The Last Few Words

I stop writing. My hand cramps. I stare at the words sadly a moment, almost wondering if I should erase them.

I suddenly jump. James awoke a bit earlier and has wrapped his arms around me from behind. I smile and feel relieved - in this day and age, you'll never know what might happen. James glances over my shoulder at my story and descriptions, the papers beginning to stack up now. He unwraps his arms from me and kneels next to the desk, glancing at the papers resting there. I know he reads a particular description, and I bite my lip, unsure of how he'll react. He just glances at me, looking confused and surprised.

"How did you know about Pauline Grahams?" he asks. I laugh. He looks stunned, thinking I was completely oblivious about that blonde-haired, brown-eyed Hufflepuff. I shake my head.

"Dear, you do realize I have associations with Sirius, right? And even Remus attested to that... episode." I grin. I'm playing, and he knows it. I believe he is even relieved. He just shakes his head, still looking a little surprised and muttering about Sirius. I smile and glance at the clock on my desk for the first time that afternoon. Blinking a bit at the time, I frown.

"James, are you hungry? I'm sorry, I've been writing and completely forgot about lunch..." Harry, who is beginning to make sounds of irritation as I'm speaking, interrupts me with a shriek. I groan and continue, "Merlin, I'm out of it today... yes, darling, I'm coming."

I quickly pick Harry up, and I carry him into the kitchen, with James following. James takes Harry to keep him amused while I cook a rather quick lunch. Lunch is quiet until James pauses from his soup.

"Lily, could I read what you're writing?"

I blink. I hadn't thought of that. Then I smile.

"Of course, James. You above anyone else are welcome to."

He smiles back. How little he knows that all he had to do was smile, and I would have given him anything in my power. How I love this man, I think while I gaze at him holding Harry. He finishes and heads out with our baby. I brush aside my thoughts and finish lunch, piling the dishes in the sink to soak. When I walk back into the room, he's already pounced on my papers and I chuckle.

"Now that you couldn't wait, how am I going to keep them in order?"

I shake my head, mumbling something about 'men,' and sit back down with a sigh. I glance at James; he's sitting there trying to keep the papers out of Harry's grasping hands. I bite back a giggle and turn to my inkwell and quill...

~*~*~*~

Kira was standing in the Entrance Hall, hugging her best friend tightly, visibly restraining from crying. Her trunk was packed, her knapsack filled with things other then schoolbooks, and her goodbyes nearly finished.

"I'll write you while I'm gone, don't worry. Merlin, I'm leaving for two weeks and we're getting all teary! Don't give me that look. I have to go now, Lily, I'll see you later," Kira said in a rush, getting a little teary herself. She pecked Lily on the cheek and grabbed her trunk, running off.

When she reached the door, she turned back and saluted. Lily smiled and saluted back. The next moment, Kira ran out the door, disappearing from sight. Lily sighed and turned to walk back up to the Tower, feeling very nervous for no clear reason.

~*~*~*~

I was bored. I remember it very plainly. I didn't really have other friends, even if I could talk to a few comfortably. But none of them were Kira. She had gone away for the Christmas holidays to France. Her parents, being comfortably rich, had insisted that she come with them to a rather large Christmas party in Paris. Kira just scowled when she read the letter, especially after reading that she couldn't bring me along. I think they had used the excuse that I couldn't be there, 'charming all the young men and leaving Kira to be an old maid.' We both knew what that implied; that she was going to be made a match there. I remember the revulsion in her face, but she gritted her teeth and did the part of the dutiful daughter.

So there I was, bored to tears, staring at the Common Room's main fire from a big puffy chair. I had a book in my lap, but even as it was open, I didn't glance at it. My hand was curled up against my chest, fingering the pendant. I was so lost in my thoughts; I didn't hear someone sit next to me...

~*~*~*~

"Enchanting the way fire swirls, isn't it?"

Lily jumped. She hadn't seen James come and sit next to her. She blinked, trying to regain her ability to speak again, and nodded silently. Finally, she spoke.

"Was there something we forgot to discuss in the meeting?"

James stared at her quizzically, shaking his head.

"Nope, why do you ask?" he replied good-naturedly.

"Usually we don't talk much unless it deals with our duties..."

James frowned, and Lily trailed off, wondered if she said the wrong thing. She stared a moment until she realized what she was doing and returned her gaze back on the fire, hoping she didn't look too embarrassed.

"I know," James said softly, making her glance at him again, "I'm sorry too. I mean, those letters of yours were really uplifting, even after I've acknowledged my dad's death for a long time. You had a different perspective, one I could respect and understand. I don't know... I've been thinking about this for a while, when I realized how little we do talk about our lives. I mean, barely anyone knows about my dad, but I just told you... and I didn't know you very well."

Lily blinked again. She didn't exactly understand where this was going. She wasn't exactly shy, just a little closed off to others. Especially guys, since they all seemed to be rather... intimidating. Lily didn't know what to say, so she just glanced at him for another moment, before turning away to the fire again, inwardly slapping herself for noticing how alluring his eyes were with the fire reflected in them.

"I'd like to though. I honestly wonder why we haven't become friends earlier," James said. Lily remained silent; she knew anything she would say would sound insipid and flat. She just smiled and nodded in agreement, dropping her gaze on the book in her lap.

"What's the matter?"

Lily inwardly cringed, knowing this question would be inevitable. Shaking her head, she answered, "Nothing is. I'm just missing Kira a bit, that's all."

James nodded understandingly, allowing the previous discussion to drop and starting on a new one. Pretty soon, he had Lily laughing so hard she nearly fell out of her seat.

~*~*~*~

I wasn't surprised that James was so enjoyable. I knew that already, from our letters over the summer. I was surprised that he'd made an effort to come meet me, Lily Evans, not the Head Girl. Especially after I'd done nothing, just let our little pen-friendship crumble.

I found him to be extremely good company. He must have realized I was terribly lonely without Kira, and made an effort to talk to me more often. Occasionally, his roundup of friends would come too, putting on such an act that I couldn't help but be entertained. To this day, I'm not exactly sure if they did it on purpose or not. Or if they still do it on purpose or not. But that first week passed uneventfully.

Finally, it was Christmas Eve. I remember it snowing, since I got up to open the window of the Common Room and let in a rather annoyed looking owl. I plucked the letter off its leg and rejoiced when I saw it was from Kira. I sat down into a chair by the fire to read.

~*~*~*~

Dear Lily, it began,

It is very dull here in Paris without my best friend. But let me explain where I am, whom I've met, and who I think that my parents wish to set me up with.

The hotel is magnificent. I don't think I've ever been someplace so terribly high classed. I keep glancing over my shoulder, waiting to be told by some damn aristocrat that I should cross my ankles before sitting down. It's irritating, I tell you! I'm not really worried about it, but I know Mum and Dad want me to set a good impression - what would they think if the only daughter was horribly mannered?

Now to the people I've met. There's a guy I met here, first thing, who's actually not bad at all! His name is Mark Thylis, a son of some man who owns some cauldron shops who knows where, or something around that. I didn't really pay attention, I was too busy - and don't you dare laugh - staring at Mark as inconspicuously as possible. He's actually quite cute - brown hair, darker then my own, but cut very handsomely, and his eyes are so gray-bordering-on-black, I'd be sure they'd lead into the depths of his soul. All right, I sound a bit gushy and melodramatic here, but I am really quite taken with him.

His personality is actually the part that makes him so alluring, I think. He's there for the exact same reason as I am, and hates it as much as I do. And the way he talks... did you know, he could talk for hours about the most uninteresting subjects and make them interesting? All right, I'll admit it. I'm babbling. But for some weird reason... I feel connected to him better then anyone else. And don't get offended, Lily, you know I love you like a sister.

The other people were dull. Mark and I haven't seen any other teenagers, I assume they must live in Paris or are housing in a different hotel. There is a kid named Bradley that doesn't leave Mark and me alone though. He must be about nine, and he brags and follows us around everywhere. I suddenly know what it's like to have a younger brother, and I detest it.

Well, darling, I must go get ready for the party. Hopefully there'll be more people to meet there; I don't think I can stand it if there are no other children to distract Bradley.

Your loving best friend,

Kira

Lily smiled. This was so like her friend. She grinned as she remembered the bit about Mark and unconsciously cast her eyes around the room, looking for James. She saw him, sitting with his friends, hunched over some parchment. She smiled again and got up to go tell him, practically bouncing across the room.

~*~*~*~

I remember how happy that letter made me. Knowing Kira had found someone that was potentially a boyfriend - I didn't dare think past that - made me extremely happy. I tried to ignore the little voice of envy in my head, and if I don't say so myself, I did very well. So that evening was very warm and comfortable, before I knew it I was laying on the couch, fast asleep.

~*~*~*~

Lily stood in the middle of a large party. To say standing in the middle would be literal, since she was in the middle of the dance floor, watching a couple dancing. No one seemed to notice her, and she didn't mind. She saw the male dressed in black brush his lips to his partner's cheek and whisper in her ear. The young woman dressed in a dark midnight blue nodded, and he took her hand and led her off the dance floor. Lily followed.

They led her outside to a garden, winded many paths until they found a hidden statue of Artemis, a Greek Goddess aiming her bow and arrow to the heavens, nestled next to the building. The boy - man really - pulled out his wand and tapped the arrow, and a little secret staircase revealed itself from the building. He grabbed the young woman's hand and they skipped up the steps.

They stayed up there for a long time. Lily mostly stared up at the sky, the stars an endless pattern of shapes. Sometimes she would glance at the couple and turn back, revolted, seeing them in full-frontal snogging. She didn't really want to be witnessing this, but she knew somehow that she couldn't go anywhere. Strange enough, their breath was seen in the freezing, threatening-to-snow air, but Lily's wasn't. She wasn't even cold, and it seemed perfectly normal, which made no sense.

Eventually the couple left. Lily followed, as she was compelled to, and they slowly returned to the party. More correctly, what was left of the party that should have been there. As they were walking, the screams began, then the cries of curses. They both seemed to realize what was happening and rushed to the entrance, peering in.

It was chaos. Women were huddling in the corners with their children, trying to calm them down with panicky voices; men were standing in front of them, screaming counter-curses as soon as the curses were thrown from the dark-hooded wizards. Unfortunately, most of the curses consisted of Avada Kedavra. People were dying everywhere, and in one long glance, the woman in dark blue ran as fast as she could across the room to get to her parents. The parents, who were lying sprawled out on the floor with empty eyes. Her cheeks were already streaming with tears, and her friend tried to stop her.

"Kira, NO!"

She ignored him, rushing over - jumping over those bodies, ducking from that curse, slipping from that dark robed wizard's grasp. She made it over, gently tugging on her dead parents' bodies, trying to get them to awaken. Lily had followed her, unnoticed by the others, good and bad, and desperately wished to comfort her. The woman just sobbed over her parents' bodies, ignoring the wizard who stepped up next to her.

"Don't cry, pretty darling. You're going to join them."

The woman looked up at the dark robed wizard, such a fierce depth of emotion in her blue eyes. Her blue eyes had darkened to a deadly sapphire and the strength of emotion - hate, anger, disgust, and sorrow - hung around her like a cloud. The wizard didn't seem to notice this though, and raised his wand.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A green light exploded around the woman, and she fell on her side with similar empty blue eyes like her parents'. Lily was sobbing. But something happened that the wizard didn't expect. His own curse echoed back onto him, and he too fell to the ground, dead. Lily collapsed and began to whimper, "No... no, not Kira... Kira, no..."

James was watching Lily sleep. At first she was very content, almost a smile playing on her lips. Her face would occasionally get a bit of a disgusted look, but it would pass. He returned to his book, and it was quiet for a while. The Common Room was calm because the majority of students away for the holidays, while the remainder of students were mostly silent or talking in whispers. Even Sirius had quieted down to stare at the fire thoughtfully, a rare occasion. But James was surprised when he looked back at Lily.

Her face was pained and she kept opening her mouth as if to scream, but stopped and shut her mouth again. She began to thrash around, shaking her head and waving her arms as if to ward off danger. Then began the whimpering. First it was quiet and hard to understand, but eventually it grew louder. And then the tears began to stream down her cheeks from her closed eyes. "No... no, not Kira... Kira, no..." was heard softly, until her voice gradually grew louder. James decided that she should wake up before she embarrassed herself too much. Walking over to her, he tried to shake her awake.

"Lily... Lily! Wake up..."

Lily emitted a scream, "Kira!" that echoed throughout the Common Room and sat up, gasping and gulping for breath, emerald eyes darting around with fear laced in them. For a moment, she looked disoriented, unsure of where she was. James patted her back and shushed her comfortingly, before she gathered her thoughts and remembered her dream, struggling to maintain her grasp on her tears.

She glanced at James, ignoring the stares of her peers, before jumping up and dashing up the staircase of the girls' dormitories.

~*~*~*~

The dream scared me. Because of its realism, its believability, the frightening chance that it could have happened. So I curled up on my bed, under the warm covers, glancing across at Kira's empty bed, fearing to sleep in case the dream came back again.

I was not looking forward to the next day.