Somewhere In My Past

Also to my flat mate, sweet thank you for playing this song that inspired me.

This is songfic, "Somewhere In My Past by Devo" just borrowed for inspiration.


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Somewhere In My Past

firedragon_luver

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Harry's POV

As I step out of the new ballroom of the newly built east wing of Hogwarts Castle, I can't help but be amazed at how many wizards and witches have come to celebrate. That even in our fifth year of celebrating the fall of the Dark Lord it looks like that we are just celebrating its first anniversary. After I excused myself from a handful of people wanting to greet and talk to me, I left towards the gardens to relieve my tension.

I remember the first anniversary celebrating the fall and what the people close to me call my rebirth. Yes they say I was born the second time from the day I first opened my eyes, three months after being in a coma. They taught me how to walk, talk, and read and other things that a seventeen year old already knows and takes for granted. The only thing that I didn't get back is my memory. The medi-wizards always assured me and my loved ones that my memory loss was only but temporary, but after five years I don't think this should still be called temporary.

So here I am, relieving my tension, letting the cool air calm my nerves. Yes this day will be the day that I propose to my on and off girlfriend of two years, that is, if she attends tonight's celebration. Hoping that this proposal will give our relationship a direction.

I met you just tonight, But I keep wondrin' why

It seems I've always known you all my life

"Harry."

I automatically whirl to my side, seeing a man standing by a tree. My mind must have been too preoccupied with so many thoughts; I didn't realize I have walked so far into the gardens.

"Harry."

He calls again. He slowly steps outside from the shadow only to reveal a cloaked and hooded person. As far as I can remember I have not met this person, but his voice reminds me of someone so familiar.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"Will you remember if I tell you my name?" An answer from a cool and drawling voice.

"Show yourself!" I demand.

"Will you remember if you see what I look like?"

That voice, it feels like that I have verbally fought with that voice before. It feels like that voice once encouraged me and soothed me. It feels like that voice once whispered intimate words so close to my ears.

I've held you only once, But I keep wondrin' why

It seems I held you forever

"Fine. Suit yourself." His voice may be a part of my past but I do not have time for nonsense conversation, so immediately I turn around ready to leave when I feel his hands holding my arm.

"Please don't go."

The weight of his hands on my arm is so new yet it feels like these hands have held me before. His warmth feels so good and calms me. He gently lets go of my arm but he holds my hands and entwines our fingers together, and I am surprised how our hand fits so perfectly.

"Please tell me your name? Do I know you?" I ask once again.

"I'm sorry, I can't. It is better this way."

In one swift movement I am enveloped in a very warm place that I never knew ever existed, his embrace. It feels like I belong in these arms and no place else. And I do the unthinkable, I slowly wrap my arms around him and he softly sighs.

I am confused, have I been in this kind of situation before? If not why does having this person so close to me feel comforting?

"Am I scaring you?" he asks without breaking contact.

"No." And it was a very honest reply.

Can it be true? Could I be wrong?

That somewhere in my past there was also me and you

We can hear the faint music from the ballroom and it is the only thing that breaks the silence, until he starts to hum a different tune, a soft and sad tune, while rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"Will you dance with me?"

"Yes."

We slowly sway to his humming. While the contentment of being so close to him enchants me I can't help but wonder if we were together before. Two boys holding each other close, the two of us together and it amazes me that I smile at my thought and I am thinking just how it feels so right.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Will you remember me if I tell you why?"

I was enraged by how he answers my questions. Though I am enjoying our closeness I shove him off rather roughly.

"Why don't you just answer my questions?" I nearly shout glaring at his hooded frame.

"Because I don't want to relieve the pain of you not remembering me. I have gone though it once and I don't know what I will do if you tell me the second time that you don't remember me."

I've kissed you only once, and I keep wondrin' why

It seems I've kissed your lips forever

"Are you a close friend?"

"We used to fight when we were still in school. But everything changed when we were in our sixth year."

"How?"

"Will you remember if I will show you how?"

I am about to answer him when he captures my lips. We stay like that for quite a long while. I feel his bottom lip move and recapture my lips once more. I lean into him accepting his kisses and giving him mine back. The sensuous way our lips dance makes me feel so alive, and I'm feeling longing ness and something else.

"Have I kissed you before?" I ask him, because there is something about the way he moves his lips that is in sync with mine and the way he tastes is so familiar yet I can not place a name.

"Do...do you remember?" he asks hesitantly.

"I...I..."

"You don't."

I feel so bad not remembering him, making him feel the feelings he had the first time he knew that I do not remember him. I want to lie for him, but I can't.

He is already turning to his side ready to leave when I hold his hooded face, feeling the wetness on his cheeks I carefully remove the tie of his hood and slide it off. The pain in my heart is too much as I watch the tears falling endlessly from his silver eyes.

"Please..." I wipe his tears away and leaning in to kiss his lips once more, when we hear voices calling my name.

"I love you. Add this night to the memories you will never ever remember. I am sorry this happened," he says in a soft yet broken voice. Hurriedly he ties up his hood and leaves without a backward glance.

Ron is the first to find me, after several assurances that I am okay and I want to be left alone he heads to the ballroom carrying with him the ring I was planning to give my now ex-girlfriend. There will be no proposal happening tonight; I wonder what got into me to think of doing it and then I remember I forgot the reason why I should not do that.

Can it be true, could I be wrong

That somewhere in my past I fell in love with you

I did not move from the spot where he left me, hoping that he would change his mind and come back. I never knew when I sat down. I never knew when I started to cry. I never knew when I whispered 'I love you' like a mantra. All I know is when I called out a name.

"Draco!" After an agonizing scream, that is only when I realized that he have not given me his name.

Finish-