I Hate Mornings, But That's Okay, I'm Dead Now

I wake up and loath the hour with a passion. I am not a morning person. Unless, of course, I had been partying all night and never really gotten around to going to sleep... you know, preoccupied with doing other... things. In that case, I can bear the morning. But not now. I wake up and the space next to me was empty, of course.

There is only one long, black hair on the pillow. I grab it and throw it out the window. Luckily for me, I am Head Girl, so no one, save for my partner and my self know of my...habits due to the whole private bedroom and bathroom thing. Perhaps throwing it out the window is taking things a bit far, but I'm just the one to take things a bit far. That's me: Lily Evans, Drama Queen, Head Girl, Sorceress Extraordinaire, and Executive Lesbian.

I do the washing thing and the hair thing and the clothego through the gates of hell. That would also be known as "going to school".

I skip breakfast every morning to get valuable sleeping time. Narcissa teases me that I could give up other things to get more sleep, but I tell her breakfast is the easiest to go without. My co-head, Potter, hits on me, yet again. I tell him to bugger off, but he says he'll never give up, not even in death. I tell him I'm already in a serious relationship and have a freak coughing fit when he asks me who the lucky guy is for the six hundred sixty-fifth time. Right now is Advanced Transfiguration.

I know my relationship with Narcissa will come to nothing because neither of our parents would accept us for what we are even though we love each other, and she's been promised to a Malfoy, anyway. The jerk is almost ten years older than us and he was legendary for killing all the kittens in Filch's cat's litter but one with red eyes, which he de-clawed and tortured.

She told me about their engagement party and how he tried to get a cheap feel. She went and made herself throw up afterward and had an hour-long shower. Her dowry is huge. It's like five million galleons and a dragon ranch. She thinks it's because she's ugly, but I keep telling her she's th school.

I swear McGonagall is the only person to notice that is really, really friendly. She actually "had a chat" with me earlier this year and told me she wouldn't tell anyone, and if I needed to talk she was there. She's fairly new, but very good and a little strict. Her long auburn hair is possibly the shiniest I've ever seen and she always wears it down. She's really nice, always smiling and laughing, and she and her husband write back and forth every day. She has to be the happiest person I've ever seen.

I sat in the back next to Narcissa, just behind the "Marauders" (*cough*LOSERS!*cough*), and gave her a kiss on her cheek before anyone could notice.

McGonagall gave us study time in AT, but as Narcissa and I already know the chapter, practically by heart, we talked the whole time. And I tried to teach Narcissa how to use a yo-yo. She saw me playing with one before and is now obsessed with learning to use one before winter break.

McGonagall is more concerned. and we get straight O's, so she has no quarrels with how we spell our free class time. Narcissa threw down the yo-yo and nearly cracked the flooring, and we could barely contain ourselves. We were doubled over giggling when Snape came over. He fancies Narcissa quite pathetically and is sure as shit barking up the wrong tree since his daddy works for Malfoy's daddy.

He nodded at Narcissa and then me, "Narcissa. Mudblood."

"Go to Hell, Snape, and don't call Lily that. Remember, I'm going to be MARRIED in a couple months," she said, waving her left hand with her engagement ring on it in his face. "I. WON'T. GO. OUT. WITH. YOU."

"But-"

"No."

"I-"

"NO. I don't particularly mind you when you're not being an arse. Don't make me owl Lucius." Her face turned a faint shade of green when she said his name and she looked like she swallowed some bile or something after a moment. Snape went away, but the good mood of my raven-haired beauty was gone like ice on a summer's day. She leaned on my shoulder, shaking.

"It's really less than a year. He's disgusting. I hate him. He has no concern for anyone but himself. No matter how scared I am of him that night he'll do as he likes. He probably prefers if I'm scared out of my mind."

We had already talked about her running away, and she wouldn't do anything to soil her family name. Black. She is of that damn "Noble and Most Ancient House of Black".

Being a lesbian would qualify as "soiling". It's her dirty little secret. Not even Bellatrix, her twin sister knows. But Bellatrix is in Slytherin, whereas Narcissa is in Ravenclaw.

This makes things easier to hide because since their arrival at Hogwarts, a rift has grown between them. Bellatrix was promised to Malfoy's best mate, Rudolphus Lestrange, but it was a love match before anything else. Those two are demented enough to never fit with anyone else. Sirius Black's family disowned him, so he's lucky enough to have escaped all this marriage bull.

"So, what are we doing for Halloween? It is this Friday and we haven't made plans." I said, trying to lighten her mood. Didn't work.

"My parents bribed the Head to let me out of school after classes and they're making me go to a party with Lucius."

"Sorry."

"Me too... so what are you doing?"

"Well, I guess I'll just go to the party in Gryffindors common room and drink Butter Beer until my eyes pop out."

The week goes by really fast. Filch almost catches us kissing in a broom closet on Wednesday, but Narcissa casts an invisibility charm on us. I'm thinking about buying an Invisibility Cloak. On Thursday I need a Pepper-Up potion and I worry I'm catching a cold, but the potion takes care of it. I see Narcissa off on Friday and her parents shout at her for being friends with a "dirty little Mudblood".

I go to the party in my common room and someone brought fire whiskey. I get incredibly sloshed on it having a drinking contest with Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew all at once.

Later on I see that Narcissa has somehow escaped that bastard Malfoy's clutches and come to the party. But she cut her hair and it's all messy. Probably just for Halloween. I drag her to my room and then I suddenly wake up with a pounding headache. I roll over to look at the empty space on the other side of my bed where Narcissa would be if she ever stayed in the mornings. I scream as potter stares bacards and grab a sheet to cover my naked body.

"What are you doing here!" I shout at him. I see blood on my sheets and assume I lost my virginity between now and my last memory. He is standing across the room looking confusedly at me. I sink to the floor and he rushes to my side. I am sobbing.

"What happened?" I ask him.

He shakes his head. "I don't know. We both drank a lot."

"Get out," I whisper. I look up a minute later and he is gone. I hate him now and he knows and can't blame me.

The weeks go by and I feel sick in the mornings. I miss my period and start getting scared. Potter and I haven't spoken since the incident. I know he wouldn't have used a condom since we were totally now about them, being as they don't exist in the Wizarding world.

This weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend and I tell Narcissa I have to go visit my parents. I go to a Muggle drug store and buy a pregnancy test. I go back to school and pee on the stick and the thing turns blue. Shit.