No One in the World Ever Gets What They Want...

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me," Draco sang while unlocking the door to Wal-Mart and walked into the empty store, closely followed by Jess.

"Another EXCITING day at work," Jess mumbled.

"Indeed," Draco grinned.

The two boys got into their normal positions and braced themselves for another long, boring morning. Very few people, as you might imagine, go to Wal-Mart early in the morning. So the boys were left to amuse themselves with their own devices, which, oddly enough, seemed to be talking.

"So tell me more about this Rory girl," Draco yawned. The day before Jess began telling Draco about his first love, Rory Gilmore. He had never talked to anyone about it before. Jess could hardly even admit that he was in love with her, even to Rory herself, but for some reason he trusted Draco.

"Well...there's not much more to tell. I screwed up. It's over. I'll just have to get over it," Jess said, trying to act like he didn't care. "What about you?" Jess inquired, "What's your lady situation?"

"Um..." Draco began, not sure if he wanted to share. "Well, there is this one girl."

"And?" Jess said, motioning his hand to show that he wanted to hear more.

"Well, her name's Hermione Granger," Draco said quietly. "She's one of my classmates, but it would never work."

"Why?"

"For one thing she's a mudblood. And her best friend his Harry Potter."

"Who's he?"

Draco looked at Jess with a shocked expression on his face. "You don't know who Harry Potter is?"

"Should I?" Jess asked, confused.

"No, no one SHOUD, but everyone DOES...you don't?"

Jess shook his head.

"Wow, do you live in a box or something?" Jess chose not to answer. "Harry Potter is the only survivor of a He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named attack, as proven by his stupid scar. And he keeps fucking escaping too, and now he's a huge hero because he's a dumbass and gets himself into trouble a lot."

Jess decided that it would be better not to question who "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" is, and just grunted to show his annoyance at this boy, Harry Potter.

"Yeah, I know! And Hermione is his best friend. AND, her other best friend is a Weasley. WEASLEY! The scum of the universe," said Draco angrily.

"Well, people aren't always the same as their friends," Jess said encouragingly.

"She's also a know-it-all bitch. And she's a mudblood. Imagine if Father found out I was in love with a mudblood!" Draco sighed.

Jess wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry, that's gotta suck," he mumbled.

"Yeah, well...so change of subject," Draco said drearily. "What's your darkest secret?"

Jess laughed uneasily. "Darkest secret eh?" he said, "Well, here's one. I like emo."

Draco grinned. "Emo? That's you're darkest secret? Not even NSync, but emo?"

"What? Are you saying that you like NSync?" Jess smiled evilly.

"Oh god no, I'd rather kill myself...but you know, the Backstreet Boys aren't bad," Draco said sheepishly.

Jess laughed loudly. "Of course they aren't Draco, of course they aren't. You keep telling yourself that."

Draco blushed, "Shut up emo boy."

"Whatever, you still like the Backstreet Boys," Jess smiled mischievously.

"Sheep goes to heaven, goats go to hell," Draco said simply.

"And cake is fluffy, but I hardly see how that's relevant." Jess still had a mischievous smile on his face.

Draco opened his mouth to say something, but a customer came to the counter. "Good Morning, did you find everything you need?" Draco saw Jess smirk out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes, thank you," the customer said airily.

Draco finished scanning the customer's things and getting the money, while Jess packed the things into bags.

Jess handed the woman her bag. "Have a nice day," he said politely. The woman nodded and left the store, and Jess looked back at Draco. "So, who's your favorite Backstreet boy?" Jess asked with a grin. "I bet it's Nick, isn't it."

"ACTUALLY it's AJ," Draco said matter-o-factly.

"Ah, so you like the rebel eh?"

Suddenly they noticed another customer standing there. He was a middle-aged man, who seemed to be about 200 pounds overweight. "I must admit that AJ is the most interesting boy," the man said, sophisticatedly, "but Howie is a good father, thus making him the superior boy."

Draco quickly glanced at Jess but ignored his evil smile. "That is true, but AJ doesn't follow the pretty boy requirement of being in a boy band. He's an individual, and I find that very noble."

"Every boy band has the 'bad-boy'. He isn't really being very original. And AJ has gotten in trouble with the law, and that definitely isn't very noble. He should be a good role model, like Howie is."

"Hmm," Draco said, nodding in agreement.

"Anyway," the man said, changing the subject. "Could you ring me up so I can get on my way."

"Oh yeah," Draco said, and scanned the man's purple nail polish. "That'll be two dollars and forty-six cents."

The man paid and quickly wobbled out of the store.

As soon as he closed the door Jess began cracking up.

"Shut up," Draco said, embarrassed.

"Who knew you could have a semi-intelligent sounding conversation about the Backstreet Boys."

"It's the end of the world as we know it," Draco said sarcastically.

"And I'm not sure I feel fine," Jess smiled.