In Moments of Holiday Happiness

In Moments of Holiday Happiness

"Moony, can I talk to you for a minute?" James asked, appearing out of seemingly nowhere to whisper in Remus' ear.

"Sure. Let me just finish this Charms worksheet, alright?"

"Right. I'll be in the dorms, then. Don't be too long."

A few minutes later, Remus put away his notes and climbed the stairs to his room. "So. What's so important that we're up here all alone?"

"It's about Sirius." At Remus' look of unease, James added, "No, I mean - I think it's... great that you two are together. Honestly. I know I sound like a parent or something, but there's just a few things I want to - make sure of, before you get too involved, I guess."

Remus resisted the urge to grin, sensing that James felt his business was very important. Instead, he nodded, allowing James to continue.

"Uhm. Right. You probably know a lot of what I'm going to tell you, but I don't care. I've been Sirius' best friend for six years now, and I know him better than pretty much anyone. I know that he needs more time to himself than he lets on because he has trouble sorting out all the thoughts spinning around in his head. I know that he's terrified that he's not loved - make sure you let him know that you appreciate him whenever you can. Screwing around, fighting and all, he doesn't care about, but pin him to the floor or wall and he'll freak out completely. Don't ever betray his trust; he won't forgive you. Remind him always that he's a wonderful person who's more than worth his weight in gold. Don't mention his family if you can help it, and don't ask about what happened over the summer. He'll talk when he wants to. And don't you dare hurt him, Remus Lupin. You're both my friends, and I know you both have your issues and whatnot, but you break his heart and I'll kill you."

"I won't. But James, when are you going to realize that the only one who can really take care of him like he needs to be taken care of is you?" Remus stared at James a long moment before adding, "You know a lot of things about Sirius. But I don't think you know enough about yourself."

"And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"I mean you don't realize that you'll never give him up. He'll always be yours; you'll always be his. And *I* know it's useless to try to come between you two. I'll never be able to break down his barriers like you can. There's no point in me trying."

James blinked and stared, a little stunned. When his thoughts had stopped reeling, he searched for words. "What? Just - shut up. Stop." He glared for a second longer before suddenly standing up and leaving Remus alone, a bit bewildered and more curious than ever.

---

James had found out that Remus and Sirius were together exactly six days, three hours, and twenty-seven minutes ago - not that he was counting, or anything. He had walked in on them kissing in their dorm, and, being James, had promptly turned around to leave. Also being James, he tripped over his own feet and fell into the door. They had broken apart to look at him, Sirius paling with horror then flushing with embarrassment, Remus calm, almost challenging in his level stare.

James' tongue had felt tangled, and he only managed to spit out, "you guys - oh, Merlin - sorry - yeah, um. Sorry," before he turned, this time without incident, and left the room.

Sirius had looked at the empty doorway for a full minute before Remus put a hand on his shoulder. Sirius turned around to look at him, eyes wider than usual. "He doesn't hate us, d'you think? I mean, if he did, I don't think I could -"

And Remus had looked at Sirius with a strange, sad smile playing on his lips. "Sirius, I don't understand, and I don't think I ever will, why everything you do has to be approved by him. I don't think I can ever understand how important you are to each other, I don't think I want to know."

"Moony, it's not like that. I mean, he's important to me, sure. He's my best friend. But he's not the *only* thing that's important, not the *most* important. He's *not*."

"So, if he were to come up to you tomorrow and tell you that he didn't like us being together, would you stay with me?"

"I - oh, Remus, I don't know."

"Then this isn't fair to either one of us. We both know that."

"Remus, please. Let's just - see how it goes, okay? Give me a week. It'll work out, you'll see. James is not the most important person in my life."

"One week. And if this is still -"

"I know. I know."

---

Sirius had been on his best behavior all week, spending all his time with Remus, barely speaking to James. He hated that he wasn't allowed - by Remus or himself, he didn't know - to keep both of them, James as his best friend, Remus as his boyfriend. Remus had been right - their relationship was not fair to either one of them.

So that morning at breakfast, the day before the winter holidays started, Sirius made his decision. He found Remus after classes in the common room, and pulled him over to a far corner.

"Remus, I was thinking -" he started, at the same time Remus said, "Sirius, I was talking to James -"

They both stopped, laughing a little awkwardly. "Okay, Padfoot, you go first."

"Right. I was thinking about what you said, about how us being together isn't fair to either one of us. You were right, of course; you always are. And as much as I like you, I don't think that I can ever be a good boyfriend to you. I do promise, though, to be a great friend. I'm really sorry."

"Don't be; you can't help it. I was going to tell you, James wanted to talk to me yesterday, about you. He told me a lot of things, about what you need, how to treat you, and if I ever hurt you, he'd kill me. I told him that no one was ever going to be able to take care of you like he does, that no one will ever be able to reach you like he does. He was uncomfortable with me telling him this, I think, but he knows it's true. Talk to him about it over Christmas, alright?"

"I will. Happy Christmas, Remus," Sirius said, kissing Remus on the cheek and putting his arms around Remus' waist. "You're leaving soon, aren't you? Better, um, go pack."

"Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Merry Christmas."

Sirius still hadn't let him go, and whispered in his ear, "You know, for when we come back. That Evans girl, I think she might like you, you righteous, following-the-rules prefect, you." Remus could hear the wicked grin in his voice without being able to see Sirius' face.

"Sirius, she's a *girl.* That's just disgusting."

"How old are we again, Moony?" he teased, laughing. "Anyway, Merry Christmas." He squeezed his arms around Remus' waist before letting go, walking smoothly to the center of the common room to sit down beside Peter. Remus watched him go, feeling a weight he hadn't known he was carrying lift from his shoulders.

---

"So, erm, Remus told me what happened between you two."

"Did he really? What'd he say?"

"Just that there was someone keeping you from him."

"He didn't say who?"

"No."

"I can't tell if I'm happy he did that or not."

"And why's that?"

"Because know I'll have to tell you. It's not fair if I don't. Remus and I could never work out because of you and me, James. Because our friendship isn't the same as most people's, and we know that. He told me about the conversation the two of you had, but mostly I just thought about how I couldn't lose you as a friend just so he wouldn't feel - threatened? Shut out? I don't know, something."

James looked at Sirius, allowing the words to sink into his brain. Even then, all he could think to say was, "Oh." Sirius still looked uncomfortable, so James reached out a hand to put on Sirius' shoulder. "That's the same reason Emily broke up with me, last year."

"You told me *you* broke up with *her*!" Sirius cried, slapping at James' arm. "Little liar, you are."

"Mm, yeah. Sorry."

"You know I don't care."

"Yeah, I know." They fell into comfortable silence for a moment, before James added, "You know, I don't think we can keep letting our friendship get in the way of our love lives."

Sirius looked at him, skeptical and the slightest bit hurt. James turned to look him in the eye, and, startled at what he saw, added, "That's not what I meant, if you think I meant that we shouldn't be friends. I *meant*--" he stopped, leaning toward Sirius. Sirius met his eye, leaning in slightly as well. James kissed him, quickly and maybe a little awkwardly, but it was fairly nice, all around.

Sirius grinned widely, his grin he only flashed when he was genuinely happy, all white teeth and laugh lines. He turned and moved down the couch, so that he was leaning against James' shoulder. Turning his face up, he kissed James again. "Happy Christmas, Prongs."

James shifted his arms so that they were loosely around Sirius' waist. He didn't know or bother to think what this new development to their friendship would mean, or how long it would last, or even where they would go from here. He did know that in this moment, he was happier than he had been in quite some time, and, from the looks of it, so was Sirius. He did know that this was something to which he could easily become accustomed. "Happy Christmas, Sirius."