Hunting The Traitor

Surprises

Harry woke up to the sound of voices speaking downstairs in the kitchen. With a deep sigh, he rubbed his sleep puffed eyes with the palms of his hands before he slowly set to the task of opening them. Bright sunlight filtered through the light curtains into his room, but that was about everything he could clearly see without his glasses.

Slightly wondering why he still felt so tired, normally once he had woken up there was nothing that could stop him from roaming the house, he sat up in his bed and put on the glasses that had lain on the bedside table.

Yawning and once more rubbing his eyes under the glasses, he listened to the voices that were conversing downstairs. His forehead frowned, he could not imagine who would visit them so early in the morning.

And then he remembered. Of course, how could he have forgotten! Today was his birthday, his seventh birthday, and he'd not been able to go to sleep the previous evening because he had been far too excited about the big surprise he had been promised.

With a grin, Harry climbed out from under the blankets and literally ran out of his bedroom and down the stairs, not caring that he was still wearing his pyjamas and that his hair was tousled beyond even its usual state of being wild. Not that this would have changed even if he had tried to comb it.

When he stepped into the kitchen, a bright smile spread across his face.

His grandpa was sitting on the kitchen table with his one and a half year old cousin Julia on his lap. He was talking to his aunt Serena while he tried to hinder Julia from spilling the contents of his coffee cup across his lap. Julia seemed to find the yellow cup extremely interesting and refused to stop her attempts to get hold of it. Serena was laughing at the pair of them, especially when Richard asked her to help him with 'her brat'.

Harry decided to ask him later what 'brat' meant, it sounded funny. Well, his aunt didn't seem to think so, because she started shaking her head, blond hair falling across her shoulders, while she raised a threatening finger at his grandpa. But then again most words Serena reacted to like this proved to be funny.

His uncle Janus was leaning against the kitchen counter, oblivious to what was going on at the kitchen table, one hand around his own cup of coffee, the other holding the morning paper. He was reading out an article to Remus, who stood at the stove and prepared pancakes, from time to time chuckling about something Janus had read.

For a moment, Harry stood in the doorway and took in the scene of his family, who had all come only because of his birthday, with a huge grin on his face, until his excitement got the better of him and he literally stormed into the room to make his presence noticed.

Janus had just enough time to put his hot coffee onto the counter before a swirl of unruly black hair and blue pyjamas launched himself at him with a squeal of delight.

"Now looks who's finally decided to show up." He said as he lifted Harry clear off the floor and hugged him. "Happy Birthday, little one. We had already thought we would have to start the party without you."

Harry drew back a little and looked at Janus from his intense green eyes, then grinned and shook his head feverishly.

"Nah, you wouldn't have."

His uncle just repeated the grin and raised an eyebrow in mocked seriousness.

"Sure about that?"

Harry just nodded.

"Remus wouldn't have let you."

"Speaking of which, how come that I'm being ignored here, young man?"

Harry turned around while Janus set him back on the floor and found that Remus had finished the pancakes and now stood in front of the stove, his arms crossed over his chest and trying to look serious, but failing miserably.

Janus was fairly sure that if Harry's grin would grow just a little wider, the top of his head would fall off.

The boy quickly made up for not noticing his godfather earlier and gave him an equally long hug while Remus affectionately ruffled Harry's hair.

"Happy birthday, pup." He held Harry at arm's length and glanced him up and down. "You grow up way too fast, do you know that?"

Janus made a snorting sound of suppressed laughter from his side.

"Getting sentimental, Remus?"

Remus tuned around and gave his older brother a knowing grin.

"Just wait until Julia is as old as Harry. Just wait. And then, all of a sudden, she's eleven, goes to Hogwarts and only comes home during the holidays, graduates, starts a life of her own, marries a man you absolutely detest, and then you'll ask yourself where all the time went to."

Janus responded only with another snorting sound while Harry went over to his aunt and grandfather to say hello. In a combined effort, he and Julia managed to finally spill Richard's coffee as Harry launched himself at his grandpa and the older man quickly lifted Julia up so that Harry wouldn't squash her in between them. Only Serena's quickly thrown cleaning charm prevented the breakfast from being soaked with coffee.

She laughed and put her wand back into her pocket.

"It seems I'm slowly getting the hang of this. I swear, since Julia has started crawling around the house, causing havoc wherever she goes, I feel like an Auror. Always wand in hand, ready to save my house from getting destroyed."

Harry looked up.

"Julia destroys your house?"

There was so much serenity and honest concern in the little boy's voice that Serena had a hard time to suppress her laughter. She stretched out her arms and pulled Harry onto her lap.

"First of all Happy Birthday Harry. And no, Julia doesn't destroy our house. But small children are often a little clumsy and spill things or knock them over."

Harry nodded as if he understood, but Serena was perfectly sure that he had not grasped it completely. Suddenly, Harry climbed onto his knees in her lap and looked over her shoulder towards Remus.

"Was I clumsy when I was little?"

Remus put the pancakes onto the table and smiled down at his godson.

"A little."

Harry nodded seemed to contemplate this. Then his eyes lit up as another question poked up in his mind.

"Were you clumsy when you were little, Remus?"

Before Remus could answer, Janus next to him began to choke on his coffee as he tried to suppress his laughter. Remus patted his back a little harder than it would have been necessary, the last slap hitting his brother on the back of his head.

Between the coughs Janus managed to utter something that sounded astonishingly like 'you can't even begin to imagine'.

"Alright Harry, sit down on a chair please. You can't eat your breakfast on Serena's lap."

Harry climbed down from his aunt's lap and sat down on his usual chair across from Remus, his eyes lightening up as he looked at the breakfast.

"Chocolate 'n banana pancakes? With syrup?"

Remus smiled and nodded.

"Right. It's your birthday, in case you have forgotten."

Harry looked at him and frowned his nose, a small gesture he always made when he realized that Remus was mocking or teasing him. Which was astonishingly often for a boy of his age.

"Tuck in before it gets cold."

And so Harry did. It was still astonishing for Remus to see how much food such a small boy could devour. He wondered when Harry would hit another growth spurt, he was still quite small for his age, and all the food he ate had to go somewhere after all.

They spent the breakfast talking about small delightful things and when Harry had finally finished his last pancake Remus sent him upstairs to get dressed while he cleaned up the kitchen.

The child was back after an astonishingly short amount of time, but Remus couldn't detect any trace of syrup or chocolate on him anymore, so he guessed that Harry had merely hurried because he finally wanted to see what his big surprise was.

Harry literally bounced up and down in excitement.

"What's the surprise? Remus, you said you had a surprise for me!"

Remus smiled and grabbed Harry by the shoulders, turning him around and steering him towards the living room.

"You'll see."

Harry's jaw nearly hit the floor when they entered the living room. Multicoloured balloons were hanging on the walls and the ceiling next to a banner that said "Happy Birthday Harry!". Small blue and green magical lights zoomed up and down the room and on the table in front of the sofa was a stack of wrapped packages.

Harry looked around in awe and when his eyes finally settled on the presents he looked at Remus.

"That's all for me?"

Remus laughed.

"No, all the large ones are for me."

Again that nose frown. Sometimes the little boy's comprehension scared Remus to some extend, but then again were those moments when Harry innocently tried to understand double meanings or word plays and failed miserably.

"Nah, it's not your birthday Remus."

Remus laughed.

"Then go ahead and open them."

Harry didn't really need another encouragement to storm ahead and grab the nearest package in childish excitement. Remus sat down next to him.

"Read the name tag before you open it."

"It's from grandpa!"

Harry ripped the red wrapping paper open and found his first own set of wizard's chess in a not-so-violent junior edition, a dark blue jumper and a new set of crayons. Harry looked at the chess set in awe, then flung himself at Richard.

"Thank you grandpa. Remus never allowed me to play with his figures. Will you teach me how to play? Please?"

Harry made his big puppy eyes that never failed their purpose and Richard laughed.

"Of course. But why don't you open up your other presents first?"

Harry eagerly complied. The next present was from Serena and Janus, and when he opened it, he found, to his great astonishment, a set of Quidditch robes. Harry looked up in confusion, first to his aunt and uncle, then to Remus. His godfather scowled darkly at his uncle.

"Remus?"

Ignoring Harry's voice, Remus deepened his scowl. Harry looked at the dark green robes in confusion, until Remus' voice interrupted him.

"The Dublin Dragons, Janus?"

Janus just grinned widely, ignoring his brother's obvious disapproval completely.

"Of course the Dragons, what else? The kid has to learn sooner or later which Quidditch teams are good and which are not. And who shall teach him if not me? You? I think not."

"Oh, and why not?"

"Because then Harry would end up in Puddlemere United robes, or worse, the Paris Panthers."

"There's nothing wrong with the Panthers!"

"Except that the French don't know how to play Quidditch. Really, naming a team after an animal that can't even fly. And then the way they play..."
"Hey!" Richard interrupted his sons. "You seem to forget the little detail that I'm French, which makes you partly French as well if I'm not very much mistaken. And shouldn't this be a birthday party instead of a discussion about Quidditch?"

Both Janus and Remus immediately stopped their argument and looked away in embarrassment. Richard had to suppress his laughter as he once more realized how much authority he still held for his now grown up sons. But Harry still didn't understand.

"But why do you give me Quidditch robes? You know that Remus doesn't allow me to..."

Remus put a hand on Harry's shoulder and smiled. Just finish unpacking, then you'll see. The yellow package next."

It was a rather large package and it came from Remus. Inside, Harry found a stack of new clothes, a set of Exploding Snap cards, three books and a huge package of Chocolate Frogs. Harry loved books, it came along with being raised by Remus. He had practically grown up in the bookstore his godfather ran in town. The clothes were great as well, just like the game and the chocolate, but this present didn't answer his question about the Quidditch gear. He looked up at Remus somewhat confused, but gave him a hug nevertheless.

"Thank you Remus."

"You're welcome, pup."

Remus inwardly smiled and started counting down from ten to zero, he didn't expect his godson to wait longer than that. Nine, eight, seven, six,...

"Remus?"

Remus smiled. Patience definitely wasn't one of Harry's virtues.

"Yes Harry?"

"What about the Quidditch gear?"

Remus smiled.

"I told you there was a surprise, didn't I?"

"Well yes, but what do I need a Quidditch gear for? You said you don't want me to play because it's too dangerous."

Remus sighed and put an arm around Harry's small shoulders.

"Well, your uncle over there kept on pestering me about this for weeks. He is convinced that Quidditch isn't dangerous at all, with which I don't really agree, and that the one time when you fell off your broom and broke your arm was just a normal accident that happens once in a while, which I don't believe either, but I knew that he would not stop pestering me about it and so I made a deal with him."

Harry frowned in confusion. Whenever Remus tried to explain something without wasting too much time, especially when other adults were present, he tended to construct awfully long sentences with many commas and subordinates. Whenever this happened, Harry tried to focus on the few words he understood, trying to deduce Remus' meaning from them.

"What deal?"

"Well, he promised me to refrain from teaching you how to play it himself, which would be a hazard to your health and my nerves, if I agreed to let you...oh, why don't we just go outside, then you'll understand."

He pulled Harry up from the sofa and out of the back door into the garden, the rest of the family in tow. The first thing Harry's eyes fell on when he looked around was the junior broom that was leaning on the wall next to the door. Harry's eyes were as wide as they would open when he cautiously approached the broom as if it was a dangerous animal. A sheet of paper was fixed to the handle with spell-o-tape.

"Read the paper first."

Harry nodded and carefully pulled the paper of the handle, reading aloud as good as he could with only slightly more than a year of reading practice. But though he stumbled over the more difficult words, the meaning soon became very clear to him.

"En-rollment confirmation for Highley Junior Quidditch practice for Harry Potter..."

Harry looked up in confusion.

"I'm allowed to learn Quidditch? In a team? With my own broom?"

Remus smiled and nodded. At first he had not considered it to be such a good idea, not from everything he knew about Quidditch. Of course, it was fun to watch, but he had never been that keen on playing it. And from all he had witnessed during his school days, from all the times James or Sirius had spent another week in the hospital wing because of a Quidditch accident, his conviction of the sport's danger had only deepened.

A painful lump started to build up in his chest and throat, like it always did when Remus thought about his former friends from school, but he successfully forced it down this time. He would not allow himself to wallow in his most painful memories, not on Harry's birthday above all else.

When he looked at his godson and saw the excitement in Harry's eyes he was glad that he had let Janus convince him eventually. Remus realized that he had not answered Harry's question.

"Yes. You'll be learning Quidditch, in a team in Highley, with your own broom. Happy Birthday."

Harry stared from the broom to Remus and back again for some moments, as if he was fighting an inner battle which of them to hug first, then he broke into a huge grin and flung himself at Remus.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Remus laughed and made a couple of steps backward to balance Harry's impact. The smile on his godson's face definitely had been worth the inner battle against his concerns and doubts.

"As I said, you're welcome. I'm glad you like your present. And I think you understand now why you got the Quidditch gear?"

Harry positively beamed and nodded, then freed himself from Remus' embrace and thanked his aunt and uncle equally enthusiastically.

As they made their way back into the house, Remus held Janus back by the sleeve of his robe. When he had the undivided attention of his brother, he again shot him a scolding look that was replied with an expression of mock innocence.

"The Dublin Dragons?"

Remus asked this again as if he had already forgotten the answer to that question. Janus grinned.

"Yepp, the Dragons. Green suits Harry."

Remus raised an eyebrow and tried to will his mouth to stop forming a grin. He failed.

"Thanks for convincing me."

Janus playfully punched his arm.

"Hey, one of us here has to keep the kid's best interest in mind. Just imagine if he went to Hogwarts and had never played Quidditch before."

"Hey, I didn't play Quidditch either and it didn't harm my development. On the contrary, it saved me from spending even more time in the infirmary than I already did."

Janus laughed.

"That's true. You couldn't fly a broom without crashing to the ground. I swear, I've never seen a person with a worse balance in my entire life. But Harry's different, he's a natural flyer."
Remus hit his forehead with his palm as if he had suddenly understood something obvious.

"Oh, that's why he fell of that broom and nearly broke his neck the first time he tried."

"He wouldn't have fallen off if you hadn't confused him with your constant shouting. 'Don't fly so high!' 'Watch out for that tree!' 'Don't fly so fast!' Really, you were behaving like a mother hen."

"Oh, now it's all my fault again?"

"Boys, come in. We want to leave."

Janus and Remus turned to find their father at the door, a scolding look on his face. With a sigh, Remus stepped past Richard back into the house, Janus at his heels. Richard grabbed his older son's sleeve. Must be contagious behaviour, Janus decided.

"Is it really necessary that you start fighting again? Especially about something unimportant like this?"

Richard whispered the words so that Remus and Harry wouldn't hear them. Janus shrugged.

"We weren't fighting. Just bantering a little. You know what it's like, playing the verbal balls to and fro. Normal behaviour between brothers."

Flashing his father a grin, Janus too went back into the house while Richard closed the door behind them. Normal behaviour between brothers indeed. Except from the fact that Janus and Remus were anything but normal brothers.

He went back into the living room to find that everybody was already prepared to leave. Well, everybody except from Harry, as it seemed. He was bent over the couch table, setting up his chess set. Remus was crouched down next to him, without any success trying to tell him that there would be time for that later.

"No, grandpa has said that he would teach me how to play chess. I want to play chess now."

Richard had to smile. He could already imagine what his evenings would look like during the next couple of weeks.

Remus sighed and got up from his crouch. With a wink at his sister-in-law he put up a fake expression of disappointment.

"Well Serena, it seems we have to call up Eric and David and tell them that Harry doesn't want his second surprise. We'll stay here."

At the word 'surprise', Harry spun around in excitement, knocking over all the set up pieces in the process. He had placed most of them wrong anyway.

"Another surprise?"

Remus nodded at him.

"Yes, we had planned to spend the day in London with you and your friends, but I understand if you rather want to stay here and practice chess with dad. I'll call up Eric and David, surely they'll understand. Maybe we can go next year."

Harry jumped to his feet and was at Remus' side within a heartbeat.

"No, please don't call them. I want to go to London, please, let's go to London. Please Remus?"

Remus' grin widened with every word Harry said and at the end of his godson's plea he couldn't stop himself from laughing. Harry watched him with a curious expression.

"You've been making fun of me."

Again, he frowned his nose, and this time Remus found the gesture so endearing that he scooped the boy up in his arms and lifted him from the ground.

"I've been teasing you. Sorry, but I had to get you away from that chessboard. So, ready to fetch your friends and go to London?"

Harry nodded eagerly.

"Eric and David will come with us, too?"

Eric and David were Harry's best friends. Eric was the son of Martin, one of Remus' co-workers at the bookstore, and David lived practically down the street. Both were a couple of months younger than Harry, which meant that they would not attend Hogwarts together in one year, but that was something the boys didn't waste any thought on now. The three of them were inseparable whenever their free time or the Ministry regulations allowed.

"Yes, Eric and David will come with us. As will Janus, Serena, Julia and dad. Is that alright?"

Harry nodded again.

"More than alright."

"Good."

Remus put Harry down on the floor again and affectionately ruffled his hair.

"What are we waiting for then?"

Harry looked for a moment as if he was contemplating this rhetoric question for real, then he grabbed Remus' hand and dragged him towards the front door. Laughing, Remus allowed his godson to pull him out of the room.

"What will we be doing in London?"

Remus gestured Harry to wait for Serena, who had to fetch Julia's baby-bag from the kitchen.

"Well, that's up to you. Dad and I have been thinking up a couple of possibilities and after we've fetched Eric and David we'll let you decide. It's your birthday, after all. We could go to the London Zoo, or to the Maritime Museum,..."

Seeing Harry's frown at the mention of the word 'museum', Remus had to laugh.

"It's not a normal museum. They have an interactive area for children where you can play around with a lot of things. It's rather fun, I promise, not like a museum at all. For lunch, we could have a picnic in the Hyde Park and we'll pretend to be muggles all day long and take the London Underground to get where we want to go. But let's get the other two members of your gang and then we'll decide, alright?"

Harry nodded and after Serena had finally all things together to keep Julia occupied during the day, they left the house and walked down the street to David's house.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Excerpt from the Ministry regulations concerning case A14022/XD1982:

Case of Guardianship for Harry James Potter; Custody given to Remus J. Lupin on October 16^th, 1982 under the following restrictions:

[...]

§ 82: The transfer of custody for Harry Potter to Remus J. Lupin is only granted under the condition that the child Harry Potter is not left without the supervision of at least one fully educated wizard when not being in a protected area. For listings of the protected areas see appendix 4, § 7.

§ 82a: In case that the child Harry Potter will be spending an amount of time longer than one hour in nwizarding areas, the company of at least two fully educated wizards except from Remus J. Lupin is required. A case like this requires registration at the Ministry department in charge of monitoring the custody case at least ten days beforehand.

A list of exceptional cases of emergency during which § 82 and § 82a don't apply can be found in appendix 2, § 1a.

[...]

Please note that any violation of the above restrictions will immediately lead to investigation and re-evaluation of the Case of Guardianship.

Signed:

Cornelius S. Fudge, Minister of Magic

London, October 19^th, 1982.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Christmas didn't take place this year.

Oh, most families celebrated it like there had never been another Christmas before, now with the threat of Voldemort gone, but Richard Lupin had decided that celebrating was completely out of question for his family this year. Not with tragedy so close in the past.

Remus definitely wasn't in the mood to celebrate anything, let alone a family holiday like Christmas, and Janus had not set foot into Richard's house again after their fight in the kitchen some weeks ago. Another thing that bothered Richard greatly.

Of course he had known for years that Remus' lycanthropy was the sore point in their family life, especially for Janus. He had been nine years old when Remus had received the bite, old enough to understand the implications. And old enough to suffer frthe consequences. Moving from one place to another, leaving friends behind every time that people found out about Remus' curse. Janus had done nothing wrong (well, neither had Remus), but he was shunned and chased away all the same. People didn't like their children to play with the brother of a monster.

Maybe Richard and Nadine had made mistakes after Remus had been bitten, but who wouldn't have? One moment, they had been a normal married couple with two normal children, and a day later they found their younger son being attacked in the night, nearly dying of his wounds. Both had been positively devastated at the news that their son now was a werewolf, but they had never even contemplated to give up on him. What had followed had been months during which they consulted every doctor that knew at least something about lycanthropy. They had frantically searched for a cure, for any way to at least make things easier for the five year old boy who was way too young to understand what had happened to him.

Of course Janus had been pushed into the background, of course his needs and problems had suddenly appeared to be minor compared to what Remus was going through. Of course it shouldn't have been that way, they should have continued paying both their sons an equal amount of attention. But unfortunately, there was no handbook of standard procedures for such a case, no guide to advice them how to manage the situation without completely failing.

Of course they had made mistakes, and concerning Janus that had been big mistakes indeed. But Richard had always hoped that, even if Janus couldn't understand it as a child, he would be able to understand it later. How wrong he had been.

The breaking point had been when Nadine had left the family. Richard didn't blame her. It had already been a shock for his muggle-fiancé when he had told her that he was a wizard. Nadine had always been sceptical towards the wizarding world, but had accepted it as a necessity to marry the man she loved. But seeing her younger son turning into a raging predator once a month, raging his body into a bloodied pulp and completely wiping out his humanity for a couple of hours had proven too much in the end. She had left five years after Remus had been bitten, running away with a muggle and leaving her family and the wizarding world behind her for good.

Looking back, Richard realized that he should have paid more attention to Janus from that point on. Should have. It had been his responsibility as a parent. He had failed that responsibility then, now he knew. He hadn't seen how much Janus suffered under their family situation, he hadn't seen how his older son had anchored the blame for all his frustration, hurt and suffering in Remus and his lycanthropy. Richard had been too focussed on getting his life back under control, managing to raise two children on his own, coordinating his work with the lunar circle. No wonder Janus had learned to see the werewolf rather than Remus, his brother. It was far more easy to focus his anger on a dark creature than on an innocent boy who had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Richard had thought a lot about those things ever since he had practically thrown Janus out of the family last month. Again, he had put Remus' wellbeing over Janus', only this time he knew it had been the right decision. The necessary decision. But how was Janus supposed to see the difference between this situation and the many times before when he had been pushed in the background because of his younger brother? How was he supposed to see that he had been blaming the wrong family member all along?

"Dad?"

Hearing Remus' voice from the kitchen, Richard stopped his brooding and looked up. Remus was leaning in the doorframe and looked at him as if he was trying to read his thoughts.

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, but you seemed miles away. I just wanted to ask whether you want some dinner."

Richard got up from his armchair and walked over to Remus, giving him an arm to lean on while walking into the kitchen.

"There's absolutely no way that I let you cook. You shouldn't even be up for such a long time."

Inwardly, Richard was more than glad that Remus had finally started to leave his room again. He had also started eating again, though listlessly and not in large amounts. But Richard was glad about every improvement, no matter how small. The change had come during the last two weeks. Before that, it had been already so bad that Richard had even had to feed his son nourishing potions twice a day.

The first full moon after the murders had been the worst Richard had ever seen. Even if he had doubted the wolf's grasp of the events in Remus' life before, he wouldn't have done it after this night. The wolf had clearly known what had happened in his pack, as Remus had always called his friends. And it had raged because of it.

When Richard had entered the garden shelter after moonset that morning, the smell of blood hat hit him like a wave. Just one look inside the shack had told him more than he had ever wanted to know about the wolf's capabilities when it was angry.

Richard had immediately turned around and retched the contents of his stomach into the flowerbed next to the shelter. The shack had looked as if a massacre had taken place there. There was blood on the walls, on the floor and on the backside of the door. The mattress that had been lying there for two years now, remaining relatively unharmed by the wolf so far, had been shred to pieces, leaving bloodied feathers and pieces of fabric all around the shack. There was no other furniture in the shack, but the dents and splints of wood in and below the walls had shown that the wolf had found something else to let his rage out on. The walls and - Remus.

In the middle of this bloody chaos Remus had been lying, every inch of his body covered in cuts, bruises, blood and dirt.

Fifteen minutes longer and he would have been dead, the doctor had said.

For two days it had not been sure whether he would make it even despite the immediate medical help, and during the two weeks following the full moon he had hardly been lucid and not been able to leave his bed. And because he couldn't keep any food down, Richard had been feeding him nutrition potions.

But during those days after the full moon Richard had realized that Remus didn't want to die, like he had feared he did. He had fought to come back where it would have been easy to let go of the will to live. This development gave Richard some hope that things would turn out to become better if given enough time, but already the next full moon was close and he wasn't so sure whether the wolf shared Remus' will to live.

He pushed Remus gently down into one of the kitchen chairs and then opened the fridge.

"What do you want for dinner?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders.

"Doesn't really matter. Something that doesn't taste like sawdust would be nice, but I guess that's not the food's fault."

Richard sighed.

"Any objections against sandwiches? I don't really feel like cooking, and there's still some chicken from yesterday evening that shouldn't go to waste."

Again, Remus shrugged and so Richard started putting the necessary things onto the table.

While they ate, he watched his son carefully.

Remus definitely needed to eat more, no doubt about that. He had lost a lot of weight during the last weeks, and there hadn't been awfully much of it to begin with.

But first and foremost he needed something to bring the light back into his eyes. He needed a purpose, something he deemed worth living for. Something that would make him laugh again some day. Richard had no idea what this could be, but he was determined to give everything he could think of at least a try.

"Have you already thought about when you want to take up your studies again? Finish the work you've postponed and take up teaching the classes again?"

No, this definitely wasn't something that could gather Remus' interest. His eyes remained dull as he looked up and shook his head.

"Not really. But not anytime soon."

"Then what do you intend to do?"

"What do you mean?"

Richard forced another sandwich onto Remus' plate, fully well knowing that his son wouldn't eat it. Well, you couldn't blame him for trying.

"I mean that you can't go on like this forever. You need to do something, you need to distract yourself. I don't expect you to pick up your life where you left it two months ago, but you need to get out of the house from time to time. You need something that keeps you from brooding, it does you no good."

Remus raised his hand and gestured his father to stop.

"Please don't, dad. I can't have that now. Not the 'you need a purpose in your life' lesson again."

Richard realized that Remus was starting to shut out the world again. But he wouldn't allow it this time, he wasn't sure whether he could manage another month like the previous. He still had one ace up his sleeve, though he hadn't dared to play it before. He didn't know whether it would merely double Remus' pain by bringing back what he so desperately tried to forget, but he had to try.

"Have you considered visiting Harry sometime soon?"

Remus' head shot up and for a moment, for the fragment of a second, Richard thought he had seen his son's eyes light up a little. It was gone as soon as it came, but he had certainly managed to get Remus' interest.

"What?"

"Visit Harry. Your godson. I was just thinking, well...as far as I know he's living with some relatives of his and I guess that he could need somebody he knows to come and see him. After all, he's old enough to realize that all the people he has been used to aren't there anymore."

Remus bit his lower lip. He had tried not to think about Harry ever since he had read that newspaper article about the events at Godric's Hollow. Thinking about Harry automatically led to thinking about James and Lily, and that was something he tried to avoid. He looked up.

"You know perfectly well that I'm not his godfather in front of the law, I only was for James and Lily. I have no right on him whatsoever."

Richard only shook his head.

"I'm not talking about legal guardianship. I'm talking about emotional responsibility. Harry knows you, you're in fact the only person that still binds him to James and Lily. His parents are dead and he's living with some relatives he's never seen in his entire life. I think you owe it to him to at least say hello once. Or goodbye, in case you decide to leave it all behind."

For some long moments, Remus stared out of the kitchen window. The idea of visiting Harry had a certain attraction, Remus had to admit. Just checking that he was doing fine, that he could leave him in the care of his relatives with a clear conscience.

Slowly, Remus nodded.

"You know, I think you're right. I should check that he's doing fine, that much I owe to James and Lily. Just see if he's being treated right and has everything he needs."

Again he nodded, this time a little more enthusiastically.

"I think I'll drop by tomorrow afternoon, just to say goodbye to him. But...do you know where his relatives live?"

Richard shook his head, resisting the urge to smile all across his face. He was fairly sure that Remus would not be able to just visit Harry once and then never again, and maybe some regular time with the little boy would convince him that life wasn't that cruel and fate wasn't that much of a bitch as Remus thought right now.

"I'll ask Professor Dumbledore tomorrow morning, he wanted to come over anyway. He has put Harry there, he has to know where his relatives live."
Richard smiled at his son and his heart skipped a beat when Remus actually smiled back. A short, but genuine smile. The first real smile he had given in what seemed like ages.

"I think I'll go to bed now. Good night dad."

"Night, Remus."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

The next afternoon, Remus apparated into Magnolia Crescent around three o'clock. Dumbledore had at first seemed doubtful whether visiting Harry was such a good idea given Remus' current emotional state and the close full moon, but in the end had agreed that it might rather help him than causing any harm. Before Remus had left, his father had forced him to drink an entire bottle of Pepper-Up-Potion, saying that though he was glad that Remus was up again, he shouldn't take any risk of straining himself too much.

So Remus now approached Nr. 4 Privet Drive with a small package under his arm. It was Christmas, after all, so he had gone to London and bought Harry a present. All of the boy's former possessions had been buried in the debris of his past home and the boy surely could do with something that reminded him of the life he had been used to.

Remus remembered that Lily had more than once mentioned her sister's dislike for anything magical, so he had bought Harry a new copy of his favourite muggle children's book and a stuffed lion that looked very similar to the one James had bought him shortly before he had been born.

But as Remus climbed the front steps of Nr. 4, he started doubting that this visit had been a good idea at all. Surely Harry had already gotten used to his new family, and even though Lily and what was her name...Petunia had never really gotten along, his aunt and uncle surely wouldn't transform that dislike onto their small nephew. Did he really want to interfere into this newly forming family?

But then again he had promised his father that he would come, and he hadn't come here to start being a part of Harry's life again, he had come here to make sure he was alright and to say goodbye.

With this thought in mind, Remus found the courage to ring the bell.

After some moments, the door opened and a tall, blond woman with an incredibly long neck stood in front of Remus. So this was the infamous Petunia. Remus had to agree, she didn't resemble Lily at all. She glanced Remus up and down, trying to find out who he was and what he wanted.

"Yes?"

"Good afternoon. I'm Remus Lupin, a friend of your sister and her husband. I wanted to visit Harry, if that's possible."

Petunia raised an eyebrow and her expression darkened, if that was even possible.

"What would you want to see him for?"

Remus shrugged his shoulders.

"I had guessed that he might miss me. I've seen him quite often before...before it all happened."

"So? Then why didn't you take him in?"

Remus sighed. This was more difficult than he had imagined.

"Circumstances interfered. I'm not allowed to, legally."

Petunia's expression grew more suspicious, as if she was mentally contemplating what this could mean. Maybe she thought that he was a criminal, though Remus couldn't care less at that moment.

"Listen Mrs. Dursley, is it possible that I see Harry? Just for a few moments?"

Petunia slowly shook her head.

"I'm not sure. My husband is not home right now and we don't want him to be visited by...your kind. Not in our house."

"I assure you that it would only be this one time. My intention to come here was to say goodbye to him, but I wanted to see him just once more. Rest assured that I won't be wasting anymore of your time in the future."

Petunia sighed.

"Alright. Keep it short and don't upset our son. Harry is in the living room."

She opened the door to let him in and then gestured towards the door that led to the living room. Remus nodded at her.

"Thank you."

He stepped into the living room and looked around. Not too bad. There were toys lying around, a baby blanket on the floor in front of the sofa and a multi-coloured playpen with loads of stuffed animals was standing next to an armchair. Inside was a sleeping toddler, but one look at it told Remus that this could not be Harry. No way could anybody have fed the boy enough to make him grow to that size in two months. Besides, the sleeping boy had blond hair, not Harry's messy black mane. But then were was Harry?

Remus quickly scanned the room, already thinking that Petunia had been mistaken when his eyes fell into the corner of the room. There, hidden from view by a large, overstuffed armchair, stood another playpen, this one made of battered wood. It looked quite old and instable. When Remus stepped closer, he first thought that it was empty, but then he saw the small figure lying on a blanket in the corner. Except from the blanket and the child there was nothing else in the playpen.

Remus raised a curious eyebrow, but no matter how hard he looked, there was no sign of any toy or stuffed animal in sight.

"Harry?"

The baby didn't move.

"Harry?"

Remus asked louder this time, and the small child slowly rose his head. Remus smiled and waited for his usual greeting that consisted of outstretched arms and happy syllables that somehow resembled his name. But nothing happened. Harry watched him from those unbelievable green eyes, but he didn't stretch out his arms or demanded to be lifted up.

Remus frowned and sat down next to the stall.

"Hiya pup. Don't you recognize me?"

He put his arms into the playpen to lift Harry up, but the baby scooted away a little.

"Hey, what's wrong? You can't have forgotten me after such a short time, can you? It's me, Moony."

The sound of his nickname sounded strange in Remus' ears. He had not heard it being spoken for some time now, ever since the tragedy had happened. But he didn't have time to contemplate about this now as he was starting to get a little worried about Harry. The little boy didn't behave anything like he had done only a couple of months ago. Lily had never stopped complaining that Harry was just as active and restless as his father, he hardly ever shut up or stopped crawling around.

But now he just sat passively in his playpen, staring at Remus.

The death of his parents must have hit him harder than Remus had thought possible for such a small child. But then again, all his family had gone within a couple of hours and surely Harry still didn't understand where they were.

Remus picked up the package from beside him and, opening the one side of the playpen that was movable, held it out to Harry. Though the toddler didn't scoot away this time, he also didn't make any move to take the present.

"I got a present for you, Harry. It's Christmas, surely you know that. Come on, open it up."

Remus smiled down at Harry in an assuring way, but as Harry still didn't make an attempt to accept his present, he loosened one of the tape straps that held the wrapping paper in place.

"Here, I help you a little with opening it up. You've always loved wrapping paper, don't you remember? At your mom's birthday you couldn't get enough of unwrapping things."

This time, Harry's head shot up when Remus spoke, and as he realized because of what Remus inwardly cursed.

"Mommy?"
The unbelievably sad look in Harry's eyes stung in Remus' chest like a silver dagger. Why had he have to remind the child about it?

"Sorry Harry, your Mommy is not here. I'm so sorry."

A tear made its way down Harry's cheek and that was all it took to make Remus pick him up and hug him tightly. At first, Harry struggled against his hold, but after some moments he wrapped his small arms around Remus neck and let himself be hold.

"Shhh, it's alright. Let's open up your present, shall we?"

He put Harry down into his lap and again tried to hand him the package. But Harry only shook his head.

"What is it, Harry?"

"Dudley presents, no Harry."

Remus looked puzzled down at the small boy.

"No Harry, that present is for you, not for Dudley."

"Harry get no presents."

Remus turned Harry in his lap so that he was looking in his eyes.

"Why do you think you don't get presents? It's Christmas, of course you get presents."

Harry only shook his head.

"No. Dudley get."

Running his hand through the tousled black hair that stood up in odd angles like it always did, Remus tried to understand what the small child was talking about.

"Who said you don't get presents?"

"Ptuna."

On any other occasion, Remus would have laughed about the boy's failing attempt to pronounce his aunt's name properly. But this time, he tried everything he could to suppress his anger.

"Petunia said you don't get presents?"

Harry nodded and sadly looked away.

"Why?"

Remus hadn't really posed the question to Harry, he had rather thought aloud. But immediately, Harry raised his head and told Remus why, using only one word. Remus was fairly sure that Harry had not known the word before he had arrived in this household, but Harry pronounced it as if he had already heard it a thousand times.

"Freak."
At that point, Remus decided to have a little chat with Petunia before he left. But now it was time to get that stupid lesson about not getting presents out of Harry's head again.

"Harry, you're no freak, okay? And I'm giving you a present, so you can open it. I want you to open it, alright?"

Harry nodded and started to pry open the wrapping paper, at first carefully as if he expected to get it ripped from his hands any moment, but then as he realized that nobody intended to stop him, his old enthusiasm for wrapping paper got hold of him again and he seemingly enjoyed opening up the two layers of red paper. His eyes lit up in recognition as he saw the contents of the package.

"Dragon don? Rory?"

Remus smiled. Donnie the little green Dragon, or Dragon don as Harry insisted on calling it, was the name of Harry's favourite book. Rory had been the name of his beloved stuffed lion, the name resulting from James' attempt to tell Harry that a lions' sound was called a roar. It was good to see Harry smile again.

"Yes, Dragon don and a new Rory."

Harry looked at his presents once more and then put his arms around Remus' waist into a toddler version of a hug. At that moment Petunia entered the room, surely to indicate that Remus had wasted enough of her precious time. Remus got up from his place at the floor, Harry still in his arms, and made his way over to the stern looking woman.

Deciding that he didn't want Harry to listen to this, he put the boy down onto the baby blanket close to Dudley's playpen. He then turned towards the woman who appeared to be so much unlike her sister that Remus didn't really believe there were blood ties binding them.

Remus fixed his eyes onto hers, fully well knowing that his gaze was intimidating her.

"Would you care to tell me why Harry thinks he doesn't deserve to get presents at Christmas?"

Petunia shrugged her shoulders.

"How should I know why he tells you those things?"

"Because he told me you said that. That you said he was a freak and therefore doesn't get any presents."

Petunia only made a snorting sound.

"He's got everything he needs, I don't know why you're complaining."

"Because you've somehow managed to turn a happy child into a shy one who thinks he's a freak within two months. He's got everything he needs? How about trying a toy or two for a change? He's sitting there in the corner with only a blanket as his company while your son seems to have more toys than he could ever play with."

Petunia only shook her head.

"Those are my son's toys, he doesn't want Harry to play with them. The boy would only break them, or start doing weird stuff. One can never know with your kind."

Remus was nearly speechless, an occurrence that hardly ever happened.

"Our kind? For Merlin's sake, this is a small child we're talking about. He's no different from your son, he's got the same needs than your own child does. Just that he's a wizard doesn't mean that Harry turns your son into a slug with the blink of an eye."

"Listen, Mr. Lupert..."

"Lupin", Remus corrected automatically.

"...Lupin, we never asked for this. The boy was dumped on our doorstep without our consent, and we're already doing more than we have to. We've taken him in, give him a place to sleep, he's got enough to eat and is being taken care of. Just that we were compassionate enough to take him in doesn't mean we've wanted it. We weren't given a choice. If Lily hadn't gotten herself killed in one of your hocus-pocus things there then all this would not have been necessary."

Now Remus was angry. Really angry. Absolutely pissed off. And it was not a good idea to piss off a grown werewolf so close to full moon. His voice low, but full of venom and determination, Remus decided to give Petunia a piece of his mind about her attitude. Reducing the distance between himself and the woman, Remus gave her a glare that would have made a mountain troll back away.

"You didn't ask for it? Do you think Harry asked for it? Do you think he was given a choice? Lily didn't get herself killed. She died protecting Harry's life, giving her own so that he could live. She was murdered without a reason, killed by a maniac just because she believed in something that stood in his way. The child has just lost his parents, he needs comfort and love now, not being called a freak!

If I ever hear you say something like this again, I swear that you won't have the time left to regret it, did I make myself clear?"

Petunia slowly nodded, backing away in fear from the man in front of her. But a loud wail from the playpen behind Remus made her forget the werewolf within a heartbeat.

"MINE!"

Petunia hurried towards the playpen and as Remus turned around he saw Harry holding his lion tightly, trying to protect it from Dudley's pull.

"Mine!" The blond boy repeated. Harry shook his head and only clutched the lion more tightly, tears welling in his eyes.

"No, Rory mine."

Petunia made an end to the argument by pulling the lion out of Harry's grasp and placing it out of his reach into Dudley's playpen. Dudley immediately lost interest in the stuffed lion and Remus was more than shocked to see that Harry just turned around and didn't even try to get his lion back. The boy had obviously already learned that further attempts to get his toy back would be useless.

Remus just went over, grabbed the lion before Dudley even realized what was going on and crouched down next to Harry. He put the toy back into Harry's hand and then pulled the child into a tight embrace.

Without even thinking about it, Remus whispered into Harry's ear.

"Rory is yours, don't let him take it away from you. I'll make sure he won't try it again, okay pup?"
Harry nodded into Remus' shoulder.

"And I'll try everything I can to get you out of here, okay? I'll do everything to get you to live with me, would that be alright?"

Again, Harry nodded. Remus wasn't entirely sure that the little boy understood what he was telling him, but the comfort of the hug obviously seemed to do him loads of good. Remus pulled the child back a little and looked into his eyes.

"But now I've got to leave. I promise I'll come back, but I can't take you with me right now. I'll be back and fetch you, I promise, alright pup?"

Remus kissed Harry's forehead and put him back onto the floor.

"Good bye Harry. Don't let them get you down, alright?"

Harry looked up. When Remus smiled at him, he even carefully smiled back.

"Bye Moo'y."

"Bye Harry."

Turning around, Remus once more stood to face the now furious Petunia. But she didn't scare him in the slightest. With the same threatening voice he had used before, Remus gave her a final advice.

"The lion and the book belong to Harry. If I were you, I'd not try to take them away from him again. They're magical, who knows what could happen if you misused a magical toy? I wouldn't try to throw them away, either."

Of course this was a blatant lie, but Remus didn't care. If he estimated Petunia right, and normally he was quite a good judge of character, then her fear of anything magic would prevent her from taking away Harry's toys again.

"And I'll try anything I can to get Harry out of here as soon as possible. You haven't deserved a child like him, and he surely deserves to live in a home where he is loved. I'd just advise you to treat him properly while he still remains in your care, otherwise you'll get to see my bad side. And I'm sure you wouldn't want that.

Good bye, Mrs. Dursley."

Without waiting for her reply, Remus turned and left the house.

As soon as he had crossed the anti-apparition wards around Privet Drive, Remus prepared himself to apparate home. But he needed to calm down to do that without splinching himself. He had been only inches away from hexing Petunia and taking Harry with him straight away, but fortunately he had been able to restrain himself. If he wanted to get custody for Harry, he'd have enough trouble with the Ministry even without a kidnapping.

But though he had not contemplated the idea of taking the custody for Harry before he had said it aloud, he knew that it would be the right thing to do. Harry had deserved better than that. And now that he had promised Harry, he would not give up on that idea.

Remus apparated home and entered the house, still fuming with anger. Richard was sitting on the sofa in the living room and switched off the television when he saw his son come home.

"Hi Remus, how has it been?"

"Dad, I need your help."

"With what?"

Remus sat down in an armchair and looked at his father. His face was set and showed that he was determined to do what he had on his mind, no matter what the odds were against him.

"I'm going to get Harry out of there."