Just a Kiss

When did we get here? Harry thought. He was outside of the castle, on top of the Astronomy Tower, to be exact.

Things had gone by in a blur since Ginny has slapped him in front of the entire Gryffindor common room, and without even realizing it, Luna had somehow lead him up here. He had to wonder at how she did it without Filch or any of the staff finding out, but his thoughts were instantly replaced with those of Ginny, and the anger and hurt on her face minutes (hours?) ago.

Turmoil went about within him. He felt sad because Ginny hated him, angry at himself for not being a bit more tactful when entering the common room and angry at Ginny as well, for not coming to him first instead of listening to a bunch of (ninety-nine-point-nine percent) untrue rumors and jumping to conclusions when she saw him with Luna.

Scowling, he staggered over to where Luna was, sitting on the edge of the tower, her legs dangling over the edge.

"What are you thinking about, Harry?" she asked, looking out into the night.

Harry glared at her. Though he knew it was irrational, a part of him could not help but think that she was to blame of today's events. If only Luna had not asked him that damn question...

Luna's voice drifted over to him, her hair looking very pale in the moonlight. "I feel like that sometimes, too,"

Annoyed, Harry rolled his eyes. "But I didn't say anything."

"I know," Luna told him matter-of-factly. She turned and smiled. "But I still meant it."

"When? When have you felt like that, Miss Luna Lovegood?" he asked her, half-angry and half-incredulous. "When have you--" Harry gave a short, sarcastic laugh--"felt like the weight of the world is on your shoulders? Like everyone is out to get you--like you can never have a moment's peace?" He folded his arms over his chest imposingly.

"Once a week," answered Luna softly, surprising him. "On Sunday nights, actually." She rested her head on her fist, still holding his challenging gaze. "That's when I come up here, and I allow myself to be sad, or mad, about anything that's been bothering me for that week, and then I throw it all out to the sky."

She sighed and drummed her heels against the stone wall. "Last week, my Gibberish Dictionary was stolen; Daddy was in St. Mungo's because he had a bad encounter with a herd of Nifflers during an investigative report; and on top of that, I was missing my mother pretty badly--she and Daddy's seventeenth wedding anniversary would have been on the fifth. Oh, and the usual, as well." Harry took the usual to be the everyday taunting that Luna received.

Harry felt his arms fall slowly to his sides, ashamed. He hated when he got like this, when he had these self-centered outbursts. Perhaps Luna wasn't "The Boy Who Lived", and Ginny hadn't slapped her, but that didn't mean she didn't have her own problems.

"I know you probably aren't ready to do so now," Luna went on, "but maybe this Sunday you'd like to do what I do, and throw your problems to the sky."

"But how can you do that?" Harry wondered aloud. "How can you just let it all go?"

She shrugged. "I have to. Otherwise it would eat me up inside."

Harry couldn't argue with the wisdom of her words. He went to the edge of the tower near Luna and looked out, seeing what one would normally see at this time of night at Hogwarts--the stars and moon in the sky, an owl or two flying about, and smoke coming from Hagrid's chimney.

He glanced at Luna, who was attempting to brush her hair back as a cold breeze whipped it around her face, and sat down next to her.

They sat together in a content silence for quite a while, during which the wind picked up and it became considerably cooler. Harry wished he had not left his robes in his dorm, but all the same, he didn't want to leave.

He heard a quiet but sharp intake of breath and immediately turned to Luna--she had shivered, and Harry could actually follow the quick ripple of cold going up her body. Luna rubbed her upper arms in an attempt to warm herself, but didn't do anything else.

Harry's breath caught in his throat as he watched her. She shivered once more, and gooseflesh appeared on her arms, but yet she did nothing, and he could not look away.

His heart beat faster, and he found himself hoping she would do a spell to warm herself or suggest they go back inside--anything--but she did not, and he suddenly ached to warm her up, not with a spell of his own, but with his own body heat. He wanted to be next to her. Any thoughts of Ginny and the rest of that day's disasters had flown from his mind.

"You're shivering," he managed to get out.

Luna looked back at him rubbed her arms again. "So are you."

She was right--Harry hadn't even realized it until now. He nodded.

She glanced at the moon, her namesake, before meeting his eyes again. The stars seemed unusually bright, and the magical filter had been placed around them again; as if the world were only comprised of he and Luna alone.

He raised his hand tentatively, unable to look away from her blue-eyed stare. "Do you--" he started, but couldn't continue. The aching thickly dripped little by little into his stomach.

Ever so slowly, carefully, he touched Luna's side. He half-expected her to jump or shy away from his touch, but Luna did neither, never tearing her eyes away from his own.

Her body under the fabric of her white blouse warmed his hand almost instantly, and he fought the urge to move his hand underneath it and touch her bare skin. Instead, he concentrated at the task at hand, sliding his hand across her back until he found her other side. Squeezing her lightly, he moved closer to her, until their legs touched.

She smells good, he thought vaguely, as his nostrils were filled with several different scents at once, all of which combined to create something heavenly. His breathing slowed, and he relaxed. He was feeling a lot warmer now, and knew Luna was too; she had stopped shivering and removed her hands from her arms.

...But she wasn't comfortable, Harry realized. She was not stiff, but save for her arms, she had not moved any other part of her body.

He was filled with a disappointment greater than anything he had expected--if he had expected this situation in the first place--and finally, had to look away. The magical filter had disappeared. He attempted to remove his arm from her waist, but found it hard. "Luna..." he tried, not knowing what he was going to say.

Luna suddenly tensed, and Harry saw her ears actually wiggle; then she reached behind her and gently pushed his arm off of her. "Ginny's waiting for you," she said in a low voice.

"Huh?" Harry looked at her questionably, but Luna was looking back toward the door which had led them onto the tower, many yards away.

Ginny stood there in the open doorway, staring at them silently. The light that illuminated from torches within the stairwell shined behind her, lighting up her red hair and giving her a sort of ethereal look.

"I'll see you later, Harry," said Luna her tone neutral; too neutral. She got up and headed for the door. She gave Ginny a quick noncommittal wave before opening the door and descending the stairs.

Harry stood, somewhat shakily, and shoved his hands into his pockets. Ginny was here, yes, and by the look on her face he could tell she seemed quite apologetic, meaning their first fight was going to end in the minutes ahead.

However, he could not ignore the uneasy feeling that was slowly gnawing away at his stomach, or the fact that he could not think of what to say, or the knowledge of what had just transpired between him and Luna.

It was Ginny, though, who spoke first, but only after a moment or two's silence as she walked over to him. "I'm sorry."

"I know." It was not what he had meant to tell her, but the words had worked their way through his mouth before he could stop them.

"I acted more than a bit rashly," she admitted softly, and reached up with a soft hand to caress his left cheek, where she had slapped him. "I didn't mean to, Harry, I really didn't. It's just I was hearing all of these things and then when I saw you with Luna like that I..." she trailed off, looking into his eyes. "I know you wouldn't do something like that... I wasn't thinking."

"I know," Harry said again, monotonously, without wanting to. The little monster inside of him devoured a bit more of his stomach lining.

"You're still angry." It wasn't a question. Ginny's gaze moved downward, and she removed her hand from his face. "I'll just..." she hesitated and after a few moments of pregnant silence she tried again. "You know, Harry, if you want to... take a break, or something like that, I'd understand," she offered, although the shakiness of her voice told him otherwise.

A part of Harry longed to tell her no, he didn't want to do that at all, that he just wanted everything back to normal--as close to normal as life had ever been for him, anyway--but he couldn't. His throat had been constricted, as if by some invisible force.

He could not speak as Ginny backed away, prompted by his lack of response, and gradually made her way over to the door.

Could not tell her to stay as she placed her hand on the cold iron door handle, opened the door and departed, without so much as a goodbye.