The Change

You want to know how it happened, don't you? You want to know how I could have come from a family like mine and turned out so different. I have only two words for you: the Sorting Hat. When it sorted me into Gryffindor, I never could have imagined how much it would help me. How was I supposed to know that the greatest part of my life would come from what seemed like the worst possible nightmare at the time? How was I supposed to know, at only eleven, that I would owe my sanity and my family to that hat?

I know most people think I was always a rebel. That I always hated my family and thought they were wrong and evil from the beginning. Well, everyone who thinks that is wrong. You simply cannot expect that a child raised in that environment, never having met anyone who would tell him anything different, would think it wrong. I was no different from any other eleven year old when I got on Platform 9 ¾. I loved my mother, father and little brother. I thought they were normal. I admired my father and hoped one day I would be like him. I picked on my brother Regulus like any proper big brother would, but we got along well I loved my mother and obeyed her wishes. I was, in their eyes, the perfect heir to the Black family. How little they knew!

"Sirius! Sirius hurry up, you're going to miss the train!" my mum yelled up the stairs a Regulus by her side.

"Yeah, hurry up, Si, you're gonna be late for school," Regulus put in, skipping his way back to the kitchen.

"Coming, Mother," I yelled. I was in my bedroom wrestling with my socks, trying to get them on my feet while shoving my shirts into an overflowing trunk. I was so excited about going to Hogwarts. My father had been telling me about it since I was a little kid. I couldn't wait to go to have my own adventures. I stumbled to the door dragging my heavy suitcase behind me and looked around my room one last time to make sure I hadn't left anything, and then ran out of the room down the stairs.

As I burst into the kitchen, my mother was yelling, "Sirius Orion Black, if you don't hurry up..." but she trailed off and smiled at me proudly as I fell into a seat. "Are you ready now Sirius?" she asked coming over to me and putting a piece of toast on my plate, which I was loading with eggs.

"Yes," I replied, my mouth full of food.

"Don't talk with your mouth full. You are a Black and know better," she reprimanded.

I swallowed and said, "Yes, mother." I always obeyed my mother. She had only yelled on a few occasions, none of which I wanted to relive.

"Sirius, you have to act proper and classy at school, you know. No more of this talking with your mouth full. You're a man now and you have to start acting like one. You will not disgrace this family. Sit up straight, please. Are you even listening to me?" She asked as I continued to plow food into my mouth.

"Leave him be, honey. He'll learn eventually," my father said from other side of the table. I looked up and he was smiling at me proudly. My father, Regulus, and I looked like clones. We were all tall, well built and walked gracefully with powerful blue-gray eyes and black hair that hung from our heads, with an effortless elegance few could achieve. When we were younger, people thought Regulus was my twin.

"Well, we should leave now. Sirius can't be late for the train," my mother said, putting her cloak, too. I finished my breakfast, jumped up from my seat, and started walking towards the door to get my cloak, too, but my mother summoned it quickly into the room. I slipped it on and my mum smiled at me with pride. "You're so handsome, Sirius," she said reaching for a pan that was lying on the table. "Come here quickly. The portkey will activate in a minute." Regulus and I walked to her and grabbed the pan. I smiled, turning to look at my father, who was still sitting at the table.

"Aren't you coming to see me off at the train, Father?" I asked innocently.

"Sorry, Sirius, I can't. There is a meeting I must go to. I'm sorry," He said, frowning but not looking up from his paper.

"You're sure you can't come, even for a minute?" I asked.

"Sirius, this is how it has to be sometime. It's not like you're leaving forever. I'll see you at Christmas. Don't argue," he said, still not looking up from his paper.

I sighed deeply, trying not to show I was disappointed and walked over. I tried to give him a hug but before I could, he stuck his hand out to shake. I smiled weakly and took his hand. My father had always taught me that showing emotion was a sign of weakness and my going to Hogwarts was going to be no different. "Make us proud, Sirius," he said, before turning back to his paper.

I walked back to my mother and brother, who were still holding the portkey, and grabbed it just as it transported us to Platform 9 ¾.

Well, the thing you must understand about my parents is that when they say, "make us proud," they mean it. I know a lot of parents say that, but if their child doesn't follow exactly in their footsteps, they forgive them, right? Well, my parents didn't. This loving scene was the last I would ever experience in my house. I know it wasn't perfect, that some things were still a little odd about this picture, but it was all I had and all I knew and I missed it when it was gone, more then I'd be willing to admit. My parents never looked at me again with love, compassion and pride. When I returned for Christmas expecting to see them smiling lovingly, I was shocked to be met by hate, loathing, anger and disappointment. I knew they were angry and disappointed but I never expected such a cold response. But why am I going on about that? We're not there yet, are we?