Your Faults

I was one of the Marauders, therefore I argued with Snape, daily. If not for the same reason as the rest of the gang.

I've never told anyone this, but Snape had a crush on me back then. He tried to hide it, but I had no problem noticing it. Especially when he kept muttering 'I love you' whenever he thought I couldn't hear. I confronted him about it once, which led to quite an interesting argument and an even more interesting realisation on my part.

It was after we'd started dating. We used to make out whenever we had the chance, touching each other in various places. So it's no wonder the rest of the school started wondering what we did in private. I adored you, still do. Of course, we were young; we didn't think it was serious. Then there was this argument...

"Snape," I whispered, grabbing his arm and turning him towards me. He looked back angrily, but didn't say anything, so I continued. "Get over this obsession you have with me, you don't stand a chance."

"What obsession, I don't know what you're talking about," Snape hissed back, but I could almost hear his heart beating faster. Or rather, I'd grabbed his arm, I could feel his pulse.

"Idiot, didn't you think I'd notice. Sirius will kill you if he finds out."

"That idiot, he wouldn't notice if I kissed you during class."

"We only have History of Magic together, he's asleep then... you admitted it." Snape fell silent and I turned to walk away. But I had only walked ten steps when Snape found his voice again.

"He's not perfect you know," he shouted after me.

Loosing my temper I turned and cursed him. It resulted in one of the worst duels ever; Snape actually ended up in the hospital wing. But as you came and dragged me away, just in time to not get caught by a teacher - Snape would never say who'd done it, and we knew it - a thought popped into my head. Not perfect eh, maybe not. What exactly were your faults...?

***

That night I was sitting in the common room, long after everyone else had gone to bed. I wasn't doing homework, as you thought I did when I chased you away. Nor did I just need some time to myself. No, I was making a list. And not just any list, I was working out all the little things I didn't like about you. It wasn't easy, I admit that. But I knew you had some, and I was desperate to find out what they were.

After I'd been sitting there for nearly ten minutes I wrote down one point.

How many times had that gotten us into trouble, when you, in the middle of the night, decided that we were going on a date and dragged me out of bed and to some mysterious place. The first time you kissed me had been one of those moments too. In the middle of the Great Hall during dinner you just suddenly leaned towards me and started sucking on my bottom lip. It had been a great kiss. You certainly knew how to do that. I crossed it out and went back to thinking.

After another five minutes another thing came to my mind, and again wrote it down.

Yes, you could just start kissing my neck in the middle of class, your hand stroking where you knew I liked it the most. That's why we always sat in the back, and no one ever noticed really. It made classes bearable whenever I was too tired to pay attention. And afterwards we'd go straight to an empty classroom. I'd spent my happiest moments in empty classrooms. I crossed that out too.

Only around those who weren't your friends though, and you had a big heart. The Slytherins paid a price of course. Your pranks were always so well thought up. God, I loved it when you got that look in your eyes, telling me you had a plan that could get us in danger. And if we didn't get caught (which we hardly ever did) we would celebrate afterwards. And our celebrations were... I crossed that point.

Again I had to think for a while before I could think of anything else. After fifteen minutes I finally wrote something down.

Whenever you weren't absorbed with me, which was quite frequently. And you always forgot about yourself when your friends needed you. OK, forget about that too.

Ten more minutes passed. Finally I put my quill to the piece of parchment and wrote down.

You always went out for a little fun. Mostly with me. Unnecessary risks were a part of your life. And I loved them too. Any day spent with you was well-spent. Besides, the risks were often necessary if we were going to find the most romantic spots. You were always romantic. Again I crossed it out.

This time it took me I don't know how long. I just sat there, trying to think of something. I was getting more and more tired, it was late, and I should be in bed right now. Bed... No, do not think about that now. In the end I just wrote something down, angry with myself for not being able to think of anything bad about you.

You'd stopped after our sixth year, and it was growing longer and longer, falling down to your shoulders, perfect to twine your fingers in. Oh, what was the point? I threw the piece of paper into the fire. What was the matter with me, you weren't perfect. Or were you? You were to me.

That's when I first realised I love you.