Wrong Gone Right

I wasn't looking for a lifetime with you
And I never thought it would hurt just to hear
"I do" and "I do"
And I do a number on myself
And all that I thought to be
And you'll be the one
That just left me undone
By my own, hesitation

I should be happy, I know I should. I sit here in my suit watching the only two people I ever loved, love each other more. Both pairs of eyes are lit up, dazzlingly bright. They shine with happiness. I wish I could tell myself that she didn't look quite as happy as him-that somewhere deep down inside she was holding out for me. That she still loved me. But what would be the point of kidding myself this way? She looks beautiful, and her smile reflects all her inner joy.

I go over and over in my head what I could have done differently, what could have been changed so that it wouldn't end this way. I know it's all my fault. I left her-all she did was hold on. It was years ago, and we were still in school but I loved her, and I still do.

Looking up, I hear the silence set in-the priest just asked for objections. I almost stood up. But who was I to deny them happiness? I know I'm being selfish, but I want to deny them, oh I really do. The rest was a blur of romantic vows and promises, which I refuse to hear. However, despite my best attempts I hear the words that make it all real. "I do." I stare at her in earnest begging her silently not to return the thoughts, but the words tumble out of her mouth and I feel my soul flying away. I am empty without her.

Well I'm on a champagne high
Where will I be when I stop wondering why
On a champagne high
I'd toast to the future but that'd be a lie
On a champagne high, high

I know what will come next. The reception. I'm sure she'd spare me a dance if I asked, but I wouldn't. If I held her in my arms again, I know this time I wouldn't let her go. I don't make the same mistake twice. Their lips meet and I can almost feel my heart breaking to pieces inside my chest. All around me the guests are crying, and I find a tear slipping down my cheek too. Their silent sobs are of ecstasy, and mine are of despair.

I feel like I'm floating now. Like I've had one drink too many. Yet I know I haven't had a single one. I'm carried away on Champagne high that numbs the pain. Again my bleary eyes wander up to the mesmerized couple. I wish so desperately I could wish them all the best, but I don't have it in me. It's an impossibility, a betrayal to my heart.

Spring turned to summer
But then winter turned to mean
The distance seemed right
At the time it was best - to leave
And to leave behind
What I once thought was fine And so real - to me
And while I'm still gone
On the quest for my song
I'm at your - celebration

The hardest part was that first year out of Hogwarts. The long summer days weren't spent being badgered by the Dursleys-I moved out right after leaving school-but of a miserable loneliness. Gone were the days of relaxing at the Weasleys, or walking around Diagonal Alley with Hermione. Summer lasted forever, in my empty flat with my low pay job.

And if I thought summer was bad, well winter was worse. The snow, instead of looking inviting and pretty as it had at Hogwarts, trapped in the loneliness. Snowy days were spent inside, sitting by the fire, dreaming of the one I let go.

It seemed like the right thing to do, at the time. She was so young, so vibrant, and so full of life. She was ready to take on the world, and could too. It wasn't fair of me to tie her down. And it was more than that. She had so much to give, and I couldn't stand that while she was with me her young life would always been in danger. She deserved more than that. It tore me apart, my decision, but it seemed so right.

Now I am lost in a whirlwind of feelings. I look back, and think how stupid I was. I could have protected her, we could have gotten through. Our lives would be grand. Even if we were on the streets, or in constant danger, we'd have love, and that is all that would have mattered. If only I could turn back time. But instead, I sit here now, at her wedding.

He's a fine man, he really is.

And for the million hours that we were
well I'll smile and remember it all
then I'll turn and go
while your story's completed mine is a long way from done.

The kiss that seals my fate seems to last an eternity. I'm caught up in reminiscent thoughts. For a moment I smile for him. But then it slips and I can no longer bear the wrenching pain. They looked at me then, both of them, as if they knew. But in reality they were caught up in their own little world, full of wonders.

So she's made it after all. She's reached her dream-of course I remember her saying she always thought I'd be the one. I am, oh how I am. I have one regret...I wish I could have seen her face. Up at the alter her veil masked her beautiful cinnamon eyes, and cherry lips. I could only make out her soft curls cascading down to frame her face. Now that I concentrate harder, I see she really looks very different since I saw her last.

My heart stops then. I look intently at Ron's bride and my pulse returns. I looked around me frantically then, to see if anyone else sees what I do. My eyes rest momentarily on an attractive young woman, who is looking back at me. Somehow, she doesn't seem to see me though. Soon enough I turn back to the bride and groom, just as they start to waltz down the aisle. And then I smile.

Where will I be when I stop wondering why
On a champagne high... high...
So high so high you left me undone
so high, so high you left me undone....

As soon as the couple had made it out of the door, I jump from my seat and dash down the aisle. I know I'm making a scene, but my happiness is beyond words. I look at the notice board.

The Wedding of Ronald Weasley and Bethany Miller...

So, I haven't lost her after all. It's not too late. I wish I could give my regards to my best friend, but this whole ordeal has made me realize that I couldn't bare to lose her. There's no time to waste.

***

It's been a year. I have never gotten over the lose of my second chance. I searched for her for months, went to every search office possible, but it seems that she had disappeared off the face of the earth. After that, life seemed pointless. I run through my days in a quite lull. Get up, go to work, come home, eat, sleep. It's mechanical, and every day I see less and less reason to live.

Finally, I found myself on a plane to France. I didn't trust my apparating skills, with such little concentration. I don't know exactly why I came. I suppose maybe I needed a break from life. I think it's mainly because this was her favorite place. Here, I spend my days in almost the same manner of pointless activity-the difference is here I look out my window and see a beautiful scenery.

I've been spending my days touring, enjoying posh restaurants, and generally doing whatever I feel like. I sit around reading, or listening to music. Mostly I think about her. This past week I've mainly stayed inside my little flat...it's been rainy. Today the sun came out, so I decided to take a walk around the little park right outside my building.

I walked around the beautiful park for close to an hour, before I settled down on a bench to read. I'd dragged along 'Hogwarts: A History', yet another thing I held onto of my past love. I've read it a thousand times since leaving her. After a while of soaking up the sun, I found I had lost all concentration and was only reading the same sentence over and over. The heat was making me sleepy and I decided it was time to head back to my flat for a nap.

This was all good, and well, of course, until I got back to my room, closed the door, and realized I'd left my book. All I wanted to do was settle in for a nice rest, but I would hate to lose that book. I decided to jog back over to the bench...the sooner I got there, the sooner I could get back. As the bench came into sight, I saw that a new occupant had taken residence there, and was thumbing through the pages.

As I drew near, I called out to her to alert her to my presence.

"Oh good! You found my book!"

Even though she continued to stare down, I saw her eyes widen. Her eyes, with thick long lashes, shielding cinnamon diamonds. Her features had softened since Hogwarts, but all her good qualities had stayed. She'd only gotten prettier. I looked down at wear her eyes were fixed, and saw my name in the front cover. Then, I saw her smile.

I thought my heart would burst. I sat down next to her shakily, unsure of what to say. She looked up at me, her eyes a bit watery. All of a sudden there was only one thing I could thing of to say, and before I could rephrase it in my mind, I was speaking.

"I love you Hermione." I hadn't seen her in ten years, but I had thought of her everyday of my life. She leaned close and the scent of warm pumpkin pie that always stayed with her, filled my lungs. I breathed her in, and waited on bated breath for her response.

"I love you too Harry. I always have." She closed the space between us.