Just a Kiss

Harry swallowed hard, knowing he resembled a dog with its tail between its legs.

"I... want to be with you again."

Ginny stared.

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Twenty minutes earlier...

His mind was going crazy--Harry could hardly think straight. He didn't know why he felt this way... not so much angry as hurt.

And it hurt bad.

He stopped and looked back at the bush he had just left. The hole he had made was still smoking, and somehow he... expected Luna to come through it any second, pleading her innocence.

She didn't.

Well I don't care, Harry thought furiously after waiting a few moments. She can stay in the stupid bush if she wants to! His fiery gaze went from the bush to the castle, chest heaving.

She lied to me! His heart pounded so hard in his chest it hurt. I can't believe I actually thought we could...

She's not who I thought she was.

Damnit! He could feel the tears coming on. Why did it hurt so damn bad?

No! He wouldn't cry. Not over this. Not over a fake.

Not over Luna.

He made it back to the castle, wiping hard at his eyes. Filch let him in, and maybe the heavens had opened up and shined on Harry Potter, because Filch did not question him in any way. He didn't bother him, ask him why Luna wasn't with him, or why he was empty-handed, and Harry was thankful.

He was on his way upstairs when someone caught his arm. "Oh!" A shorter girl was looking up at him anxiously. "You're Harry Potter, right?"

"No, I'm the Bloody Baron," Harry threw back irritably. The last thing he needed was another one like her...

The girl ignored his rudeness and held out a scroll. "Hermione Granger let me borrow her Arithmancy notes because I joined that S.P.E.W thing--"

Despite himself, Harry made a face. He hadn't known that Hermione was still holding up with S.P.E.W., but then realized that if he had truly thought that then he didn't know Hermione very well.

"--and she had left this inside by accident...She was really excited, I think, about having another member, because she doesn't seem the type to misplace things--" She was nervously twirling a piece of brown hair around her finger, and Harry wondered why she seemed to be making excuses for Hermione misplacing the paper. It wasn't like it mattered to him.

Harry took the scroll of parchment from her and tucked it into his pocket. "I'll give it to her." He looked up. "That's what you wanted, right?"

"Yes. Make sure it gets to her right away," she instructed, suddenly firm. She watched Harry carefully as she spoke again, as if trying to tell him something with her eyes. "Don't show it to anyone, okay?"

"Yeah. Whatever." He started back up the stairs, but the girl spoke again.

"Hey--Harry?"

Harry turned, wondering what it could be now. "What?"

"You know, life is like a box of chocolates," she said knowingly, her eyes sparkling. "You never know what you're gonna get."

"O-kay..." Harry frowned, confused. Where had that come from? Had the whole world gone insane? "I think I've heard that somewhere before..." he mumbled.

The girl suddenly looked worried. "Have you ever heard of Forrest Gump?" she asked, nervously twirling that piece of hair around her finger again.

Harry shook his head. "No, I've never been there."

"Good." The girl was instantly happier. "Well--see ya!" she called, turning around and going back down the hallway.

He shrugged and continued up the stairs. Although that had been weird, he was grateful for the diversion.

If life's like a box of chocolates, he thought, then mine is full of Hagrid's rock cakes.

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He had just passed the Library when he saw Ginny. She was just leaving the Library, her bag slung over her shoulder. She walked fast with her head down, as if she had blinders on either side of her head. Harry nearly turned to hide behind the coat of armor on his left, not exactly being prepared--what was he going to say to her? "I know the past two days have been really crazy, but I found out Luna somehow gave me Amormentia and--" The voice in his head silenced; thinking about what Luna had done was still difficult to deal with.

"Harry?"

He jumped. "Ginny!" The name was strangled in his throat. His ex-girlfriend was standing right next to him and he hadn't noticed.

"What are you doing?" she asked softly, eyes on the floor

Harry swallowed hard, knowing he resembled a dog with its tail between its legs.

"I... want to be with you again."

Ginny stared. For a millisecond her mouth twitched as if she wanted to smile, but that was quickly crushed. Her eyes roved Harry over and he realized her apprehension. He was dirty, smudges of mud on his knees, elbows, and face, with bits of twig and leaf stuck in his hair; his hand was slightly bloody from when he had hurt it earlier, and his eyes were red.

"Why?"

Harry was taken aback. "...What?"

Ginny blinked hard, shaking her head. "Why--why do you want me now? You said--"

"I was wrong."

"No..." Ginny frowned, folding her arms across her chest. "I'm not stupid, Harry," she told him, sounding more like herself. "What happened these past two days?"

"People like Lavender and Parvati spreading rum--" he started, but Ginny cut him off, shaking her head again.

"No--I mean..." She stared at him dead-on. "What really happened between you and Luna?"

Harry froze.

"It doesn't matter," he finally choked out, turning away from Ginny's penetrating stare. "I found out she slipped me love potion."

His words hung in the air like a looming raincloud.

And then, to his surprise, Ginny laughed.

"Luna... slip you love potion?" she asked incredulously, fighting back giggles. "Harry--do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?"

He gaped at her, lost for words.

Ginny took his arm. "Harry--I'm not sure of all that's been going on, and I know Luna can be..." She grinned. "Well, Luna sometimes, but she would never do something like that."

"So..." said Ginny, her voice lowering after Harry didn't respond, "you... you thought you were in love with Luna."

"No!" Harry answered instantly, but a sharp look from Ginny made him add, "Not exactly..." Gods, could it get any worse than this? Telling his ex-girlfriend about how he had felt about one of her friends while they were dating?

Unable to help herself, Ginny rolled her eyes. "So you found yourself attracted to her... a lot."

"She wasn't attracted to me, though," Harry murmured, without realizing he had said it aloud. His own words surprised him, and a single thought rose to the top of his brain--something that was in his face the whole time, and he had been too blind to see it--Luna did not like him.

Luna was not attracted to him.

She had rejected his advances once and her Amortentia was... not him.

If Luna didn't like him, why would she give him love potion?

"And because of that you thought she gave you love potion?"

Harry didn't respond--he didn't have to. She knew the answer, and besides, his look and the events of the past two days said it all. He was too shocked by this internal revelation to speak, anyway.

"You must have felt really strongly about her," Ginny said.

Harry nodded, unable to look her in the eye.

"So you thought that after you'd found out about her... betrayal you'd run back to me, right?" Ginny's eyes glinted and her tone took on an edge Harry hadn't expected. "Like I'm just there for you to use anytime you want? Have me, leave me, run back, and do it all again? Like I wouldn't care?" She snatched her hand away from his arm as if she'd been burned.

"Look," said Harry desperately, taking her arm back, "it's just that I realized--I realized that--that I... thought..." he trailed off slowly, a strange feeling washing over him like a warm wave.

He let go of Ginny and took a step back; it was all suddenly so surreal, like he was watching a movie--Ginny the Red VS Harry the Dumb, and his ears was filled of the sound of the inside of a seashell...

He felt like he was standing aside looking at himself... and he didn't like what he saw.

"You're right," he said suddenly, breaking back into reality.

Harry took her hands in his. "I'm sorry, Ginny. I'm really sorry." And he honestly was. "I didn't mean for it to be like this."

Ginny's anger fled her, even in her posture--her shoulders lowered and her muscles relaxed. She opened her mouth to speak, but failed to talk, and her face turned to Harry inquiringly.

He swallowed. This was hard. "I can't be with you. I care about you, Ginny, but... this wasn't meant to be. Not like this." His eyes searched hers. "And somehow, I think you know that," he said slowly, grasping the truth of this as he spoke the words.

At first Ginny was silent, and her stare seemed to look through Harry rather than at him. Then she nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "You took over four years of my life without knowing it," she started, looking at the floor. "All I could think about was you, Harry Potter, and how perfect you were..." She allowed herself a giggle and touched his cheek, blinking hard so she wouldn't cry. "No one could really compare to you, Harry. Not a one, although I tried not to judge. And then I finally had you for my own... and it was like I'd won some sort of contest." She sighed. "I didn't want you to be my prize, I wanted you to be you, with me, but I couldn't..."

It was difficult for Harry to hear, yet somehow he'd always had a nagging feeling about it, like he'd known. Ginny, although as she got older she hid it well, had simply been in admiration of him; infatuated, like she overdosed on Amortentia upon first sight the famous Harry Potter, with no sign of recovery.

He felt sorry for her.

Ginny closed her eyes. "I couldn't see it like that. Until now." She squeezed his other hand. "And now," she told him, frustration flowing into her voice, "I'm here, and you're here, and everything has suddenly become clear as glass and I--we can't..." She broke, and the tears flowed freely. "Luna's not the fake, Harry. I am."

Harry pulled her into him and hugged her. Ginny wasn't his girlfriend anymore, but she was his friend, and he wasn't going to let her hurt like this without knowing she could still count on him, prize or not.

"I'm just as bad as the rest of them," Ginny mumbled, pulling back from Harry and wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands.

Harry shook his head. "Nobody's perfect."

Ginny punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Thanks," she told him sarcastically, a wavering laugh escaping her lips. She turned away from him. "You should talk to Luna, Harry."

"I can't," he mumbled to her back. "I..."

She sniffed. "You were really mean to her, weren't you?"

He nodded, ashamed, then realized she couldn't see him. "Yes." Ginny had confessed that she was what he had accused Luna of being, someone who only wanted him for shallow reasons. Yet he hadn't gotten half as upset with her as he had with Luna. He felt horrible.

"You can be a real jerk sometimes," Ginny remarked between sniffs. Harry grimaced, but could not help cracking a smile. "Talk to her."

His stomach was steadily being invaded by butterflies. "But what if she--"

"She'll listen to you. She's Luna." Her tone was firm and almost fond, but Harry detected a bit of bitterness, too. "Do it," she urged, her voice cracking.

"Okay," he promised, watching her hair. He wanted to say something more to her, to tell her something to make her feel better, but he couldn't. Instead, as he walked away, he silently wished that Ginny would find someone better than him.

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Ginny was finally left alone in the huge, cold corridor. Her lips trembled badly as she tried in vain to stop the tears that kept falling.

Too caught up in her troubles, she didn't hear the footsteps that sounded behind her, but she did hear the smooth, drawling voice of the owner.

"What are you crying for, Weasley?"

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