Siriusly Deluded

Chapter 17: Explanations

On Christmas morning, Sirius was rather excited. In fact, he was so overwhelmingly excited that he jumped out of bed and ran down the hall. Without even pausing to consider the fact that he shouldn't be able to open her door, he burst into her room. Then, once he was inside and the door was closed behind him, he turned around, confusion written all over his face. This was the second time that one of their doors had been opened with no explanation of how or why.

Shrugging off the desire to solve the nagging mystery of the cursed (yes, cursed; Mr. Walker might have used a charm, but Sirius was convinced that it was a curse, set in order to bring utter desolation and unhappiness into his life...he could be a little overdramatic at times) doors, he walked over to the side of Lauren's bed. He pulled aside the sheer white curtains and gazed at her sleeping form longingly.

Excitement about opening presents tossed aside momentarily, his thoughts returned to the night before, in his apartment. He didn't know what had come over him. But when he looked over at her out on his balcony, something inside of him snapped. He wasn't overcome with lust. He didn't want her, didn't need her--at least not in the way that those words were normally used. He just wanted--needed--to be with her.

And when he saw that cute, familiar blush rising up her cheeks at his words, he just couldn't fight it anymore. He had involuntarily swept her off her feet and carried her straight to his bed, very impatient with everything that had so wrongly been in his way. And when he looked down at her, lying there on his bed, he snapped back out of whatever strange universe he had occupied for the few minutes prior.

He had sat down on the edge of the bed, resting his spinning head in his hands, trying to make sense of all he was feeling. When she crawled over to him, he couldn't help it. He had to touch her face. Her soft, lovely, beautiful face. She was the one who grabbed his face and kissed him soundly. Well, maybe he was the one that caused them to fall back onto the mattress...but other than that, everything else had been all her. She'd practically begged him to divest himself...and later her own body...of nearly all of their clothing. Of course he hadn't complained or denied her request. God, she was amazing. Her skin was softer than he could have ever imagined and she had curves that he could have never hoped to dream about. She was absolutely, bloody perfect. And when he leaned over her and kissed her, he felt her happiness...her satisfaction...her love for him, of all people. And that's why, when they broke apart after that amazing kiss, they hadn't done anything else. Sure, it would have been easy to have sex. It would have been very easy--they were already three-quarters of the way there. But he'd always done what was easy, and he refused to do that with her. She'd changed him in so many ways, most of which she'd never know. Not that he wouldn't tell her...he'd try...but he had this feeling that he wouldn't be able to explain it. And when Sirius Black had a feeling--really, one of those sensations stemming from somewhere deep inside of him that he just knew was undeniably true--it was right, always.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and padded across her room, his footsteps cushioned by the plush white carpet. He stood next to her bed, just watching her sleep as if it were the most fascinating sight he'd ever beheld...and he was pretty sure that was the case. Especially when he noticed that the way she was splayed on the mattress--half on her side, half on her stomach, her top leg bent slightly--it looked like she was just waiting for someone to hold her. And he was very much up to the challenge. He gingerly climbed onto the bed, scared to wake her. She made an adorable, nearly imperceptible moaning sound...but he heard it all right. He froze in response, pausing near the edge of the bed. When she didn't open her eyes, he gently lowered himself next to her. He'd barely had time to think when she instinctively moved towards him, her face now buried in his chest (which was bare...he realized happily when he felt her warm breath caressing his skin) and her legs entwined with his own. He wrapped his arms around her contentedly. Presents could wait. This was the best Christmas gift he could ever hope to receive.

Lauren woke up to find herself feeling very warm. She opened her eyes and her brow furrowed in confusion when all she could see was a smooth, tanned surface. Without even thinking, she pressed her lips against it. Somewhere in her mind she knew it was him, but she just hadn't realized it yet.

"Happy Christmas," Sirius said softly, suddenly awakened by the feeling of her soft lips against his chest. "Mmm, Happy Christmas," she replied, sliding her body even closer to his. He sighed and tightened his hold on her.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes until Lauren shifted suddenly, pulling her torso away from his so she could look him in the eyes. He gazed down at her expectantly. "I--last night...I'm sorry we didn't--I didn't mean to..." He must think that she was the worst kind of tease.

"Don't apologize," he said, pulling her back to him. She buried her face in his chest once more as he spoke. "It's okay that we didn't. What we did do, on the other hand, was nothing short of amazing." He paused when she emitted a short, soft laugh.

She started again, her voice meek and self-reproachful. "But I led you on. Wasn't it hard for you to--"

He cut her off, speaking firmly. "You did not lead me on. I didn't expect anything to happen." He paused again, hesitant to answer her unfinished question. "But...yes...it was difficult ('hard' was not the appropriate word, not at all) not to...make love to you." The last few words came out very choked, because she was staring into his eyes once again.

Lauren opened her mouth slowly and said, "I'm so sor--"

He silenced her once more, raising a finger to her lips. "I thought I told you not to apologize," he said gently. "I'm through with taking the easy way out."

Those all-too-familiar tears began forming in the corner of her eyes, but she blinked her eyes furiously and they vanished. She smiled up at him. "God, I love you," she said slowly, her eyes half-closed.

"The name's Sirius," he retorted with mock indignation.

She slapped his arm in response and turned her back to him, apparently moving to get out of the bed. He was feeling a little playful, so he rolled with her, stopping when his knees were planted firmly on either side of her waist, rendering her trapped underneath his body.

"But I love you anyway," he said, staring soulfully into her eyes. She returned his gaze, but he watched with amusement as her eyes traveled lower as she appraised him, a silly smile on her face.

"Like what you see?" he asked, smirking.

"Very much so," she replied softly, that ridiculous grin still adorning her features. She didn't know where he got the idea to wear those flannel pajama pants without a shirt, but it was the best idea he'd had in a while. And his hair was messed up--either from sleep or her having run her hands through it the night before, she wasn't sure...He looked absolutely adorable.

"I told you that you'd want to unwrap me on Christmas morning," he reminded her teasingly.

"I remember," she replied, her eyelids fluttering closed when he lightly brushed the side of her face with his fingertips.

He leaned down to kiss her, closing his eyes as well. He opened them in surprise, however, when his lips touched her hair. He just realized that she had turned her head to the side when he heard her whisper into his ear, "Morning breath."

He groaned and whispered back harshly, pressing his lips against her neck, "Do you think I care?" Honestly, he spent at least one night a month as a dog. Apparently that was the problem.

"Not me--you," she said, highly amused by his candor. He smiled in spite of her jab and began to nuzzle her neck. There were many other parts of her body that he could kiss instead...

"Lauren!" Edward Walker's voice boomed through the house. Though it seemed strangely magnified in her room (at least in Sirius' hazy mind). He sighed and rolled off of her, landing gracefully on the floor.

"I guess I'll go get dressed. Meet you downstairs?"

"Yeah," Lauren replied softly, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

Sirius quickly exited the room.

What he didn't know was that this time, it was Lauren who was admiring his pajama-clad body. 'And what a body it is,' she thought evilly, sinking back into her pillows and emitting a happy sigh. Then she pulled herself up and got out of her bed, ready for the eventful holiday ahead.