Life is a Long, Winding River

Life is a Long, Winding River

"Life is full of its ups and downs, its currents and snags, but what shall I do if ever I slip and fall?"

"Never give in to other people, you know. One ounce of human weakness and they have you."

"Have you?"

"They rip you to pieces, all the while laughing at you like you're some freak of nature."

"How can you be sure sir?"

"I am sure because I have seen it many times. Oh yes, many times. My friends suffered, I suffered and all they could do was laugh as they ripped another shred in my soul."

"But, who, what vile creatures do this?"

"Humans, Harry, humans, just like you and me..."

Life had taken its toll on Harry Potter. Only seventeen years old and yet wishing in some strange way that the world would just swallow him up, forget about him, let him live in peace.

Oh, there had been times when he was happy, but what were they now but fading memories, long lost ripples in his ever-increasing memory. Along with the happy, there always came the sad; memories that burnt him and caused him to shudder uncontrollably. The pain was great, nothing could stop it, and he'd tried almost everything.

"Harry, if you think life is so awful, why do many consider it a gift?"

"I don't know Hermione, I really don't know. Maybe they live a life that I've never known?"

"What do you mean?"

"There has to be something more than watching my back in case someone tries to kill me. All my life, I've waited to die."

"And yet Harry, you're still here. You, are a miracle to us all."

"You just say that to make me happy, it doesn't work, you know."

"Harry, you're here for a reason, we all are. It's just that-"

"What? That I'm solely here to avenge the Dark Lord? Is that it?"

"No, don't take that tone with me, please. I'm your best friend."

"I know, I'm sorry, but why Hermione? Can't they just leave me alone?"

"You are here for a reason, you just don't know why yet."

"Yes, yes I do. I'm here to die, to fulfil the dreams of the cowardly human race."

One by one, his moments of happiness had been taken from him, leaving him with bitterness and hatred for the thing that had taken them- his worst enemy... and his lack of understanding of the world.

He now knew that he was a hero, if not in his eyes, then in the eyes of those that admired him. He was their pillar of strength, their last hope; but even then, he'd watched them drown in hopelessness. All because he'd turned his back once too often.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to get out there and do your part?"

"What part is that exactly? To look good, to get sympathy? All my life I've heard people say 'poor child, never even knew his parents'. I've had enough sympathy."

"You stupid git. England needs you - hell, I need you."

"You've never needed me Ron. In fact I've heard you say that you'd be better off without me."

"Yes, I have said that, many a time, whenever I think about how much of a selfish prat the Great Harry Potter has become. Hero, ha. The world would be better off without you."

"I've told you that all along."

"I know you have, but the thing is. You-Know-Who's frightened of you. You have the power to defeat him, you're one of the strongest wizards of our time."

"Power. I have no power. I'm just a pawn in all the Ministry's plans. If they didn't have me, they'd just find someone else whose family Lord Voldemort had ravaged."

"Don't ever call him that again Harry."

"Why not? You can't keep hiding him behind a name that doesn't cause you to shudder."

"But, he's evil."

"I know that, but aren't we all?"

"What do you mean?"

"He was human once too, somewhere in us all, there's that thirst, the want for power and here you are telling me that I have it. Aren't I the same as him?"

He'd joked about it for so many years, if once and for all he defeated the Dark Lord, then what would he do then? His life would have no purpose, but now he laughed throatily. It was a blinding dream, to finally defeat the Dark Lord, but one that sufficed for the people. They couldn't comprehend his reasoning.

At least with Voldemort, they knew what they were up against, but what if Voldemort was killed. Somebody else would step up and take his role in the world, but nobody would know them. They'd be a new force. Life would once again take a right turn and bend back on itself. There was no glory in victory, the only premise was to admit defeat; but still, they refused.

"Harry, life is something we should all cherish. Even I find the time to just relax and allow everything to come as it does. You can always find solace in a lemon sherbet."

"That might be so Professor, but the world doesn't rest upon your shoulders."

"But it does. Everything you see around you, everything. It all depends on me, just as many do on you. We are very similar, and I will note that these feelings you have are quite common."

"You don't understand Professor, no one does. I don't want to be famous, I just want to be myself."

"But Harry, that is you. You are famous. You'd be a different man if everything hadn't happened to you, but the person you are now, is strong and bold."

"I'm sick of the world. I'm sick of playing 'Hero'. I just want to be forgotten."

"If you are forgotten, then all might be lost."

"But all is already lost."

"Not to some Harry, there is still hope in this world."

"So you want me to be someone I hate just to keep others happy?"

Humanity was flawed. There was always too much to worry about and not enough time to fulfil every dream. Harry still remembered them all, all lost now, but still floating through his memories in snippets that just didn't meld together.

"Humans, Harry, humans, just like you and me..."

"You are here for a reason, you just don't know why yet."

You-Know-Who's frightened of you. You have the power to defeat him, you're one of the strongest wizards of our time."

"If you are forgotten, then all might be lost."

But still, his own comments flooded their dreams. Stark, sinister and unforgiving, he'd turned many of their dreams into a nightmare. He'd taken their hands when they needed hope most, but instead, he'd ripped them to shreds, destroying them with his hatred of a world that made no sense.

"But, who, what vile creatures do this?"

"Yes, yes I do. I'm here to die, to fulfil the dreams of the cowardly human race."

"He was human once too, somewhere in us all, there's that thirst, the want for power and here you are telling me that I have it. Aren't I the same as him?"

"So you want me to be someone I hate just to keep others happy?"

Life is a long, winding river. It twists and turns and there is no way to make it beckon to your call. Harry had finally learnt that. The bends were imperceptible, but they were hiding and if you weren't careful, the current could sweep you away. The current had swept Harry away. Driven mad by the eddying thoughts in his mind, he took the final bend, disappearing once and for all.

"Take my hand Harry, go ahead, take the plunge. Don't worry about the world you've left. You've made some wise decisions, but also some hasty ones. Perhaps this one will turn out to be your most famous, but also the worst choice people could think you make."

"I don't care. I just want to forget."

"You can never forget, the pain will drive you on, but then again, you're only human. They all make their fair share of mistakes."