Being Petunia Dursley

Being Petunia Dursley

By an ebony flame

Knock, knock. Someone was at the door. I crossed through the salon, smoothing the wrinkles in my skirt. I paused at the mirror and patted my hair. Putting on my best smile, I opened the door triumphantly.

"Hello Petunia," said she, inviting herself in and walking through the door. "I came to say goodbye. I know we´ve had our problems in the past...the snippy comments, the backstabbing, the gossip. I just want to say I´m sorry. Despite everything I´ve done in the past, I want you to know that I will miss you."

"Oh I´ll miss you too, Beverly," I said, my voice like syrup. "I find it amazing that you´re moving. I´ve always imagined my future with the Beckhams as my neighbors."

"I know. It will be quite a change. I´ve never lived outside Britain before. Moving to a new country will be very different."

"I have forgotten why you´re moving, silly me. Tell me again?" As Beverly rambled on about her kids participating in higher education, I daydreamed. I knew the real reason for her moving was the money. Our neighborhood was getting nicer and nicer every second. People who still wore their old, tacky bathrobes just didn´t belong here anymore.

"I have to go now Petunia," said Beverly. Then she hugged me. Overall, the experience wasn´t too bad. Her large amounts of fat were warm, and she was leaving anyway. When she pulled back, tears were in her eyes. She began to leave, and then turned to wave goodbye one last time. Smiling, I waved back at her.

I glided to the door and shut it happily. My life was back in order again. The Stackpoles had moved months ago, and now the Beckhams were gone. I could finally start with a clean slate. After the disastrous tea party, I had gone into a deep abyss of depression. However, I went into therapy (that no one knows about, of course) and I started to do much better. Medication sure does keep you happy.

Now I was given the chance to start with a clean slate.

And it wouldn´t be too hard. The members of the Privet Drive Tea Ladies Association had stopped caring the whole incident. In fact, the members that were there were all gone. The entire episode was nothing but a legend to be pondered. In fact, it made me very popular. It was for all the wrong reasons, but sometimes even I need attention.

Plus, Harry´s major occurrences were happening less and less. Every once in a while, something out of the ordinary would happen, but for the most part everything was good. Whenever he got out of line, Vernon took care of him. Then we would lock him in his cupboard for a little while. It kept the sobs from distracting the rest of us.

That punishment didn´t seem to work on his behavioral problems, however. For instance, he kept saying that my Dudlud was hurting him. He even got his school to believe my son was a bully! That little liar never ceased to amaze me with is nefarious craftiness.

I went into the kitchen to start making dinner. Vernon was picking up Dudley and Harry from school. Let´s see, I thought. Pork steak for Vernon and Dudley. Harry can have some leftover chicken from last week...