Just a Kiss

What a fucking day.

This thought, usually uncensored, crossed Harry Potter's mind for the thirty-seventh time the next day. He had wolfed down a quick dinner, before the majority of Hogwarts students had even arrived at the Great Hall, and after killing some time in the library, he was on his way to detention.

Directly after Ginny had left the Astronomy Tower the previous night, Harry's feet had twitched, almost pitching him forward, but he squashed the urge to run after her. He had spent about another hour alone on the tower, and upon contemplating his and Ginny's short conversation, he had to ask himself: What do I want to do?

He could not decide. He had strong feelings for Ginny, but yet he had allowed her to break up with him without complaint; it was strange, unnerving, even, how everything between them had changed so fast--it all just blew up. Then there was Luna... and a possibility that he wasn't willing to consider just yet.

His day had started off with a trying-not-to-look-pissed-off Ron waiting for him to wake up and demanding to know what was happening between his best friend and little sister. (When Harry had returned to Gryffindor Tower hours ago, the occupants of his dorm had been asleep.) Harry could not blame Ron for acting the way he did, and after he gave Ron a quick, edited summary of the previous day, his best friend brusquely accepted his explanation and seemed slightly less angry. He told Harry that Hermione had talked to brother and sister after the incident in the common room, and both accounts matched up.

It was times like these that Harry was glad that he had Hermione as a friend--she had broken her vow not to tell, yet she had done so in such a way that he came out of it alive, having withheld the information that could have ruined everything (more than it already was).

"No offense, but I just wanted to be sure," Ron had said gruffly, looking away from him and shrugging. "She's my sister, you know?"

Harry's whole day could be summed up in one word: tense. Ginny, he knew, was hiding behind a cheerful mask, so nobody would be able to see how hurt she was--Harry could tell by the look in her eyes and her fake, forced laughter at the Gryffindor table at breakfast. She had for the most part ignored him, only speaking to him when it was absolutely necessary, like when she asked, very formally, to pass the butter.

As far as he knew Ginny had told her friends somewhat about the mix-up as well, and for the most part none of them were as hostile as Harry had predicted, although there were many glares sent his way and lots of whispering going on when his back was turned.

He couldn't say that he wasn't used to this behavior from the Hogwarts students before--he recalled phrases such as "The Heir of Slytherin" and "POTTER STINKS", amongst other things--but although he very much would have liked it to, dealing with it never got any easier.

Maybe one day he would. It was bound to happen again; after all, he was Harry Potter, wasn't he?

Ron and Hermione stuck by his side, though, and he was grateful for it, even if Ron was still having trouble looking him in the eye, and in class Hermione was constantly shooting worried glances at him.

As a method of distraction, Harry had really thrown himself into his schoolwork, listening intently to his teachers and immersing himself in every book and activity that came his way.

He hadn't seen Luna all day, and he had the vague feeling that she was trying to avoid him. Granted, he didn't ordinarily see Luna between classes or anything, but still... he couldn't shake it. Not that he could blame her if she was avoiding him.

He had replayed many of yesterday's scenes over and over in his mind, one being him holding Luna on the Astronomy Tower. The memory always made him blush. Maybe Luna had thought that Harry did like her romantically after he did what he did, but she didn't feel the same, and so it made sense that she might try to evade him as a way of telling him so.

Yeah right, Harry thought to himself, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Like Luna would ever think I liked her. Like I ever... and here he stopped, right as he was descending the stairs the led to the dungeons, because in his heart...

He knew he was lying.

But--no! How could it be possible?

Could it be that in the process of one day, he, one Harry Potter who had (had) a girlfriend that was considered one of the most popular and prettiest girls in school, had fallen for Luna Lovegood, who was not only unpopular but... Harry could not pretend that Luna wasn't pretty, because she was in his eyes, and her body had attracted him as well, something he couldn't deny any longer. Plus, he did not really care if Luna was unpopular or not. As loony as people said she was, Harry knew it wasn't so, not after what she had revealed to him yesterday.

Which brought him back to the question that had been plaguing him all day: What did he want to do? The words repeated over and over in his head as he resumed walking and reached the Potions classroom, where he would be serving detention with Luna, almost wishing he didn't have to see her just now, because he wasn't ready to deal with it. But he pulled opened the heavy door anyway. The last thing he needed was another detention.

Luna was sitting Indian-style on one of the tables, holding an empty jar, and it took all of Harry's willpower to look at her from the waist up, forgetting all about not wanting to see her. She stared.

"Where's Professor Slughorn?" Harry inquired, trying not to look at her.

"He went to go talk to Mister Filch," she answered vaguely, waving her hand. "He said we should get started on organizing the ingredients from the box in the corner and putting them in the cabinets..."

"Oh, okay," said Harry with a groan, rolling up his sleeves and taking a peek at the very large crate before them, filled with different jars.

"...Unless we could get him some Bubhubs, because he could really use the wings for his sixth-year class," Luna continued, and Harry raised an eyebrow. "I told him I knew where a flock of them tend to go to on the grounds, and that's why he's gone off to see Mister Filch, so we wouldn't get in trouble for leaving."

Harry picked up one of the jars in the crate, inspecting the slimy pink object inside. "Really?" He couldn't believe his change of luck. If he went... er--Hubboob-hunting with Luna, he wouldn't have to listen to Slughorn the whole time.

"She apologized, you know."

He nearly dropped the jar in his hand. "Huh? Who?"

"Ginny," said Luna, matter-of-factly, her large eyes on him. "She told me she was very sorry for suspecting me of any wrongdoing, and asked for my forgiveness." She propped her head on her fist. "Oh, and she made Victoria Frobisher apologize for tripping me as well. I wasn't expecting it, really."

Harry just stared at her. He wanted to smile, because Ginny was trying to make things right, but found he couldn't. His stomach beginning to feel queasy, the tiny voice in his head told him that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't wanted Ginny to straighten it all out. Maybe he just wanted to leave things be; it'd be easier that way.

Easier? To do...?

He shook his head free of the disconcerting thought and forced himself to think about something else. He held the jar up to his face again and studied the disgusting creature inside intensely.

The door opened, and the overly-large Potions professor entered. "Harry!" he greeted jovially, smiling and wiping at his face with a handkerchief. "You've gotten into a spot of trouble again, then? No problem, of course, as--"

"Luna's told me about the Hubboobs," he interrupted, a bit crankily.

"Bubhubs, Harry my boy! If Miss Lovegood here can procure them as she says she can," Slughorn said, shooting Luna a quick glance--"then we'll be using their wings for next Monday's class."

"Alright then, let's go Luna," said Harry shortly, putting the jar back into the crate and starting out the door, not caring to be here longer than he had to.

Luna jumped off the table, her robes sliding behind her, and followed him out. They walked in silence, Harry's footsteps loud and impatient; Luna's light and easy.

"She misses you, Harry. I can tell."

Harry didn't look at her. "I know." He was saved from expounding upon this subject when Hagrid's booming voice greeted them at the front doors.

"Hullo, Harry!" Hagrid called out with a smile as Filch watched him sulkily. "An' Luna, isn' it?" Luna smiled back, and Harry could only guess that her opinion of Hagrid had somehow changed over the past year. He made a mental note to ask her about it. "Well come on then, I'll be watchin' from me cabin, 'snot too far from there..."

Soon he was leading Harry and Luna to the garden behind his cabin, and pointed to a massive clump of bushes and undergrowth a minute or two's walk from his giant tomatoes. "O'course, Luna must know th' way." He shook his great shaggy head, saying, "Ne'er could catch 'em, I was always too big ta get in." With that, he told them he'd be right in the cabin, but checking on them from a ways periodically, and to send up green sparks from their wands if they needed anything.

The pair said goodbye as Hagrid waved them off under watchful eyes and made their way to the clump of bushes. They were so thick Harry wondered how they were to get inside, but Luna quickly answered that; she crouched down low and whispered, "This way," before crawling into a hole that seemed to only just have enough room to allow her through.

Harry crawled after her, forcing himself to look down and not straight ahead at Luna's backside. A moment or so later he found that they were in some sort of a hollow within the bushes, but it was so dark he couldn't see a thing. He reached for his wand, but almost as if Luna knew what he was doing, he heard her whisper, "No lights" and touch his hand to stop him.

Harry flinched instinctively, and instantly wished he hadn't when Luna took her hand back. "If there's a light the Bubhubs will know we're here and stay away," she murmured, rustling about in her robe pocket.

"What are you looking for?" Harry whispered curiously.

"Amortentia, to attract the Bubhubs. I stole a bottle of it while the Professor was out," she answered casually.

"What do you mean, you stole it?" Harry asked, surprised.

"The Bubhubs only come here from deep in the forest a few times a year, to mate, and it is very hard to catch them at all, they're so rare." There was a pop! As Luna pulled the stopper off of the potion container, and Harry was struck by an assortment of alluring scents filling his nostrils.

"I wasn't very interested in organizing Professor Slughorn's potion ingredients, so I told him I'd be able to catch some Bubhubs for him out of season and he agreed immediately. If I would have told him about needing Amortentia, he would have been able to do the job himself, and we would still be in the dungeons," Luna finished logically, splashing some of the love potion on the bushes and ground.

Harry had to grin. Luna was sneaky, like Ginny.

Like Ginny. He sighed, and a disturbing thought entered his brain. What if he were tricking himself? What if he was attracted to a girl that had many attributes as the one he was supposed to be dating? But then again, he reasoned, the girls' cleverness was probably the only thing they had in common, besides the fact that they were both females. This cheered him up a bit, and as the Amortentia got stronger as Luna soaked the surrounding area, he found himself trying to identify each scent. There was the flowery, woodsy smell that belonged to Ginny, but it was faint, overpowered by a familiar aroma he couldn't place, a strange mix of what he soon categorized as freshly cut flowers, earth... He closed his eyes and concentrated. Gingersnaps...? And... oranges?

Luna went on. "I heard Hermione Granger discussing it with Ronald Weasley in the corridor a few days ago--I assume they were studying for finals, although I'm not quite sure why Hermione seemed so embarrassed..."

Harry swallowed back a chuckle as he remembered Hermione describing Amortentia from her perspective, and could see why she had been so embarrassed when talking about it with Ron. Then, too suddenly, it hit him. His stomach dropped into his knees but yet his heart rate increased. There was no denying it now... He knew that smell, having only discovered it the previous night--

"What do you smell, Harry?" Luna asked dreamily, inhaling deeply.

"Why don't you tell me what you smell first?" he quickly asked instead, not realizing the nature of this until he closed his mouth. What does Luna find attractive? he wondered nervously.

"Violets and radish shampoo," she answered.

"Oh." It was hard to ignore his discontent at her answer. That was the second time he felt Luna had rejected him, though she didn't know it. He closed his eyes and tried to shake the feeling off. He didn't need this, it was time to let this whole thing go.

Luna was not attracted to him. Period. Get over it.

He nearly burst with frustration. Shaking his head hard, he made a decision then and there--he would go back to Ginny, and let his newfound feelings for Luna fade. Ginny liked him. Ginny was safe. Luna was neither.

Harry was already planning it in his mind: he'd spend all of his free time with Ginny, being the best boyfriend he could be, and sooner or later they would learn to love each other, and then he would finally, finally receive his fireworks kiss.

Damn. Why'd he even think it? It all came back down to the fireworks kiss. It was best to forget all about that too, he decided, no matter how hard it was. It would come naturally, he tried to assure himself. Luna had said that love took time...

"Do you hear something?" Luna whispered into the darkness, breaking him from his thoughts.

Harry tensed and listened hard. "No," he told her after a moment. "Did you think it was a-uh--Bubhub?"

"No, I thought it might have been something else from the forest," she replied. "You didn't think the Amortentia would only attract Bubhubs, did you?"

This was something Harry had not thought of. "You mean other things from the forest would..." He trailed off, feeling squirmish--what if Aragog's crew smelled the love potion? It'd probably smell like fresh human, he though cynically.

"Oh, don't worry," she assured him. "Many of the forest's creatures are really nice, I've met a few--"

"You haven't met Aragog," Harry muttered, but Luna didn't seem to hear him.

"--and besides, if they aren't so nice, we just need to place a barrier around the bush or cast sleeping spells on them," she added cheerfully.

"Okay," Harry agreed, although silently he reminded himself to be extra-alert. He knew firsthand about more than a few of the not-so-nice creatures Luna spoke of.

"It's funny, isn't it? Amortentia?" Luna whispered some time later, sounding a bit awed. By now the two had gotten uncomfortable sitting up in the space--especially Harry, as the top of his head had gotten scratched quite a few times by branches and thorns--and they were laying on their backs, side by side. The space couldn't accommodate Harry's feet, though, and they were stuck in some brambles ahead of him. There had been no sign of the Bubhubs, but they had already had put a strange-looking deer with one horn and a blue nose to sleep nearby.

Harry, his head right above Luna's on the ground, waited for her to continue. He was both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time; he was enjoying this quiet time with Luna, but now that he had considered her off-limits, he was eager to get back to Ginny and turn everything right-way-up again. Even so, he was positively nervous--his whole right side was pressed against Luna's, and despite the decision he made tonight, he couldn't help relishing the feel. He was desperately attempting not to dwell on it.

However, the Amortentia's formula had not changed, which confused him. Ginny's scent was still weak and Luna's strong.

"One sip and you're taken over," Luna was saying softly, "totally infatuated with the person who gave it to you, whether you know them or not, had any feelings for them or not..."

Alarm bells started going off in Harry's mind...

"...although infatuation isn't actual love, really..."

The strongest love potion in the world...

"...love is stronger than that, though, isn't it? True love..."

Harry jolted straight up. "Y-you!" he spluttered, eyes wide.

"What?" Luna sat up too, sounding confused but yet... could he really hear a bit of hopefulness in her voice?

"You slipped me love potion!" he accused furiously, beyond caring about who or what would hear. "That's why I've been--why I couldn't stop thinking about--I can't believe you'd do something like that!"

"I'd never do that," said Luna, her voice low and wavering. "I'd never--"

"I knew it!" Harry yelled, banging his fist down the ground. It hurt, having hit several rough twigs, but he ignored the pain. "I knew there was no logical way I could ever think I--I had anything close to feelings for you! Damn it, Luna..." He hung his head. "You're just like the rest of them, aren't you?"

Luna's long mane of hair touched his face as she shook her head vehemently. "Harry, I didn't do it, I--"

"Just stay away from me," he told her firmly, breathing hard. "Just stay away from me and Ginny." He pulled out his wand and wordlessly blasted a hole in the bush with the Reductor Curse and staggered through, blinking back unexpected tears.