My Immortal Wound

I'm so tired of being here,
suppressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave,
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone.

Evanescence's My Immortal

Lavender sat on the edge of her bed, her eyes frozen on the letter she had in her cold grip. Her blood had stopped cold as she read through the words...

Dear Mrs. Weasley,

We regret to inform you that your husband Ronald Arthur Weasley has been named dead with many others on an attempt on Voldemort. It may have worked, though they were hopelessly out-numbered. Almost all of the wizards who were with him died. He fought valiantly, though a sword stuck through him. He was dead while he walked. He had the last burst of adrenaline before he was captured by Voldemort, and killed. He succeeded in killing two Death Eaters before his disappearance, one of them Bellatrix Black. We-

Lavender let the letter fall as she shook violently. She knew that once Voldemort had you in his clutches, he would not let go. And so he hadn't.

These wounds won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

She fell back onto her bed, and looked at the canopy of it, the droop in the curtains. Oh look, a bird. She thought of anything to get her mind away from what was going on. She searched frantically, as unwanted memories zoomed through her head:

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,

When Hermione died...

"Ron, calm down! It's not your faul-"

"Don't say that to me Lavender! I don't want to hear it!" Ron paced the dining room angrily, throwing things to the floor. He saw a picture; him and Lavender, Harry and Ginny, and Hermione, all by herself. He looked at it tenderly for a moment, then fire blazed in his eyes as he knocked it down. Lavender went to pick up the pieces of glass, but Ron whirled around.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked.

"Nothing..." she said, and kept her eyes down. Ron, in a fit of rage, smacked her across her face. Lavender looked at him, her eyes full of tears.

"Maybe you should have married Hermione." She said, and ran from the house.

It was raining. Ron chased after her in the car, and she had collapsed into his arms.

He never hit her again.

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,

After Ron had had to kill Percy in a fight...

"Ron?" asked Lavender gently, and closed the bedroom door softly behind her. Ron stared at the wall, glaring at it, as if daring it to look back. "Ron?" she asked again, then went down to lie beside him. He didn't look at her, and didn't say anything.

She stroked his hair. "You had to do it," she said. Ron looked at her. "He was my brother. You don't have any siblings, how d'you know what it is like to kill your own fucking flesh? We have the same fucking blood!" he panted. "Lavender, if you'd ever though about anyone about your own fucking self, then maybe I wouldn't be talking like this you bitch!" Lavender trembled. "Ok." She said, and left the room.

And I've held your hand through all of these years,

Through the war years, after all the pain, she though they would survive. Guess she was wrong, now...

"Ron, please, don't go! I mean, it's one thing to go after Death Eaters, but please, going against Voldemort?! Ron, I know you and Harry are filled up with anger, but please, take it out on some Death Eaters! But... Voldemort...Ron, he'll kill you!" Lavender clung to her husband's robes.

"Please, talk Harry out of this plan!" she pleaded.

"Oh, so you think I'm weak, huh?" he asked coldly.

"What? Ron! How could you think that? I love you, I care about you! Can't you see that??" Lavender was close to hysterics.

"Me and Harry know what we are doing." He said, and then Apparated away. Lavender clung to his empty robe, and cried.

But you still have all of me.

Ron had gone, but he had taken Lavender's heart with him. Though he had treated her wrong in bad times, she knew he was hurt, and she accepted it. She loved him even more for expressing his feelings, rather then like some men, hiding under a blank mask of...just, nothing!

You used to captivate me
by your resonating light.
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams.
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me.

Lavender, her memories gone, left her with the feeling that she was missing a gut. Her voice had escaped her body, fleeing from the soon to come insanity she would reek. Lavender screamed now, a new, harsher voice replacing her old soft tone.

No longer would she wake up in the morning, and see the flaming head propped up on his pillow, no longer would her nights contain bliss, no longer would she have Ron, to hold him while he hurt, and to be held while she bled. Her heart was replaced with a vacant feeling, the feeling of emptiness.

These wounds won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

She retched, over and over; it soon was turning to blood. She did not care; she was satisfied at the look of mess on her bed sheets. It was not enough. Her eyes, once full and dancing, were now shrunken beads of brown. She pulled books off the shelf, and tore pages. She ripped at everything, her nails becoming torn. They bled, and the pain only satisfied her; left her hungry for more.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears,
and I've held your hand through all of these years,
but you still have all of me.

She took things and smashed them to the floor, ripped her pillows and flung feathers everywhere. She took vases and pictures, and smashed them to the floor. She stepped on the glass, and scowled with pleasure at the pain as the shards dug into her feet. Right now, she had no other thought in her mind but kill me, kill me.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along.

Exhausted, she collapsed in a heap on the floor. She huddled there, and the tears came. Long, ragged sobs escaped the bloody mess of her face. Ron was gone. He would not come back. And she still cried as darkness fell, leaving her alone on the wet wood, heavy from her sobs.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,
and I've held your hand through all of these years,
but you still have all of me.