Fate

Chapter 33 - It Doesn't Make Sense

If going to Arianna's funeral once was hard, Sirius had no idea how he had been able to handle it twice.

Posing as 'Sirius' dog, with Remus having changed his hair to dark black and his eyes to brown, they had grimly gone to the funeral home and gotten through the ceremony without any of them breaking down. (Though 'Sirius' had trouble hearing people talking to him and seemed preoccupied with fiddling with his ring that Arianna had given him.)

As the group (consisting of Sirius, 'Sirius', Remus, 'Remus', James, Lily, Harry and 'Harry') walked from the carriages back up to Hogwarts, no one quite knew what to say. 'Sirius' was walking a bit apart from the group, head down and hands shoved in pockets, still favoring his right leg and cradling his left arm that was bandaged and in a sling. Sirius, still in Padfoot form, trotted along beside him, looking mournfully up at his younger self, probably the only person in the entire world who knew exactly how someone was feeling at an exact moment.

His ears perked up as he saw James kiss Lily on the cheek and break away from her and Harry, making his way over to 'Sirius'' side.

Relieved, Sirius trotted over to Remus' side, knowing that if anyone would be able to help him at that moment, James Potter was the one.

He watched them out of the corner of his eye for several minutes and saw with great relief that 'Sirius' was talking a lot, something Sirius attributed to James' presence. There was always something about James and Sirius that made them as close, if not closer than brothers.

Just as Sirius finally saw his younger self crack a small smile, everyone's attention was distracted by the large doors of the castle bursting open, a hysterical Madam Pomfrey rushing out towards them.

----

Just when he thought that things couldn't get more complicated, Severus Snape found himself once again under the torture of another bloody headache, memories flooding his head as he managed to make it to the chair behind his desk, closing his eyes tight and gritting his teeth, praying it would pass soon.

As his eyes snapped open, almost a full hour later, he almost couldn't breathe as he searched his mind, taking in the new memories and his eyes going wide as he realized that he could suddenly remember why exactly he had turned. And why exactly he had agreed to become a spy.

Forgetting all matters of the unfinished time travel potion that was still boiling in the cauldron behind him, Severus rushed out of the room, praying that he wouldn't be too late too accomplish what he needed too.

----

"Peter was here."

That was the first thing out of Remus' mouth as he stood in the doorway of the hospital wing, trying hard not to look at the now empty bed that stood in the far corner of the room, it's sheets tangled up and falling to the floor and suspicious drops of red dotting one side of it.

Madam Pomfrey seemed to still be hysterical, no one able to calm her down as she explained over and over that she tried to stop him, that Emily was gone, and that she wasn't able to contact Dumbledore.

'Remus' rushed in, pushing past his older counterpart and rushing over to the bed that three hours ago had been holding the love of his life.

Remus' eyes shut with grief and pain as he watched his younger self glance frantically around the bed, as if he could find Emily underneath the tattered sheets or behind the small bedside dresser.

'Sirius' and James rushed in quickly after, getting to 'Remus' quickly and Remus turned away, giving the three young Marauders a moment alone. Letting out a sigh, he stepped out of the hospital wing, coming up to Harry and Sirius who were currently trying to deal with Madam Pomfrey, trying to get some kind of explanation for what had happened.

"Who was it?" Sirius was saying sharply, holding the older woman by the shoulders and shaking her slightly.

"It was Peter."

Both Sirius and Harry turned towards Remus as he spoke, his voice deadpan as he felt like crying again, but he held the tears back. They wouldn't change anything. Nothing would change what had just happened.

"Peter?" Harry whispered, and Remus saw Sirius' face harden at the name.

"I didn't see him come in," Pomfrey started saying, still sniffing a bit. "I was in there with her the entire time and I did not see any man come in."

Remus walked closer to her. He didn't think he had a menacing look on his face, but the way Pomfrey backed away a bit, made him think that he was making one anyway. "What happened?"

"A man appeared, just appeared in the hospital wing! Like apparation, only there was a loud pop instead of a crack." She glanced at all of them nervously. "I pulled out my wand, but he was obviously prepared and sent a stunner at me instantly. I was able to dodge it and ducked behind my desk. He sent a few more spells, trying to get me around the desk and I tried to hit him with something, but he seemed to have some kind of protection around him." She hung her head shamefully. "He finally must have hit me with something, because the next thing I knew I was lying on the floor and Miss Fairchild was gone!"

She started sobbing again into her handkerchief but none of the three seemed to notice. Remus glanced at Sirius, catching his eye, trying to send him a silent message that obviously wasn't getting across. Turning around, Remus noticed that Harry was staring at the hospital wing doors where James, 'Remus' and 'Sirius' were standing there, having heard Madam Pomfrey's explanation.

"It doesn't make sense."

Remus turned back around as Sirius spoke. The dog animagus looked right at him.

"None of this makes sense. Wouldn't Dumbledore have been able to know if it would turn out this way?"

"Where is Dumbledore, anyway?" James' voice broke in, leaving Sirius' question unanswered, which Remus was highly grateful at the moment.

"And Snape," Harry added. "Weren't those two supposed to be here?"

"Dumbledore was called to the Ministry," Madam Pomfrey explained again, everyone turning to her. She seemed to be getting over her shock of the incident and was becoming calmer, though she was still a bit teary. "I tried to floo call him when I woke up but no one there seemed to know where he is."

"I'm going to check on Lily and Harry," James said quickly, not waiting for anyone's reply as he took off down the hall, obviously fearing for his wife and son's safety without Dumbledore in the school and with Emily having been kidnapped not two hours ago.

Remus turned to Sirius. "I have to talk to you. Now," he said shortly.

"Where's Snape?" the younger Sirius cut in impatiently.

"Here."

All heads whirled to see the older Severus Snape standing a little ways away, wand in his hand, a tear in his robes and an impatient frown on his face. His eyes moved over to the older Sirius and Remus and Harry.

"I have to talk to you three. Now." His words, unlike Remus', left no room for argument.

----

He was surprised that he still knew the way by heart, but he knew that wasn't what was slowing him down. He felt his legs become heavier each time he came closer to Voldemort's lair.

Since his downfall from little Harry Potter, the Dark Lord had never returned to this place, no doubt because some of his "O So Loyal" followers had ratted it out to the ministry to save their own sorry skins. No, Severus knew that this would only be Voldemort's "home" for another two and a half months.

It was situated inside a large wall of cliffs on the edge of Ireland. Severus had never learned their proper name, but he had heard some muggles refer to them as the Cliff's of Moher, whatever that meant.

Reaching the edge of the water, Severus glanced across the shore with disdain. He had never figured out why Voldemort had chosen here. Convenience wise, Ireland was a particularly bad choice for a man bent on taking over England. But Severus knew that the Dark Lord had his reasons (whatever those may have been) and the last person to question them had ended up dead.

He crept silently along the giant wall of rock, going over the steps in his mind.

Twenty paces from the third outcrop.

Fourth indent up.

Tap it twice with your wand,

Third indent to the left.

Tap it once with your wand.

Shallow cut in the shape of a small hole.

Press firmly with finger.

His heart raced faster as the rock wall in front of him shimmered for a second, and then reverted back to normal. Taking a deep breath, he stepped through the now disillusioned wall, thrust into the semi darkness of the Death Eater stronghold of Voldemort's first rise of terror.

Being sure to tap the door sealed behind him, Severus at once darted to the darkest shadows, still not quite trusting his memory. Voldemort had never set up guards at his entrances, merely because the entrances were so complicated to get through that no one could possibly find them in the first place, and the protection charms around the entrance that only allowed people with the Dark Mark to go through.

At least one good thing came out of the horrid mark that Severus still bore on his arm.

His heart seemed to calm down more and more as he crept farther and farther into the caves of the lair, following the faint voices that he heard down the hall in front of him.

He finally reached what the Death Eater's knew as Voldemort's council room, where he called his followers when he had orders or announcements, or was bragging about his latest achievement, whether in the war, or in his ever growing dream of becoming immortal.

Casting a hasty disillusion charm on himself, he crept as close to the door as he would dare, and stayed still, listening to the growing voices inside.

"You've at least proven yourself worthy at something, Wormtail," Voldemort was saying.

"T-thank you, my Lord..."

"And the girl is?"

"She is in the house in D-dingle, my Lord."

"Good. Make sure her body is found by tomorrow morning. I want the werewolf to realize that no one rejects an offer from Lord Voldemort. He would have done better to follow your example, Wormtail."

"Y-yes, my Lord."

"Speaking of which...you have not yet told me of your encounter with your old friends, Wormtail?" Voldemort hissed, obviously angry now. "I assume you were also incapable of that as well?"

"T-they ran off before I could confront them, my Lord," Pettigrew whimpered. "Black was being tortured by his father..."

"And you, Severus. Have you accomplished your task yet?" the Dark Lord seemed to have gotten bored with Pettigrew's whimpering and Severus could practically see his younger self fidgeting under the Dark Lord's glare.

"I'm working on it, my Lord. Dumbledore's making it difficult to extract any information, but I believe I am making progress with him."

Voldemort was silent and the next thing Severus knew, the door had been flung open and Death Eaters started pouring out of the room, conversing amongst themselves in whispers as the room emptied out. The last two out were a shaking, white Peter Pettigrew and a hunched over 'Severus Snape' who, despite what he was trying to convey, looked rather shook up.

Thankful that Voldemort hadn't followed, Severus began to follow his younger self staying in the shadows, the disillusion charm keeping him out of sight and his years of experience with being a so-called "sneak" kept him silent and aloof as he followed 'Severus' through the dark hallways.

A beam of light suddenly shot out from a side hallways, catching 'Severus' in the shoulder unexpectedly and he stumbled back, whipping out his wand. Malfoy, Bellatrix and Lestrange came out of the shadows, frowns on their faces as they all held up their wands to 'Severus'.

Catching his breath, Severus, kept back, not wanting to be caught and held his breath.

"What do you want, Lucius?" 'Severus' sneered.

"We know what you're up to, Severus," Malfoy drawled back, twirling his wand, allowing Bellatrix and Lestrange to keep their own weapons trained on Severus.

Severus could see his younger self panic a bit, before putting up another mask of coolness. "What makes you think I'm even up to something? I'm following my orders, just like anyone else."

"Not everyone is asked to spy, Severus!" Bellatrix hissed, waving her wand, looking very much like she wanted to use it. "And frankly..." her face hardened, "I don't trust you one bit. Who's to say that you'll really be spying for us?"

"I am as loyal a servant as you, Bella," Severus bit back. "You have had your mark no longer than I have."

"That may be true," Malfoy drawled back. "But you always were a little different, Severus. A little...weaker, shall we say? I watched you in school, you know. My parents asked me to keep an eye on you, especially when your parents died."

Severus watched with pride as his younger self kept his temper. His parent's death had always been a sore spot for him, but he knew that now was not the time to flip out about it.

"I didn't need a bloody babysitter," 'Severus' hissed back. "Now or then! You follow your orders, I will follow mine."

Malfoy spell came faster than Severus could blink and he was surprised that it didn't knock 'Severus' off his feet. But 'Severus'' wand did fly neatly over into Malfoy's outstretched hand and at the same moment, Lestrange fired off a slasher curse and Bellatrix, ever her style, complimented it with a Crucio.

Wincing as his younger self hit the ground, Severus only watched as he heard his own screams. He couldn't interfere yet. It was too soon. Something else had to happen.

"You're just a muggle loving fool like Dumbledore," Malfoy mocked as the curse was finally lifted and 'Severus' was left gasping for breath. He made his mistake by stepping a bit closer to 'Severus' who quickly reached out, knocking Malfoy's feet out form underneath him, sending him toppling to the ground.

Severus watched with mixed fascination and fear as Malfoy and 'Severus' struggled for a moment, both earning several punches to the face before Lestrange and Bellatrix intervened. While Bellatrix helped Malfoy stand, Lestrange roughly pulled up 'Severus' only to send him to the ground again with a solid punch to the face.

Blinking, Severus stared as Malfoy, Bellatrix and Lestrange all stood above 'Severus', their wands pointed at him and murder on their face.

Bellatrix seemed to be the most impatient. "Avada-"

Not thinking, Severus hauled himself up, feeling his disillusion charm wearing off as he shot three stunners in quick succession, knocking out the three cold.

"What are you doing here?" 'Severus' asked, a bit annoyed, as Severus reached down, helping him to his feet. 'Severus' reached up, wiping some blood off his face and glaring openly at his older self. "Are you trying to get us killed?"

"So you do believe who I am?" Severus countered back.

"How else could you have gotten in here?" 'Severus' shot back, waving Severus to follow him. "You've got to get out of here before someone sees you. What did you think you were doing? It's not like I'm gonna die if I'm you!"

"That's just the thing," Severus whispered back as they came towards the entrance again, staying aloof and in the shadows. "You would have died."

'Severus' whirled around. "What!?"

"I remember why I decided to become a spy," Severus said, cutting right to the point.

'Severus' narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Why I turn, why I spy, it's all the same reason."

"Yeah, Albus-bloody-Dumbledore," 'Severus' hissed, leading them both out into the open again, under the afternoon sun. "You've told me that before."

"No, Severus," Severus shook his head, "it wasn't Dumbledore."

"It was myself."

---

"Are you mad?" Sirius shot at Snape, interrupting his tale. "What in bloody Merlin is that supposed to mean?"

Remus reached out, laying a hand on his friend's shoulder. "He's right, Sirius, don't you see it?"

"I...I see it.." Harry's disbelieving voice broke in. "I don't want to, but I do..."

Everyone turned to Sirius and he took several short breaths, hardly daring to breathe as the thought came to him as well.

"You're saying....you're saying, we were supposed to come back?" he said quietly.

"Yes, Sirius." They all whirled to see Dumbledore standing in the entrance to the Room of Requirement. "That is exactly what they are saying."