hotel I received a note from you, it didn't surprised me really on you finding me, you always have your ways that never fails to impress me. You were asking me to see you again you want us to talk and so many other things. I threw the note in the fireplace again, there's no need to meet you, to listen to your explanations because I know it won't heal any wounds. I am not ready to see you yet, to be able to look into your eyes that I used to love to be locked up with, without feeling the pain all over again.

Maybe someday when I am sure that I could compete with your gazes, and safely say that I am fine. Maybe someday when I could treat you as just an acquaintance from the past, and look at you with out any trace of pain that once found its home in my being. But for now, I cannot be that person yet even after all this time.

I will never know the reason why you didn't came back to me, I will never know what had happened to you, but for now I need to be miles away from you. I need to get away from you, because you only bring back unwanted emotions in me. We have already built our own lives now, and just like the years that had gone by let us just continue living separate lives.

-fin-