The Road to Here

This is not the worst moment of his life. It could be worse, Sirius thinks. He knows that this is not the worst moment of his life. If it were his worst moment, then he wouldn't know where he was going, he wouldn't have anyone to whom he could go. He has a destination, though, and someone who he hopes will take him in. He will be all right.

Sirius grabs a few galleons he has lying around, his favorite coat, and his broomstick, and he leaves. Just jumps on his broomstick and flies through the open window, practically hysterical with suppressed anger. He is trembling a little on top of the broom, and he has to bite his lip so he won't scream in frustration that it has taken him sodamnlong to get out of this place. Soon, he tastes blood.

He hasn't seen James in over a month, hasn't sent letters because anything he would have written would have James worried before he could even finish the letter. He knows James will let him stay; he trusts him. Besides, his mother is extremely fond of dogs.

-x-

Sirius has been traveling for almost three days, and he is loping along as Padfoot now. A few hours ago he almost fell off his broom because he dozed off in flight. He won't let that happen again, even if he has to run the entire way to James' leaving perfect, bloody paw prints on the road behind him. He is beyond caring about the condition of his paws now; he only wants to get there and see James and feel cool, comforting hands on his aching back and burning forehead - or, what will be his forehead when he changes back.

Padfoot whines of his own accord. The dog in Sirius is also weary of traveling, frustrated that he can't force his tired, bleeding legs faster down the road. Sirius tells that part of his mind that he approximates less than a day to go, maybe a couple of hours, even. Then, canine and human mind once more in accord, Padfoot resumes a brisker pace and sets off again.

-x-

Night has long fallen by the time Sirius reaches James' house. He changes back and rings the doorbell, winces when his finger leaves a spot of blood on the bell. He expects that he will not be able to move in the morning, but his entire body is numb at the moment, and his brain is probably halfway there as well.

Luckily, James answers the door, looking sleepy and ruffled and cold. He blinks blearily behind his glasses when he sees Sirius, then pulls him inside with a softness to his touch that he's never had before. Sirius manages to walk over the threshold before his legs give out, and he collapses against James. James isn't surprised, and manages to half walk, half carry Sirius to the couch. He gets up to go to the kitchen, but Sirius clumsily reaches for his sleeve and mumbles something into the arm of the sofa that sounds something like, "Play. Seize." James sinks down to the floor and leans on the couch, stretching out his legs in a valiant attempt to make himself comfortable. Sirius is already asleep, exhausted and dreamless and halfway curled up around a pillow. James rests his head on the other end of the pillow, and closes his eyes.

-x-

Mrs. Potter finds the two of them in the morning and shakes them both awake. She forces some breakfast down their throats before she attacks Sirius with healing potions and bandages.

After the better part of the hour, she finally lets him go. He minces carefully upstairs to James' room and joins James on the bed, still sleepy and unusually quiet.

"Merlin, Sirius," James says, after some time. "What happened?"

"I - I just couldn't take anymore of what they were doing. So I just left, just flew out the window and flew and flew until I almost fell off - tired, y'know - and then I ran the rest of the way here as Padfoot. It's alright that I'm here? I couldn't think of anywhere else in the world to go." And, yeah, it wasn't just a place to stay that Sirius needed - he needed James, needed him just to be himself and do what he does best.

"I'd have killed you back at school if you didn't come here. Where else would you've gone?"

"Gods, but I don't even know..."

"Hey, hey. C'mere." Sirius moves towards James, eyes still half-closed. He automatically finds the place where he fits right up against James' side, head resting on his shoulder and ribs against his hip. James puts a hand on Sirius' back, moving his fingers in slow circles as Sirius starts to relax against him. "Just try to forget about that, yeah? I know you can't, really, but just concentrate on being here now. Think of all the fun we can have."

"Mmm."

"Right, then," James says, but Sirius barely hears him. "Well, even if it was a bunch of crap that brought you here, I'm still glad you came. It could be a lot worse, y'know. It could be a lot worse."