Seventeen Forever

"Here we are, Potters' Chalet!"

Lily jolted awake, smacking her head against the hand grip and strangling herself with the seatbelt at the same time. Dreams of snoring thunderclaps and ice filled lightning bolts clouded her mind and she shook her head, whisking them away from the other clutter of her thoughts.

"You've been saying that since I was like, five, Mum. It gets a little old after a while," James teased, now wide awake after his mother's exclamation. She snorted.

"You shut your mouth, kiddo. You would've said it if I hadn't."

"False," Sirius called out, "I would've; bitty Jaimy here thinks he's too mature for such things. I, for one, will never grow up."

"Part of your charm, I expect," Keira shot back with a grin at Lily. The corners of her mouth journeyed upward slightly and she returned the small smile.

"It's why you love me the most, right?" Sirius asked, a taunting lilt to his tone. The sound of fist connecting with flesh could be heard coming from the backseat, quickly followed by Sirius' yowls of pain and more punching sounds as the boys swore revenge on each other.

"This is what they were like six years ago, too. I swear they'll be acting like this 'til they're in their eighties," Keira muttered out of the corner of her mouth. Lily's small smile widened at the thought as she imagined the boys as little old men, beating each other with their canes.

The crunch of gravel underfoot added to the symphony of noise inside the car. Lily looked around, grateful for the new surroundings to study instead of the boring grey countryside. A large black iron wrought gate was behind them now, she realized as she glanced in the rearview mirror; they must have driven through it before she had woken up. Large trees shaded the drive, dripping with the rain's residue. Lily looked to the sky; it did not look promising. Something was off, though. They were still driving up the long gravel driveway. Shouldn't they have stopped by now? Off in the distance, she could see a large structure and her heart started to beat a little faster in anticipation. This was not the cute, white wash walled house she had imagined. She gasped when Keira pulled up to the front door, getting a first real look at James' house. Lily had known James came from money; she just hadn't realize it was this much money. Sirius and James quickly tumbled out of the car like young puppies, chattering excitedly while Lily sat in the car, gaping up at the monstrosity before her. There really was no other word of for it--the house was a mansion. Elegantly built, ivy and moss clung to the brick based structure that rose high into the grey sky and sat atop rich green grass, rolling off into what Lily was sure was the backyard of any child's dream. A sloping grey slate roof dipped slightly over what looked to be the second story. Wide windows offered glimpses into the rooms and, from what Lily could see, the interior was also as impressive as the exterior. Ornate marble poles were carved into the sides of the front door, encasing it like a cage. While the others clambered up the stairs, loaded down with bags, Lily hung back, slightly afraid of the extravagance before her.

It was a shock, to say the least. The grandeur and beauty of the house represented everything Lily felt she lacked. Gazing upon the house, she thought about her own home; typically suburban with their light blue shutters based on white wood, sitting on a sizable green lawn fenced in for the girls. Her father had had a small tool shed in the back where he would putter around and tinker in for hours on end during his free time on the weekend. His love for handy work had brought many a broken object back to life with his gift. A small swing set dominated the backyard, standing tall against the eternal maple tree that provided sanctuary and shade during its lifetime. Many a time as a child, Lily could have been found playing up in the branches of the tree or down below beneath the leaves. Lily could picture the scene perfectly; her father in his shed, the girls shrieking with laughter atop the swing set, Petunia petulantly sulking on a lawn chair and her mother carrying out their dinner to be eaten on the picnic table. Her mother; Lily sighed, beginning to feel the tears start up again. She hadn't meant to allow her memories to slide out from under the steel barrier she had created. Now that they had escaped, she could feel them growing in strength, demanding to be relived. She could recall the face of the woman who had taught her, comforted her, laughed with her and loved her for seventeen years. Mrs. Evans' calling in life was to be a housewife, which was a duty she gladly and lovingly performed. She liked nothing better than making a nice home for her family, filling it with good food and good times. Her natural soft spoken ways and gentleness made her, in Lily's opinion, the most perfect mother in the world. She could chase the monsters away at night, lighting up the room with simple happiness and light. Her small gestures of sweetness--making her father a cup of coffee before he rose in the morning, little notes in the girls' lunches as children, staying up at night to listen--all made Lily want to cry at the thought that she would never again hear her mother's voice or feel her arms around her in a hug.

Just as she was about to dredge up memories of the twins, a sharp bang on the window caused her to scream in fright. James was already peeling himself off of the window pane to go beat up Sirius, who had apparently shoved him into the car. He was too quick for James, though, and Sirius sprinted up into the house, laughing all the way. His best friend called out a few choice words before he turned to look at Lily, who was still buckled into the car, trapped by her memories. His expression turned gentle and he smiled at her as he walked over towards her.

"Wanna come in?" he asked in a muffled voice through the glass window.

Without answering, she slowly undid the seatbelt and slid out under it, opening her door. James held out a hand to her and she gripped it as he pulled her up. She stood, looking up at him, her brow furrowed slightly so that it created a tiny V crease that he wanted to smooth out. James's heart lurched painfully just by looking at her; helpless, lost, heartbroken. He pulled her to him roughly, hugging her tightly as they rocked back and forth in the driveway, feeling the first sharp bullets of rain falling from the sky once more.

"Vi and Rosie would've loved this," she whispered suddenly, her voice hoarse and choked. James froze at this unexpected response.

"Oh, Lily," he whispered, his own voice just as raspy. He hugged her even more tightly, hoping the strength of his hug would hold her tears at bay. He could feel her shoulders start to shake as her breathing grew labored, the first sign of a breakdown. Shit, more crying, he thought desperately, looking up at the dark heavens for assistance. He let her cry, knowing it would be better for her if she let it out now. Crying, screaming, ranting; James was willing to let her do anything, so long as she was happy or found some semblance of happiness. The rain was falling harder now but neither paid it any mind as they continued to stand there, hugging. It could have been the same scene as the one that had played out in the station except that tears were now gathering in James' eyes as well. He looked up towards the sky again, hoping beyond hope to find some sort of reprieve for Lily to take away the pain she was feeling.

James coughed gruffly. "Let's go in, come on," he rasped, still trying to dislodge the uncomfortable roughness that had grown fuzzy in his throat. Lily said nothing, so he took her hand and brought her to the front door, their clothing now significantly damper than it had been a few minutes before. He dropped Lily's hand only momentarily to grip the golden handle of the door and turn it, gently pushing Lily forward towards the interior of the foyer.

"Oy. You're wet."

Lily looked up sharply, regretting the decision immediately as her neck twitched unpleasantly at the sudden movement. Sirius stood above her, leaning over the landing that was at the top of a winding staircase she was sure she would trip up at least twice during her stay here. Above him hung a glittering chandelier that twinkled cheerily, swinging ominously as Sirius poked it lazily.

"You always were just so shockingly observant, Padfoot," James drawled, shaking out his damp hair. He turned to shut the door, quickly swiping at his eyes.

Sirius laughed. "There's a reason why we're the brightest in our year, old Prongsie. My observation skills have yet to fail me."

"Merlin, you are weird."

"Like your mum said, it's part of my charm."

Lily listened to the boys banter, following their exchange with her head turning at each comment. Sirius hopped on the railing and slid down, winding down the intricate pattern the staircase created. As he leapt off--gracefully, Lily had to admit--a bolt of lightning cracked deafeningly outside, just as the rolling drumbeat of thunder began to beat against the sky. She jumped, gripping James' arm tightly as Sirius cheered.

"Cocoa! Let's go!" he called, racing off down the hall towards an unknown destination. Lily looked at James questioningly, completely lost. He grinned, leaning in to kiss her for the first time in two hours and twenty six minutes--even he wasn't sure how he knew this; he figured he had an internal Lily-kissing clock or something.

"Come on, the house elves always make cocoa when there's a thunderstorm. Or," he said, trying to offer as many different possibilities to please her, "you can get changed and then we can get cocoa. I expect dinner'll be done by then. It'll probably be spaghetti and meatballs; we always have that when it rains too. We're creatures of habit up here, if you haven't noticed."

"Um. Can I get changed? Please, I mean," she answered quietly, eyeing the treacherous staircase warily.

"Sure, but hey," James protested, gently grabbing her face so she could look at him. Her lips bunched together as he did so and he laughed again, wanting to kiss her forever. "Don't worry about anything, honestly. What's that thing they say...'mi casa es tu casa?' Seriously, anything you want, don't even hesitate to ask. I just want you happy."

Lily looked up at him--not that she had much of a choice--and sighed, knowing she was so incredibly lucky to have James here for her. She stood on tiptoe to kiss him as he quickly dropped his hand to a much better position on her back when he got the gist of her idea.

"Thank you so much," she murmured, her words vibrating against his lips when he refused to let her go. He murmured in the back of his throat, understanding the many different meanings the words held.

Thunder crashed outside again but with James' arms around her, Lily wasn't afraid this time. She did jump, however, when Sirius' booming voice yelled, "Oy, lovebirds. There is cocoa on the table that will no longer be on said table in roughly fifteen seconds if you two don't stop groping each other and get in here."

James laughed, kissed Lily once more and called back, "Might as well drink it, Padfoot; they'll just make more, anyway. I'm showing Lily her room so we'll be down in a few." As he spoke, he took Lily's hand and began walking up the princess staircase with her towards the second floor.

From wherever he was, Sirius wolf whistled cheekily. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Unexpectedly, it was Lily who called back, saying, "That's not saying much, Sirius!"

Silence reigned for a heartbeat as James looked at her in shocked surprise; Lily herself looked rather stunned, as well. Her expression quite plainly read that she wasn't quite sure whether or not she had actually opened her mouth, much less used her voice above a whisper. Sirius naturally rebounded first, breaking into raucous laughter.

"That's my Lily-gal!" he yelled, roaring in laughter. The sound of china hitting marble could be heard as he slammed his mug of cocoa down appreciatively. James too began chuckling good-naturedly, kissing Lily's forehead in a mixture of amusement and joy as he continued to lead her up the stairs.

"We better hurry; he could actually drink the elves dry. I've seen him do it...twice."

*~*~*

Fifteen minutes later, Lily peeked out of her bedroom door. Borrowed bedroom, she reminded herself, as she stepped out into the hallway. James had left her here a few minutes before after he showed her the whole room, promising a speedy return as he too decided to change into more comfortable clothes. Lily honestly didn't care what the others thought of her right now; physical appearances were the last thing on her mind. She had selected her standard uniform of what essentially were her pajamas: pink and black checkered flannel pants that were as soft as tissue from so many washings and a slightly too big, ratty grey sweatshirt that hung loosely off of her thin shoulders.

Feeling a little awkward, Lily sat down against the wall, feeling the very messy bun her curly hair was knotted into give way as she leaned back. She glanced into her room again, nerves fluttering softly like a butterfly's wings. Everything was just so...nice. Spacious and inviting, her room resembled something more appropriate for a resort than a house. Walls painted a pale yellow, the fire that flickered cheerily in the wide stone fireplace painted a myriad of patterns across the room's surfaces. She had mentally sectioned the room off into three parts and this small sitting area reminded her of her dorm at school; plush couches surrounded the little fire in a circle, looking like the perfect place to curl up with a book. Situated in the center, the bed was what next drew the eye's attention. Slightly elevated by a small platform, the bed was circular and topped with a creamy down comforter. A large mound of pillows lay artfully placed at the top of the bed, tantalizing Lily to go see if they were actually as soft as they looked. With a sigh, she looked away from the bed, knowing it would do her no good to sleep right now. She looked to the left of the bed instead, her eyes lighting up once more at the sight. Her girlish fantasies were running rampant as they once again took in the slightly ajar door to the walk in closet, the sleek white bureau and best of all, a veritable vanity positioned near the foot of the bed. With all the cliché of a young girl's dream, the vanity was adorned with a large mirror, white bulbs set against its frame as it would have been portrayed in a Hollywood movie. A private bathroom constructed out of white marble was adjacent to the closet, filled with vials of brightly colored, differently perfumed bath salts she wanted to experiment with by means of bubble bath in the large seashell shaped tub that dipped low into the ground. A more convenient shower stood next to it on its right.

After she gave the room one last sweeping look, she turned her gaze away and yelped. James was crouched before her, studying her silently. For how long he had been there, she didn't know; nor did she really care as she tried to calm her frantically beating heart.

"James! Don't--Oh my God, you scared me," she rasped, putting a hand over her heart.

He leapt back agilely, clinging to the wall opposite Lily. "Sorry, love. It's the Marauder in me."

At that remark, Lily had to smile, if only slightly. "It's alright. You just surprised me," she murmured, tugging herself into an upright position. James stood as well, twisting his torso in a stretch as he did so, his back cracking loudly.

"You're disgusting, you know that?" Lily said, wincing at the sound of his bones snapping.

"To quote Sirius, it's part of my charm," he replied happily, grabbing her hand as he led her down the hall.

They walked the length of a hall, passing different doors as they did. Portrait occupants waved at them as they passed; some began whispering to their neighbors at the sight of their heir with a girl. Lily smiled tentatively once more.

"James," she asked suddenly, as the hallway loomed on, "how many rooms are there in the house?"

"My dad and I counted once," he said, taking a sharp left so that they finally arrived at the winding staircase once more. "I think there were like, I dunno, twenty eight or twenty nine."

Lily's insides shrunk at the idea. "Ah. Twenty plus rooms. I see."

James looked at for a moment, studying her expression with a practiced eye. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied hastily, putting her foot on the stairs as she started to descend down them. James joined her on the step but held her in place.

"You're an awful liar, you know," he retorted, holding her arms by her side. "Really, what's wrong?"

Lily was quiet for a minute, knowing how ridiculous she was about to sound. "You're rich," she finally said. "Really, really rich."

James' expression grew even more concerned, now tinged with confusion. "Wait. What?"

"Twenty nine rooms, James? My house had only handful! It's just--I don't know. I'm out of place. I don't fit in here. It feels so surreal," she finished, drained from her sudden outburst. James didn't answer for a moment and she was suddenly horrified at what she had said.

"Oh my God, that was so uncalled for. I'm so sorry, that sounds so embarrassing and ungrateful and impolite. Oh my God, I'm so sorr--" she started to say, before James squeezed her into a hug, choking off her air supply.

"You can shut up now," he said calmly as she struggled to break free. With a sigh, she went limp, keeping her head down. James pulled her back up to the landing again and held her at an arm's length, as he tried to look her in the eye.

"It's okay," he began, his tone gentle but serious as he attempted to get her to meet his gaze. She refused, so with a sigh, he continued. "Everything's really new, scary and unexpected for you right now. And I get that. You just need to relax, calm down and get settled in. I didn't realize this would be such a shock to you. I should have mentioned something or given you a head's up, so for that, I'm sorry. Let's go get some dinner," he finished, finally smiling. When silence met him and green eyes still refused to look up, he knelt down on both knees and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Please, Lily," he begged jokingly. "Your prisoner is starving. Have some mercy and let him eat."

Her laughter rang out in peals as she pulled him up from the ground and hugged him tightly again. James grinned widely, thrilled that she had laughed--actually and legitimately laughed--and held her close.

"I'm sorry. I'm being silly, aren't I?" she whispered into his chest.

He nodded sagely. "Yup, you're being silly, Lily," he replied as a thought suddenly dawned on him. "Hey, that's not a bad nickname. 'Silly Lily'...I wonder what Sirius will think."

"You wouldn't!" she gasped, her tone filled with mock horror. She got no answer as James deftly untangled himself from her grasp, slid down the railing and sprinted off towards the kitchen, all the while chanting her new name.

~*~*~

"Merlin, Keira, I don't know how you do it. Must be magic or something," Sirius sighed, leaning back a little too far in his chair for Keira's comfort. She pushed him back into an upright position as she walked around the worn wooden table, gathering the sauce covered plates and silverware. James laughed as he stood to help his mother, cuffing Sirius on the back of the head as he too passed by and walked into the kitchen that lay adjacent to what he had told Lily was the "informal dining room."

"Oy, what's with the abuse! And watch the hair, you," he remarked as he also stood and gathered the wicker basket that had once held a loaf of thick crusted Italian bread that had been devoured heartily by the two boys. He leaned across the length of the table and grabbed a jar of grated Parmesan cheese that sat in front of Lily. "Pardon the reach, Silly Lily," he said with a grin.

Lily groaned good-naturedly as she clambered out of her seat. Standing off to the side a little awkwardly, she watched the boys and Keira bustle around the kitchen much like a normal Muggle family would have. Much like her own family had.

Trying to shake the thoughts from her head, she called out, "What can I do to help?" She started to pick up the place mats that were spattered with sauce and remnants of what had once been long strands of spaghetti before James rushed over and shooed her away.

"You're the guest here, you don't have to help," he chastised teasingly, grabbing the place mats himself. Lily protested but he merely silenced her as he pressed a finger to her lips.

"I suppose that invitation doesn't extend to me," Sirius said, handing Keira a plate that she then placed in the magically scrubbing and drying station that was taking place in the sink.

"Haven't I taught you any manners over the years? You live here. You're my son. Thus, you clean," Keira shot back with a laugh and an affectionate hair mussing. Sirius laughed as he danced out of her way, defensively snapping a towel in her direction.

"Ah, the mother-son bond," he said loudly, slinging an arm around his adoptive mother's petite frame. "Jealous, ickle Jaimykins?"

"Yeah, yeah, Padfoot, shove it," James retorted, as he maturely stuck his tongue out at his best friend. He grabbed Lily by the waist instead, leading her over to the granite island that stood in the middle of the kitchen. Airy and spacious, much like the rest of the house, the marble floor and honeyed oak wood furniture gave it a warmth that made Lily want to cozy up, bake cookies and drink tea for hours on end. James pulled out a stool for her to sit on and she leaned her elbows on the island, allowing herself a small smile as the boys bantered back and forth. She could see where James got his quick wit and humor from; it was Keira's subtle yet brilliant comments that had Lily wanting to laugh.

"You fools still use those nicknames?" she asked as one of the house elves--Lily still wasn't sure which one it was since so many had been entering and exiting the room--deposited a large pot of chocolate into her hands. She quickly made work of pouring a fresh batch of cocoa into three mugs and joined the teenagers by the table.

"Keira! I'm insulted! I came up with those clever and witty names, I'll have you know," Sirius exclaimed, his expression pained.

"You came up with Wormtail because that was the easiest one, mate," James said with a laugh. "Let's be honest here, we all know I was the clever and witty one in this situation. Granted, the Animagi idea was also mine."

"Ho, ho, my good man!" Sirius interjected spiritedly. "The idea was ours, if my memory serves me correctly, which I can assure you that it does. Mainly my idea, of course, but what the hell; let's give the bumbling assistant a little bit of feel-good credit."

Keira coughed delicately, eyeing her son. She, of course, knew of the boys' statuses as illegal Animagi and their reasoning behind the desire to become animals; she had actually helped them in fulfilling their quest. What she was unsure about at the moment was how clued in Lily was about the situation. Not to say that she didn't trust her; Keira was still concerned about her emotional state right now, though she had definitely seemed to perk up slightly since the meltdown at the station earlier in the day. Dropping the small bomb about the boys being illegal Animagi, all in the spirit of helping their other best friend who just happened to be a werewolf, would be enough to shock an emotionally stable person, let alone someone in Lily's emotionally precarious state. One thing Keira hadn't taken into consideration was Lily's intelligence, however. The redhead caught the glance Keira had thrown her son and knew what was meant by it.

"Oh, it's alright, Keira. I know all about the Animagi thing," she said quickly. "I know about everything, even Remus' lycanthropy."

Keira's mouth dropped open in surprise and the boys began laughing at her expression, with Lily joining in, though she couldn't help thinking back to that night almost two years ago.

FLASHBACK

"Bozoar. Dammit, I knew that!" a fifteen-year-old, slightly frazzled Lily hissed to herself in the dark Gryffindor common room. The fire flickered weakly, providing more warmth than light as she glared down anxiously at her Potions book. The moon hung high and round in the night sky, basking the room in an eerie, white hue. Distracted from her late night OWL cramming for a moment, she glanced out the large window that overlooked the Black Lake, watching the interesting effect the moonshine had on the lazily rolling waves that rippled on the liquid onyx surface. Her eyes drifted towards the forest, noticing a disturbance. Shapes, contorting and shifting so rapidly she was unable to discern them, were quickly flying across the grounds. Within the blink of a drowsy eye, though, they were gone.

She got up immediately, pressing her nose closer to the glass for a better look. Surely she hadn't just hallucinated; she wasn't that tired. Studying the direction in which the shapes had come, her eyes fell back to another disturbance farther away, towards the Whomping Willow. A small lump of darkness was emerging from the ground, dragging itself out of the earth. Chills ran down her spine at the eerie thought. Another figure, one she hadn't noticed before, was now hurrying towards the little lump that lay huddled by the tree. A surge of maternal instinct rushed through her, strangely making Lily feel as though she should protect whatever lay curled at the base of the now oddly still tree. She watched in silence as the second figure quickly gathered the first in what appeared to be a cloak and began half supporting, half carrying it back to the castle.

So intently was she watching the two shapes make their way back up to the castle, she didn't hear the portrait door open until she heard the voice of the one boy who could, without fail, make her blood boil.

"Padfoot, you and Pete go wait up in the dorm. Pomfrey said he can come straight away back to the dorm since we've got the OWLs tomorrow. I'll double back to the Hospital Wing for the bandages and shit that he's gonna need," James Potter hissed quietly, his voice authoritative. Frozen by the window, Lily listened as Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew murmured their assent. Hoping the self-titled Marauders wouldn't notice her, Lily held her breath, praying they would pass her by without incident. Chubby little Peter walked by her without a second glance, yawning as he reached the staircase of the fifth years' dorms. Sirius and James were hissing to themselves by the portrait hole before the black haired ladies' man stalked by her. She closed her eyes, thinking the coast was clear as she stepped out of the shadow.

"Fuck."

Her eyes flew open at the tone of Sirius' voice. Standing right in front of her, with a death grip on his wand, Sirius was looking at Lily with horror in his eyes. She gripped her Potions book tightly to her chest, staring back into his dark eyes.

"What, Padfoot? I have to go get Moony--"James began, before he too noticed Lily standing in plain sight by the window. He cursed quietly, scrambling quickly over to Sirius' side to stand before Lily.

"What did you see?" he growled defensively. Lily bristled; he had never used this tone with her before and she didn't like it all that much, either. She was a Prefect, for Merlin's sake; if anything, she should be questioning him, she reasoned as she stood up straighter.

"The real question, I think, is what the hell are you lot doing out of bed at such an hour?" she countered, pushing her way through the two boys as she quickly walked back towards the couch where her wand lay. They followed closely behind her, keeping a close eye on the portrait hole. Peter Pettigrew stood unmoving at the bottom of the staircase, warily eyeing Lily in fear.

"That doesn't matter," Sirius said, brushing her question away as if it had been an annoying fly. "Answer James' question, Evans."

"I'm a prefect, Black," she spat angrily, no longer frightened--not that she had actually been scared, that is--as anger took over her. "It would do you good to remember that and to watch your tone. I could report you for this."

Sirius laughed harshly and was about to say something else before the portrait hole opened once more. James and Sirius immediately sprinted over, Peter hustling along behind them as James began whispering with whoever stood at the doorway. Lily stood on tiptoe, trying to see over the bunched together figures.

"Are--are you alright, Moony?" Peter's voice whispered through the otherwise silent room as the Fat Lady's frame swung shut once more. James and Sirius held a slumped figure between them and it nodded weakly in reply to Peter's question.

"Evans. Go to bed," James ordered harshly, tugging Peter over to shield the figure who hung limply between the boys.

"Don't you dare try and order me around, Potter," she hissed angrily as she began to stalk over towards the shadowy entrance. Standing in the moonlight, though, she could vaguely make out the shape between them. Open cuts sliced across his face and an oozing slash of red blood seemed to pulse at the bare shoulder that wasn't covered by the blanket that enshrouded the rest of his body. All at once, it hit her like a sucker punch to the stomach. The tawny hair was easily recognizable, considering it belonged to the fourth member of the little band. She whipped her head towards the window, taking in the sight of the round moon with a new appreciation for its meaning. Her head turned again, looking in fear at the battered face of her fellow prefect, one of her best friends, Remus Lupin, as he leaned heavily on the shoulders of Sirius and James. She realized, with a sudden, shattering clarity, just was standing before her.

"Oh my God," she whispered in horror, scrambling backwards towards the couch and over it, fully intent on running to the safety of her dorm. With a speed she had never seen him display before, James dropped Remus' arm and sprinted ahead of her, cutting Lily off.

"You have to listen. You don't know what this is!" he hissed quietly, barring the stairway with his body.

"Do you think I'm stupid? Of course I realize what this is. Remus is a werewolf, James. Now let me up," she whispered furiously back at him, shouldering him as she tried to push past him. James, unfortunately, was as strong as he looked; he stepped back minutely, but held his ground nonetheless. Grabbing her shoulders, he steered her back over to the couch, avoiding the fists that she threatened his face with and sat her down.

James looked back at his three best friends, noticing the shaking in Peter's knees as the weight of Remus seemed to grow too much. Remus had stopped responding to the boys and situation around him, hanging unconscious between the two.

"Peter, Sirius--take him upstairs, he's passed out. Get him in bed," James said, once again taking on the role of leader. Sirius looked about to protest before James shot him a look and nodded toward the staircase. Silent in agreement, they carried Remus up the stairs and into the dorm, shutting the door quietly behind them.

After watching his friends enter the dorm, James turned his gaze back to Lily, his expression more serious than she had ever seen it in the past five years.

"What the fuck is going on?" she questioned harshly, hating how arrogant he looked right now. With a heavy sigh, he sat down across from her on the table in front of the fire.

"Pretty sure you can answer that one yourself, Evans," he said quietly, staring at his hands.

"So, he's a werewolf; that much is apparent. What I don't get is where you guys come in," she murmured, shooting a look at the fifth year dorm as it opened and shut, revealing Sirius as he loped down the stairs and took a seat next to James on the table. She eyed him angrily as he sat, disliking the cocky attitude he exuded.

"What's it matter to you, though? It's none of your business," Sirius said suddenly, leaning back on the table, eyeing her with distrust.

"It's completely my business as a Prefect to know if students are out at night," she retorted, sitting up straight. "And it's also my duty as a friend if Remus is a werewolf. I care about him, no matter what."

She saw James stiffen at that last remark and she grinned, knowing the idea that she cared about Remus would bother him for weeks on end.

"You don't care about his--his furry little problem?" Sirius whispered in surprise at her. Lily sighed wearily; boys. They would never get it.

"Why should I care? It's not his fault that he has this condition. And that's all that it is; a medical condition. It doesn't change who he is," she explained in a hoarse whisper. The boys looked at each in shocked silence for a moment before Sirius whistled appreciatively.

"Damn, Evans. You have more integrity than I thought you did," he said, patting her leg. She brushed his hand of in disgust, just as James was about to do the same. "What!? I'm just being friendly," he cried quietly, throwing his hands up in surrender.

"Shove it, Padfoot," James muttered, eyeing him. Sirius sighed and leaned back once more.

"I still want to know what you lot have to do with Remus' lycanthropy," she said, changing the subject. Once again, James and Sirius looked at each other, seeming to speak with their eyes.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, the cat--well, in this case, werewolf--is out of the bag," Sirius said languidly after a moment of silence passed. "Listen, Evans--or actually, look."

Standing, he took a step away from the table and closed his eyes for a second before his shape began to blur. James, realizing what he was about to do, jumped up and shouted, moving towards his friend as if to stop him. Before he could do anything though, a huge black dog had taken Sirius' place and sat down, looking at Lily expectantly. She started to yelp in surprise and shock, but James leapt over and covered her mouth with his hand. He moved too quickly, though; he fell on top of her, pushing her back into the couch. Out of instinct and a little bit of anger at being assaulted in this way, Lily bit James' hand and shoved him off of her, rushing to stand up and get away from him.

"Lily, what the--a love bite? Really?" he said, switching his tactics mid sentence. He shook his hand rapidly in pain, but grinned in what he was sure was a seductive manner, nonetheless. Lily groaned angrily and made to go back up the stairs to her dorm. It was too late for this nonsense. She had an OWL exam in the morning and she wasn't going to let Potter and his friends screw her over for it. Once again, though, James stopped her and pulled her quietly protesting form back to the couch, where a now human Sirius sat, laughing hysterically to himself.

"Alright, Lily, alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it--stopping slapping me, woman!" James muttered, as he once again took his seat in front of her. "Listen and I'll tell you the full story, now that this idiot has blown the cover."

And so he explained. He told her of Remus' "furry little problem", detailing how lonely and ostracized he had expected to be when he arrived at Hogwarts. However, his shock at finding friends, good friends, at school finally led him to trust his three friends enough to tell them about what really happened when he supposedly went to visit his sick grandmother every month. James told her how Remus had expected the three boys to desert him immediately, not study to be Animagi so he could have company during his monthly ordeal. She broke her silence at that point, objecting mightily.

"That's such advanced magic, though!" she spluttered, trying to form a cohesive sentence. She was having a difficult time trying to wrap the idea her head that the three boys--the most infamous, annoying, bothersome boys of her year--had managed to achieve fully formed Animagi status.

James laughed. "Well, you saw Padfoot there," he said, nodding towards Sirius who waggled his fingers jokingly and quietly howled. "I transform into a stag; that's why they call me Prongs. And then Pete's a rat, thus, Wormtail. I'd do it now, but I mean...a stag in the common room might not fly, you know?"

She nodded once, letting him continue. His story dragged on, explaining how they helped Remus during his own transformation. Seeing as he was only a danger to humans and not animals, they had come up with the idea of studying to be Animagi with the help of James' mother back in their second year since it seemed the most logical explanation. He then explained that no one, not Madame Pomfrey who assisted Remus each month, not McGonagall, nor even Dumbledore, knew how deeply involved the boys were in Remus' lycanthropy. They were merely under the impression that the boys knew of Remus' condition and helped him in the days following his transformation. Never had they considered that they were out in the night, cavorting around in animal forms.

"Almost blew that tonight, though, you dumb git," he said, smacking a sleepy Sirius across the head.

He growled at the attack and, straightening his hair, retorted, "Oy, not my fault. Pete panicked when he saw Pomfrey coming down from the school earlier than usual. I just took a little...detour, that's all."

"So running into the forest in human form was a better idea than just staying in your Animagi form, you idiot? Honestly, Sirius..." James muttered darkly. "You need to live up to your name a little more sometimes. Imagine what could have happened to Remus or any of us if the school knew about it."

Lily watched the exchange before her, surprised at how seriously James was taking his friend's condition. He was worried about Remus' wellbeing, his other friends' safety and not once had he mentioned himself. James Potter had done something for someone else, expecting nothing back. She smiled a little at the thought, then quickly frowned, not wanting to think well of the boy who had asked her out on the hour, every hour last week. He had resorted back to his usual once a day routine after she put him in a Full Body Bind in frustration. But that wasn't the matter at hand, she thought, as she mulled things over.

"However," Sirius interjected, interrupting her thoughts, "we have a more important matter to discuss." He looked pointedly at Lily, raising a jet black eyebrow.

James turned his gaze back to Lily's, pleading with his eyes. "You won't--you won't say anything to anyone, will you, Lily? This is really super secret and serious and--"

Lily cut him off as she put her hand in the air to stop him. "Honestly, James," she said with a grin, using his first name for the first time in five years, "who'd believe me if I told them there was a stag, a great bear of a dog and a rat running around the grounds with a werewolf every month?"

Momentarily stunned into silence by hearing Lily's voice willingly use his first name, James stared blankly at her until he stuttered, "Uh--well, thanks. Thank you, really. Wow, thank you, thank you so much. I mean, it means a lot to us, to Remus, too. Thank you--"

Sirius dragged James up by his feet, pulling him towards the fifth year dorm as he kept spewing his thanks out to Lily.

"I think you get the point," he grunted, tugging a still blabbering James up the stairs. "Thank you, though, in all seriousness," he said, winking at her.

"Oh, shut up, Sirius. Get to bed and check on Remus. You're welcome, though," she answered, as she too finally took to the stairs to get a well deserved nap.

As they entered their dorm and she entered hers, she called out quietly, "This doesn't make us friends, though! It doesn't mean I like you guys!"

She got no answer, however, and she groaned, imagining how much worse James' annoying persistence and determination would be in the days to come.

END OF FLASHBACK

"Lils, you coming?"

Lily jumped, breaking out of her reverie with a jolt, and looked to where the voice came from. Sirius and James stood at the other end of the room, clutching their mugs of cocoa. James looked at her, worry slighting tingeing the expression his eyes.

"Um, yeah, sorry. Just thinking," she mumbled, clambering off her stool to join them. Keira handed her the mug of cocoa, gently touching her hand to Lily's as she had done in the car. She looked up at the older woman and smiled slightly at her kindness before she joined James and Sirius, walking off into yet another part of the mansion.

~*~*~

"For the love of Merlin, can we please play Truth or Dare? Maguire would play if she were here," Sirius whined a few hours later. Stretched out in front of the fire, empty mugs of cocoa strewn around him, Sirius lifted his head for a second before he immediately dropped back down onto the floor.

"Nothing good ever comes out of Truth or Dare, Padfoot, and you sure as hell know it," James answered with a laugh from where he sat on the couch. Lily lay snuggled next to him, burrowing her body closer to his warmth and that of the blanket covering them. She stretched, as well, pushing her leg into the soft, pliable leather cushions on the couch and sat up a little straighter.

"You could call her," she suggested softly, sleep obviously pervading her tone. James looked down at her fondly, kissing the top of her head when she buried herself into his side.

"On one of those damn Muggle contraptions? You know I have no idea how to work those, Silly Lily" Sirius said, with a laugh. "Don't you remember the time James and I called you back in the summer before sixth year?"

As sleepy as she was, Lily shuddered at the memory as the boys broke out into loud laughter.

"I still don't know or want to know how you got my number," she muttered from beneath the blankets. "No, I mean, FireCall her, you idiots. Like, with the fireplace?"

Once again, Sirius raised his head quickly, surprise written across his face. "Lily, you are the smartest, most wonderful girl I have ever met," he said, quickly scrambling over to the pot of Floo Powder that hung next to the fire place. James and Lily sat quietly on the couch, giggling at the ferocity with which Sirius carried out his actions, almost twitching with excitement at the prospect of seeing Maguire. Lily looked up at James, wondering if he would act this way if they were ever separated. She couldn't give much time to the thought, though, because Sirius was already crouching on his knees, head in the fire, talking to an unseen person.

"Oy, you. No, you're not hallucinating," he said with a laugh, his voice muffled by the brick fireplace. "Listen, call James' house so we can all see you. I'm sure Lily wants to see you too. I'll see you in a second." With a small pop, Sirius jerked his head back out of the fire, grinning widely as he shook the soot out of his hair.

"She's gonna call here," he said excitedly, grinning even more widely as he faced his friends. James laughed, kicking Sirius in the head with his foot so that he fell backwards onto the rug.

"Man, you are whipped like a first year with their first girlfriend," he sniggered, as Sirius continued to grin all the wider.

Lily laughed softly. "Oh, like you weren't?" she asked, thinking back to the first day of first year when James had proclaimed his love for her.

"Damn, Lily! You're getting more and more like us with each passing hour," Sirius remarked proudly. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a new voice.

"What'd I miss?"

"Maguire!" he crowed happily, whipping around quickly so he could scoot closer to the fireplace, where his girlfriend's head sat, bobbing gently in the flames. Etched in flames, Maguire's face broke out into a grin too.

"Merlin, you're a mess," she said good-naturedly, taking in the sight of her pajama clad, soot covered boyfriend. She turned her gaze up to James and Lily, smiling tentatively at her best friend. "Hey, guys. So, as I was saying, what'd I miss?"

"Oh, nothing," James sighed, clambering down off of the couch to join Sirius by the fire. "Amazing food, sex, an orgy or two, more amazing food, cocoa..."

"Cocoa!? Shut the fuck up, you know I love Keira's cocoa!" Maguire cried, pouting at the idea of missing out on her favorite drink. "And you lying prick, I shall choose to disregard the former statements completely."

They all laughed, breaking into conversation at the same time. For hours, they sat by the fire talking and laughing, just as they would have had they been back at Hogwarts, sitting in the Gryffindor common room. However, as only a mother can, Keira stepped in around eleven and ended the fun.

"Come on, you," she called quietly from the kitchen, dressed in a robe. "It's time for everyone to get to bed."

Like children, they groaned loudly in protest.

"Keira," Sirius keened, a well practiced whiny pitch in his voice. "Come on, let us stay up."

She laughed softly, shaking her head. "You'll talk to her tomorrow as soon as you get up, no doubt. You only said goodbye a few hours ago!"

"That's too long, though," Maguire countered, her tone matching Sirius' in its whine. "Pretty, pretty please, Keira."

She rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Alright, you can stay up. But James, put Lily to bed, why don't you. She's already asleep, for heaven's sake."

James looked down in surprise, completely unaware. Lily was, in fact, sound asleep in his lap, just as she had been on the train. He trailed a finger through her hair and sighed, scooping her up gently into his arms.

"I'm sure I speak for Lily when I say I miss you and that we'll see you soon," he said quietly as he walked out of the room. "Come over tomorrow or something, Mags. She'd love to see you in the flesh."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll try. Night!" Maguire called out, watching James carry Lily out of sight. With a sigh of her own, she smiled sweetly. "Lord, he is in love with her."

"Mm, I give them a year before they're engaged," Sirius murmured in agreement, watching James as well. He turned back to Maguire. "You really should come over tomorrow."

Maguire huffed unhappily. "I don't know, Sirius. The house elves..."

Sirius groaned. "Stupid buggers. Fuck them, just come over. I miss you."

"I miss you, too," she whispered, biting her lip sadly. "I just can't ruin things with my parents right now. I know we're fighting, but maybe there's a chance things will get better."

Sirius nodded, knowing Maguire didn't believe her words anymore than he did. "I could always Apparate over to your place," he offered, fervently hoping that she would agree with his idea. But he was let down when she shook her head, sudden fear popping into her eyes.

"I have to go. Someone's coming. I wish you could come, though," she murmured, seeing the disappointment in his face. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied, wishing they were together for the millionth time that day. With one last smile and a small crack, she was gone.

In the dark, quickly cooling room, Sirius sat for a moment, mulling things over, before he rose with a sigh and headed to his room.

~*~*~

In the way that only a teenage boy can, Sirius Black found himself highly bored and in need of entertainment just an hour later. Sleep was no friend to him that night and, since everyone else in their right mind was sleeping, he found himself exploring the house when an idea struck him. Sneaking quietly down the hall, taking the familiar two rights and then a left, he arrived at James' bedroom door. With a grin, he Apparated into James' room, landing on the bed with a thump.

"Sirius, if this is about you missing Maguire and needing some, you have clearly come to the wrong room," James muttered sleepily.

"Prongs, if Maguire happened to walk in and see me straddling you and your bed, well, she might wonder a little bit. But yeah, yeah, fuck off and shut up. In the midst of my many exciting travels of this fine establishment you call home, I have stumbled upon an idea. An idea so extraordinary, so radical, so--" Sirius began, before James cut him off.

"You already know where the liquor is, you idiot."

"Testy tonight, are we. No, Master James, I have decided in all of my immense wisdom that we are going on a Marauder-ish romp. And it's midnight and if I hear right, that's when all good adventures begin. So shove it and get out of bed," Sirius hissed excitedly, taking his own advice as he shoved James roughly out of the bed. Instead of anger, James felt some of the old mischief, like when there was a new prank to play, arise, as he scrambled into an upright position and yawned.

"Alright, lead the way," he said, quietly following Sirius out of his room.

As they crept down the hall, moonlight casting shadows and patterns on the walls that they passed, Sirius whispered, "Where's Lily's room?"

"Keep going down--hold up."

James stopped dead in his tracks and, grabbing Sirius from the back of his shirt, shoved him against the wall, hissed, "Just what are you going to do, Sirius?"

Feigning innocence, Sirius gazed at the ceiling, muttering quietly and completely inaudibly to himself.

"One more time, mate, and clearly this time or I'll ruin that nose of yours."

Sirius gasped in horror, clutching his nose protectively. "I said I just want to see...I don't know...what kind of pajamas Lily has."

"You must certainly did not just say 'I just want to see what kind of pajamas Lily has,'" James asked in a strained attempt to keep his voice low in the silent manor. Sirius looked up at his furious best friend and nodded quickly with a boyish grin, hoping to win him over. Groaning, James ran his hand through his already messy hair and whacked his obviously delusional friend.

"Sirius, did it ever occur to you that she's my girlfriend? My very volatile, emotional girlfriend? And that you also have one?!"

"Pish posh, this is for your benefit! Aren't you the least bit curious? I mean, you guys are going to get married!" Sirius retorted with a suggestive eye wink.

"Oh, fuck off. We already saw them today! She fell asleep in what she was wearing!"

"Then what's the harm if we take a quick peek?"

"What's the point if we take a, quote unquote, 'quick peek'? We already saw them!" James hissed furiously.

"Oh, for the love of all that is holy, you know you want to," Sirius countered hotly. "Hey, hey, hey, what if she's changed, eh? What's that French saying, 'Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir'? Yeah, try that on for size with the Lily-gal," he said with a laugh, clutching the wall for support.

James merely stared at Sirius. "Did you already get into the liquor? You only speak French when you're drunk."

With a shake of his head and what he assumed was a worldly, all knowing smile, Sirius sighed contentedly. "No, my friend, I am just that damned cultured naturally. I can do bad all by myself."

"Yeah, you're totally off your rocker on Firewhiskey," James muttered, cautiously eyeing his friend.

Sirius scoffed cheerfully. "Actually, it was straight up vodka, but come along! Lead the way to Lady Lily's lair. I could totally be a poet, you know."

"Sometimes I really hate how you use your twisted, drunken, insane sense of logic against my hormonally controlled mind, you prick," James whispered as they finally settled the argument and continued down the hall.

"Again, as I have stated many times this day, it is clearly just part of my charm," Sirius said, clicking his heels together in a small jump. James groaned and pushed past his undoubtedly lunatic friend and continued walking.

As they approached Lily's room, James stopped quickly and looked at Sirius, his gaze hard.

"Listen to me, for just once in your life. One look, then we are outta here. And I mean it, Sirius. Really mean it. If you pull something, you are dead. You are deader than...my Puffskein from second year."

"Oh, but of course, my good man. And by the way, I was the one who killed the stupid bugger, not Mrs. Norris."

As James glared at Sirius, determined to settle the score about his Puffskein at a later date, he pulled out his wand, he muttered, "Alohomora." The door opened with a slight creak and Sirius snuck in first, followed by a hesitant James. Immediately, his gaze was drawn to the circular bed in the center of the room, adorned with a mysterious lump in the middle. The two boys stood in the entrance of her room for a moment before Sirius hit the floor and began crawling on his hands and knees towards the bed, motioning for James to follow him. Sighing, he too got on his hands and knees and inched his way across the soft carpet. The lump that was Lily sighed in her sleep and turned over, startling Sirius. He froze suddenly at the movement, ready to Disapparate at a moment's notice and James banged into him, sending them both into a jumbled heap.

"Sirius!"

"What?!" he hissed violently, his teeth clenched shut.

"You dumbass, watch where you're going! For Merlin's sake," James muttered, rolling his eyes and rubbing his now tender forehead.

James had never realized just how big the room was until they finally, after what seemed like an eternity, reached the bed after various, silent scuffles and carefully--carefully--stood up. In the gloom, it was difficult to discern bed sheets from girl for a few moments, but once his eyes adjusted, Sirius immediately shut them in mirth and began to laugh as quietly as he possibly could. James, however, found himself suddenly unable to shut his eyes and could only continue staring at the bra and rolled boxer clad girl before him. The precariously hanging black strap that clung to her shoulder seemed to hold a certain fascination for him.

"I knew she would've changed," Sirius allowed himself to croak out, before stuffing his fist into his mouth again, doubled up in laughter at James' expression. James was silent, staring at Lily in what could only be described as awe.

"Her legs...are long," James whispered hoarsely, staring all the more. He turned to look at Sirius. "Did you get a look at them--Sirius?"

James found himself standing alone and he immediately whipped around towards the half open door, where a smug looking Sirius stood with his hand poised on the doorknob. Again, James' mouth fell open but this time it was dismay that caused the drop and he sprinted over to make his escape, but was a second too late. With a light snap, the door shut and locked.

"I'll see you, my good man, in the morning," Sirius' voice whispered through the door.

"I fucking hate you."

"You say that now. You'll be thanking me in the morning, I assure you. And for now, I bid you adieu," Sirius said, as the sound of footsteps growing farther and farther away could be heard.

James stood at the door for a moment, alternately seething and praising his friend for the situation he had just been thrown into. He tugged on the doorknob, kicking it for good measure; nothing. With a groan, he kicked it again, knowing it wouldn't do him any good since, clearly, Sirius had thought to charm the door locked as well. Though he hated to admit it, it was undeniable that Sirius had style and knew what he was doing, drunk or not.

Biting his lip, he turned back to Lily's bed, eyeing it nervously as one would a rather large, potentially dangerous animal. Though the prospect of spending the night with such a scantily clad girl--a girl he just happened to somewhat, slightly, possibly be in love with-- obviously had its perks, James dreaded the moment when Lily would wake. He had the nasty suspicion that it would end with him losing a body part or two. He walked back to her bed slowly, knowing where to step to avoid the traitor, creaky floorboards, thanking the powers that be for keeping Lily in a deep slumber. Looking around, James found himself torn; was it considered taking advantage of Lily if he looked at her while she was sleeping? Hell, just what was he supposed to do for the next ten or so hours? Stand in the corner, shielding his eyes? Finally, he allowed himself to look at her face--face only--and found himself surprised, his eyebrows raising and his eyes crinkling in concern at what he saw. From the moonlight coming in from the window, he could see the sheen of tears that were slicked across her face, sparkling slightly. After a moment, he slid down on the wall besides Lily's bed, trying not to look at her. He looked, however, when she stirred in her sleep and her hand flopped limply into view. With a groan, knowing how much trouble he could get into for this, he quickly slipped his hand into hers, brushing his thumb on the top of her hand. He allowed himself to close his eyes, mentally cursing Sirius while he held her hand, lazily drifting off into sleep as his hand brushed across her skin.

~*~*~

"James?"

A hand shook his shoulder gently, cautiously bringing him back down to reality. He fought against the whiteness, though, and was about to surrender to the depths of sleep when he felt the soft, cool hand rub his shoulder again. He batted it away, moaning softly and clenching his eyes shut to keep out the early morning sunshine.

"James!" the voice shrieked at him, shattering all semblance of peaceful, early morning serenity.

Eyes flew open and James was immediately awake as he jolted up with a start, smacking his head against the wall. He cursed, rubbing his head roughly as he looked around for the voice. Instead of an angel, James met the gaze of a redheaded Fury.

"Oh. Lily. Hi. Hey. Good morning. Where am I?" James asked blearily, looking around in confusion.

Lily looked at James worriedly, clutching the sheets to her. "Seriously?" she asked.

"Seri--Sirius," James growled suddenly, as the events of the previous night began flashing through his mind.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Anything I should know about?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," James muttered, plotting the excruciating ways in which he would punish Sirius for this.

Making a toga out of her sheets, Lily sat back on the bed and patted the place next to her. James raised an eyebrow of his own until he realized he wasn't going to be physically abused and tugged himself up onto the bed. Lily pulled him closer and for a moment they sat together in the silence of the morning.

"Let me guess," she said, breaking the peacefulness after a minute. "Someone--or both of you, actually--made a bad decision involving...certain substances and after deciding to pay me a visit, Sirius clearly handled himself better and left you here with me."

James stared at her in shock. "Damn, you're good. You may have to be made an honorary Marauder!" he exclaimed admiringly, kissing her on the forehead.

Lily smiled. "That or I can just smell the vodka on you."

"Sirius must've really drunk a lot, then, cause I didn't," James replied quickly. On a second thought, he looked at Lily slyly. "Nice that you know your liquor, though."

"Oh, please, I'm not some alcoholic slut," she retorted, pouting at him. He laughed at her expression, glad to see that she had temporarily forgotten her sadness.

"Never said you were, love, never said you were," he answered, squeezing her to his chest tighter. Lily smiled up at him and then looked down at the arm protectively wrapped around her.

"Been working out?" she asked lightly, squeezing his arm. With a roguish grin, he nodded and flexed.

"You know, I do what I can," he said in mock humility. She giggled and pushed him away from her playfully.

"Show off," she muttered with a laugh at his pained expression.

With an evil grin, James quickly scooped her up and tossed her to the other side of the bed, sending her sprawling. She bounced off the edge of the bed with a small shriek, entangled in her blankets. James roared in laughter, not noticing as Lily slowly picked herself up on the other side of the bed and kneeled, waiting. When he finally managed to get a hold of himself, he looked up, chuckling merrily until he saw the look in her eye, at which point he quickly shut up.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" he asked, eyeing her warily.

"Yup. And guess what?"

"...What?"

"This means war!" she yelled, as a sudden bombardment of pillows began to assault him. He took one to the head, choking as it exploded feathers all over him. Quickly, James learned to duck and roll, avoiding Lily's assault as she laughed in triumph. As he dodged them, he grabbed the pillows as well, hoarding them until just the right moment. After she was all out of ammo, Lily smiled at him cockily, gloating in what she thought was her supposed triumph. The smile slipped, however, when he grinned just as evilly and her mouth opened in surprised horror as she saw him hold up every pillow she had thrown at him. Immediately, she dove for cover in her bed. He dove right after her and they began hit each other with pillows until the room was a big, fluffy, feathery haze. Laughing like small children, they called a truce and lay in the bed, panting heavily. Lily looked over at James and smiled contentedly; he in turn returned the grin and was just about to lean in when he started coughing violently.

"Oh my God, are you alright?" she asked, watching his face turn an interesting shade of red. He shook his head yes even as he hacked more violently, gripping his throat. She thumped on his back, apologizing with each blow. James coughed one last time and stared in confusion as

a feather flew out of his mouth. They stared at it for a moment--this soggy, floating feather--, looked at each other and started screaming in laughter again.

"Jesus, I haven't laughed this hard since--" Lily began, before stopped suddenly and bit her lip, realizing what she had been about to say as her eyes welled up quickly before she could stop herself. She sniffed as a few lone tears escaped and rolled down her cheek, contrasting with the giddy atmosphere they had been enjoying only moments before. She sat up, pulled her legs up to her chest, and hid her face in her knees, hating herself for crying so much lately. James, slightly afraid of what might cross the line, lightly draped an arm across her shoulders and squeezed her consolingly.

"You know," he said after a few minutes, "my dad was killed in fourth year. I remember what it was like."

"Oh," she breathed quietly. "I do remember that. I actually remember saying I was going to be nicer to you because of that. But, wait...he was killed? I thought he just, you know, died," she finished lamely.

"Nah. He worked for the Ministry, an Auror." he quietly replied. He only had to murmur the word Auror and Lily didn't even need an explanation, but he still continued. "You know, I never thought I'd be happy again but it does get better, as cliché as it sounds. You learn to deal, to cope and to just...be yourself again. Without that person. It's not like they leave you forever, 'cause they're always gonna be there. You just have to wait a while 'til you see them again. That's all. They're always still here." After a few minutes of silence, James wrapped an arm around her and hugged her close, feeling the slow rhythm of her heartbeat drum against his bare chest. She looked up at him for a moment, a thoughtful expression playing across her face before she leaned in and kissed him. His hold on her shoulders moved down to the bare, warm skin of her back, pulling him closer to her as she kissed him still deeper. James took his mouth off of hers for an instant, studying her face as he pushed her down onto the bed gently. The sudden spark of apprehension in her eyes was enough for him to remove his grip and pull back.

Lily sighed, a small tinge of gratitude lining the exhale of breath, as she struggled to sit up. She looked at James, eyeing his lack of clothing, and said, "You gotta get dressed. What if your mom walks in? She'll think I'm stealing her ickle Jaimykins' virtue."

"Oh, for the love of Merlin, I will never live that down," he groaned jokingly as he lightly leapt off of the bed and went to try the door. After a few unsuccessful kicks, shoulder bumps, tugs and spells, he voiced his opinion.

"Yeah...it's still locked. What do we do?" he asked exasperatedly, slinking down to the floor.

"Yell for Sirius?" Lily asked with a shrug. There was suddenly a knock at the door and an all too familiar voice could be heard crowing out a greeting to the prisoners.

"Good morning, love birds!"

"Sirius!" they both yelled in unison, glaring at the door. It was disgusting the way they could practically hear the smug grin creeping across Sirius' face as he laughed loudly.

"Ask and you shall receive, I guess," Lily muttered darkly, tugging the blankets around her again as James chuckled at her remark.

"Yes, lovebirds? What can I do for you?" he asked, sounding all too pleased with himself.

"You can actually let me out, you idiot," James replied tightly, standing once more so he could face the door.

"Decisions, decisions...yeah, no, sorry. Don't think I can do that," he replied brightly.

"Really now, Sirius? Why the hell not?" Lily called threateningly, joining James by the door. She too glared at the wooden paneling, crossing her arms over her blanketed chest.

"Well, Silly Lily, it's just so damn fun to screw with you guys. Anyway, I'm hungry-- nothing out of the ordinary there--so I'm going to get myself some breakfast. Have fun!" Sirius called, his quickly retreating footsteps slapping the carpeted floor.

"I swear his mother dropped him purposely as a baby," James muttered darkly.

"More than once, clearly," Lily added, throwing a glare at the door.

"He's been hit with loads of stuff in DADA too. Probably addled his brains a lot," James remarked.

"Oh, mm, I can tell," Lily growled, tugging her blanket-cape tightly. "We need to get out of here."

"Well, not right away at least," James said, a suggestive, lilting tone to his voice, eyeing Lily. She looked at him, rolling her eyes, and groaned.

"No, James, I think we should get out of here somewhat quickly," Lily disagreed with a giggle. "Not that I don't absolutely adore being locked in a room with you...but you get the idea."

"I suppose you're right," James conceded with a sigh, scooping Lily up into his arms. She yelped, clinging to his neck for support.

"James, put me down!" she cried, just as he tossed her gently on to the stripped down, sheet less bed. She raised an eyebrow accusingly at him. "Did I not just say we need to get out of here quickly?"

James attempted to look innocent as he replied, "Well, I do seem to find that I do my best thinking when I'm in bed..."

~*~*~

"Morning, Sirius! Where are Lily and James?" Keira asked brightly as Sirius trooped into the kitchen, scrubbing his eyes with a yawn.

"Top o' the morning, Mum. James is still asleep and I think Lily is, too. What's for breakfast?" he answered quickly, deftly changing the subject as he grabbed a stool at the counter. He grinned happily as Keira pushed a plate of scrambled eggs and cinnamon rolls towards him, shoving a hot pastry into his mouth.

This was definitely going to be an interesting morning.

~*~*~

"Pretty sure you just broke your shoulder."

"Nah, it just sounded worse than it actually was. Would've hurt a hell of a lot more, too. Lovely Sirius was the one who broke it for me the summer before third year, actually. Bastard."

Lily laughed, sitting cross legged on her bed as she watched James attempt to break down the door again. Their planning session hadn't gone very well and after a few futile attempts at charming the door open, breaking off the doorknob--though Lily saw no point in that one, James had insisted that it would work--and kicking it down, James had resorted to simply running into the door, in the hopes that it would break.

"Uh, James? I probably should, I don't know, get changed," Lily said sheepishly, feeling a flush rising to her cheeks. In a last ditch attempt to preserve her modesty, she had thrown on an extremely large tee-shirt, much to James' pleas to the contrary and then badly disguised disappointment.

"Oh, hey. Um. Yes. Well, that would be...a very...wise idea. I guess," James said awkwardly, suddenly finding an all-consuming interest in the floor. "Should I, uh, do something...?"

"No, nothing! I just have to get in the bathroom. I was just telling you, so...stay out of the bathroom, alright?"

Slowly dying a thousand deaths at the awkwardness of the conversation, Lily scrambled to get her clothes and quickly walked over to the bathroom. She pulled on the doorknob. Giving it a strange look, she tried again, twisting the gold knob right and then left. It still didn't move. Lily tried again, jutting her hip into the doorjamb this time. She got the same results.

"You're kidding me," she snarled under her breath. Turning towards James, she said, "You are going to be one less Marauder when we get out of this room. We've got a problem."

"What has he done now?!"

"You Marauders and your well thought out plans. He locked us out of the bathroom."

Swearing under his breath, James strode over to the door and pulled on it. Today was not his day, he reasoned as he punched the door in frustration. Except for the fact that he was in Lily's bedroom and they were alone, today was just not his day.

"All right, then. I'll go over here and you go over there," he said, pointing in opposite directions of the room. He sniggered as he walked to his corner; no doubt Sirius thought locking them out of the bathroom would do him a favor.

"James," Lily called from her side of the room, arms cross over her chest. "To peek is to die. That's all I'm saying."

~*~*~

"Thanks, Keira! I'll go wake up James now!" Sirius called, as he exited the kitchen, climbing the stairs two at a time. Padding down the hallways, he applauded himself for a small prank well done. Just outside of James' door, he grinned wickedly, imagining the chaos that was about to ensue.

"Oy, lovebirds--!"

~*~*~

"James Jonathan Potter, I am standing in front of a mirror. I can see you peeking! So help you God, do not look!" shrieked a less-than-modest Lily from her side of the room.

"All right, all right, woman. Don't have a fit," James said grudgingly, grinning despite himself. He knew he really shouldn't be peeking but it was a great laugh to see Lily in such a position.

Suddenly, the door burst open, revealing a grinning Sirius. "Oy, lovebirds! What the--?"

Lily shrieked, again.

Sirius laughed, loudly.

And James tackled, ceasing Sirius' laughter.

As Lily tugged her green V neck sweater on over her head into a much more acceptable position, James shoved Sirius out of the bedroom to give him the beating of his life as Sirius pleaded loudly for that very same life. Laughing to herself, Lily ran to the bathroom to finish changing and to help James beat up Sirius.

~*~*~

"I'm bored--"

"Sirius, if you say that one more time, I'm going to castrate you," Keira claimed, walking into the living room to deposit a new tray of cookies. Sirius whimpered pitifully, pulling his knees to his chest in defense.

"You know what you lot should do? Go Christmas shopping!" Keira said excitedly to the three teenagers who had been lying about the living room for the past four hours, bathed in the warmth and glow of the flames roaring in the fireplace.

"Yeah, we probably should go shopping, it's only five days 'til Christmas. Hey, we could always Floo to Diagon Alley!" James said, hopping up from his position on the couch, dismantling a most disgruntled Lily.

"Yes, for the love of Merlin, please get out of this house," Keira moaned, tugging Sirius up by the shoulders.

"Oy, watch it, watch it, watch the hair, woman. But we're going to Diagon Alley! We're going to Diagon Alley!" Sirius chanted enthusiastically, improvising a small dance. Keira, Lily and James stared at him for a moment before he muttered, embarrassed, "What, I'm a talented man." Immediately, the bunch burst out laughing and scattered to find their jackets and wallets. As James threw jackets down from the second floor to his friends, Sirius groaned suddenly.

"What?" Lily asked, tugging a furry, hunters' hat onto the dark haired boy's head.

"Thanks for that, by the way, but nothing," he said, positioning the hat at a more flattering angle. "I just realized that I should've mentioned something to Maguire, how we'd be going to Diagon Alley and all."

"Oh, shush. We didn't know that we'd be going last night. It was all last minute," Lily reasoned reassuringly. "Maybe she'll be there!"

"Yeah, if her parents let her go out for once in her life," he muttered darkly, walking back into the living room. With another sigh, Lily watched him go. James quickly loped down the stairs, pulling on a thick tweed jacket as he did.

"Ready?" he asked with a smile as he grabbed her hand and walked into the living room again.

"Yeah, let's go," she answered. Dipping a mittened hand into the jar of Floo powder, she tossed the glittering dust into the flames, starting slightly when the flames roared back and turned from fiery orange to dark emerald. They each took turns ducking into the large fireplace and, in unison, called out their destination. And they were off, spinning and turning, watching different fireplaces for only brief fractions of seconds as they whirled into oblivion. They finally arrived, each going in different, sprawling directions, at the Leaky Cauldron.

"Well, my back is broken," Sirius said as he untangled his limbs and stood up off of the dusty, wooden floor. With a nod to the barkeeper, Tom, they set off down the street, pointing and ogling the displays and different items that they could buy. James had to be physically pulled past the display at the Quality Quidditch Supplies store, drooling in lust over the latest broomstick shining in the window. Just as they were about to begin looking for a location to sit down and order a few drinks, they heard an excited shriek.

"Sirius! Lily! James! Wait, wait up!"

Seconds later, Sirius was attacked from behind, familiar bundle of white wool leaping on to his back with a high pitched squeal. It was, undoubtedly, Maguire, dressed in her creamy white winter pea coat, standing before them. She grinned excitedly once she had detached herself from Sirius after a most enthusiastic greeting.

"Hi!" she cried, attracting the attention of many of the shoppers in the near vicinity. "Miss me!?"

"Haven't had enough time to," James joked, winding an arm around Lily's waist. "Listen, we're going to get drinks and then get some shopping done. Obviously you're going to be coming with us, so c'mon."

Sirius hadn't stopped staring at Maguire since she had climbed off of his back and stood in front of him, so she tapped his face and said, "Oy, you. Yes, I'm real. Let's go."

He swooped in to kiss her quickly before he grabbed her hand and began leading the way, a crazed grin stamped across his face. "Where to, Prongs?" he asked, practically skipping down the alley.

"Oh, let's go to the new little café place!" Maguire offered. "It's so cute, I passed it earlier--"

"Yeah, we did, too," James cut in with a straight face. "I gagged at the sight of it."

"Well, you're a whore, so shut up. There's always the Leaky Cauldron," she replied, sticking her middle finger at James for his first comment.

"Eh, too rowdy. What about the Pumpkin's Eye?" Sirius said, stamping his feet in the cold. He could feel the winds shifting, threatening to bring a maelstrom of snow later in the night.

"I'm sorry," James said, giving Sirius an odd look. "Did you just say there's a bar named the 'Pumpkin's Eye'?"

"Ho, ho, my good man, indeed I did. Come on, if you've never been, you definitely have to go. It's really not that weird, I swear," Sirius promised, once again tugging Maguire's hand as he began winding his way down the alley. As they walked, the first few flakes of snow began to fall.

"You know, if you're with the one you love during the first snowfall of the year, it's supposed to mean they're your true love," Maguire murmured as Sirius held the smooth, wooden door of the pub open for her.

"Good," he said, stealing another kiss as she walked by. "'Cause you are my true love."

"God, you guys can be so tacky," James interrupted, cuffing Sirius on the back of the head as he walked in, Lily in tow.

"Screw off, Prongs; you're jealous!" Sirius yelled, shaking the wet drops of melted water out of his hair.

"Mm, jealous, that's exactly what I am," James called out through the mildly crowded bar as he weaved his way through the room.

They quickly found a quiet booth in a secluded corner, agreeing that the Pumpkin's Eye wasn't as strange as they had expected. After placing orders for a round of Butterbeers, Maguire squealed, "So, how is everyone? It's so boring up at the house; I need some entertainment, people!" She snuggled deeper into Sirius' side, lacing her fingers through his.

Grinning evilly like a cat that had gotten into the cream, Sirius cocked his head suggestively at the blushing James and Lily, who were vehemently shaking their heads, knowing just what he was thinking.

"Well, you want entertainment? You would never guess what happened last night! So, I, in my all-consuming wisdom..." Sirius began, going on to tell Maguire the events that had taken place last night after they had said goodnight.

"Merlin, and they say I'm the easy one," she said with a laugh. "Please, please tell me that actually happened. I can then die a happy woman." Three nods from answered her, although two of the three were rather reluctant.

"Well then," Maguire said, a grin lighting up her face, "let's just hope we all kept our hands to ourselves and we don't have a little one running around in nine months!"

"I'll drink to that!" Sirius said with a whoop, grabbing the Butterbeers that had just arrived at their table and taking a hearty gulp.

"Same here, mate, pass me my beer," James said, knocking his glass with his best friend's as he too downed a large quantity of the toffee colored concoction. The girls laughed, joining in on the fun as they all clinked glasses and toasted themselves.

~*~*~

At closing time, the group found themselves wandering the quickly darkening streets of the alley, full of sweet, frothy Butterbeer and absolutely purchase-less.

"Oh no! We never got to shopping!" Lily cried, as they were making their way down the street.

"Oh damn, you're right," Sirius answered, smacking himself on the head.

"Some stores are still open. Actually, I think a lot are since Christmas is so close. Why don't we split up? Lily and I will go and look, while you guys can...do, you know...whatever," Maguire offered quickly, seizing the opportunity as she began trying to casually pull Lily away from their respective romantic partners.

"Yeah, we'll meet up at the Leaky Cauldron in what? An hour or so? My mum will get worried if we're gone much longer," James asked, as he looked at his watch.

"Yup, yeah, sounds fantastic! See you guys later!" Maguire replied over her shoulder as she and Lily ran around the corner, laughing.

"We won't see them for awhile, will we?" Sirius asked grimly once the girls had vanished out of view.

"Not a chance..." James answered, shaking his head.

~*~*~

"Why the hell are boys so damn difficult to shop for? Honestly, riddle me that," Lily fretted, while she anxiously paced around a shop. She stood over a glass case of glittering artifacts, practically tearing her hair out over what to get James.

"Uh, you could get him something for Quidditch! He does like Quidditch; I think he's mentioned his fondness for that once or twice," Maguire offered sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up, I want this to be meaningful!" Lily replied with a sigh. She sat down on an available chair and chewed her lip nervously.

"The boy is hard to shop for. I can't think of anything," Maguire complained, leaning back against a similar glass case that lined the adjacent wall. "We always just got him gag gifts and pranking shit for the past few years."

"Fantastic, because I'm sure he totally wants a bag of Dungbombs from his girlfriend for Christmas," Lily grumbled, placing her face in her hand.

"Well, I'm sure he wouldn't mind--"

"Oh, I'm a genius! Ah, yes, yes, yes! I know what I can get him!" Lily shrieked excitedly, quickly leaping up from her chair to do the patented 'Happy Dance' she and Maguire had created in their third year. She hurriedly ran around the store, searching and pulling things out of musty shelves and obscure barrels to see if they had whatever it was she had in mind.

The owner, a little stick of a thing that very closely resembled Professor Flitwick, raced behind the frantic redhead, piping out answers and asking questions as they tore around the store together. Finally, after almost a half hour, Lily and the owner, Mr. Jeremiah K. Rintock, reappeared from the back of the store with happy smiles on both of their faces. Lily held a medium sized package, wrapped with shiny red paper and tied with a golden bow. The grin on her face was almost too much to bear, seeming that if she smiled any wider, it would crack her face in two. Maguire questioned her endlessly, but Lily refused to tell her what she had gotten him, insisting that it be a surprise. Maguire had already bought Sirius a Muggle leather jacket after Lily's suggestion and the two girls grinned, content with their purchases. Excited that they had finally gotten shopping out of the way, they skipped down the alley, arms linked, and scattered other wizardly, Christmas shoppers as they went.

~*~*~

"Damn it, damn it, damn it," Sirius chanted, gently banging his head against the wall next to him in exasperation. James had been looking for a gift for Lily for the majority of their allotted hour and had still yet to find one thing to buy, slowly driving his friend mad with each passing minute. Sirius, however, had opted to snag a beautiful necklace for Maguire; a small circle of emeralds hung at the end of the thin, golden chain that he knew she would love. James, however, was choosing to be difficult. After looking at nearly every item in the store, James had been persnickety enough to find a fault in every single one of them.

Finally, Sirius, at his wit's end, just couldn't take it anymore.

"For the love of God and Merlin and who knows who else! Dammit, James. Pick something; anything!" Sirius yelled, waving his arms in the air wildly, frightening the clerk badly. With an apologetic glance, he then sat down on the ground--as any normal man would, clearly--and tried to regain some composure.

James rolled his eyes at him and said, "But this has to be the right thing for Lily! I really want it to mean something to her!"

"Get her a necklace, then! Girls like necklaces!"

Grumbling, James asked the jeweler if he could please see the necklaces again. She pulled them out of their cases and let James study them, still eyeing Sirius worriedly as if he was going to knife her at any moment. After he loudly began counting to a hundred, James hurriedly narrowed the choice came down to two necklaces: a silver chain with an emerald in the shape of a heart and a golden chain with a locket to put a picture in it. He had a sudden rush of a fantasy, picturing Lily putting a picture of the two of them together in the locket, and he grinned.

"Oy, Sirius," he called over his shoulder at his still sitting friend. "Which one should I get her?" He held up both necklaces, while the frantic clerk tried to grab at the precious jewelry dangling precariously over the edge. Sirius pulled himself up, sauntered over and peered at each one intently.

"After much agonizing and utterly excruciating thought," Sirius began, taking on an intellectual tone of voice, "I have picked...the emerald one."

"Are you sure? I mean, should I get her something else?" James asked uncertainly.

"Honestly, boy, have I taught you nothing? Get her the necklace!" Sirius exclaimed, rolling his eyes. Sometimes James was so dense, it was unbearable, he decided, shaking his head ruefully. "Just buy the damn necklace. It's fine! I bet Lily and Maguire will like them. I mean they're almost identical. You know how girls get when their best friend has the same thing as they do."

"Touché, my good man, touché," James said, finally grinning as he handed the necklace to the clerk and began to pull out his wallet.

~*~*~

As James and Sirius strolled down the lightly snow dusted alley to meet the girls, they passed the pet shop. Without a word to Sirius, James ran up quickly to the dimly lit storefront, plastered his nose to the window, and ran inside after a glance. Groaning woefully and on the verge of tears, Sirius followed him inside. Before he could look around, though, James was already at the register, cupping a soft, fuzzy Puffskein in his hand.

"Listen. I mean, I know you're probably heartbroken about Mr. Orange still, given the shocking revelations of last night. But man, that was in second year," Sirius stated, joining his friend at the counter. He ignored him, thanking the man at the counter, and took the small, circular basket wrapped in gold paper as he exited the store.

"It's not for me, you idiot," James said as they once again began walking down the street, acting as if James hadn't just had a random bout of spontaneity. "It's for Lily, duh."

"Mother of Merlin," Sirius muttered, turning his gaze heavenward. A Puffskein and a necklace? Lily was going to be one happy girl Christmas morning...

~*~*~

Dimly, eight bells tolled somewhere and Lily awoke, a feeling of dread curdling in her stomach. She thought for a moment, trying to dredge up the significance that the day clearly held and almost gave up before it smacked her icily in the face.

Today was the funeral.

Her eyes widened in shock and remembrance. They started to well up in tears and she bit her lip to stop them, to stop the memories. Slowly, she got out of bed and walked to her closet, attempting to remain as unfeeling and robotic as possible.

She searched her closet mechanically, not caring and not noticing anything else as she did, and pulled out a black skirt. She stepped into it, yanking a black sweater over her head roughly, trying to keep the thoughts out of her head. As she brushed her hair, her mind was alternately whirling about what was going to happen and how to repress the ideas that struck her. She looked at herself in the mirror, hating what she saw, and sighed, knowing she had to leave her room at some point.

She slipped quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen, counting the rhythm of her heartbeat to keep her sane. Silence greeted her as she walked into the room and she blinked at the sudden light that seemed to harsh compared to the grayness of the sky outside. Sirius, Keira and James were sitting at the counter, sad expressions on their faces. They all looked up sharply and in unison as Lily walked in. No one said anything, terrified of the pale girl who sat before them again. James merely pulled her stool closer to him, touching his hand to hers as she sat down.

"Eggs, dear?" Keira asked tentatively as she walked over to the stove.

"Just coffee, thanks," Lily muttered softly, staring out the window. A mug of black liquid was placed before her in moments and she drank it, ignoring the cream and sugar Keira had offered. She grimaced at the bitter burn as it raced down her throat, but drank it nonetheless, craving the caffeine.

Sirius cleared his throat. "I'll--I'll go get Maguire, then," he said, lightly crossing the room and into the living room. Lily hardly registered the changing color of the flames or Sirius' disappearance from sight as she swirled a finger into her drink. Plucking it out when the heat burned too much, she sucked the coffee off of her finger absentmindedly, feeling her hand beginning to shake.

It was going to be a long day.

~*~*~

Silently, the Potters and Lily drove up to the cemetery just as the clouds began to rumble angrily. A cluster of people formed a circle off in the distance, though none of the faces were distinguishable to Lily's tear filled eyes when she joined them. A hushed silence fell over the once quietly buzzing ground as she approached them. She felt someone wrap their arms around her and she looked up, recognizing Maguire's face out of the many bystanders. She stepped back from her friend and took her place at Sirius' side as the booming voice of an unknown priest rang out into the misty day.

"In the name of the Father and the Son..."

The ceremony dragged on and on for Lily, who tried to pay it little mind. It blurred together and the voices became soft whispers and mumbles, winding and disappearing into the whispering voice of the wind. Just as she was sure this was all a dream, everything came rushing back with the force of a slap. She turned her head, realizing she had, in fact, been slapped as pain bloomed across her cheek.

"You disgusting, abnormal freak."

The hatred and resentment in the hiss brought a sense of clarity back into Lily's reality. She looked up, barely recognizing her sister's face that was so contorted with rage.

"You disgusting, abnormal freak," she repeated, cold anger seeping into the words. "How dare you show your face here. How dare you."

"What?" Lily mumbled, incomprehension coursing through her system.

"How dare you think you can come to this funeral and think you're worthy to pay respect to my parents? My parents, not yours," Petunia clarified, anger rising in her with each word. Lily looked around, expecting someone to raise a fuss at her sister's treatment, but there was no one left at the gravesite. Everyone had left, except for the Potters, Maguire and Sirius who were standing in a stunned silence off to Lily's right; a fat, young man stood off a little ways beyond Petunia, clearly feeling uncomfortable. The sound of metal breaking into the dirt broke Lily's attention. She looked past Petunia as she continued to rave, unnoticed by Lily.

The grave diggers had begun to dig.

Each time their shovels hit the earth, a shock went through Lily, a shock that distracted her from the venomous speech her sister was screeching at her, from the hissed conversation of her friends behind her and from the pain, always the pain. She tried to count the dull, rhythm of the shovels pattern, but she couldn't keep count past the number four, for some reason. Four times the shovel would hit the ground and conjure up an image of one of her parents or sisters, burning her insides like acid. With a thundering boom, the clouds released the rain they had withheld during the funeral and began to drizzle lightly, tiny sparks that spat onto the ground. In a matter of moments, it became an all out down pour, drenching the few that remained. Petunia raged on and Lily could hear Maguire protesting softly but angrily in the background, insisting that she say something to Petunia.

"This is a funeral, for God's sake. She's humiliating her parents and sisters!" she hissed vehemently, glaring at the other girl. At that remark, Petunia's eyes left Lily's vacant face and turned to Maguire's.

"Don't you ever think you can speak about my family, you freakish whore," she growled darkly, narrowing her beady eyes as the rain beat down against all of them.

Maguire's jaw dropped open in fury and she took a threatening step forward, just as Sirius and James pulled her back. "Oh, don't you fucking dare speak to me like that--"

Petunia stepped back, a cloud of fear breaking out over her angry face. She knew better than to argue with someone like Maguire and merely chose to glower at her from a safe distance instead. Glaring witheringly at Lily one last time, she parted ways by spitting on the ground inches from Lily's feet and turned her back, stomping across the muddy, rain soaked ground.

"You bitch!" Maguire screamed, jerking against the hold the boys had her in. She screamed unintelligibly, fury marring her features at the injustice. A new scream joined hers as she yelled and they all looked to Lily who had moved closer to the graves, unnoticed by the others.

Standing by the finished graves, she was drenched to the bone but unmoving, unthinking, and unfeeling in the midst of the chill and rain. Shaking, she first looked down at the freshly overturned dirt and then up to the lightning torn, thunder ridden sky. With the rain pouring down on her already wet face, she let out a scream that released all of the agony that had been eating away at her for the past horrific days. And with a thump, she fainted.

~*~*~

"Oh, goddammit," James muttered, sprinting over to the figure lying in the dirt. With a strength most likely fueled by adrenalin, he tossed her like a rag doll into his arms and raced back to the car. Sirius and Maguire had beaten him to the vehicle and almost fell over themselves trying to open the slippery handle.

"Damn it," Sirius muttered before he finally jerked the handle open, allowing James to slide in the back with Lily and Maguire. Keira had heated up the car already and was roaring down the drive before James had fully slammed the door shut, spewing gravel as they drove.

"Lily?" James whispered, tapping her face gently. He got no response, which scared him even more. James tried to revive her numerous times, tapping her face and rubbing her hair, becoming more frantic each time her cold frame didn't stir.

"God, James, just stop it already!"

He looked up in surprise at Maguire, who had angry tears shining in her eyes. She put her free hand on his and said, "Sorry, but you need to stop. I hate seeing her like this--hell, I hate seeing all of us like this. Don't. Just...don't. Let her be. She's had an ordeal and needs sleep."

James was stunned into silent agreement as he watched Maguire, tears slipping down her face and her hand clutching Sirius' from over the front seat. Sirius shot him an apologetic look and sighed, closing his own troubled grey eyes. James ran his hand through his wet hair and sighed heavily as his best friend had done, realizing he could do nothing for her. He looked at Lily, unconscious and breathing slightly. Her red hair shone about her pale face, paler than usual from the torrential downpour. He sighed again and stared out the clouded window for the rest of the ride home, silently stroking Lily's hair as he had done so many times before.

~*~*~

Lily slept for four nights.

A frantic James had begged his mother to call a doctor, a Healer, anyone, when she hadn't woken up after the second day. Keira refused, claiming that Lily's mind was protecting itself and she would wake up when she was ready. James had thrown a few plates and stormed out of the house at that verdict, angrier than he had been in a long time. He returned much later, slipping through the back door as Keira sat knitting. He walked by silently, regretting his outburst and was about to apologize when his mother interrupted him first.

"It's alright, love. I understand."

It was reasons like these, her simple understanding ways, that made James truly love his mother.

Lily finally opened her eyes on the morning of Christmas Eve, a present in itself for James. She awoke, very tired and hungry, reminding her of when she had woken up in the Hospital Wing. She smiled at the thought of how James had been waiting for her then, suddenly wondering where he was. She stumbled to the door and opened it slightly, peeking her head out to check the halls. Her eyes lit up as she saw James, asleep outside of her door, his head slipping sideways off the wall. Not wanting to wake him, she tiptoed down the hall silently, determined to grab some food when her ankle was grabbed from behind, stopping her in her tracks. She turned around and James sat there, sleepily rubbing his eyes and trying to smile while stifling a yawn.

"Good morning, sunshine," he yawned from his position on the ground.

Lily smiled slightly and sat down next to him, her head on his shoulder. "How long have I been sleeping?" she asked softly, not wanting to ruin the hush of the early morning.

"Four days. It's Christmas Eve!" he replied brightly. James pulled her up and looked her in the eye warily, trying to gage a reaction from her. Again, she smiled slightly and shuffled in closer, wrapping her arms around him in a loose hug. They stood there in the hall, hugging each other for a moment that left Lily felt a little bit better, having James surround her.

"Do you wanna talk about anything?" he asked quietly, rubbing her back as they continued to stand in the hallway. Lily tensed for a second, her heart seizing painfully.

"No," she choked out, suddenly unable to breathe. "Not--not now, no."

"Okay, yeah, sure, I totally get it," James replied, quickly changing tactics. "It's gotta be like, eight o'clock or so. Wanna go get something to eat?"

Grateful for the distraction, she nodded, just as her stomach growled in reply. "That means yes," she answered, allowing James to take her by the arm and lead her down to the kitchen for a private, early morning breakfast.

~*~*~

As the rest of the household awoke and the day carried on, it became apparent that the last thing Lily wanted to do was to relive the last day that she could remember and they all obliged her by it. James would glance at her worryingly every so often, but Lily ignored his glances, fighting to keep everything at bay. Just when James' concern was yielding into an overbearing zone, a knock came at the door.

Sirius shuffled over to it, still clad in his pajamas and called out, "Who the hell's there?"

"Such a fantastic way to greet your girlfriend, you jerk."

"Maguire!" he yelled in surprise, ripping the door open so fast that it smacked into the wall. He yanked her inside, immediately pulling her into a hug. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice muffled by her winter coat and hair.

"I flew over," she explained, grabbing her snow covered broom from outside and laying it on the foyer's marble floors. "I just had to get out of there; I couldn't take it anymore with the party going on tonight."

Sirius looked outside at the snow covered terrain. "I could kill you for flying in weather like this, you know," he remarked, shutting the door as he pulled her farther inside. "You could've been killed."

"Oh, shut up, I totally knew what I was doing," she said, brushing off his comments. "Besides, I missed you."

He grinned at the comment, kissing her softly as he began to undo her jacket. She stopped him, however, looking around for James and Lily.

"Oy, watch it. I'm not taking this off just yet, even though I know you love to take my clothes off for me," she said, smacking his hand playfully. "Where is everyone? Is Lily awake yet?"

"I reckon it was the greatest Christmas gift Prongs ever got, her waking up" he replied with a smile. Maguire's face lit up and she raced over to the stairwell.

"Lily! James! C'mere, let's go! We're going outside!"

"So loud, so loud," Lily murmured, appearing from out of nowhere as she walked around the corner with an also pajama clad James. Maguire squealed, running over in her snow boots to hug her best friend. "And now we're too close," Lily remarked, allowing Maguire to squeal over her some more.

"Oh hush it, you. Come on, seriously! I wanna go play in the snow," Maguire whined, walking back over towards the door and opening. "Look at all of it!"

"Shut it!" James cried, as a cold gust of wind blew in. "Calm yourself, woman. We'll all go get changed and go out."

Maguire cheered and, tugging Sirius behind her, began racing up the stairs again towards his room.

Lily shook her head as she watched the pair go. "Not even here five minutes and she's already creating a commotion," she muttered, following her friend's path. James laughed in agreement as he too pulled Lily up the stairs so they could enjoy the day in the snow.

~*~*~

They spent more than three hours out in the snow, creating snow forts and snowmen, waging war with snowballs and peacefully creating angels. Finally, dripping wet and frozen, they agreed to come inside the house as dusk began to fall, sending new chills down their spines. Keira was waiting, in the kitchen, armed with warm cups of hot chocolate and freshly baked cookies, much to the teenager's hungry stomachs' joy. Stripped of their wet clothes, they sat around the roaring fireplace, munching on snacks and curled up in blankets.

"Hey, you guys, I have an idea. Want to play Truth or--" Maguire began to suggest as she wriggled deeper into her blanket.

"No," James and Lily flatly refused, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence.

"Fine, fine. No need to get your knickers tied up in knots. Christ, it was just an idea!" Maguire mumbled grumpily, as she leaned more closely into Sirius who only laughed, tearing into another cookie.

~*~*~

All too soon, it seemed that Maguire had to leave. Her parents were throwing their annual Christmas season event and, thinking themselves gracious, had allowed Maguire to attend. This, essentially, meant she was forced to attend, much to her loudly voiced displeasure. After lengthy, drawn out goodbyes, she stepped over to the door and made to go out, grabbing her now dry broom off the floor.

The door didn't move. She tried again, bumping her hip into the door in an attempt to loosen it. When it failed to budge a second time, she kicked it and swore, dropping her broom with a clatter.

"Sirius!" she called, hopping around on one foot as she rubbed her newly injured one. "Open the door for me. It won't fucking move and I just broke my toe."

"Merlin, you honestly make me question your sanity sometimes," Sirius muttered as he got up to help his girlfriend open the door. Casually, he yanked the doorknob up with a shove and stumbled back a step when the door didn't move. He pushed on it again, jutting his own hip into the frame, just as Maguire had. Taking a glance out the window, Sirius gasped softly and then turned around with a grim expression on his face.

"Prongs, old pal. We've got a problem."

The other couple meandered over to investigate. "What's up? The door stuck?" James asked.

"I'd say it's a little more than stuck," Sirius explained with an odd tone in his voice. "Take a look outside."

James moved back the curtain and stared, whistling appreciatively at the sight that met his eyes. "Damn," he uttered softly. "I don't think I've ever seen the snow that high. That's gotta be four feet or so."

"So, I take it I'm not going to be flying home," Maguire drawled, nudging her broom with a snow boot clad toe. "Floo-ing is out because my parents shut down the Floo network to the house. They want everyone coming in by Apparition, since you know it's the 'classy, old-fashioned manner,'" she explained, sticking her nose in the air jokingly.

"You could Apparate, too," Lily offered with a yawn.

Maguire's expression went from mildly hopeful to hopeless in a heartbeat. "Yeah, I guess so," she muttered.

"But, I mean, you don't have to, do you?" Sirius piped up suddenly, picking up on Maguire's train of thought. "I mean, it'd probably be safer if you just, oh, I don't know...spent the night here?"

Excitement returned to Maguire's eye, as everyone understood what Sirius was saying. "This, my darling boyfriend, is very true," she replied, beginning to take off her jacket again. "I mean, they wouldn't want me in any danger coming home, right? This is really the safer option." She looked at James pleadingly. "Is it alright if I stay?" she asked, fixing him with her puppy eyes.

"Are you kidding? Of course it is, Maguire! Looks like you're staying the night. I'll go tell my mother," James said as he ran off to get his mom amidst the whooping cheers of a joyous Sirius and Maguire. He shook his head ruefully. Keira would be pleased; more guests.

~*~*~

Around midnight, James heard a sound as he walked back to his room after getting a drink. He listened for a moment, and, heart sinking, realized it was coming from Lily's room. Hurrying down the hall, he tiptoed into the room and went to Lily's bed, where she sat crying her heart out, unaware that James was there. Hunched over and sobbing into her hands, her soft keening cries nearly brought James to tears himself. He wrapped an arm around her and just held her, knowing all he could do was let her cry. Lily turned her head inwards to James' chest and sobbed even harder. It nearly broke James' heart to hear it.

"Why?" she whispered after a while, sniffing heavily. James understood immediately what she was asking, but could only shake his head and rub her back in an attempt to soothe her. He pulled her back onto him and they just lay there, side by side in the dark.

"Lily, your parents wouldn't want this. They'd want you to be happy, as grossly cliché as that sounds. Sure, you can be sad--that's totally expected and understandable--but they wouldn't want you sad forever, forever moping and letting life pass you by. They'd want you living life, not living in the past and in their deaths. You don't have to do it right away. Take some time, because it definitely will take a while. But Lily, they'd want you happy more than anything. Because they all loved you and wanted what was best for you. Remember them in happiness, not sadness," James whispered into her hair, whispering the same words his mother had spoken to him on the eve after his father's death.

Lily was silent, except for the small sniffs and choked breathing that escaped her sporadically. She clung to James tightly, shaking in her effort to keep him close to her.

"James?" she said a little later, her tears mixing in his hair. She looked into his warm, hazel eyes, a little scared about what she was going to say.

"Yeah, Lily?" he asked, as he looked down at her tearstained face. It made him love her all the more for how beautiful she was even in her misery.

"I--I love you."

He was silent for a heartbeat, his heart breaking and exploding at the same time at the sound of her words. All he could do was hug her harder and kiss her hair.

"I love you too."

~*~*~

Sirius and Maguire lay still down in the living room, collapsed on each other, having fallen asleep while they all played wizard's chess. Sirius started awake suddenly, slammed back into reality from a trigger in his dream. He looked down at the surprising amount of weight on his chest and was greeted with the sight of Maguire, who was unconscious on his chest. Her honey tinted, brown colored tresses were splayed all across his upper body and she was breathing deeply, a slight smile playing on her rosy lips. Her eyes fluttered back and forth under her eyelids in a vivid dream. The fire was still roaring and its light played across Maguire's face, creating shadow patterns that swirled and turned over her nose, eyes, cheeks, lips and hair. Legs that were tangled in his and arms that dangled loosely around his waist reminded him of the many mornings they had woken up like this back at Hogwarts. He would always wake up first on those mornings, earlier than usual, so she could sneak back into her own dorm before anyone in the tower awoke. He grinned at the thought, drowsily dragging a finger softly down her cheek.

Sirius continued to study her by the firelight as Maguire slept on. Shifting in her sleep, she turned to her left slightly, hugging Sirius closer to her, sighing as she did.

Damn it. I'm so, insanely in love with her.

Sirius smiled ironically at the thought, looking into the depths of the fire as he tore his gaze from the girl on his chest. The infamous ladies' man, Sirius Black, had finally fallen--quite hard--in love. He looked back down and practically jumped out of his skin, seeing Maguire awake and smiling up at him drowsily.

She stretched easily and yawned, brushing her hand up the length of Sirius' chest.

"Mmm. That felt good. That was the best sleep I've had in ages," she murmured sleepily, her voice breaking off into another yawn. She rolled off of him and extended her right leg, stretching again. Maguire brushed the hair from her eyes and looked at Sirius, who was staring intently at her.

"What?" she asked groggily, feeling a little self-conscious. She was still somewhat in the phase of dreaming and awake and felt deliciously warm from the fire's flames. "Sirius, what is it--"

She never finished because he captured her mouth his own and her breath caught in her throat.

"You know what?" Sirius asked huskily after he released her from the kiss.

"Mm?" she replied from her position on the floor next to him, trying to catch her breath and to calm her racing heart.

"I still can't believe I'm with you. I must be damned lucky to have you love me."

"Goddammit, Sirius. You know you're really slow? I mean, I know I looked at you at the beginning of the year and thought, 'I'm going to fall in love with him.' And I have. "

Sirius looked down at her and she looked up at him, a thousand emotions playing across both of their faces. After a moment, he seemed to have decided something and spoke, anticipation lining his words.

"Maguire, you know I'd never do anything to hurt you, right?" Sirius asked anxiously, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. He knew he sounded nervous, hating himself for how juvenile he seemed, but this was too important and he couldn't wait to hear her answer. He didn't care about anything but Maguire at the moment.

"I've known that forever," she answered, just as breathlessly. Sirius quickly scrambled to his feet and plucked Maguire up, gripping her to his chest possessively. His heart beat skipped a beat as her body met his and he could hear her little, sharp intake of breath.

"I really do love you, you know," he said as he picked her up bridal style, walking over to the stairs.

"I know," she whispered into his ear as she kissed him along his jaw line, the sensation driving him crazy and causing him to stop and claim her mouth before he could go on.

He laughed and carried her upstairs quietly, his feet quietly brushing the carpet as he hurried down the hall. He nudged his bedroom door gently, feeling Maguire's heart rate quicken in time with his own. Sirius deposited Maguire on the bed and turned around, locking the door with a click. He looked down in surprise; his hands were shaking. He could only allow it a second's thought as he heard Maguire whisper his name and he turned around again, just as quickly to gaze at her. Again, they looked at each other for a moment, emotions running wild on their faces before Maguire reached up for him and kissed him deeply as he got in the bed.

"Love me?" she whispered softly as he took off his shirt and started on hers.

"Always," he answered as he claimed her mouth again and pulled down the sheets.

~*~*~

It could have been like any other morning waking up in the boys' dormitory at Hogwarts, but from the second Maguire's eyes fluttered open, she knew it was different. She rubbed her bare shoulder in Sirius', reveling in the warmth of skin on skin.

"Morning, love," Sirius mumbled quietly into Maguire's neck, kissing her. "Happy Christmas."

"And a happy Christmas to you," she answered, turning to face him. They kissed slowly, waking each other up in the early morning light.

"Mm," she groaned after a moment, breaking the connection. She nuzzled into Sirius' neck with another sleepy moan.

"I have to ask you something, Maguire," Sirius said, his tone a little tense, a little tight.

She straightened up and clutched the sheets around her, leaning into Sirius' muscular shoulders as she traced the tip of her nose along the side of his face.

"What?" she drawled sleepily, inhaling his scent.

"God, this is nerve-wracking. But it's just--alright, bear with me for a second," he began, cracking his knuckles nervously. "I know that I love you more than anything else in this world and I was just--well..." He looked off out the window, trying to collect his thoughts.

Maguire sat still and straight, instinctively knowing what he was about to do. She tensed as well, feeling her heartbeat kick into overdrive, sending shivers down her spine and into her hands. Her breath caught in her throat. Surely he wasn't going to--?

"Alright, here it goes. Maguire," he began again. Slowly, he untangled himself from the sheets and got down on one flannel clad knee, kneeling on the floor. She gasped squeakily, still holding the sheets against her body. Her mind shut down; this wasn't happening. This totally wasn't happening. She was hallucinating, this was all just a dream and she was going to wake up at any second--

She brought her shaking hands up to her mouth as her eyes filled with tears, realizing with a shock that this was, in fact, real. Sirius let out a rush of nervous breath and closed his eyes. He opened them a second later, so many things obvious in his gaze, and gripped her hand.

"Marry me?"