Fate

Chapter 26 - It Was Worth It

"I assume this was your idea?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Obviously Dumbledore is trying to get you to convince me to be a spy. I'll tell you now that it's not going to work."

Severus stopped, scrutinizing his younger self and once again feeling quite...weird. There was no other word for it. This was just a weird position to be in.

'Severus' didn't seem to be intimidated by his older self and Severus could see why. They were both still the same height and seemed to be wearing the same black robes. The only differences that Severus noticed was the years had not yet lined his younger self's face. His accursed grey streaks that were starting to show also set him apart from his younger self.

He racked his brain, trying to think of himself at this age, at this time of his life. He remembered the absolute horror at the first time he had betrayed the Dark Lord and not gotten caught. It had been during a routine raid of a muggle village. He had been instructed to go find the two adults in a house and upon finding them had gotten them to safety rather than taken them to Malfoy or Bellatrix. Claiming they had already gotten away, he breathed a sigh of relief and took his first steps to become exactly the opposite of what he had been.

He raised an eyebrow at 'Severus' and seemed inclined to glare, but could not bring himself to act bitter towards him. "Do you know who I am?"

'Severus' didn't seem to yet share Severus' ideas of common courtesy to one another and frowned, glaring at the older version of himself. "I know who Dumbledore says you are, and those other people in there. Give me one good reason I should believe it."

Severus thought back to his knowledge at this time. If he was correct, he should know by now...

"Tell me, Severus, how much do you know about the Time Redo potion?"

They had begun walking again and though Severus hadn't the faintest idea where they were headed to, he didn't give it much thought. He seemed to be fascinated by the absolute immaturity and cockiness of his younger self. Surely he hadn't been like this?

Matching his earlier expression, 'Severus' gave him a doubtful look. "The one found in Merlin's book? You meant to tell me it actually works?"

"By itself, no," Severus replied. "However, mixing it with Greatest Wish and dropping the date in achieves the affect."

"And you did this?" 'Severus' didn't sound convinced in the slightest. "I did this?" He shook his head. "Time travel is impossible. If you were really me, you would know that."

Severus raised a curious eyebrow. "Why?"

The younger man gave him his most hateful look yet and they both stopped walking. "Why? Why ask me? Don't you know?"

Then it hit Severus and he mentally slapped himself, wondering why he hadn't thought of it before. "The Dark Lord."

"Exactly," 'Severus' sneered, looking him up and down. "The Dark Lord has had me working on a time travel potion for the last year and it's not possible. If it was, I would have found it by now."

Severus narrowed his eyes, getting annoyed with...himself? Was that even possible. "Cocky little Slytherin, aren't you Severus?"

"You would know," 'Severus' bit back, walking away again. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this. You're mad, the lot of you. It was a mistake coming to Dumbledore in the first place."

Reaching out quickly, Severus grabbed his arm, stopping him and holding tight so he wouldn't be able to go away. "I'm beginning to wonder how Albus put up with me at this age. Don't ever call that a mistake." There was more malice in his voice than he had expected, but it thankfully seemed to get the point across. 'Severus' stopped, turning to him with a faint hint of caution on his face.

"So you're a spy now, are you? Sticking your neck out everyday for people like Potter and Black? People who don't even think you're worth being in existence?"

That comment did hit a point with Severus, but he managed to keep his temper in check as he was remembering more and more how hard those first few months were as he was a spy. Merlin, he wouldn't wish that on anyone, but now looking back over the years, not months, he had to admit that it had all been worth it, even if he hadn't seen it way back then.

"There's more to this war than just you, Severus."

"Like who?"

"Albus for one."

"You sound like his bloody lapdog!" 'Severus' growled, ripping out of Severus' grip. "What has that man ever done for me?"

"He hasn't done much for you, yet, but he's done more for me than any person alive," Severus tried to explain, keeping his temper in check again.

"So that's why we turn, is it? Albus bloody Dumbledore does us a favor and we feel the need to repay him?"

"Severus!" Severus reached out quickly, grabbing his younger self again and holding tighter this time. "You've already turned! Can't you see it?"

Silence for the first time in minutes resounded through the hallway and Severus had to hold his breath to keep from shaking. Something was happening in his mind. He was remembering, but not remembering what he was used to remembering. Vaguely he tried to think about what had been the final straw that convinced him to be a spy, and he couldn't recall much more than one day he didn't want to and the next, he did.

His head started to ache softly, but he ignored it.

'Severus' on the other hand seemed to finally have gotten some sense knocked into him and was looking at Severus as if he had never quite seen anything like him before. It was almost like he was in shock.

Severus grinned evilly as he recognized the look, as he had worn it himself on several occasions. 'Severus' realized he was telling the truth. Of course, Severus had no recollection of ever meeting his so-called "future self", but he could imagine that his reaction would be about the same.

"You know it," Severus said in a low, cold voice. "Now I'd appreciate it if you would stop acting like the cocky death eater that I know you're not and listen to me for a moment."

He pushed 'Severus' away slightly, trying to get his temper in check as he began to think about how this was, in essence, him, and he probably had no right to be scolding him. 'Severus' still seemed shocked though, and he just stood there, as if he didn't believe what he was hearing and seeing.

"Listen, you have to understand...." He suddenly felt his throat go dry and he licked his lips. How in the world was he supposed to say this? The next twenty years are going to be hell for you, Severus, but don't worry because it's all worth it in the end.

Right.

"You don't know what all is going to happen in the future. I do. This is the right choice to make."

'Severus' cocked his own disbelieving eyebrow, but did not turn away. "Why should I listen to you? You don't look exactly at the pinnacle of happiness."

The old potions professor wanted to flinch at those words, but he knew they were true and calmly took a breath, trying not to lash out at himself again.

"You're making assumptions when you don't know the whole story."

'Severus' narrowed his eyes. "And you know the whole story? You know exactly how I'm going to change from me to you and you're telling me that's the right choice to make? Somehow I don't see the lines connecting."

"My point exactly," Severus said through his teeth. "You don't see the lines, but I do. They connect, believe me."

The younger man still looked doubtful and he crossed both his arms in front of him and glared at Severus. "So you're saying that you became a spy? You turned.....I turned." He paused for effect. "Why?"

That was the last question Severus wanted to answer at the moment. "I...I can't remember."

"Convenient," 'Severus' hissed out.

"So you're just going to break away from the Dark Lord?! Just like that?!" Severus finally exploded, not able to keep it in any more. "Listen, I know what he does to those who defy him. Ever think that maybe I was thinking of myself when I turned? Ever think that maybe I was saving my own skin when I started to spy?"

"What about Dumbledore?" 'Severus' shot back. "What makes you so loyal to him? I saw you in there. Black and Lupin still seem to annoy you, but you act like Dumbledore's your savior."

Severus kept quiet, racking his brain for the proper response. Unfortunately, he didn't realize that that was as good as a defeat for his ever-so-Slytherin younger self.

"That's something that you have to find out for yourself," his voice shook slightly as he spoke. "But believe me when I tell you that it was worth it."

"All of it?"

"Yes."

----

Harry heard his father knock softly on Dumbledore's door before admitting them both in. He saw Sirius and Remus sitting in front of the Headmaster's desk, an empty chair next to them. Sirius tried to smile at Harry, and Harry gave him a small smile in return, but couldn't manage much more as he thought about the last words his father had told him.

"Dumbledore wanted to just speak to you and Sirius and Remus," James had said quickly as he led him up the headmaster's stairs. "You have to promise me that you'll think about what I said and try to give Sirius and Remus the benefit of the doubt. They're trying Harry. You try too."

Harry had given his father a halfhearted promise before falling silent, contemplating exactly what the headmaster wanted to talk to him about. He thought about Dumbledore's words the night before.

"Do not think that you have made a mistake in coming back. I have been doing some thinking about your predicament, and yours as well, Harry. When next we get the chance, I will want to meet with the three of you to discuss some of your options and some of my theories on the matter."

No one spoke as Harry went over to the empty chair on the side of the room and practically collapsed in it. James had followed Harry and reached over, squeezing his shoulder once. Harry looked up at him, smiling gratefully before turning away. In response, James glanced over towards Sirius and Remus, offering them a thankful smile before going out the door again and leaving the time travelers alone with Dumbledore.

"Harry?"

Out of the corned of his eyes, Harry saw Sirius open his mouth as if to stop Dumbledore, but then close it again. Harry was grateful. Maybe he would get some information out of this conversation, real information.

"Yes sir?" Harry seemed to finally have gotten a hold of himself and was looking at Dumbledore calmly, ignoring both Remus and Sirius as they looked at him uncertainly.

"Have you felt him here?"

Harry felt his heart skip a beat, wondering how on earth anyone knew about that. He knew exactly what and who Dumbledore was referring to, but he had no desire to talk on the subject. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the topic that Dumbledore had called him here to talk about, so Harry nodded briefly, trying to ignore Sirius' downcast face.

"Sirius and Remus have explained a bit to me about your connection to him," Dumbledore explained, "And I have explained a bit to them about the prophecy. Would you like to hear my theory?"

Harry glanced over to Sirius who gave him a small nod of encouragement.

"Please."

Dumbledore leaned back slightly in his chair, but his gaze did not deviate from Harry's. Finally he spoke.

"The Prophecy exists in both times, Harry."

"I know that, sir."

Another pause. Dumbledore seemed to be trying to choose his words carefully.

"In both times, the prophecy tells us that you and you alone can beat Voldemort. If your guardians have been telling me the truth, he seems to have tried to kill you on several occasions already with no success."

Harry nodded stiffly.

"In this time, however, he hasn't attacked you yet, he also has no 'marked you as his equal', as the prophecy also states. Despite these things, there is still a prophecy, and although you are not a part of this time, it is still referring to you."

Harry had to wonder where he was going with this, but he didn't wonder for too long.

"Time and Fate are complicated things to understand, Harry," Dumbledore said gently. "But I, for one, believe that everything happens for a reason."

The thought seemed to strike Harry quicker than ever and he was surprised that he had not thought of it before.

"You think I can defeat him," he said bluntly. "You think I can defeat him in this time line."

"Yes...Yes, Harry, I do."

"But, Professor Dumbledore..." his words shook ever so slightly. This was not part of their plan...whatever plan that might have been, "Even if I do defeat him, in this time line I mean, would that really work? I mean, if I defeat him then in the future when the Harry in this time line is sixteen he won't have any need to go back in time and defeat Voldemort and so he'll never really be defeated-"

"Whoa, Emeralds, don't hurt yourself, there," Sirius said quickly. "You're thinking too far into it."

"Am I really, Sirius?" Harry said back quickly. "You said it yourself; time isn't the most stable thing."

"Exactly, Harry," they both turned to Dumbledore. "We can't know the outcome of everything." The old wizard's blue eyes were sparkling and Harry had to wonder how exactly he seemed to act so calm. "But what we can do is do our best with what we have, where we are."

Harry gulped, feeling a bit more scared but squaring his chin against his fear as he turned back to Sirius. "I can do that, sir."

----

"Pettigrew!"

Peter lifted his head up weakly, trying to fight off the dizziness he felt as he moved. Merlin, how long had he been in here? It must have been a week at least.

"Get up, rat."

A sharp kick in the ribs and Peter winced at the contact, scrambling away as best he could but still not having the strength to stand.

"It's only been a day, Pettigrew. Amazing, isn't it? What Dementors can do when they have a bit of fun?"

Lucius Malfoy's taunting voice shook Peter almost as much as he had when the Dementors had been guarding outside his cell. Only a day? Peter shivered at the thought. If a single day had been this bad, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to stay here indefinitely.

"Get up!"

A rough hand pulled him finally to his feet and he was still shaking as they proceeded to drag him out of his cell. He could make out Malfoy's form walking in front of him and figured that Nott had to be the one that was dragging him. He tried clumsily to walk himself, but it only resulted in Nott grabbing his arm harder. His legs were getting scrapped on the ground, but he decided to stop struggling, deciding that it was inevitable in the end.

Finally he was thrown onto the ground, a door slamming shut behind him. He looked up, shaking as he saw the Dark Lord standing in front of him, several, if not all, of his death eaters standing in the room as well. Peter suddenly started to feel like the small rat that he was.

"Peter," Voldemort purred, "so nice of you to join us."

Peter didn't dare look up. He felt the Dark Lord probing his mind once again and didn't dare fight him.

He could see Voldemort feet as he stood up, walking towards him a bit before stopping and then turning towards all the other gathered Death Eaters.

"The three we are after go by the names of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and...Harry Potter."

Peter shivered at the malice in Voldemort's voice as he said Potter's name.

"Bring them to me...alive."

There was a great whoosh of cloaks and several sounds of disapperation before the room was once again silent and Peter was terrified to be completely alone with Voldemort who leaned down. Drawn by magic is seemed, Peter looked, horrified, into the Dark Lord's emotionless gaze.

"Well, Wormtail...are you ready to prove yourself to me again?"

----

'Sirius' had to blink several times before he figured out where he was. Two more blinks later, he was considering crying out in pain when he realized how much his head was hurting. All he managed thought was a muffled groan, which was enough to bring a frantic James Potter over to his side.

"Sirius! Oh, thank Merlin!"

James pulled him into a quick hug that made 'Sirius'' aching muscles protest just a bit before he managed to pull back.

"Blimey, James! Give the man some room to breathe!"

'Sirius' shook the stars out of his eyes and managed to focus enough to see a pale 'Remus Lupin' grin down at him. He squinted, the throbbing still painfully obvious on the back of his head and without saying anything, he gingerly reached back, startled as he felt a long line of raised skin along the back of his head.

"Oh, right," James' voice broke in again and 'Sirius' turned to him, confused. "Dumbledore said that you would have a scar there. After all, your double does."

'Sirius' followed James' gaze and saw his older self dozing off on a nearby chair.

"Wha - what happened?" he coughed out, wondering why his throat was so dry. A glass of water was shoved into his hand by 'Remus' and he saw both their faces turn slightly grave.

"Well, we're not exactly sure," James admitted. "You've been out for a good two days and....well, the older Sirius didn't want to talk about it."

'Sirius' frowned, remembering what had happened, but most of all, remembering the green light that shot towards him. He coughed in the water, only able to drink a few sips before 'Remus' grabbed it out of his shaky hand.

"Where....where's Emily?"

"She's fine," 'Remus' said carefully. She and I both woke up yesterday." 'Remus gave 'Sirius' a pointed look. "What happened? How in the world did you get us out of there?"

"Long story," 'Sirius' said dryly. "It's not important..." he glanced towards James and then over at Sirius who was still sleeping fitfully in the uncomfortable chair. "Any word on Arianna?" Merlin, he didn't want to hear the answer to that.

"No," James said softly. "Sirius...he said we should wait for you to wake up. It's a lucky thing you did though. You got a letter from your dad today."

'Sirius' turned to James in shock as James pressed a crumpled piece of paper into his hand. He looked at him questioningly.

"Yeah, sorry about that," James said apologetically. "He," he motioned to the sleeping Sirius, "wasn't exactly thrilled when he read it. He wouldn't let any of us read it though. Only you."

Sirius frowned, his head and now his heart pounding heavily as he tensely opened the black parchment.

Son-

You know as well as I do that I have her. I would advise you to not try anything, as I am currently in the Dark Lord's good graces since your brother joined his ranks. I should think you would be ashamed to be outshined by your younger brother, but I supposed status has never mattered to you, especially since asking a filthy mudblood to be your wife. Make no mistake that I will not hesitate to harm her. I won't, however, kill her until you give her death sentence.

Bring me your answer to the basement of 66 Bishop's Mews by Friday.

- Your Father

Everything down to the last two words seemed to ignite the fury inside of 'Sirius' and, following his own example, he crumpled the paper in one hand. As if that wasn't enough, he pelted it across the room, purposely hitting the sleeping Sirius straight in the face.

Sirius jerked awake quickly and 'Sirius' was the first one to catch his eye as he looked up. Sirius followed his eyes down to the crumpled parchment on the ground and seemed to take in the situation instantly. His eyes flew back to 'Sirius''.

"Is that the same note he sent you?" 'Sirius' wanted to shout, but he couldn't.

Sirius could only hang his head in sadness and 'Sirius' finally felt his tears of anger and fear begin to fall.