The Sorrow That Comes With It

Progress was slow. One day, Remus was smiling and laughing, only to go back to his old depressed self again the next. At times, days passed without Hermione being able to reach through to him; days when images from his reoccurring nightmares kept haunting him. He never spoke of them, but some nights, when they had both gone to bed and all else was silent, Hermione could hear him moan and cry through the ceiling. Each time she did, she wished she could go to him, but no matter how she tried, she could never bring herself to do it.

On one particularly grey afternoon, Hermione walked into the kitchen only to find that Remus had fallen asleep at the table, his head resting against his arms resting against the table. He was grunting in his sleep, his body twitching. On one hand, she was glad to see that he was getting some sleep, but on the other, she wanted to wake him up before the nightmares began and she didn't quite know which impulse to act on. Fortunately for her, she didn't have to make that decision, since she accidentally bumped against one of the chairs on her way out, making a loud scratching noise against the floor which woke Remus with a start.

He drowsily looked around and licked his lips.

"I'm so sorry!"

"No, no, it's alright," replied Remus, rubbing his eyes as he yawned. He straightened out his back and sat up in the chair, stretching out his arms over his head so that a piece of his stomach was revealed underneath his shirt. Hermione pretended she didn't notice.

"Do you want me to make some tea?" she asked. Remus nodded.

As she went over to the stove, Remus continued to, limb by limb, wake up his body.

"Hermione," he said, as she poured him some tea and sat down opposite him, "have I thanked you for helping me around here?"

Hermione shrugged, smiling.

"The difference since you got here is amazing. This place really needed some cleaning, and I simply haven't cared to do anything since I got here. But you... you've really changed this place. And I want you to know how thankful I am for that. And for all the other things as well; making dinner every day and all that. It's a very kind and unselfish thing to do."

"It's nothing," she blushed, "I'm merely doing for my friend what, hopefully, my friend would do for me if I needed it."

Remus smiled gently.

"It feels good to have you around. It's nice to not be alone all day long. Since Sirius, since he - passed away - I have been feeling so cut off from everything, sort of isolated. You know? Almost like I was about to vanish off the face of the earth. But now you're here, everything seems a little bit easier."

"I'm very glad to hear that," said Hermione, silently pondering the day she would have to go back to school. Remus was silent for a moment or two, sliding his finger over the edge of his tea cup, thinking.

"It has been very hard on me, all of this. Almost worst than it was to lose James and Lily all those years ago. It seems, now I have absolutely nothing left to live for. I know it sounds cruel, what with Harry and all, but that is how I feel."

"I think it's a completely normal thing for you to be feeling right now. You're grieving. He was your best friend, and you'd already lost him once. Anyone would be heartbroken."

"Yes," said Remus quietly. "I guess they would."

They silently considered each other. Hermione felt happy at the fact that Remus' cheeks were no longer as sunken in, but mostly so because he had finally confided in her. This was a huge step, and she was beginning to feel there was hope for him. The only thing that worried her now was what would happen to him after she'd gone back to school. Would he fall back into his old habits? She wasn't going to be able to look after him for the rest of his life. Somehow, he was going to have to learn to stand on his own two feet again.

Suddenly, Remus leaned forward and reached for her hands, grabbing them and holding them in his own. Looking straight into her eyes with that sad, grey gaze of his, he parted his lips and said: "Thank you, Hermione. So much. Before you came here, I was so... lost. Lost in sorrow, lost in pain. I was counting my last days. But now, you've made me feel that there is a possibility that my life can turn back to normal again. And I can never thank you enough for that."

Hermione's face had turned a bright shade of red.

"Oh, it's nothing, really, I'm glad to do it," she mumbled.

"You are such a kind soul," said Remus, leaning further in to place a dry kiss on her forehead. "Thank Merlin for that."