No One in the World Ever Gets What They Want...

The alarm clock began beeping at 7:00 in the morning. "Shut up," Jess yawned as he slammed the snooze button. Nine minutes later it began beeping again. "Fine." Jess got out of bed. Today was his first day of work at the crazy Wal-Mart. He had to admit, he was pretty excited. He brushed his teeth, put on a clean shirt, poured about fifty pounds of gel into his hair, and went on his way.

When he got to Wal-mart there was a short boy with blonde hair that was slicked back with more gel than Jess had used on his hair.

"Hi," the boy, who was only really about two years younger than Jess, said.

"Hi," Jess echoed.

"You must be my new bagger."

"That I must. And you must be my new cashier."

"That I am," the blonde boy said, "Oh, I'm Draco by the way."

"I'm Jess," said Jess, "Are you from England or something?"

"Yeah, from England or something," Draco said with a strong British accent. "I come to work here during the summer. Just to get away from my family, really. But in September I go back."

"Oh." Jess looked at Draco perplexedly. There was something different about this boy, he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"So anyway, now that we're acquainted and whatnot, I guess I should be showing you the tricks of the trade... so to speak."

"Oh, well, I've bagged before. I used to work at the Wal-Mart in Connecticut, we didn't really have designated baggers really, but I still bagged things when I was the cashier."

"Oh, I wasn't gonna teach you how to bag, just the little things to look out for. Come with me." Jess followed Draco. "The first aisle is wands. I don't think I have to explain why you shouldn't go there unless there's an absolute need to." Jess jumped as a long flame came out of the first aisle and disappeared. "Exactly," Draco said, and continued walking. "The fourth aisle has potions. I wouldn't worry about that so much as Crazy McMinkerchen who likes to bring a rocking chair over, sit in the middle of the aisle and tell stories to anyone who's unfortunate enough to want to buy potions from a Wal-Mart. Be careful. Once you start listening to one of his stories you'll be there all day, unless you want a nice beating with his walking stick, and like shit we're going to pay you for sitting around listening to stories all day."

Jess looked down the fourth aisle. It was too early in the morning, so Crazy McMinkerchen wasn't there yet, but Jess still shivered at the thought. He had gotten over the fact that all this Wal-Mart sold was wizarding things. The fifth aisle has quills, the sixth, witch and wizard robes and hats, the seventh wizard books. The eighth was the first normal looking aisle, but it was one that the boys quickly walked past. It was filled, front to back, with woman's sanitary products. Finally they got to the last aisle, magazines.

"This is the best part of the entire store," Draco said excitedly.

"Why?" asked Jess, "They're just magazines."

"No, no," sighed Draco, "Not here, behind the curtain."

"What's behind there? Porn?"

"Sort of," grinned Draco, "just open the curtain.

Jess opened the curtain. There he saw every kind of sex toy that anyone could imagine...all having sex with each other. There were porn magazines with dancing photographs, and stripping pens flipping upside down and back. The dress is on... the dress is off.

Draco laughed at Jess's look of utter confuzzlement. "Isn't it great?" he said and walked into the room. "Hey! Everyone STOP! Dildos, get out of the plastic vaginas and real dolls. Vibrators stop vibrating, there will be plenty of time to do that later. Now this is Jess. He will be working here now." Draco grinned. "Be nice to him."

As if they had heard what Draco had said and nodded in agreement, the sex toys went back their shelves. "How do you get them to that?" Jess asked.

Draco smiled, "Magic." Jess looked once more at the sex toys before Draco dragged him away. "Come on," he said, "We're opening soon." And with that the two walked back to the check out counters.

"So," Draco said as he got behind the counter, "You said you worked at a Wal-Mart in Connecticut, right? So I don't have to tell you what to do?"

"Yeah." Jess nodded.

"Huh, I didn't know there were any magic Wal-Marts in Connecticut. I thought this was basically the only place with non-Muggle stores in all of America."

"Oh." Jess said with a confused look on his face.

"Was it a muggle store?"

"Um..." Suddenly a girl, about 15 years of age, with wavy hair and a perfect smile, walked into the store.

"Granger?" Draco said surprised, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see my cousins wedding and I forgot some books, so I came to see if you sold them here." The girl, Hermione Granger, said without hesitation.

"What do you need?" There was a bit of annoyance in Draco's voice.

"Just some text books. I want to study up so I'm prepared for next year. Do you know where I could find them?"

Abruptly Draco's look of annoyance turned into a face of pure evil. "Sure," he said, "The last aisle, the one with the magazines, at the end, behind the curtain."

"Thank you," Hermione said and marched off. A moment later Draco and Jess heard a scream, echoing throughout the empty store. Hermione stormed back. "That was a dirty trick Malfoy," she said with disgust. Draco grinned at her, biting his lip from the inside, trying not to laugh. She shook her head and stormed out of the store.

"That," Draco laughed, "was beautiful."