Seventeen Forever

Black, rushing air.

And then, nothing.

~*~*~

Gripping the icy golden ball that weakly threatened to escape his equally slick, chilly hand, James looked on in horror while an unconscious Lily plunged towards the unforgiving ground. Time seemed to be going by sluggishly slow as his mind numbly captured the image of Lily's frame hurtling towards the ground. From what seemed like miles away, he could hear the dull roar of his classmates screaming in horror in the stands, as they too watched the horrific sight before them, as helpless as he was. Except he wasn't helpless, he realized thickly, as some semblance of action began to form in his mind. Something within him snapped. Time, once passing by in second by heart wrenchingly slow second, now ferociously roared to life and everything seemed to happen at hyper speed suddenly. The empty, black hole of despair that had spread through him as he watched Lily's fall in slow motion suddenly became white hot; angry, rushing adrenalin suddenly poured through him and James furiously whipped his wand out from his uniform's back pocket and roared out a spell. The burst of electric blue light smashed into Lily's frame and slowed the pace of her descent. It enveloped her as softly as a cocoon, guiding her gently towards the soaked, mud stained Quidditch pitch. James tore out of the sky, going much too fast to reach Lily; he tumbled off of his broom, paying no mind to anything other than her. She hovered eerily above the ground, the slight tinge of blue outlining her form like an aura. Eyes closed, she exhaled slowly and steadily and to an unknowing passerby, she might have been sleeping. Her hair hung damply, wild and untamed since it had escaped from its ponytail, dripping wetness that hit the ground like soft tears; tears that James felt stinging his eyes as he reached out and touched her hand, just to make sure she was really there, really alive. So cold, too cold; her hand shouldn't be that cold, he thought, his mind weakly trying to connect with a sense of reality and stability after the brief explosion of energy in the past few seconds. He felt people jostling around him, still yelling harshly as the stormy wind enunciated the rough sounds of the world around him. People pulled at him, tugging him backwards and away from Lily; he tried to resist but it was as if he had no more energy and finally gave up and let himself be dragged away by what he recognized as Sirius and Maguire. They pushed through the crowd of people, stomping across the slick grass to meet the other Gryffindor players, who were no longer jubilant at their hard won win. One of the girls, Georgia Staffers, was crying, James realized as he joined the semi circle of red and gold. From a few feet off, he stood, surrounded by his equally silent teammates.

He turned slowly at the sound of boots landing heavily on the ground, one pair, three pairs, seven pairs. It was as if he wasn't fully reconnected with his body yet, so he couldn't focus properly, couldn't react quickly. His eyes slid over to the figures, so raucously laughing and screaming, the sound grating against his oddly sensitive ears. He felt the energy build up again as he watched them, the hotness spreading like wild fire through his body, making everything seem sharper, clearer and more vibrant. The fog that had seemed to consume his mind was now lifted and the angry shone brightly now, beating down on him as any hot summer day's sun.

It was at that point that James lost it.

"You bastard. You sick, fucking bastard. You think that's funny? You think that-- nearly killing a girl--you think that's funny?" he shouted, reeling towards a laughing Malfoy and his Slytherin team. The entire emerald hued team was roaring with laughter, as they circled around their leader, watching Malfoy crudely pantomiming James' reaction.

"Oh calm down, you prick," Malfoy drawled, still laughing mildly. "You're so overly dramatic, Potter, I swear to Merlin. For fuck's sake, you fairy, it wasn't even my fault. She's the one who hit her head on her broomstick, the dumb bitch." He turned to one of his teammates, who closely resembled a gorilla with his heavy jaw, jutting brows and over all hairiness. "Morell, did you see that? When she hit her head? I thought I was going to die, it was too damn good. Stupid Mudblood. If she was really a witch, she would've been able to at least attempt to protect herself, though Merlin only knows how good that even would have been. She probably would've just blown her arm off or something." He doubled over in laughter at the idea, turning his back on the livid James, whose breathing had turned labored and erratic. He broke out of the circle, sprinted the twenty or so yards between the teams and roughly grabbed Malfoy by the shoulder to face him.

He was still laughing when James' fist connected with his jaw, shooting his head backward in an attack he clearly hadn't been anticipating. Blood spurted from his lips, darkening his pale skin, as his eye and then his nose were also assaulted by James' still ice cold fists. James kept punching and pulling back his bloodied fists and punching again in a scarily mechanical fashion until Sirius, Maguire and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team managed to grab him by the shoulders, vainly trying to contain his struggling form. His attack had been too quick for the Slytherins to counterattack; they could only huddle by their leader, who lay moaning on the ground in a heap of scarlet blood, emerald robes and slick rain, since they were powerless without his orders to lead them. Another player, the gorilla-like Morell, had grabbed his wand threateningly upon the attack but Sirius had beaten him to the punch, literally; he too lay on the ground, knocked out stone cold. A sense of pride rushed through James at his oldest friend's actions but it didn't last long; the animalistic rage overtook him again, dominating any sense of logic and reason as he once again turned his gaze to Malfoy. He twisted and tried to escape the grasp his teammates had on him, filled with a sick, desperate need to feel bones crunch under his hands; to see red blood painted across his hands and know it was Malfoy's; to hurt him, make him feel pain, to kill him. That was the only logical thing running through his oddly detached mind: kill Malfoy, kill him.

"James! Oy, that was my hair, you idiot! Hey! Prongs!" Sirius shouted at the enraged figure clad in Gryffindor robes that was currently slamming into his, Maguire's and the Gryffindor team's barricading arms. James roared--there really was no other word for the cry that escaped his mouth--in anger, his eyes wild with rage behind his rain splattered glasses.

"Move, goddammit, move!" he ordered, his voice no longer resembling the friendly, casual tone that belonged to James Potter. Blind fury coursed through each syllable and James visibly shook with anger as a vein thumped erratically near his dark brows. "I said, move! I'm going to kill him, I swear to Merlin. Fuck it, MOVE!"

Sirius finally slapped him across the face, the crack resonating like a gun shot across the panicked, crowded field. James slumped forward onto his shoulder, once more lifeless as all of his energy drained out of him for the second time that afternoon. He looked up at Sirius, slightly dazed and panting heavily. The frightening, unrecognizable figure that had stood before them seconds ago was replaced, once more, by James Potter; a more subdued, slightly lethargic James, but James nonetheless. He drew a deep breath, still shaking as Sirius gripped him by the shoulder and looked at him critically, shaking him. "Calm the fuck down, man. It's all right. She's all right."

James didn't respond; he wasn't sure if he could attempt speech at the moment. He gazed at Lily, a tender expression of fierce worry stamped across his face as he drank in the image of her lying helpless and unconscious on the rain soaked Quidditch pitch. He wanted to do something--anything--that could make her better, make her heal. He wanted to see her stand up and starting shrieking at Malfoy, her auburn hair tossing with each accusatory jab of her finger, watch her be the one to slap him across the face. It was unnatural to see Lily still and unmoving when she was normally so vibrant and vivaciously alive. It was scary; he was scared.

"C'mon, you. Get up! Up!" Madam Hooch hovered at Malfoy's side, trying to remove the blemish that was disfiguring her beautiful Quidditch pitch. Malfoy merely moaned, weakly motioning towards his nose and face.

"Oh, for goodness sakes', Malfoy. You need a little more backbone if a mere punch to the nose is going to knock you out for the count. Hagrid!"

Lumbering heavily over towards them, a very furry looking Hagrid joined the crowd. His fur coat was damp, so he very much resembled a huge wet dog, especially when he shook the gathering raindrops off, spraying everyone in a five feet radius. His shining black eyes glanced down in disgust at the crumpled figure at his feet and he grumbled, already knowing what Madam Hooch had in mind for him.

"Get yer sorry arse up, Malfoy. C'mon, move, eh!" he rumbled in his deep, hearty voice, nudging the whimpering figure with his dinner plate sized boot. Seeing that Lucius was in no way getting up by himself, Hagrid reached down and threw Malfoy over his shoulder like a huge rag doll. Being thrown and jolted caused a new round of moaning and whimpering from the limp body atop Hagrid's shoulder.

"Aw, c'mon, yeh baby! Be a man abou' it!" Hagrid replied brightly to the moaning figure slumped over his shoulders. The gentle giant slyly looked at James out of the corner of his dark, sparkling eyes and winked, tossing Lucius a bit more than was necessary. A new series of whines broke out at the sudden jostling, at which even the grim faced James had to smile, if only for a moment. Then his eye caught the sight of Lily, lying motionless on the ground as Hooch and McGonagall attended to her. The distant figure of Madam Pomfrey, hurrying through the crowd, could be seen a ways off. His heart sank, while a fiery hatred bubbled under his skin, causing him to clench his teeth together tightly.

"Oy. You. Let's go. Keep it in check, man. Just keep it in check," a very muddy, sweaty Sirius cautioned, grabbing his best friend by the shoulders and shaking him again, though more gently this time. "He'll get his, don't worry."

James growled softly, a low, feral sound that rumbled ominously in the very back of his throat. Sirius clapped him on the shoulder once and gave him the hairy eyeball, clearly stating that he was watching him. James nodded stiffly; it was just a sign of their deep friendship that they could communicate without verbally expressing anything at all.

The group trooped up to the castle with Lily floating eerily behind them on a stretcher someone had thought to conjure up, and into Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore sat, serene, calm and expectant, at his desk, inspecting his papery thin hands that were folded quietly in front of him. As the bloody, soaking wet, dirty group of teenagers entered the room, Dumbledore looked up at them and his usually smiling face took a southward journey.

"Now, as I understand it, a rather complicated course of action took place after the Gryffindor team won the Quidditch game, to which I offer my congratulations," Dumbledore began, once the gang of ragtag teenagers had finally taken their seats. Malfoy moaned loudly when Hagrid had set him down violently, forced to limp pathetically to the chair on James' right since no one was willing to assist him at all. Sirius coughed loudly from his position against the wall at this façade; the cough, however, oddly sounded like, "Bastard." James couldn't be sure if he heard correctly since there was a still an odd ringing reverberating through his ears that had yet to cease since his fight with Malfoy on the pitch. "To be totally fair, I should like to hear both accounts from Mister Potter and Mister Malfoy. Would either of you care to start?"

The room remained silent since neither boy spoke up. Malfoy sighed self-righteously, playing the act of the martyr. James threw him a furious glance, his fingers tingling in memory of the connection and imprint they had made on the Slytherin's pale and still bloodied face. James couldn't bring himself to speak, knowing he would either start punching Malfoy again or unleash the curious sensation that was hardening into a lump in his throat. His heart beat against his chest almost painfully as he thought of Lily, wondering where she was and how she was doing at that moment. Was she awake? Was she in any pain? Dumbledore's voice brought him out of his reverie as he addressed him.

"Well, if there are no volunteers...James, would you be so kind as to explain, from your point of view, what took place on the Quidditch field?"

A moment of silence passed as James tried to compose himself. He sighed heavily after a minute and took a deep breath. "Well, I looked up at Lily and saw Malfoy behind her with..." James said, explaining that after he had caught the Snitch, he looked up to Lily and saw Malfoy with the Beater's bat, rear back and slam the Bludger towards Lily. He then went on to say how Lily was knocked off her broom by the force of the Bludger and his desperate attempt to save her before her body hit the ground, broken and mangled. As he told the story, his memory flashed icily clear scenes of the accident; Lily's jubilant face smiling down at him; the leather bat smacking into the flesh of the Bludger; a pale figure whirling towards the pitiless ground...

After James finished his narration, Malfoy had slowly sunk far down into his seat, his face a blank mask to his true emotions. Dumbledore looked at him, his face giving away nothing of his own opinion, and said, "Mr. Malfoy. Would you care to give me your side of the story, please?"

After a moment of incredible tension, Malfoy, slowly but surely, shook his head. Maguire gasped quietly and even James had to shoot a look of confusion tinged with barely contained rage at his enemy. What was he playing at? Surely he could spout off some story designed to twist the events in his favor, to make it all look like a simple accident. James had been counting on that much from Malfoy; it was the only thing restraining him in his seat now since he had rationalized that he would deck Malfoy once they left the office for lying.

"Are you sure? Please, Lucius, surely you can add something or give me any reason behind your violent actions on the field today?" Dumbledore looked at Malfoy almost pleadingly, not wanting to have to condemn him. Again the pale haired boy remained silent, the swift twisting of his neck conveying his only answer.

Dumbledore sighed quietly. He looked down at his wrinkled hands again, studying them for a few silent moments and then spoke, fixing his blue eyed gaze on the Slytherin. "Then I am regretfully forced to say, Mr. Malfoy, I am going to have to ask you to please pack your belongings and leave Hogwarts. You are being expelled for attempted, if not intentional, assault. Do you understand the gravity of what you have done, of what could have happened? Imagine, if you will, if James had not had the quick thinking to save Ms. Evans. She could have died, for which you would be charged with homicide, not assault. If Ms. Evans had actually died, your punishment would be much worse than this, I assure you. If it had not been for Mr. Potter's quick thinking, Ms. Evans most certainly would have died from the fall alone."

Malfoy's face turned an interesting shade of scarlet. His once slumped frame now shot out of his chair and Lucius Malfoy was the one to lose his so carefully monitored cool now.

"You can't do this!" he screamed, unadulterated hatred glaring from his pale eyes at the Headmaster. His face flushed and he looked as if he wanted to say more, but he stopped himself. Looking down, he breathed heavily for a few moments, as if he was trying to compose himself. His eyes darted up, shining more maliciously than James had ever seen them. He sneered and laughed. His sharp burst of laughter ricocheted around the stony, silent room like gun shots off of a metal shield. It was harsh and grating, not at all pleasant. The condescending expression on Lucius' face and his continued laughter once more threw James back into a spiral of anger and he quickly shot out of his chair, shoving it back harshly as he reached over, not exactly knowing what he was going to do next. All he knew was that he would never let Malfoy insult Dumbledore in such a way, not after all that he had done this afternoon. But just as quickly as he had risen, Sirius had leapt out from his slouched stance against the background and tightly grabbed hold of James' arms behind his back as he thrashed against him, trying to break free.

"No!" Sirius hissed, tugging James back even more forcefully. Malfoy laughed again, only furthering James' rage and he growled, grinding his teeth angrily. "James, stop! Don't let him get to you!"

"Gentlemen. I will not tolerate this," Dumbledore said suddenly, with a force unlike the usually complacent temperament he maintained. He too had risen out of his seat, unnoticed by the teenage boys. "If we cannot settle this--"

"No worries, Dumbledore," Malfoy interjected rudely. He too stood, fluidly slipping out from his chair and away from James. "I won't be tolerating this either. This whole idea of higher education has grown boring; I'm wearied by all this petty immaturity. Oh, and I won't be expelled; I'd rather drop out than let Hogwarts have the satisfaction of thinking they can order me about. I answer to no one but my Lord. I'm off--but I will be back." And with that, he stalked out of the room, slamming the thick mahogany door behind his retreating figure. Later, as the story of Malfoy's departure got around, the rumors whispered in the hall told of Malfoy going off to many exotic destinations, each one as strange as the last. A sudden dearth of Slytherins did not go unnoticed by the other students either.

A slightly tense moment of silence followed Malfoy's outburst and the shocking outcome. James slumped against Sirius and leaned forward, placing his hands heavily on the Headmaster's desk, panting. He turned around suddenly, a mad urge to just do something coursing through him. His frenzied eyes landed across the room at the wall and he strode over to it, punching the stone wall violently, hearing his knuckles break up impact.

"James!" Maguire cried, her face pale with fear and worry.He turned He swore quietly under his breath, immediately regretting his rash decision. He shook his hand, which only made it worse as he felt the now disconnected joints slap against each other under his skin. Fiery pain bloomed underneath his bleeding knuckles but emotionally, he felt better. Not the wisest decision he could have made, he realized, as Dumbledore quickly administered to his hand and gently reconnected the bones with a slight touch of his wand. James looked up at the wizened man gratefully, finally returning to a semblance of humanity after the crazed torrent of emotions he had been experiencing that day.

"Thank you, sir," he said, shaking his hand without feeling dynamite explode along the knuckles this time. "I'm sorry about that."

"Never fear, James," Dumbledore murmured calmly, the twinkling once again returning to his eyes. "I myself, as a young man, often punched many a stationary object in times of frustration. My numerous scars and twisted bones can attest to that. I would, however, suggest a visit to Madam Pomfrey still, just in case. You know, I'm sure, how protective she is."

"Sure thing, sir," James said, smiling for the first time since he had caught the Snitch that morning, which felt like years ago. He got up, shook Dumbledore's hand and was halfway across the threshold of the door when Dumbledore spoke again.

"Mr. Potter, it would be prudent of you to not mention what happened here this afternoon. Just to be safe, as always," he warned, the twinkle in his eye dimming ever so slightly. James nodded solemnly and turned again as Dumbledore called out, "Give my best to Ms. Evans and that I wish for her to have a speedy recovery!"

The remark hit James like a ton of bricks. His eyes widened behind his glasses and he turned to face Sirius and Maguire on either side of him.

"Lily!" he croaked frantically, taking off down the stairs in a dead sprint.

~*~*~

With a sudden gurgle of her stomach, an extremely groggy and ravenously hungry Lily Evans awoke, finding herself in a hospital bed with only a flimsy hospital gown on. As movement returned to her stiff figure, Lily saw--or rather felt--James sitting next to her in a chair with his head leaning against his arm, dozing. His slightly damp and warm hand was limply holding hers.

That's nice, she thought fuzzily, her mind clouded with whatever potion Madam Pomfrey had given her. She smiled to herself and sat up a bit in the hospital bed to stretch what she now realized were very cramped and aching muscles. James, startled by the movement, woke up with a start and jumped wildly. Lily barked a laugh at the frantic expression on his face but gasped sharply as a searing pain shot through her stomach and her once sleepy mind suddenly became sharply aware. Tears stung her eyes at the pain, but she grimaced and held back from crying out.

James stood up and stretched and, with a slightly cocky grin, asked, "Permission to touch?" Lily rolled her eyes at the question and gazed heavenward. James, taking her answer as a "yes", gently pushed her back into a less upright position, saying, "Madam Pomfrey said that you broke a rib from hitting your broom in the--the fall. You also somehow, God only knows how, broke your ankle but it's definitely getting better. You're just going to have to walk on crutches for a couple of days."

She winced at the news and then asked, curious, "And Madame Pomfrey couldn't fix that?"

James took his seat at her bedside and placed his hands behind his head, elbows jutting out to the side. "Well, since you're still kind of technically "growing"," he said, inserting his own air quotes, "Madame Pomfrey didn't want to screw with your bones that much. She fixed every thing about, oh, eighty five percent, and wants your body to do the rest of the repairs."

Lily sighed slightly and then asked hesitantly, "How long have I been out?"

"Three days. Pomfrey had to knock you out with some potion so you wouldn't be moving around and fussing that much while she helped your body heal. I've been here waiting," he finished with a grin that, unfortunately, turned into a huge yawn, giving away his fatigue. Lily looked at James as he unsuccessfully tried to cover his yawn and said slowly, "You saved my life James."

"Oh no, don't you even--"

"Come off it, James. You know damn well what would've happened if you hadn't done what you did. I'd be a pile of mush on the Quidditch pitch," she gave him a weak smile and shook her head. "James, you don't give yourself enough credit sometimes when you do things. Brave things, that other people wouldn't," she added. "I really mean it. You've done--you do--a lot of brave, decent things."

There was a brief, stunned silence after her words and during that silence, Lily sat up slightly, leaned towards James and looked at him carefully. He looked back, his dark eyes mildly confused. She smiled and asked quietly, "Permission to touch?" He grinned widely and nodded, leaning in closer towards the bed as she kissed him for the second time that week. James' mouth tasted like candy, which only made her hungrier and he laughed against her lips when her stomach growled in response to the taste. She grinned and kissed him only more feverishly, hardly believing she was actually doing this. His arm wrapped around her back, gently guiding her closer to him without moving her in a way that would cause her pain. They stayed like this, for a minute or forever, deliriously drinking each other in. Paradise, or what felt like it, was then shattered as two familiar people entered the Hospital Wing, laughing loudly and completely ruining the moment. It was Sirius and Maguire, of course.

When Maguire saw Lily entangled with James' face, she let out a brief, "Oh my God!" and in one fluid moment, turned around and yanked Sirius by the tie out of the large mahogany doors of the Hospital Wing. Not before Sirius offered a bit of wingman advice that caused Lily to whip her head around in fury and shout an obscenity at him that had Madam Pomfrey come rushing out of her office to chastise them. Blushing madly, Lily retreated back into a more dignified position on her bed after Madam Pomfrey settled her once more as James ran a hand through his now even more untidy hair. With a definitely pinker hue coloring both of their cheeks, each looked away, the foreboding sense of awkwardness creeping into the room. Lily laughed suddenly, picturing Sirius' face when he was tugged out by Maguire. James looked at her curiously and Lily smiled brightly, awkwardness be damned, and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him out of his chair and towards the bed.

"This is me saying thank you," she informed him, before she ducked her head close to his and tasted candy once more.

~*~*~

Two days later, Lily was released from the hospital wing. Her rib was now no longer broken, thanks to nature and Madam Pomfrey's magical skill and her leg was definitely better than it had been. Though still a little limp and weak, it was a large improvement over being completely useless as it had been a few days before. It had to be said, though: the Hospital Wing had never looked brighter and cheerier. It was decorated with elaborate bouquets of flowers and jolly get-well cards, serenaded by singing teddy bears and filled with candy and other sugary treats in almost every open space imaginable. Friends, acquaintances and even teachers had dropped off the gifts for the entire week of Lily's stay in the Hospital. The most unusual gift of all, a shockingly pink, feathery musical parrot-like confection, had arrived unnoticed one day until Sirius had the misfortune of knocking it over; at the assault, the parrot immediately burst into song and refused to cease with its serenading for a good hour. Exasperated, James had finally silenced it with a strict Silencing spell but Lily knew the damned bird would find a way to make its musical talents known again eventually. Despite the sole unwanted visitor, Lily was shocked; she had never known that so many people actually cared this much about her. She often sat curled in bed, surrounded by the gifts and smiled slightly, just mulling things over.

"Ow, um, Madam Pomfrey..."

"Not now, Miss Evans. This is just an examination to make sure you're well enough to go back to class. That is what you want, I presume?"

"Yes, but I don't think my leg is supposed to go that way--!"

"Oh, hush. You're fine, Miss Evans."

Loaded down like pack mules with the array of gifts and treats to carry back to the Heads' dorm, Sirius, James and Maguire lounged around the wing, waiting for the final go ahead. Hidden behind a curtain, they laughed quietly to themselves at the exchange they were eavesdropping on. The strong willed teenager was clearly at her wits end with the equally stubborn older woman, with whom she had been butting heads with all week. Passive-aggressive techniques were their specialties and it infuriated both women that the other was a worthy opponent of their verbal battles.

Through the curtain surrounding Lily's bed, Madam Pomfrey's voice could be heard throughout the ward saying in a slightly gleeful voice, "I'm so sorry, Ms. Evans. There don't seem to be any more crutches. I'll let you have the ones that Rebecca Walsh is using but those will be returned tomorrow." Throwing back the curtains to reveal a rather pissed off redhead lying angrily in her bed, the healer asked, "Do you think that you could manage just to your room?"

Lily blanched a little at the idea, but she nodded stiffly anyway and prepared herself to walk for the first time in five days. Maguire and Sirius charmed the bags to float and waited expectantly by the door. She hesitantly put her feet out of bed and stood up. For a second, it actually looked like she was going to be able to bear the wait and she flashed a brilliant smile in triumph before she immediately crumpled to the floor. It seemed, after all, that her leg was too weak to carry her.

"Well, shit," Lily mumbled from the floor of the ward. "How am I going to get back to my dorm?"

Her question was answered as James quickly scooped her up off of the floor, while she yelped and protested all the way, and they trooped out. Walking through the halls of Hogwarts in James Potter's arms was nothing less than experiencing her own personal circle of hell as her face turned scarlet at all the people pointing and whispering to their friends at her. It wasn't that Lily had any problem of being in James' arms--quite the contrary, though she would never have admitted it--but the fact that everyone, everyone could see her in such a weakened state is what made her want to crawl into a tiny hole for the rest of eternity.

"Put. Me. Down," she hissed through gritted teeth into James' ear.

"No. You want to fall down again? In front of all these people?" he answered nonchalantly, knowing he had caught her in his argument. She groaned loudly, choosing to hide her face in his neck rather than face everyone. They continued up the winding, seemingly never-ending staircases towards the dorms as more people gawked at the scene before them.

"Don't you all have classes to be in?!" Lily shouted as they passed by a group of giggling second years before they took the final staircase leading up to their private dorms. She mumbled angrily to herself, face flushing, as James knocked open the door to her bed and stretched her out gently while she continued to fuss.

She looked up suddenly at him, a look of panic on her face. "Damn. We have the rounds tonight, don't we?"

James grimaced, suddenly remembering. "Oh yeah. We do."

"No worries, it'll be fine," she promised, gritting her teeth into a forced grin as she imagined the afternoon of regaining the ability to walk that now loomed ahead of her. He nodded slightly and looked at her, opening his mouth to say what his eyes already plainly stated. Lily looked up at him, waiting but James seemed to change his mind and, shaking his head, went to leave.

"James? Thank you," she whispered suddenly, just as he was about to exit. He turned back and looked at her, her own eyes wide and now filled with emotion. "I really do mean it."

~*~*~

I truly, truly hate hormones.

Lily's mind was racing. I mean, here we are, almost two months ago I hated him and now here I am snogging him. What the hell, seriously. Well, I can't say he's not mildly attractive, since he is. He's pretty funny, now that he's stopped pranking people, too. Somewhat stopped, but you can't have everything in life. He also saved my fucking life, which is a bonus. Fuck. I hate myself--

The anonymous parrot suddenly squawked to life, screeching in an incredibly off-tune aria, "On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese! I lost my poor meatball, when I happened to sneeze!"

"God damn it, shut the hell up," she yelled at it, surprising even herself at the cursing she was doing. Teenage life crises brought out the worst in her. Did she like James or not? Could she ever admit it to herself if she did, after everything that had happened in the events of their seven year long, tumultuous relationship?

The parrot's screeching voice pierced her ear drums relentlessly and Lily, in a fit of rage, Accio'd it over to silence it. No matter what she did, however, could quiet the bird. She threw it against the wall in frustration, shrieking in anger as it bounced back onto her bed. She picked it up to throw it again when she noticed a scribble of black ink on the back of the bird's head. The letters MBAB were scrawled over the feathers in a minute signature that Lily immediately recognized.

"Oh, you're kidding," she hissed, sitting up in bed as she immediately began planning the imminent and painful death of her friend. "Maguire!" she shrieked, louder and longer this time. She reached for a piece of parchment, quickly scribbled an obscenity filled note to her friend and charmed it, sending it flying out under the crack of her bedroom door, off on its mission to find Maguire. She knew it wouldn't do her any good, but she continued screaming for a couple of minutes to get some of her emotions out until Maguire finally raced up the stairs, laughing and unable to breathe.

"Figured it out, have you? It took me awhile to actually charm it and get it to work, but it was worth it. Do you like it?" She burst out laughing again at Lily's murderous expression.

"I'm about two seconds away from gouging your eyes out with a rusty knife if that bird isn't out of my room in three seconds," she hissed, throwing her head back in frustration.

Maguire, still laughing hysterically, grabbed the parrot and retorted, "I bet deep down you love him, Lils, just like you really do love James!"

She ran out of the room, with Lily throwing insults and pillows at her back. She giggled and ran down the winding staircase to go meet Sirius at the lake, listening to Lily yell obscenities at her as she ran.

~*~*~

"What?" Lily asked later with a rueful smile when she answered the door to her room. James, shocked into silence, merely pointed at her ankle in confusion, unable to picture Lily walking a few hours after he had had to carry her. "I'm a tough girl. I bounce right back."

Then she flounced--as much as someone can flounce with a sprained ankle and leg--out the door with a gaping James behind her. If, by "bouncing back" meant practicing all afternoon to prepare her ankle and leg for the night ahead by first limping, then slowly graduating to walking around her room in addition to colorfully swearing, then Lily had indeed, "bounced back". They walked the corridors and talked about anything that came to mind, their laughter ringing off of the silent, stone walls that they patrolled. Lily could not remember the last time she had laughed so much and smiled at the thought, though a twinge of misgiving thrummed through her stomach as looked at James' smiling face. The rug beneath her feet bunched under her and she slipped just then, sliding on her bad ankle as her arms wind milled around her, grabbing hold of James and slamming him into the wall next to her as she regained her balance.

"Oh, God, sorry! I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed quietly as James smacked into the hard, cold wall, sending a painting and its occupants sliding to the right. Pressed against the wall, James looked down at her and she looked up at him, already familiar with the pattern they seemed to have established before they kissed. She knew, with every feminine instinct in her body, what was going to happen next and the tiny uncomfortable feeling in her stomach dissipated into a sense of anxious anticipation. James wrapped his arm around her lower back, slowly pulled her up to his height and enveloped her lips with his own. Lily's eyes fluttered weakly and she closed them while leaning her head upwards, towards James. She ran her hand through his messy, thick hair--the very hair she hated yet loved so much--and further closed the gap between them, molding her lips into his with even more pressure. James moved slightly and the kiss turned deeper and she was on her tip toes, desperately trying to reach him so the moment wouldn't end and she could stay like this forever. She could feel his heartbeat drumming quickly as she pulled him closer, desperate for more.

Lily would look back on this moment later and realize that all of their snogging sessions seemed to end in the same fashion. A shrilly scream broke through the now silent hall as Peeves screamed, "Kissing couple! Fourth floor corridor! Come quick!" Ever the instigator, he zoomed away, laughing manically to spread the news as the two jumped apart instantaneously at the intrusion. They broke apart, their breathing almost on the verge panting, blushing furiously. Lily looked at James' face, his hair messier than ever and glasses tilted slightly, and started to giggle. James looked down and smiled slowly and then joined in; soon, they were laughing so hard, tears were running down their faces. Lily laughed and wiped some tears away.

"Oh God, we're so screwed for tomorrow," she said, fanning the tears of laughter still running down her face.

"You know what, Lily? I don't really care."

She nodded sagely, fixing her hair into a more presentable fashion. "After all, as Scarlett O'Hara said, 'Tomorrow's another day,'" she said, quoting the famous Southern belle. James looked at her with a confused expression on his face.

"Who is that?" he asked, making a face. "And who in their right mind names their kid Scarlett?"

"You must know Scarlett O'Hara! You know, Gone with the Wind? It's a classic! Oh wait...it's a Muggle book. You've probably never even heard of it. It's from the States, anyway, so you definitely don't know it. It's my favorite book--never mind," she mumbled, shaking her head. She remembered how two years ago she had found the book in her parents' library and had fallen in love, dreaming about the warm, sunny afternoons of the Old South as she sat in her father's battered old recliner in rainy, gloomy Britain. It was still her favorite book, even after all of the others of millions of tomes she had read.

"No, no! Seriously, who are you talking about?" James asked. She tried to dissuade him, but James was interested now.

As they walked back to their dorms, Lily explained the whole story and, since she wasn't finished, she continued telling him the story in the sitting room with the fire. Sometime after she was retelling him about Atlanta was being ransacked by the Yankees, they fell asleep on the couch, the fire slowly dimming as the sun broke through the black sky and dawn rose.

~*~*~

"Good morning, Hogwarts population! It's a beautiful Saturday morning and--what the fuck?" Maguire and Sirius walked into the Heads dorms, his arms encircling her waist tightly. Maguire stopped her news cast dead in her tracks.

James and Lily.

On the couch.

Their bare legs peeking out from the blanket.

In some bizarre accident last night, the legs of James' pants had gotten pulled up farther than the blanket. But of course, to Maguire and Sirius, that's not how it looked at all. Maguire was looking on in shock and disbelieving horror. Had her best friends done the unthinkable?

"The fuck happened here?" she demanded, horror lacing her voice.

Sirius was doubled up on the ground, smacking the wooden floor with his hand and clutching his stomach, roaring in silent laughter.

Maguire took a deep breath and ear piercingly shrieked, "Lillian Marie Evans! How dare you? You are only seventeen, far too young to be having sex!"

James and Lily woke up with a jolt. Maguire was pacing the floor, ranting and throwing up her hands, shouting to Kingdom Come about how education should come first and never had she ever seen anything of the like, something about protection-

Maguire's rampage turned to James as she realized that they were now fully awake.

"And you! You scheming, dirty little berk! The hell do you think you're playing at, huh? What was with all of the "Oh my God, I can't live without her, she's the only one for me" crap before, you git? Were you only trying to get into her knickers?! Jesus Christ! If she winds up pregnant, so help me God, I will hunt you down and rip your lousy, black heart straight from your chest--"

"Maguire! Maguire! Shut up!" Lily screamed over Maguire's rampage. "James and I didn't sleep together last night. Oh my God, we did our rounds, we talked and I guess--I guess we fell asleep! And where do you have to right to come barging in here, screaming to high heaven about sex and James being a git and all of that?"

Lily drew a breath to continue and Sirius murmured, "Fell asleep, mhm. I bet you guys fell asleep." Sirius winked suggestively and James laughed sharply which quickly turned into a cough after Lily glared daggers at him.

"That's it. Out. Get out," Lily stated, her eyes fairly gleaming in rage.

"Sure thing, Lils. Whatever you say," Sirius winked suggestively again and laughed. Lily made to get up and slap him but her ankle gave way and she ended up in a heap on the floor.

"I hate you, all of you," she growled from her position on the floor. James pulled her up and she had to make do with glaring at Maguire and Sirius, who were clutching each other, laughing in delight at the situation. James finally had had enough.

"Get out!" he roared. Maguire and Sirius looked up, shocked, and ran. Lily looked at him and she burst out laughing.

"What perverts. I mean, seriously..." she giggled. She slowly stretched and twisted her ankle a few times to return some semblance of movement to it. Lily stood up carefully and grinned when she didn't fall. He grinned back, pleased that the simple exchange made her grin even wider.

"Oh, um, Lily?" James asked, trying to sound casual, as she got up to go get changed into fresh clothes. "Do you wanna come to Hogsmeade with me? There's another one today," he asked. She thought for a second, smiled even wider than she had before and nodded. James whooped and ran to his room. Today's going to be great.

~*~*~

Later that morning, Sirius, Maguire, Anna, Remus, Lily and James all walked to Hogsmeade. It was the first time they had all been together for awhile. They talked noisily, teasing and laughing. After arriving in Hogsmeade, the group split up. The girls went to the new shop called Bella. It was a jewelry boutique and clothing store, home to all sorts of little trinkets. The boys, predictably, headed to Zonko's and Honeydukes.

"Oh! Look at this necklace!" Anna squealed, leaning over the sparkling glass case, silver chain with moving golden butterfly dangling between her pale fingers. Awwing and oohing occurred from the enchanted girls.

"Do you girls like it? I can give it to you half off for Hogwarts students," an elderly woman perched on a rickety stool replied from behind the counter. It was the owner of the shop, Bella Strega. Her pile of graying, silvery hair, bejeweled eyeglasses and the numerous, glittering shawls she wore wrapped around her thin, bony shoulders gave her the appearance of a soothsayer of old.

"Oh no, thanks," Lily said with a regretful sigh. "We're just looking." She glanced at the necklace wistfully. "Where did you get this? It's absolutely gorgeous!"

"Oh, the pretty little butterfly? I made it," she said casually, arranging her pouf of hair and sipping a cup of tea balanced next to her on her stool. The girls gaped at the old woman, who was evidently, a genius in their eyes.

"I'm sorry, but did you say you made this?" Maguire squeaked out in disbelief. The thought of making an intricate, magically charmed necklace like that was far beyond her. After seventeen years of life, magical training aside, she could barely manage to make her own bed.

"Well, yes. It's actually quite easy when you know what you're doing," she said, looking at them curiously. The girls gazed longingly at the dazzling rows of jewelry that would have emptied their bank accounts and then moved back to the clothing section. On a dare, they each scoured the store for outrageous outfits, such as Maguire's garish orange jeans and the silky, bell sleeved, striped yellow shirt that draped off of her figure. With the silver, five inch heels she dug up somewhere, they made her 5'12'', practically six feet tall. Anna had put together a short, showy silver skirt that reached about mid thigh with a droopy men's working shirt. A magenta Muggle cowboy hat that read "Don't Mess With Texas, Y'all!" was perched on her head as she twirled around in cowboy boots.

Lily's was, hands down, the most unique, to say the least. She'd pulled on a risqué short jean skirt with fur magenta leggings, coupled with a kimono that seemed to be cut off in the middle for some inexplicable reason. On her arms, she had neon pink gloves that reached past her elbows. Knee high black boots with singing tassels on the end adorned her legs. It was at that moment, when she stepped out of the dressing room, that James, Sirius and Remus chose to walk in.

Lily shrieked a little and hid behind Maguire, who side stepped her gracefully and shouted, "James dahhh-ling! Come check out Lily's new outfit!"

The boys walked over and Sirius started cracking up at Maguire, who was trying to pose like a model and tripping over everything. Remus just looked like he was trying very, very hard not to laugh at Lily, wisely knowing what the consequences would be if he dared. James was staring openly, practically gawking at the bizarrely clad Lily. Lily, fuming at Maguire, decided to do something.

She jumped on top of her and Maguire fell backwards, screaming, "Molester!"

They rolled around for a few minutes, pinching and slapping feebly, before Sirius plucked Maguire up and James hauled Lily off the floor. Each boy held back the spitting girls, who were flailing to get back to fighting.

"You know, Lily if we do fight anymore, you'll hurt your ankle," Maguire retorted sourly. Maguire and Lily may have loved fighting, but Maguire was worried about her best friend.

And Lily's ankle was hurting. Quite a lot, in fact.

She glared at her and said, "Fine, then. Do you want to call a truce?" And she stuck out her neon pink gloved hand. They shook, trying to maintain straight faces and then gave into giggling. The girls actually bought the outfits--Maguire and Lily did anyway; the ever modest Anna was horrified at the very idea--and they left the store, heading back to Hogwarts. They decided to stop at the lake and relax for a bit, soaking up the late afternoon rays of sun.

"Hey," Maguire suggested drowsily from her comfortable position in Sirius' lap. "Let's play Truth or Dare!"

Lily, Anna, and Remus groaned, but Sirius and James looked excited about the idea.

"Maguire, may I remind you, the last time we did that I had to sing? Not a pleasant memory," Lily said, while blushing.

"I don't care about the cripple's wants, Lil. We're playing! Sirius, Truth or Dare?" she asked, turning around to face Sirius.

He thought and said, "Dare, I suppose."

Maguire grinned and said, "I dare you...to turn your face purple and do a handstand, while singing "I'm a Little Teapot".

Sirius complied, turning his face purple which made him look like an eggplant, turned a handstand after five tries and started singing. After 5 minutes, he collapsed amid his laughing friends.

"Oh Christ, that brings back memories," Remus said, wiping away tears.

FLASHBACK

While sleeping peacefully, Sirius' friends had no idea what evil was about to befall their young, innocent souls. Remus, ever the early riser, started to sit up when he was greeted with a high, screechy voice screaming: "Each morning I get up, I die a little, woooo! Can barely stand on my feet, baby girl! Take a look in the mirror and cry, 'Lord, how you've blessed me with good looks!' But then I take a look at James and I spent many years believing in him but he just can't get no relief! Somebody, ooh somebody, somebody, can anybody find James...somebody to love woooo! Find James somebody to love! Find James somebody to love! Why won't Lily Evans, woooo girl, love this here James...yeah, yeah, Lily Evans!"

By now, the entire tower was up and wondering, "Who the hell just got the Cruciatus Curse or killed Mrs. Norris?"

Once Remus unplugged his ears and squinted cautiously into the gloom of the dimly lit dorm room, he could see that Sirius was standing on his bed in a heroic pose, screaming into one of his six hairbrushes with his then scrawny, bare chest and his tie wrapped around his head, swinging wildly. He cracked up, clutching his stomach as tears of mirth ran down his face. Sirius bowed, thanking his audience until an equally scrawny James finally managed to untangle himself from his bed sheets and made a beeline for his supposed best friend. James, who was understandably livid, grabbed the songbird by the neck and physically threw Sirius out of the second years' dorm, yelling, "Fuck off, you git!"

As he slammed the door shut behind him, he turned slowly to his bedmates and growled, "We never, ever speak of that again."With that ominous message, he stomped back to his bed and crawled under the sheets, determined to spend the rest of his life there.

That is, until he got hungry.

END OF FLASHBACK

"I remember that! My ears were practically bleeding for hours!" James remarked, recognition on his face.

"My God, I forgot about that," Lily cried, as she began laughing at the memory. She too had been awoken by Sirius' singing and thought suicide or a two person homicide would have been the course of action that day if she encountered James and his friends.

"Well, whatever. Sirius, to be frank and since I'm your girlfriend, I'm entitled to say this; you absolutely blow at singing. And, it's your turn," Maguire said, still giggling at the memory. Sirius turned around and grinned, considering his victims.

"Hm, the choices, the choices...I think I'll choose wonderful Lily-gal! Truth or Dare?" he asked, grinning evilly at her.

"We all know you're just gonna make me do something awful anyway," she replied from her position on the grass, where she lay languidly while twirling a flower. "Just give me the dare and get it over with."

"Oh, gotta be a good one," Sirius said, contemplating his choices. "Do us--and by "us", I mean James--a favor and strip down and swim in the lake!" he replied with a triumphant grin. She looked at him in horror and paled considerably at the thought.

"Aw, c'mon, Sirius," James began in protest, looking worriedly at Lily's ankle. "Her ankle's bad--"

"Ah, ah, ah," Sirius countered, wagging his finger at his friend. "A Dare's a Dare, as Lily so politely reminded us at the beginning of the year."

James opened his mouth to retaliate again, but it was Lily who spoke this time.

"He's right, as much as I hate to admit it. It's fine, it's just a damn Dare. But fuck you, anyway," she called over her should as she got up and hobbled to the edge of the thickly shrouded forest. "Sirius, after this, I'm going to kill you in the most inhumane, torturous way imaginable," she growled, Summoning her bathing suit from the tower. A few minutes later, she appeared, dressed in an olive green bikini. James was trying, and failing quite miserably, to avert his eyes as the others laughed at his expression. She jumped in the lake and reappeared, shrieking and her teeth chattering.

"Shit, it's freezing! I'm going to catch hypothermia!" She glared at Sirius, who was rolling around in the grass, laughing and desperately trying to catch his breath. James' mouth was now open and he was obviously staring at Lily.

Sirius recovered and said, panting very hard, "I haven't had this much fun since James, uh, never mind. Well, Lils, you've got to swim, I think six laps is sufficient. Get going!"

Lily began doing a half-hazard doggie paddle around the small lake, intermittently calling out what she planned to do to Sirius when she got out of the lake, and was almost on her third lap when she stopped, panting a little and shrieked.

"There's--there's something in here. Oh shit, there's something in here," she yelped, looking down in the murky depths below her in fear.

As soon as the words left her mouth, a large head appeared that was momentarily followed by an even larger body. Its head seemed to be made out of seaweed and kelp, while its' body had a sleek, almost velvety sheen. The serpentine body arose even more out of the lake and was revealed to have had looped itself around the perimeter of the lake.

"What the hell...?" Maguire asked, standing up and looking on in fascination.

"I think, though I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure that's a kelpie," Remus said, looking at it interestedly.

"What do I do?" Lily whispered, trying her best not to move or arouse the creature, which was circling her slowly. Everyone looked at Remus, considering that he was the one who had always passed Care of Magical Creatures.

"Uh, Remus? That doesn't look like any kelpie I've ever seen," Sirius said eyeing the monster suspiciously.

Remus studied the monster again and then uttered a quiet, "Oh no." His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in surprise.

"What?!" shrieked a frantic Lily, still trying not to move in the water.

"Lily, ah, I apologize. I actually think that this is a sea, or rather, a lake monster," said Remus, cringing a bit in anticipation of the answer.

"Well, fantastic. Now that we know what it is, what the fuck am I supposed to do with it?" she asked, more color leaving her face every second.

James stood up with his wand in his hand and said, "Why not try to Banish it?"

"Be my guest," Maguire muttered, "considering no one really knows how to."

James looked down and quietly said to his feet, "I know how to."

They all looked at him and said in unison: "You do?"

"Well, yeah. My dad used to work in the Ministry and he was the one who taught me to duel."

It was common knowledge that James was the best dueler in the school and that if anyone was ever had the misfortune to be faced opposite in DADA against James, they might not come back with all body parts intact.

"Um, you guys might not have a sea monster circling you, but I do. Can we please get on with this?" Lily shrieked from the lake as the monster circled tighter around the lake.

"Lake monster," Remus corrected.

"Just shut up, Moony," Sirius said. "You're too smart for your own good."

James sighed and stood up. "Uh, you guys may want to cover yourselves. Who knows how big this thing is."

They all scrambled behind a bush and peeked between the leaves. James spoke the incantation and the lake monster slowly started to rise up out of the water. It wriggled around and looked more than a little confused.

"Oh! Isn't it cute?" Anna squealed, smiling and waving her fingers as the figure hovered over the lake.

"Not when it's about to eat you, it isn't," Maguire retorted grimly. Anna dropped her hand, her eyes wide.

"Where should I send it?" James asked, struggling to keep control of the monster, which was getting more aggressive and angrier by the minute.

"Scotland!" Maguire shouted from behind the bush.

"No, don't send it there. They've already got a monster!" Sirius exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend and rolling his eyes at her.

"But what if the other monster is lonely?" Maguire teased, pecking him on the cheek.

"You know, Scotland might not be a bad idea," Remus mused thoughtfully, staring into space. "Loch Ness is probably deep enough for two."

Everyone else looked at him in confusion and demanded, "Where?"

"You know the big loch, um, lake in Scotland? It has the other monster, Nessie? It's got a name. It's called Loch Ness. They've already got one monster. What's one more going to do?"

After a moment of silence as everyone digested this new piece of information, Sirius scoffed, "Well, that's a stupid name."

"Why is it stupid, oh wise one?" Maguire asked, while rolling her eyes and shoving him playfully, unwrapping his hold on her.

"Because I said so," Sirius countered with his tongue stuck out as he snared his arm back around her waist. She resisted for a moment before she continued arguing.

"It's not necessarily stupid. It's just an unusual name, like my name! How many people have the name "Maguire"?"

"Well, if stupid doesn't mean stupid what does stupid mean?" he countered

"You're impossible! And you're also stupid!"

"Stupid is as stupid does..." he murmured, trailing his fingers up her back. She moaned, rolling her eyes once more.

"What the hell are you going on about now?"

"I'm not really sure. And besides, the argument was getting boring and I don't like fighting with you."

"Christ, you're annoying," Maguire groaned exasperatedly, kissing the side of his face.

"Well, when you two shut the hell up, I'll send it to Scotland!" James shouted, finishing the spell. For a moment, the lake monster hung suspended in the air and then vanished with a squelchy "pop!" As soon as the monster vanished, Lily hobbled out of the water as fast as she could, running straight into James and hugging him very hard.

Maguire stood up quickly, ushering everyone towards the castle saying, "Moving right along, moving right along! Moving! Moving, Sirius, right along!" She glared at Sirius meaningfully and pushed him forward. Lily just continued hugging James, ignoring the others as they quickly made their exit from the scene.

"Not--breathing! Need--air!" James choked out, his glasses askew as Lily still gripped his waist tightly, her head buried in his shoulder.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Lily released him and he gulped down some precious gasps of air. Lily ran behind the bush, changed and walked back to James, who had politely averted his eyes once more. She emerged, clothed and dry now, and walked back to James, looking up at him. He almost thought she was going to kiss him again but she ducked her head down instead, sending a flurry of disappointment coursing throughout his system. They walked the short distance back to the castle in silence, James hardly daring to breathe and Lily barely thinking, lest she give herself over to the tumultuous thoughts raging against her. Upon reaching the Heads quarters, James grabbed Lily by the arm and steered her to the sitting room, plopping her down on the couch. She glanced up at him as he paced in front of her, her leg twitching in anticipation.

Stomping across the floor for a few minutes, James looked at her finally and, after an awkward pause, said in a rush of nervousness, "Lily. Will you, ah, bemygirlfriend?"

"Crippled girl say what," she said, laughing, though she had already heard what he said. Her stomach tightened as she braced herself; this was it, something that had been hanging over them for the past seven years and more realistically, the past few weeks. She could have laughed at the absurdity of the situation, yet she didn't have the strength to as she felt strangely weak and woozy with...what, nervousness? Heat rushed into her body and she kept her gaze downwards, not daring to look at James. She had to admit it; she was nervous. She knew she wanted this, as insane as it was, given her past innumerable death threats, declarations of hate and abuse sessions. She could have kicked herself for being such a hypocrite, yet at the same time, she didn't care. A hurricane of emotions beat against her insides as she nervously picked her nails with trembling fingers.

He took a deep breath and said slowly, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Lily looked at him, still shocked to hear the words she had known he would say. She sputtered, desperately trying to think of something to say, to communicate her thoughts and feelings, and then she took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she inhaled. She opened her eyes and looked at the worried, dark haired boy in front of her. "Look, James. I like you. I can't believe I just said that, but, yeah, I do like you. You're really sweet and nice; I can see that now. But I've also seen how you've treated other girls. You love them and leave them, I'm not stupid. I've seen you over the years and it's almost like a contest for you. I mean, you treat them like they're prizes, not real people. I don't want that. I don't want to be yours or anybody else's trophy girl. I don't want to be a conquest."

James gaped at her and whispered, "You think I'd do that to you? Lily, I'd never treat you like that. I was such an idiot back then. You deserve so much better than that, so much better than me. I can completely understand if you don't want me, if I've screwed up my chances too much. You can do better than me, I know that, Lily. My God, everyone knows that. You need someone who will fully and totally appreciate you. You need," he whispered softly, "someone to love you."

She stared at him, her eyes betraying herself, and whispered, "What did you say?"

"Love. Goddammit, Lily, you need someone to love you." He dragged a hand through his hair and sat down with a huff. He bowed his head and rubbed his eyes angrily, finally giving up and letting her see him for what he was; a boy in love with her.

Lily was slightly shocked by his outburst and gasped for breath for a few seconds, hardly daring to breathe or God forbid, think. Thinking was the last thing she needed to do right now. For too much of her life, Lillian Evans had thought, overanalyzed and planned meticulously. Just once, she decided, she wanted to follow her heart, her emotions and see what would happen if she left the logical path to follow the crazy ride of emotions. She smiled slightly as she decided, feeling peaceful and jubilant at the same time. Looking at James in a new light, her heart thumped painfully against her ribs as a new emotion flooded her, pushing out the previous occupants of nervousness and anticipation. He sat still hunched over, covering his eyes with his hands, looking very much like a stone statue. Her grin grew wider as she reached out a hand to him, resting it on his shoulder. He looked up slowly, his face a mask to hide his emotions, though he had never really been able to do that around his red headed love. Smiling even brighter still, she boldly moved her hand to brush against his cheek as she said, "Yes."