Reflections and Goodbyes

I sat curled up in my favorite armchair by the fire facing them. My boys were laughing with carefree smiles on their faces as they played exploding snap. It was the last few days of school after exams; soon we would all go our separate ways. Sure, we promised each other that we would keep in touch, that we would get together constantly once we left school. I had strong doubts about that.

Tears pricked the corner of my eyes as I smiled, thinking of the many happy times we had had together over the past seven years. I thought of our first real adventure: tackling a mountain troll on our own. How stupid we were then! At eleven, I had thought of myself as superior to Harry and Ron. I had been so wrong. Those boys had more heart than anyone I had met.

Time had flown by as our adventure became more dangerous and less for the hell of it. In fifth year, we had gone to the ministry on a heroic mission for Harry to save Sirius. What a failure that had been. I will always remember the change in Harry's face when he realized it had all been an evil trick. His green eyes had lost some of their warmth. The little bit of naïveté that had remained in his stare, that tiny speck, had suddenly been completely extinguished. My heart aches as I try to remember the boy I had known previously.

Memories of love and anger, of happiness and sadness overwhelmed me. I remembered my spats with Ron over the stupidest things. In sixth year, we had finally admitted we had feelings for each other, with Harry's help, only to realize that when we kissed, it was like kissing a sibling. I shuddered slightly at the memory.

Look at my boys there. When's the next time I'll see them like this? Ron's devilish grin as he finally beats Harry at something; Harry's look of frustration at Ron's taunting. My vision blurs slightly as the tears begin to fall. I love these boys with all my heart. As the days pass, I distance myself a little at a time to make the separation a little easier. When I was younger, I always found it easier to part with a best friend farther apart than before.

I picture myself on the platform after exiting the train: I'll cry as I hug them both, listening to their shallow promises of keeping in touch no matter what. Both will then follow their girlfriends through the gate of the platform into the real world, giving, at most, one glance back to me. Maybe the last glance I'll get before Voldemort takes them away. This vision sends me over the edge into shoulder racking tears.

I stare at my knees as I cry, hoping no one has noticed my painful tears; the tears that feel like acid burning down my cheeks. I feel a hand on my shoulder and one stroking my hair. I raise my head ever so slightly, hoping against hope that it's a girl whose come to comfort me and not my boys. Unfortunately, I see the soft brown eyes of Ron and the mesmerizing green eyes of Harry peering uncomfortably down at me. I shake my head, wipe my eyes, and tell them that I was just being silly, that they shouldn't worry. They both give me brief one-armed hugs before returning to their game. When their backs are turned, I shudder, realizing that one-armed hugs are the future of my good-byes.