Lose You

Lose You

By: Emily M. Wood

'Hermione, what's wrong?' Harry asked. I was crying. I never cried. I always stayed strong, just for him. I knew how weak he was. I knew he couldn't take anymore pain. But neither could I.

'Why do you hate me?' I whispered. I looked up to him. He looked miserable. Nothing had been the same since Sirius died. Things had only proceeded to get worse as the war progressed. Too many people had to die. Too many people that he loved had to suffer.

'What are you talking about?' Harry asked. His voice quavered. 'I could never hate you.'

I shook my head. 'Then why are you pushing me away?' I asked. 'Why would you leave me?'

He looked at me; his eyes were filled with concern. 'I haven't left you,' he said. 'I'm right here, here with you.'

I rolled my eyes. He was never one for realising the obvious. That was his weakness. He couldn't see what was right in front of him.

'I never get to talk to you anymore,' I explained. 'It's like you don't even care about me.'

He looked out the window. He had taken advantage of that window. He never looked at anyone when he was talking to the person. He looked out the window, out at the Hogwarts grounds. So many memories were there. I don't know how he can stand it.

'I could never stop caring about you, Hermione,' he said to the window. 'You know that.'

'Then how can you just push me aside?' I asked. I moved toward him ever so carefully. His temper was worse than ever when I tried to talk to him about something he didn't want to talk about. 'I want to be here for you, but I can't if you won't let me.'

'I don't want you to,' Harry muttered.

'What?' I said. He was supposed to love me. He had told me he did. Only last year, before battle. In case one of us didn't make it out alive.

'Hermione, get out of here,' he whispered to me. 'Go, apparate home.'

'No,' I protested. 'I won't let you do this alone.'

'I won't be alone,' he argued. 'The Order will be here any minute. Now, go.'

'Harry, there is nothing you can say or do to make me leave your side.'

He seemed to decide that I was right. 'Hermione, I need to tell you something,' Harry said, taking hold of my hand. 'I love you.'

My breath caught in my throat.

'I couldn't go through with this battle without telling you,' he told me. 'I wanted you to know that in case I don't get another chance.'

He had still been so carefree then. I hadn't known what to make of it.

'You heard me,' he said, turning to face me. 'I don't want you to be here for me.'

'Why not?' I asked. He had never acted this way. He had cared about me. He had always wanted to be with me, me and Ron.

'Because I don't want you to get hurt!' he yelled in my face. 'I don't want to lose you.'

It was exactly what I thought it was about. He was hurting. He couldn't deal with anymore pain.

'Don't you see?' I asked, more tears streaming down my face. 'You are. By pushing me away, you're losing me.'

He stared at me. His gave drifted to the floor. And then, without warning, tears fell from his eyes. He looked back to me. 'I'm sorry, Hermione,' he whispered.

I chuckled. 'Don't be,' I told him. 'Just hold me.' I moved forward and he wrapped his arms around me.

'Hermione, anyone I've ever loved or cared about has died,' he told me. 'First my parents, then Cedric, then Sirius, then Ron and Ginny...'

I frowned. Ron and Ginny were the hardest for me. Harry had a long line of losses. Too many had died; too many people he cared about had left him.

'You won't lose me, Harry,' I assured him. 'You could never lose me.'

Don't wanna lose you now, baby

I know we can win this

Don't wanna lose you now, no, no

Or ever again

-Don't Wanna Lose You Now (Backstreet Boys, Millennium, 1999)