Insanity is but a Word

Harry Potter, other characters and locations from the Harry Potter series belong to J.K Rowling not me. Other recognizable characters also do not belong to me, and I do not claim ownership of them. I'm just playing around in a world created by others.

AN: I'm sorry this has taken so long to post. My life has been extremely hectic and I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter well. I'll be able to write more often now, but I can't promise regular postings. If nothing else, I won't let this become another abandoned fic. I will finish it. Thanks for all the support, and enjoy.

"Speech"

Thoughts

/Parseltongue/

Damn it, I'm going to be late for the train at this rate. Harry and Ron were, of course, running late the morning of the train ride home. It was no big surprise. In fact, it was a regular occurrence. The Weasleys had arriving late, but not missing the train down to a science. What wasn't normal was Harry being intercepted by the Headmaster on his way to the train, which led to his present predicament.

Predictably, Dumbledore was concerned about Harry after the incident in his office. "I know that you rather not return to Privet Drive, Harry, but the wards there will keep you safer than anywhere else."

Oh, sure they will. Voldemort won't be killing me this summer. The Dursleys might though. If they push me far enough, the Ministry might get involved too, and we all know Fudge would love to get some leverage on me. "With all due respect sir, you don't understand just how bad it is. I'll tell you now, that I'm only going back there for protection. If the Dursleys try to pull their normal routine, I'm going to defend myself." It was obvious Harry was agitated. He had ignored the armchair the Headmaster had conjured for him and was now pacing, while his hand conspicuously twitched toward his wand.

Dumbledore just sighed in response. "Surely, they are not that bad Harry. They are your family. It will just be another summer, and you'll be able to spend August at Headquarters." He couldn't believe that it would be that bad. Harry's relatives would never force him to defend himself.

Just let me go, Dumbledore. You're sending me back to that hell hole with no idea what it's really like. You don't even bother to keep tabs on me, when you need me to kill a Dark Lord for you. You won't be able to say I didn't warn you. "I have to get to the train, sir, or I'm going to be late." Harry knew that he was being obviously confrontational, but Dumbledore deserved it after keeping the prophecy from him.

With Dumbledore as an escort, Harry made it to the train on time and immediately started looking for his friends. He walked down the train looking in compartments, until one door opened and he was dragged into that compartment. As he was thrown into a seat, he tried to regain his balance, but lost all remaining balance when he fell on top of someone already sitting in the seat he was thrown towards.

"Alright, Harry," Luna said. "I'll sit with you if you don't want to take the open seat, but I'm sitting in your lap, not the other way around.

Harry blushed furiously as Luna suited actions to words and Ron, Ginny, Hermione and Neville laughed at his expense. Nice throw, Ron... Git. "Hey everyone. Sorry about not coming down with you. Professor Dumbledore just wanted to check in with me after what happened at the Ministry." His expression darkened at this, and his friends sat there in their own thoughts.

Luna was the one that finally broke the tension. She hugged Harry from his lap and told him in no uncertain terms, "We're here for you if you need us."

Harry smiled joyfully as everyone agreed with Luna. They really were family. As the train left the station, the other four began a conversation about pointless topics, while Luna seemed to content to stare at nothing. They talked about what they thought of the OWLs, plans for the summer, how next year's Defense instructor could possibly be worse than Umbridge and anything else that came up. Harry just sat there and soaked in the normality and intimacy of it all.

Inevitably, having found a warm and comfy seat, Luna fell asleep while still sitting on Harry's lap. It was sort of a shame that he didn't see Luna that way, but he definitely preferred her as a member of his new family. It was definitely going to be an odd family, though, especially if they all ended up sharing the level of contact and emotional connection that he now seemed to have with Luna. What do I care? They won't judge me. Or if they do, it won't matter all that much. They're my friends. Now what to do about Luna?... Well if you can't beat 'em...

And with that thought, Harry let himself drift off to sleep soothed by the motion of the train and the rhythm of his friends' voices. Everyone else noticed of course, but no one wanted to wake Harry. They all knew that he hadn't been getting much sleep since the Ministry. Ron and Neville had shared information and were fairly sure that Harry hadn't gotten more than five hours of sleep each night. He almost always woke one of them when he woke, but they always went back to sleep while Harry began his day.

"Shhhhh," Ron hissed and nodded his head toward the sleeping pair. He was already trying to think of the best way to tease Harry mercilessly. It's not that he wasn't relieved that Harry finally seemed to be getting some peaceful sleep, but he was literally sleeping with Luna "Loony" Lovegood right now. It would just be fun among friends.

"We know, Ron," Hermione responded after glancing at Harry and Luna thoughtfully. Luna was something of an enigma to her. She would never understand how anyone could ever believe in so many obviously fictional animals. Still, she seemed to be helping Harry deal with recent events, and he was definitely physically more comfortable with her than any of them. Harry had always kept his distance when it came to personal space, which stopped any of them from connecting to him with anything but words. Sometimes it was just so much easier to communicate support or friendship with a physical gesture of some sort. If Luna was drawing him out physically and supporting him emotionally, then it could only be a good thing.

Ginny's thoughts were a little bit different. She believed that she would be better for Harry, but he refused to look at her that way. Luckily for her, Harry didn't seem to be looking at Luna that way either. There was no doubt Luna was helping Harry, but Ginny resolved to keep a close eye on them to make sure that if Harry ever became attracted to either of them, it would be her. They were meant to be together, and she would make it happen.

Neville just continued the conversation, although he made sure to keep his voice down. It was good to see Harry getting some real sleep. He deserved it. Luna also needed a good friend, while Harry needed someone to support him and draw him out. If they could help each other, then so much the better. Besides, they made a cute couple.

_-~|O|~-_

Harry slept dreamlessly through the rest of the train ride. When the Express arrived at the platform, Ron shook him awake and everyone grabbed their trunks. Well, this is goodbye. The group moved away from the train out onto the platform to look for their families. Neville spotted his grandmother and said his goodbyes as Ginny and Ron saw their parents headed for their group. It looked like Fred and George were busy with the shop at the moment. Mrs. Weasley immediately engulfed Ron in a hug and started asking Ginny about her school year. Luna took advantage of the distraction to trace one of Harry's scars. "I'll see you in a few months," she whispered. "Good luck." She quickly said goodbye to the others and walked away.

As soon as Harry turned back from watching her walk away, he was caught in a backbreaking hug from Mrs. Weasley. He stiffened up and did his best to extricate himself, while still being polite. With a little help from Ron, he begged off of the interrogation about his school year so he could go look for his relatives. A voice spoke from behind him before he could move, "Enjoy yourself this summer, Harry. And don't forget to write." We'll see if I get the chance... No doubt you'll be signing all your letters with love, won't you Ginny?

"You too, Ginny. I'll see you all soon," Harry said. Well, this is awkward. He turned to Ron. "Have a good summer, Ron. Take care of yourself and I'll see you in August."

"You too, mate. Don't let your relatives get you down. We'll be in touch if you need any help."

Nodding his thanks, Harry moved on to Hermione. "Have a great vacation, Hermione. And make sure it is a vacation. You'll have plenty of time to learn during the school term," he said with a grin.

"I'll enjoy myself however I want," Hermione responded. "Keep in contact if you need anything Harry. We're all willing to help." Harry nodded and was immediately smothered in a hug. Well if things are going to change, they have to start somewhere... Harry tentatively put his arms around Hermione and returned the hug, which was something he'd never allowed himself to do before. He still kept the hug short. There was no need for his friends to discover all of his secrets yet, but it was nice to be able to open up.

They head for the barrier and crossed over into the Muggle station. The first thing that Harry saw was Moody threatening Vernon. No, no, no, no, no. He moved to get in between them, but he would never get there in time. Mr. Weasley stepped forward and held him back. "The Order is going to be watching you a little more closely this summer," he said, with what was probably meant to be a comforting smile. "Your relatives are being warned about mistreating you, and we'll be expecting owls from you every three days." No, nooo... You're just going to make it worse. Why couldn't you leave well enough alone? I could handle another summer of the normal treatment, but now it's going to be so much worse.

Harry couldn't do anything but watch helplessly as his fate for the summer was set. I can't stay now. If they were brutal before, they'll be murderous now. I need a way to get out. The Order will check on me in three days if I don't owl them... that might work. Moody had finished threatening Vernon, and it didn't look good for Harry. That shade of purple shouldn't have been possible for a living person to achieve.

"Boy," Vernon snarled at him. Oh yeah, this is not going to be good. Screw this. I'm sticking to the plan and I'll fight back if I have to. "Get your things... And get in the car." Vernon was clearly livid about being threatened by freaks.

Harry grabbed Hedwig and his trunk, and followed his relatives to the car. The Dursleys would no doubt confiscate his trunk and everything in it. Mostly, that didn't matter. He didn't need his school things. The only two objects of importance they would be taking were a Firebolt and an eleven inch holly wand. A fake eleven inch holly wand. The real one was currently strapped to the side of his shin. If the Dursleys became intolerable, he wouldn't be left unprotected.

The trip back to Privet Drive was made in almost absolute silence. Petunia was pretending that her nephew wasn't even there, while Dudley just stared at him in glee. The freak was going to get it, and he wanted to help. Vernon was the one that Harry had to worry about. He was obviously planning something, and it was something big. Nothing else could make the sadistic bastard smile like that after having been threatened so recently.

"I'm warning you now, freak. No matter what happens, you will send letters to your kind telling them that you're fine every two days. I don't care if the damn bloody world is ending. You will send the letters. Understand?"

Shit. "Yes, Uncle Vernon," Harry meekly replied, as the car turned onto Privet Drive.

"Good. Get your things and get inside."

Thinking quickly, Harry grabbed his wand and held it along the inside of his arm. Whatever was coming was going to be bad, and his wand might be snapped if he weren't careful. That wand might be the only thing to save him. He couldn't afford to be expelled because of using magic outside of school, but if it came down to it, he would take expulsion over the treatment the Dursleys put him through. He'd have no way out if his wand was destroyed. He'd be defenseless. He'd be at the mercy of his hated relatives, who had long ago proven that they wanted nothing more than to be rid of him.

As Harry trudged up the eternally pristine lawn with his trunk and Hedwig, he surreptitiously glanced around. When he wasn't being watched, he flicked his wrist, and his wand went sailing into the bushes. Mentally marking the spot, Harry continued to the door without ever breaking stride.

Horse-Face will never find that. She refuses to do her own gardening, and when she tells me to do it, I'll take back my wand and hide it in my room... Time to face reality. Roll with the punches, Potter. If all goes wrong, you can get out of here in three days.

Harry opened the door and took a step inside with all his senses straining to find his relatives. He didn't see them anywhere, but that didn't mean anything. No, the important thing was that he couldn't hear them. He couldn't hear anything for that matter. The entire house was silent. This place was never silent when Dudley was home. He was constantly watching tv, listening to music or otherwise making noise. Also, Harry's sixth sense, the sense that always took over when he fought Voldemort, was screaming at him to run away. He'd come to trust his battlefield instincts. The instructions that came from that hidden portion of his mind had saved him more than once. Unfortunately, listening to them just wasn't an option this time. Harry closed the door behind him and cut off the outside world.

The first punch came from his left side through the doorway into the living room. He never even saw Vernon's anvil of a fist before it crashed into the side of his head, lifting him off his feet and throwing him into the wall. The second blow was a massive kick from his opposite side as soon as he landed. Aaaand Dudley's here too. With the wind knocked out of him, Harry kept his arms tight around his stomach and tried to make himself as small a target as possible.

Years of neglect and malnutrition had left Harry at only 5'6" (1.66 m) tall and 95 pounds (43 kg), even after having eaten well at Hogwarts over the past five years. He was pitifully thin, and Vernon and Dudley could easily throw him around. He also knew from experience that his lack of fat and muscle put him in grave danger. Every hit wasn't absorbed by fat and muscle. The force of each blow transmitted almost directly to his bones. His reaction to protect his torso was an attempt to protect himself from any potentially fatal injuries. In exchange, he left his head completely open.

The Dursley men saw this and jumped at the opportunity. One would go for body shots, while the other rained blows on Harry's head, and then they would switch. The first few punches and kicks were always the worst. They were still unique. Every impact at that point was separate from every other. Each spike of pain was still new. After six or seven hits and a particularly vicious kick to the back of his head, Harry began to lose any sense of his surroundings. The pain began to blur together and time lost meaning. All Harry knew were the pain, the smell of blood and the sounds of Vernon and Dudley panting above him, while the thudding sound of impacts on yielding flesh filled the house. Harry slowly slipped into unconsciousness, but his relatives weren't done with him yet.

Ten minutes later, Harry was dragged back into reality by a searing pain in his neck and the smell of burning flesh. He tried to arch his back and get away from the pain, but he was held tightly by what felt like thick steel bands. Tortured screams rang out through the house as Harry's eyes opened. Dudley was the one holding him, and the searing pain was the lit end of a cigarette, which Vernon was pressing into the side of his neck.

"SHUT UP, BOY," Vernon thundered in his ear, while punching him in the gut. "The neighbors will not hear this, or this will be light treatment compared to what I'll do to you. Now, not a peep out of you. Understand?"

"Yes, Uncle Vernon," Harry managed to gasp out while trying to catch his breath.

"Good." Vernon took a long drag on the cigarette to make sure it was still red hot. "Freaks dare to threaten me? I'll show them who they're dealing with." The next burn was right next to the previous one. So close in fact, that the two circles overlapped and started to form a small line. All Harry could do was whimper and squirm. He couldn't move and couldn't yell. All he could do was suffer. The tip was still smoldering, so Vernon took a quick puff and went back to his work.

And so it continued. Vernon burned a full circle around Harry's neck, circle by circle. The whole time, Harry had no other option, but to sit and suffer through it. When Vernon was finished, he straightened up. "Collared like the animal you are. Now they'll all know when they see you. Think they can order me around? They'll think twice now." With that, he threw a massive right cross into Harry's temple and knocked him out.

_-~|O|~-_

Harry woke up in his room to a pounding headache, aches everywhere and an incredible stiffness in his neck. The first thing he tried to do was stretch out his neck and immediately regretted that decision. He gently fingered the burns from yesterday as he tried to decide what to do next. Home sweet fucking home.

His relatives obviously meant business this year. He would have to leave as soon as possible. The Order was expecting a letter tomorrow, so that might be the best time to leave. He also didn't want to be stuck under Dumbledore's watch. Maybe, he could draw the aurors? That could work. In any case, he still had to survive today before he could do anything else.

As Harry stood up, a wave of dizziness hit him, and it took all his willpower not to throw up. Oh, it is going to be a loooong day.... Might be a concussion. Damn pigs just had to aim for my head! He slowly sat back up. Slow and steady. Over the next fifteen minutes, he managed to get himself into a standing position without being debilitated by the effects of yesterday's beating.

Harry staggered downstairs to find Petunia waiting for him with a list of chores. He had to cook meals, weed and water the garden, mow the lawn and a dozen other minor chores. It was going to be nearly impossible to do all this in the condition he was in. He could barely move! How was he supposed to work out in the garden? Before anything else, he needed to collect his wand. It was a good thing he moved it. If he hadn't, it definitely would have been snapped.

Harry slowly and carefully made a light breakfast that would still meet his relatives' standards. Note to self: mixing hot grease with impaired balance and coordination is a really really bad idea. As soon as the food was finished, he made his way outside to grab his wand, which he stored under the loose floorboard in his room and he got to work on the chores. Although he worked constantly, he wasn't able to finish all of the work in his current state.

That night, the packages that Harry had ordered at Hogwarts arrived by owl. He opened them up and found that everything fit his specifications perfectly. The packages held three sets of new clothes that actually fit him (all in black), some hair gel, a necklace with a shark tooth pendant and four silver chain bracelets, each with a charm attached. The charms were each held by three circles that were bonded to each other to form what looked like a gyroscope. The charms themselves dangled from smaller chains. They were a lily, a stag and a dog, all exquisitely carved from obsidian, and a full moon carved in painstaking detail from ivory. Now that these are here, I'm gone. Tomorrow night is the night.

_-~|O|~-_

Harry snapped out of a nightmare and immediately sat straight up. He regretted that motion as he fell out of bed and fought not to puke up the contents of his stomach. Disconnected fragments of his dream started to float to the surface of his mind. Tortured screams. Rivers of blood. So much blood. The glint of light off of blades. And above all, the smell of burning flesh. Constant and invasive, the smell was everywhere as the skin, fat and muscle burned to a crisp.

Once Harry was back in control of himself, he put on some of Dudley's cast-offs. He had a feeling it would be a bad idea to wear his new clothes in front of Vernon. Originally, the clothes had been bought to use to piss off his relatives. That had been done before he knew that they meant business. He might not survive if he wore any of his new clothes today. With those thoughts in mind, Harry headed downstairs to face his relatives.

As Harry entered the kitchen, a heavy hand fell on his shoulder and the backs of his knees were kicked out so that he fell into a kneeling position. The hand dug painfully into the inside of his collarbone and the back of his neck. "Take off your shirt, boy."

Harry did as he was told. He was actually expecting this after not finishing his chores yesterday. The only question was how bad it would be.

The only sound was the click and jingle of Vernon removing his belt. Shit.

As Vernon drew back the belt, Harry once again heard the buckle jingle.

No...

Harry's back exploded in pain as the metal buckle dug cruelly into his right shoulder and dug a path across his back. A yell almost escaped him, but he managed to choke it down. It was only through sheer experience that he managed to stop himself from biting his lip to keep from screaming. He'd learned the hard way that he would bite clear through his lip if he tried that. The one saving grace was that this had happened often enough that his back was tough and calloused.

Apparently, Vernon realized this. "Turn around, freak."

Fate, you bitch! I'll get you for this!

Harry saw the buckle flying toward him, and it took every ounce of his willpower not to move, not to run. If he showed even a hint of fear or disobeyed at all, then he would only be punished more harshly, and he honestly didn't know how much more he could take. He was already having a hard time not taking revenge on his relatives.

The belt buckle ripped open his chest and tore a off a strip of his skin. The vivid stripe quickly started bleeding, but Vernon was too busy to notice. He ignored it and continued the whipping. At the end of each lash, he jerked the belt upwards, and that motion was spattering Harry's face with blood as his already massive collection of scars grew.

Each lash was a lance of pain shooting across Harry's body. He'd given in and started whimpering at some point. He would have been screaming, if the wind hadn't been knocked out of him. The lashes didn't fall at the same angle or even the same direction. Some curved upwards instead of downwards or went from right to left instead of left to right. Vernon seemed to be doing his best to overlap the lashes so that the tender cut skin was torn even more.

Harry retreated into his mind. He went there often when he couldn't deal with the outside world any longer. The pain and burdens of the world faded away here, and he could be alone in his mind. He walked through his thoughts and tried to find the source of the cries for him to run or fight back. Aahh, of course it's coming from the void. The void was literally an absence of thought and structure in Harry's mind. It was a hole in the midst of his consciousness. The only way Harry could explain it was to call it his instincts, but he was pretty sure that that was wrong. Satisfied with the state of his mind, Harry settled in to wait out the beating.

By the time Vernon was satisfied, Harry had over thirty new cuts on his chest, which was mangled almost beyond recognition. It was now just a patchwork of red and white. Because of his condition, he was given the rest of the day off lest the neighbors suspect anything.

Up in his room, Harry forced himself to stay standing and to try not to move. Every move he made just moved his chest and back more. He needed to remain still to allow the cuts to scab, and if he lay down or put on a shirt, his skin would scab onto the material. He really didn't feel like ripping all the scabs off later, so he stood looking out the window. All Harry could do was wait for nightfall and plan.