Green Eyes

You thought you could keep it a secret. You thought you could sink into the shadows, fade away from everyone's eye. You should have known you couldn't--not when he didn't love you. You had to make him, but every time you tried, she was around.

You knew he loved her. And deep down, you knew he always would. But that didn't change anything. You still would have loved him.

It was a bittersweet love, wasn't it? When you were alone and could pretend that he really loved you, but was to scared to admit it, it was heaven. But when you went back into the real world, just for a glimpse of him, you knew it wasn't so. He loved her.

You hated her.

Hated her with her green eyes. Hated her red hair. Hated how pretty she was. Hated how he loved her.

But he was perfection. Every time you thought of him, you were smiling, though no one could tell as your hair was falling in your face. You tormented him so that you could see and talk to him. You wanted him to see past outward appearance and want to love you, too.

Maybe you would have had a chance.

But you called her a Mudblood.

She stuck up for you, but you wished she didn't. You didn't want the girl that he loved helping you out. She sure wasn't helping you any, not with anything important.

And so you kept silent. You continued to torment, hex, and scorn him. You kept up appearance with perfection.

You attended his wedding. For the Order, you said. To make sure the Order didn't lose another Auror.

But really you were there to try to stop it.

The priest said the line. James looked out into the crowd, daring anyone to stop him from marrying. You saw his gaze rest on you, and you saw as his eyes gave you the message.

Get the hell out of my wedding, Snivellus.

And so you didn't say anything at all. You could see the way his face softened as he looked at her. You could see that he loved her, that he was happy.

You wanted him to be happy, even you had to suffer.

When he died...when he was killed...you did, too. It was easier to hate and harder to love. So you hated everyone, loved no one, and numbed.

When he came to school--the very moment he entered the Great Hall--you fell in love with him, because you pretended he was James. You pretended that James had come back as a child, come back so you could have another chance.

But then you saw his eyes. Green. Like her eyes.

And from that point on, you hated him. He was probably just like her. Probably the damned same.

Green. Green had ruined your life, hadn't it? Green had caused you pain, suffering, hurt, and loss. Green had cost you everything.

And here green was, sitting yards away from you, staring at you with wide, question green eyes.

You looked away.