Fate

Chapter 31 - It Was All Over

Even in the past, Severus felt more comfortable in the dungeons. Something about the darkness and the almost complete escape from the outside world helped him calm down and forget about his life, if only for a moment.

He sat at his desk, well, his desk in the future. It currently belonged to no one, as the last potions teacher had retired at the beginning of the summer. Severus knew that the next person who would sit at this desk had to be him. It had to be...

His mind was still whirling from the conversation with his "younger self". If anyone could have known how that talk went, it should have been him, but he was still at a loss at what to make of it. 'Severus' had left the castle right after, leaving only a strict promise that he would think about it. Severus didn't doubt that he would think about it. He just hoped that he changed his mind in time. Something was going to happen...

If only he could remember.

Pouring himself another drink, his mind drifted back to his real worry at the moment,

"So you're saying that you became a spy? You turned.....I turned. Why?"

"I...I can't remember."

"Convenient."

It certainly had been anything but convenient. The problem was that now, still, he couldn't remember the real reason he changed. Even with the new memories.

He took a sip of the firewhiskey, thankful for once for its burning feeling down his throat.

That had not been the nicest experience. The headache had lasted a whole day and he even blacked out for a moment as he tried to regain control of the onslaught of memories that invaded his mind all at one moment.

He could remember that Dumbledore had done something...saved him? Helped him? The memories were especially blurry around that time and he didn't waste time wondering why. With time travel, who knew what could happen.

But whatever it had been, it was going to happen soon and Severus only hoped that his younger self would make up his bloody mind quick enough.

----

'Severus' gripped his wand tightly underneath his flowing black robes. The tower castle of Hogwarts stood before them, its wards growing weaker by the minute as the Dark Lord had his fun with them. He sneered at the perverted smile on Voldemort's face as he slowly disintegrated Albus Dumbledore's protection spells.

Not knowing exactly how or what the Dark Lord was planning, 'Severus' was merely there for appearances sake. Only a few people had asked him about his whereabouts the night he had gone to Hogwarts, and he had waved them away easy enough.

Voldemort had not been so kind.

'Severus' could not suppress the shiver that ran through him as he thought of the Dark Lord's conversation with him, probably one of the most terrifying moments in his life.

"Do not fail me, Severus. I need a way inside that old fool's resistance..."

The memory was broken as he heard the finally loud explosion and turned to see that the Dark Lord hadn't wasted any time and already had let loose a spell on the now unguarded castle, the dozen or so Death Eaters flowing in behind him.

'Severus' followed the flow, entering the school and looking at his for the first time through his Death Eater mask. Breathing suddenly became uncomfortable.

He heard various laughter and orders being shouted that he didn't pay attention to. It didn't matter, however, since he was pulled along with Avery, Nott and Karkaroff as they ran down to the dungeons.

So they were searching the whole school. Fools.

'Severus' sneered at their idiocy, but followed, whipping out his wand in defense as they came to the first narrow hallway. He couldn't count the number of times he had been down here. This was, of course, the way to the Slytherin Common Room and he had walked that plenty of times. But the potions classrooms were also down this way and those had been his sanctuary through his seven years at Hogwarts.

Nott and Karkaroff began banging the doors open one by one, checking for inhabitants. Avery ran ahead of all of them, checking the hallways. Not knowing what else to do, 'Severus' turned to the door nearest him, blasting it open, not surprisingly finding it empty.

This pattern went through most of the hallway. When they came to a fork in the hallway, they split up, Nott reminding all of them that they were to capture anyone alive, as the Dark Lord was searching for the so-called "time travelers".

'Severus' went down the next hallways alone. It wasn't long, only four doors and a dead end. Never-the-less he opened them one by one, checking inside.

Coming on the third door, he almost jumped back in surprise as he opened to find a wand pointed in his face. Never to be intimidated, he instantly put up a shield, causing his attackers "expelliarmus" to bounce harmlessly away. He was just about to shout a stunning spell, but stopped short at seeing who it was.

It was...him. His older self. The one who was trying to convince him to spy.

The only time traveler that Voldemort didn't know about. Only 'Severus' did.

They stood in tense silence for a full fifteen seconds. 'Severus' didn't know how, but he had a feeling that Severus recognized him as well. 'Severus'' eyes flickered to the desk, seeing a half empty bottle of firewhiskey and an empty glass. He also noticed that there was a steaming cauldron in the corner, curious purple fumes coming out of it with a scent that 'Severus' couldn't identify.

His older self didn't speak. He raised a surprised eyebrow towards him, as if daring him to explain why he was there, dressed in Death Eater robes when both of them knew that he despised the very thought of the Dark Lord.

Shouts from his other three companions forces 'Severus' to make a quick decision so he lowered his wand and without saying a word, turned from the room, practically running away.

"No one down there," he said sharply to the others as they met up in the main hallway. "Let's go back up."

As they headed back to the main level, 'Severus' risked a quick glance back and, sure enough, saw the dark shadow of a man staring after him.

----

Severus watched silently as his younger self ran up the stairs with the other three death eaters.

An attack on Hogwarts? Impossible. Voldemort never managed to get through the wards at Hogwarts. Never. Then how was it that his younger self and his "friends" had been snooping around the dungeons in full Death Eater garb?

Years and years of being a spy had taught him something of stealth and secrecy. Making up his mind, he crept down the dark hallways, following the group and trying to see exactly what Voldemort was attempting to do.

----

'Severus' tried to ignore the fact that they were being followed. He knew it, and he was positive that the others didn't. He tried to remain inconspicuous as he glanced back every so often, but he never saw anyone.

But he already knew who it was. And on the one hand, it made him feel just the least bit safer.

They reached the main level, hearing the commotion from above and continued to climb the stairs hurriedly.

Voldemort had found the others.

----

Severus had heard the commotion from above as well, cursing under his breath as he realized that Voldemort was indeed here. And judging by the familiar shouts from above, he had found Potter.

Even someone who hated Potter as much as Severus did couldn't ignore the facts. He needed help.

Thinking quickly, he took a quick detour to a familiar hidden passageway down the corridor a bit, hoping to make it to the hospital wing quicker than the others.

However, right as he triggered it open, he was met with the most unusual sight.

A disheveled and tear streaked Lily Potter stood right before him, a small child in her arms who appeared to have been calmed with a sleeping charm for no sane human could sleep through the racket coming from the hospital wing.

Lily gasped in horror, obviously not recognizing him as they had not been properly introduced yet, and whipped out her wand defensively.

Severus had never had any particular love for the woman who willing chose to marry James Potter. He supposed that she had been a decent enough person, for a Gryffindor. They hadn't gotten along marvelously in school, or beyond. Nothing to rival the animosity between him and her husband, but it would be a stretch to call them friends.

"Wait!" he said quickly, not in the mood for an unnecessary fight, as they were technically on the same side.

Her eyes narrowed behind her wand. "Who are you?"

"A...friend," he said carefully, "of Dumbledore's."

She was still frowning. "There's Death Eaters running around out there and you expect me to believe that you, someone I've never seen before, aren't any threat to me?"

"Lily," he said through gritted teeth, "there's not time for this. Voldemort's in the hospital wing."

The color drained from her face. "What?"

"Look, I don't have time for this right now," he snapped, pushing past her.

"S-stop!" she called after him, not having dropped her wand yet.

He turned, annoyed.

"Who are you?"

He studied her for a moment, his brain finally catching onto the fact that the child in her arms was none other than Harry Potter. The same Harry Potter, more or less, who was currently face to face with the Dark Lord.

"I am one of Harry's teachers," he sneered, ending the conversation and taking off down the hidden passageway.

After a moment he heard her softer footsteps following behind.

----

By the time they got there, it was all over.

Severus stepped out into the hall, his heart calming down as he saw a group of Auror's binding a few Death Eaters and one of them talking to a tired looking Dumbledore.

Lily came and stood beside him, clutching 'Harry' tightly to her as she surveyed the scene as well.

"What happened?" she whispered.

"Voldemort..."

Severus left her with that, walking away from her and glancing around, looking for something. He passed by a few Auror's who shot him a suspicious look, but didn't do anything. He walked down to the end of the hall, glancing down to the hospital wing again before turning down the corridor.

That's when he saw it. Just around the corner, hidden by a suit of armor, a foot poked out into the open.

He walked purposefully up to it, stopped inches away by a leg lock curse that he didn't have the foresight to dodge. No matter however, as he managed to stay on his feet clumsily and didn't draw his wand as 'Severus' stood up quickly, coming into the hallway.

"What to you want?" He spat, his voice shaking a bit.

Severus didn't move. "You should have left with the others. The Dark Lord's going to be suspicious if you stay away too long."

'Severus' gave a hollow laugh, lowering his wand and tearing his mask off. "No, he won't."

"What?"

"He won't be suspicious," 'Severus said lazily, flicking his wand and releasing Severus' legs. "Because he told me to stay behind."

"What?!" Severus said in confusion.

'Severus' glanced down, gripping his wand tightly, his face dropping. "So tell me, Severus," he sneered the name and looked back up, "did you really spy for Dumbledore, or did you follow the Dark Lord's order?"

The memory flashed up quick as lightning and Severus let out a long hiss, chastising himself.

"He asked you to spy?"

'Severus' gave another dry laugh. "Ask? No, the Dark Lord does not ask." He paused. "You know, I think he knew where I was that day, even though I'm pretty sure I was shielding very well from him..." his eyes darkened. "He told me I could 'think' about it, but he's already given me instructions."

Severus couldn't find words to say.

----

Remus tried to keep the tears out of his eyes, but had to keep reaching up to wipe them away, for they kept coming. He didn't sob, however. He didn't think he had the energy.

His watery gaze moved from the discarded letter on the floor to the closed door in front of him. He was starting to get worried about not hearing anything coming from it.

Upon reading the letter from the 'Remus' and James, Sirius had rushed out of the room, the crumpled letter in his hand, no tears falling down his face. Remus had taken a few moments to collect himself before running after his friend. He had finally spotted the letter lying in front of the Room of Requirement's shut door.

He had only been standing there a few moments when he suddenly heard a loud crash from inside, followed immediately by another, and another.

Panicking, Remus threw the door open rushing inside.

Sirius was standing in the middle of the room (which resembled the Marauder's dorm room in seventh year), wand out as he pointed it at various objects and sent jets of dark red light at them, causing the loud noises.

Remus stood shell-shocked for a moment, the debris flying everywhere.

"Sirius!?" He cried out.

"She's dead, Remus," he said immediately, blowing apart a side table. "She's DEAD!"

The light suddenly was pointed at him and Remus instinctively brought out his wand, blocking the spell.

Sirius didn't seem the least bit affects as he continued to randomly fire around the room. Remus saw tears start to leak out of Sirius' eyes as his spells became more and more erratic.

"Stop! Sirius, STOP!" He raised his hands, blocking the debris from flying into his face.

"SHE'S DEAD!"

Not thinking, Remus rushed up to him, grabbing both his wrists.

"Sirius! Sirius, you've got to stop!" He cried, feeling his own tears coming back. Sirius tried to break his grip, but Remus wouldn't have it. After a moment of struggling, Remus slammed Sirius' hand on the nearby dresser, knocking his wand out of his hand. Both of them collapsed to the ground in a heap.

Remus was breathing heavily, still gripping Sirius' wrists as he heard Sirius start to sob, not longer putting up a fight at all.

Moving his hands up around Sirius' shoulders, Remus pulled him into a tight hug, his own tears starting to fall once again.

----

"Severus? Look at me."

'Severus' looked up hatefully at the older man, daring him to offer advice. Goodness knows he hadn't given very much of it that had been "good" so far.

His older self seemed rather pale and not very good at hiding his current emotion of fear.

"You have to decided. Soon."

"Soon? How soon?" 'Severus' shot back.

Severus sighed, frustrated. "I don't know, but something's going to happen soon-"

"Incase you didn't notice, something did happen!" 'Severus' said, annoyed. "What am I supposed to tell him when I get back? Oh yeah, Dumbledore's already invited me into the Order of the Phoenix and I just had a cozy chat with James Potter while we all had tea and crumpets?" He reached up, ripping his mask off and stowed his wand in his pocket. "Or how about this one: I had a smashing chat with my future self who came back, looking like hell I might add, wanting me to spy for Albus-bloody-Dumbledore!"

Severus didn't seem to have a reply, but did look as if he wanted to punch him in the face. 'Severus' didn't blame him though. He was itching to do the same. What right did this man have to come here and tell him what to do with his life? He had just wanted to break away from Voldemort, get out from under his foot and get out of this bloody war completely. Spying was just as good as putting a knife to his throat.

Huffing in frustration, 'Severus' spun on one heel and began walking down the long corridor, away from Severus.

"You won't regret it!"

He stopped cold, not turning to see Severus' expression, knowing in the tone alone how serious his older self was being. He clenched his fists, willing his life to just erase the last two days.

"No regrets?" 'Severus' turned slightly as he asked the question.

"I have regrets, everyone does," Severus said back carefully. "One of my main ones was joining the Death Eaters in the first place, which I'm sure you already know about, as you feel the same way."

Blast that man.

'Severus' knew that he was telling the truth, if not for his unusually humble tone, but the main reason he had gone to Dumbledore was that he regretted joining the Death Eaters; regretted it now more than ever.

It pained him to think that even years from now he would still carry that regret.

He turned back around so that his back was completely to Severus, and took a deep breath.

Before he started walking away again, he spoke one last time to his older self.

"Tell Dumbledore that I'll come see him tonight."