Siriusly Deluded

Ch. 5: Revelations

It was the next night, a Tuesday. Lauren had been down in the Ravenclaw common room for the past three hours, completing a particularly difficult assignment for her Ancient Runes class. She loved the class, but it was pretty hard. In fact, all her classes were pretty hard. But she assumed it was all for the best, because she'd be ready for her NEWTs.

She had already made the necessary preparations to go to sleep, and was about to change out of her pajamas when she heard a tap at the window. She jumped, startled by the noise.

She turned around slowly, afraid of what she would see outside the window. When she saw what was out there, she was quite angry.

Just outside her window was Sirius, hovering on a broom!

He motioned for her to open the window. She took a few steps closer to the window, to be sure he was looking straight at her. Then she pointed to her watch and shook her head.

His face fell, then he looked at her with those puppy-dog eyes again. 'Oh Merlin, here we go again,' she thought. She knew the look was coming, so she had tried to look away. However, she had caught a glimpse of him, and it was all over after that. She sighed and went over to the window.

"Sirius, what do you want?"

"Well, I thought it was high (he raised his eyebrows, she laughed) time that you got over your silly fear of flying," he replied.

"Excuse me? Silly fear!" She stamped her foot. After the introductory flying lesson their first year, she had decided she would never sit on a broomstick again.

"Well, yeah. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Are you kidding? Can't you ever be serious?" Lauren asked.

"What? I'm always Sirius," he retorted, grinning evilly.

"No, you're--well, I suppose you are," she was forced to reply.

"So?" he questioned and held out his hand.

Lauren thought for a second, then she struggled to keep a straight face as she retorted, "Well, since you insist that I receive flying instruction, I think I should enlist the services of Ravenclaw's seeker, Amos Diggory. I hear seekers are the best fliers, right?"

She laughed as she saw his face contort into a rather unflattering expression. Then she shakily placed her hand in his.

He helped her to sit on the broomstick behind him. He didn't have to suggest that she wrap her arms around his waist, as she immediately did so.

"You ready?" he asked. He felt her arms tighten further around him. He figured that was about as good a response as he was going to get. So he kicked off, zooming towards the Quidditch pitch.

She squeezed her eyes shut as they sped off, grabbing onto Sirius even more (if that was even possible). She loosened her grip when she heard him gasp, trying to breathe. It was a very strange feeling, being suspended high up in the air on just a stick with twigs attached to the end of it. The broom didn't exactly make for a comfortable seat either. But...the wind blowing past them, and being as close as she was to Sirius...made it almost enjoyable.

She slowly opened her eyes. They were flying over the Forbidden Forest. From this view, it seemed so peaceful...

Meanwhile, Sirius had always loved flying. But this was a new experience. Lauren was seated behind him, her arms around his waist and every inch of the front side of her body was pressed up against him. That's why he had taken a little detour over the forest...He eventually turned the broom around and headed to the pitch.

Once they were there, he lowered the broom so it was hovering right above the ground.

He got off the broom and looked into her eyes. He was very happy when he didn't see a trace of fear there. "Do you want to try?" he asked.

"Okay," she responded hesitantly, "but you have to come."

"Of course," he grinned back at her. He didn't have any intention of not coming. He climbed back on to the broomstick, encircling her waist with his arms and breathing in the scent of her hair. Then he decided he ought to kick off and placed his hands over hers (which were quite tightly gripping the handle).

Immediately they were zooming through the air. He had thought that she would want to fly slowly, at least at first...but she always did manage to surprise him.

"You're a natural," he said proudly into her ear as he removed his hands from over hers and once again wrapped them around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, closing his eyes.

After a while, he felt the broom slowing down. He opened his eyes. Lauren had flown all the way up to the window of her dorm room.

He sighed. He knew the night was going to have to end eventually, but he was enjoying it so.

When he had helped her climb back through her window, Lauren stood there for a second, her eyes locked with his.

Then Lauren took a step towards him. She stood on her tiptoes and he lowered his head so he could hear her as she whispered into his ear, quite out of breath, "Thank you."

Now, normally Sirius would have said something along the lines of "I told you so," but instead he turned his head, and softly grazed his lips against hers.

She brought her hand up to his cheek, resting it there for a second before she pulled away and said, "Now I think it's time for you to get over your silly fear."

Sirius was very confused. "What fear?" he questioned. Sirius Black wasn't afraid of anything. At least he thought so...

"Of being alone, of course."

He blinked, and suddenly realized...he was afraid of being...that. Just the word scared him. The thoughts spun faster and faster in his head. Yes, that was why he had done so many things in his life, especially after his estrangement from his family. That was one of the reasons he had gone to Lauren's house that one night. That was why he'd never wanted to fall in love. What if that special person didn't love him back? He'd be left all alone. The constant stream of girls (had they been cheap replacements for someone else?) had certainly kept him company the past several years.

Lauren watched his eyes grow wider and wider. She didn't realize she'd struck such a deep chord in Sirius. She'd always known that was what he feared, but she didn't think he did...until now.

"But you know, Sirius, deep down, we're all afraid of that..." she whispered into his ear as softly as possible.

He collected his thoughts quickly and said, "Ah, I see...but that's not what I'm most afraid of."

"Oh really?" He had sparked her interest with his response (and the twinkle in his eyes as he said it...).

"I fear being without you," he whispered, well, in all...seriousness.

Lauren couldn't resist that. She leaned forward and kissed him, hard and hungrily.

Sirius' eyes opened wide in shock. Then he used one hand to steady his broom and reached up with the other, tangling it in her hair.

They finally came up for air when Lauren faintly heard someone giggling. It took her a second to realize it was one of her roommates, apparently very entertained by the sight of Lauren snogging a boy suspended in the air outside their window.

"I think you should go," she said, embarrassed.

Sirius wasn't ashamed at all. He was definitely used to PDAs. But he sighed and reluctantly removed his hand from her hair. He stared deeply into her eyes before murmuring "goodnight" and flying off.

"See you later, Sirius," Lauren heard Karen say with a giggle.

Lauren could feel Karen's eyes on her. Karen knew Lauren's feelings about Sirius, especially the less than friendly ones she'd had during their third year. She hadn't told her about recent events, but Karen was a Ravenclaw after all, and Lauren knew she had the sense to figure it out.

"His charm finally got to you, huh?" she heard her friend say.

"You could say that..." Lauren replied.

She could literally hear Karen's eyes rolling in their sockets. "I always knew you'd have a change of heart. Is he as good a kisser as I've heard?"

"Shove off," Lauren replied, laughing and tossing her pillow at Karen.

She quickly changed into her pajamas, then climbed into her bed and shut the hangings. Then she realized that she was sans pillow.

"Accio pillow," she said lazily as she opened one side of the curtain. Her pillow flew across the room. It nearly hit her in the face before she caught it.

Exhausted from her excessive homework, flying, and kissing (she touched her lips, noticing how swollen they still were), Lauren quickly drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next night Lauren had prefect duties to attend to, which basically meant that she had to patrol the halls of the school with her fellow Ravenclaw prefect, John Lovegood.

John was really nice, but Lauren thought him rather strange. He always talked about really crazy stuff, like he was doing at the moment.

Lauren laughed inwardly as John launched into another spiel about the evidence of the existence of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks...

Their shift was almost over, so the pair walked down the stairs to the entrance of the Great Hall, where Severus Snape and Bellatrix Black, the Slytherin prefects, were waiting for them.

Even though she had grown up with them as well, Lauren wasn't very fond of the two people standing in front of the huge doors. She didn't really like Bellatrix's attitude at all, especially as she was one of Sirius' estranged family members. She held the customary Black view of being superior to anyone who wasn't pureblood. Severus shared that mentality. Neither of them chose to hide their opinions.

One of the things that Lauren had been angry with Sirius for was his constant torturing of Severus. She couldn't believe that he could be so insensitive and mean.

Sure, Severus was an easy target. He was small, quiet, and unconfident. And Lauren didn't have any respect at all for Sirius when she heard about the things he had done.

When they reached the Slytherins, Lauren said to Severus, "No problems tonight. Probably because of Professor Binns' insane annual term paper." She was so glad that she had decided to stop taking History of Magic after completing her OWLs. Binns was the most boring professor in the entire world.

Severus smirked back at her knowingly. Bellatrix simply scrunched up her nose at the memory.

Suddenly, Lauren felt something poke her in the back. "Ow!" she yelped. She whipped around, but saw nothing behind her. She quickly deduced that it had been Sirius, under that stupid invisibility cloak. She narrowed her eyes and slowly turned around to face the other prefects, all of whom were looking at her as if she was crazy, even John. She silently vowed to have a little talk with Sirius.

"Sorry, I think my wand poked me in the back," Lauren quickly explained, careful not to meet the eyes of the others. She wasn't the best liar in the world.

She looked up at them again and said, "Well, I have some business I need to attend to..." She quickly turned around and stalked down the corridor, turning right at the first connecting hallway. She walked another fifty meters before stopping abruptly.

"Okay, Sirius," Lauren said tersely.

She watched Sirius come into view as he removed the cloak, grinning stupidly at her.

"Sirius, what the bloody hell is wrong with you? Merlin! Are you trying to make me look like an idiot in front of people?"

Sirius' smile quickly faded. He was staring at her, and Lauren saw a glimmer of anger in his now insanely bright blue eyes as he retorted, "Why were you talking to them, to Snivellus?" He finished the question with a sneer.

Lauren's eyes widened. Was he jealous of her talking to Sni--Severus? If that was the problem, he was being incredibly immature. She decided to ask him. She took a step closer. "Sirius, do you have a problem with me talking to Severus?" she ventured carefully, searching his face intently.

"Of course I don't. I just don't think it's good for you to associate with such nosy, annoying..."

Sirius stopped talking when Lauren raised her eyebrows. She didn't believe a word he was saying and he knew it.

He took a deep breath and said simply, "Okay, I do."

She grabbed his hands, lacing her fingers into his. She looked up at him, making sure she had his full attention.

"Sirius, you have absolutely no reason to be jealous. I have to talk to him, just like I have to talk to all the other prefects. And even if we weren't both prefects, he's been my partner in Potions forever..."

Suddenly Lauren thought she knew why Sirius had been playing all those vicious pranks on the poor Slytherin boy all those years. She felt very guilty. If she had known she was the reason for the pain and embarrassment Sirius and his friends had caused Severus...Now she was really mad. 'How dare he use me as an excuse to do those horrible things?' She let go of his hands.

"...I want you to stop playing tricks on him, starting right this second. I can't believe you, using him to make you feel better about yourself," she finished, disgusted.

Sirius sighed and looked down at the floor. Lauren was right, about everything. He had started torturing (rather than just taunting) Snivellus when he had found out that he had been paired with Lauren in Potions. And with the encouragement he received from James and Peter (Remus had never approved, though), it had really snowballed from there. He was pretty ashamed of himself at the moment. 'I must be the biggest prat in the world,' he thought.

"Alright, I'll stop. Will you forgive me?"

"It's not me you should be asking for forgiveness, it's Severus. However, I do accept your apology," she replied resignedly.

For some reason he didn't think that Sniv--Snape (he just couldn't bring himself to refer to that greasy git by his first name) would be forgiving him anytime soon...

"Thank you. I'll try," he said, completely sincere.

"Good. I'll see you later," Lauren responded coolly.

He watched as she walked down the hall, feeling more like six centimeters tall rather than six feet.

Then he put on the cloak and dragged himself back to the Gryffindor dormitories. 'I should have just stayed and played wizard's chess,' he thought, not at all happy with the night's events.

When he reached the common room, the Marauders were at their usual table, perusing an all-too familiar piece of parchment. He flopped onto the couch beside Remus, and lazily looked over the Marauder's Map. Suddenly, a particular part of the castle caught his eye. He suddenly had an idea how he might get Lauren to talk to him again...