Until Death

Until Death

Part Eleven

Harry woke up again to a place unknown. Damnit, why don't these people just leave me alone? He woke up not outside in the cold, but in his bed, warm, and safe with his robes on still. Unlike Draco, who was cold and dead. Harry's eyes started to water as he remembered last night. He did not want to open his eyes. He did not want to open his eyes to the world that awaited him without Draco. Sure, he hated him before, but that was before he knew about Draco, the good side, the tortured side, the true side. The side he had known forever was the masked side, the side that he wanted everyone to see, even if he posed as an arrogant bastard.

He stayed in bed, hiding his face in his blankets. But someone poked Harry in the ribs to wake him. "Go away," was all Harry could muster himself to mumble.

"Mate, get up. I don't know why you're being such a bloody bitch about everything lately. I think Malfoy messed with your head," Harry heard Ron say. At the moment Ron spoke those words, Harry sprang out of bed, with his scar searing with the angry fire inside his head. It was not the usual red flames that burnt in his mind. This time, his scar got white-hot with the rage that was nailing at his head to be let out.

"Don't you DARE say that to me, Ron. You have absolutely not a fucking clue what has gone on in the last twenty four hours," Harry said, with only a flicker coming out of his head.

"I don't, but I'm sure Malfoy does."

"MALFOY IS FUCKING DEAD, YOU SON OF A BITCH!! HE DIED LAST NIGHT!!" Ron went blank.

"Well...." was all he replied.

"WELL?! WELL?! THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO BLOODY SAY?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HE HAD TO GO THROUGH?!"

"Oh yeah, being rich and teasing people all day must really take a toll on you."

"You know what you need to do?"

"What?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

"I CAN SHUT UP WHENEVER I DAMN WELL WANT, HARRY!! I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO!! AND THAT BLOODY GIT ONLY GOT WHAT HE DESERVED!!" Harry's face turned red with anger as all he could hear was his blood pounding through his veins. All hell broke loose then.

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD FUCKING DIE SO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MISUNDERSTOOD HE IS?!? OR BETTER YET, HOW ABOUT I DIE SO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF THE DEMONS OF DEATH KEPT CHIPPING AT YOUR SOUL, HURTING THE HELL OUT OF YOU EVERY STEP YOU TAKE!!"

"To tell you the truth, I COULD NOT GIVE A SHIT LESS WHETHER YOU DIED RIGHT NOW!!" Ron shouted angrily. With Harry's white-rage unleashed, and with Ron's temper flaring, it looked like the Hell fire had broken loose and none were doing anything but feeding it.

"Well you know what? Maybe you get what you deserve...."

"What could you possibly do to me? You're much too sensitive to hurt anything... even to someone who you've hated for the past SIX BLOODY YEARS!!"

"Fine. You want things to be that way?"

"Hit me!"

"Fine," Harry took a deep breath and took out his wand. He opened his mouth to say the most horrible spell he could think of, but then someone slapped the glasses right of his face. He felt a severe stinging on his cheek as he went to feel what had hit him. It only hurt more when he went to touch it. He turned to the force which had hit him. Hermione stood at Harry's side, with a face of defiance on. "What the HELL, HERMIONE?!"

"Don't say that to me, Harry. I heard you down in the common room. I understand that you're in pain, but you need to snap out of it!" Hermione said. "Don't take it out on Ron! He doesn't understand!"

"What the hell is there to understand?!" Ron shouted.

"You! Shut up! I'm talking here!" Hermione replied angrily at Ron. Hermione took Harry's wand. "I'll be keeping this unless you need it for classes." She pocketed it. "I don't want you doing something you're going to regret. You don't want to be like Wormtail, do you?" Harry shook his head furiously, remembering the little traitor that got his godfather in jail, which only made him angrier. His knuckled curled in to his palm and clenched together, turning white. He wanted nothing more than to go on an all-out insanity. "Ron."

"Yeah..."

"Get out," Hermione commanded.

"What?! Why?!" Ron questioned.

"Do as I say, or so help me, I'll put a curse on you!" Ron knew better than to sit around and wait for what Hermione was going to do. He ran out of the dormitories and into the common room. Hermione turned to Harry. "Harry, you need to understand that Ron is a stupid idiot, no offence, and doesn't know about you two. He never did. Plus, you know he would run away screaming his head off, and you know it if he were to know." Hermione paused. She sighed. "If it's any consolation to you, my uncle died only a year ago. I never told you because, well, you had worse things on his mind. Just so you know that I am here for you.... Also, Ron was the one who dragged you to your bed last night."

"Really?"

"Yes. He was looking for you after dinner. He didn't come back until very late with you on his shoulders. I was reading in front of the fireplace, wondering where he was. Then he trod in, with you. I asked what happened, and he said he didn't know, and that he found you outside after searching," Hermione paused. "And Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"You have some very good friends on your side, even if they are idiots and talk too much."

"Thanks, Hermione." They then embraced as Harry began to cry.

"Now come off it. There's going to be another evil blonde boy soon enough. Don't you worry," Hermione replied with a smile. All Harry could do was let a tear stream down his face. "Come on. Don't do that. You want to know what happens when you cry? I cry. And I look terrible. Hey. What's that?" Hermione asked as she pointed to the rose that Draco gave Harry the night before.

"A rose," Harry said as he felt the velvety crimson petals of the flower, remembering Draco and his last moments. He fought to hold back the tears.

"I'm surprised it's still alive."

"Why?"

"Well, if this was a magically made up one, they only last for a few hours than turn into golden dust. It's strange for something so beautiful to last longer than it's supposed to." After Hermione said that, there was a silence before Harry spoke.

"We probably better get out of here before another boy spots you up here, or they might suspect something," Harry replied and went down the stairs to meet Ron. Harry went downstairs to eat, since he hadn't had a good meal in one long week.

*******************************

Even though Harry was starving, he could not eat. He couldn't think. All he could barely do was breathe. But even then, it was hard knowing that he was breathing and Draco wasn't. God, he felt so awful. He felt like vomiting even though he hadn't eaten anything. Instead he got up from the table, and walked off. Ron went up to go after him, but Hermione motioned him back down and shook her head.

Harry stepped outside of the castle and felt the winter breeze and flakes of snow brush across his face. It was so cold. Inside and out. He pulled the sleeves of his robes over his hands as he started to walk. God, it's bloody freezing out here.

The cold breeze was running through the lifeless trees, rustling dryly, just as Draco had spoken to Harry. He looked beneath him to discover the white purity he was walking upon as more started to fall from the grey clouds above him. The breeze continued to swiftly brush past Harry's cheeks, making them red with what life was left in him. But even though blood ran through his veins, he felt as though he was dead. It seemed only minutes ago he held Draco in his arms, hoping he would never let him go, but with a slip of his fingers, he was gone.

The breeze continued to lead him and sing a sweet song to him, to cheer him up from his past sorrows. The wind did nothing to help Harry. He continued to walk, as the tears he shed turned to ice as they fell in the snow. He finally reached the other side of the frozen lake, where it was empty, emptier than the lonely, broken chasms inside his heart. He sat in the cold snow, not caring what he was feeling physically. He looked at the lake and the overall view of the castle. "See, Draco?" Harry sighed. "This is where I would have taken you first, if you were still alive." He slammed his head into the giant oak tree he was leaning back on. It hurt, but it felt better than the pain he was he was feeling inside. "I wish you were still here. I have so many unspoken thoughts that I should have said when you were still here..." Harry's voice started cracking as the harder hit of realization just slapped him in the face, his innocence being cracked like glass china. "But now... you're not here with me..." Harry cried as the breeze started to set back in and the snow continued fall on the icy lake and the white ground that hid the true life underneath it. His tears iced on his face as they reached his chin. His face turned red with the tears flowing to his eyes.

He closed his eyes as he felt the breeze sent him a message. "...the wind...everywhere... remember...." it whispered to him. Then the same silvery-figured woman appeared to him as he sat there. The breeze stopped. She wore the same tattered cloths which looked like a black burlap sack upon her delicate soul.

"Harry...." It spoke wistfully, dreamily. It took a full form now. Still transparent, but not as much as it once was. Harry was not in the mood to look at the ghost whom he had failed. Feeling worthless enough, he felt utterly pitiful as he laid eyes on the beautiful figure.

"Please kill me," Harry begged the ghost.

"Do not feel such sorrow. I know you have failed, but there is always hope," it spoke in the same French accent he remembered.

"Hope..." Harry scoffed. "There is no hope. He's dead. What hope is there left? He can't come back to life, as I am sure you have realized."

"Yes, I realize that. But, there was something that Draco did not tell you about the rose he gave you...." Harry looked to the ghost and gave a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, really?" he bit sarcastically. "Would you mind telling me what it is?"

"Ah, I think you already know," it said and smiled at Harry. "If not, I suggest you bring it to this spot. As long as you love him, the rose lives, whether it is below freezing, or boiling over. That is all I can tell you." After those words, the ghost disappeared and turned back into the breeze which dreamily passed through life, not knowing any pain or sorrow. Harry sat and thought about what the ghost had said. What the hell. At least it might give me some closure.

Harry went upstairs ignoring everyone in the common room to get the rose and return to the mark he was sitting at below the tree. He took the rose from the dresser it was gracefully sitting upon as it lost a petal when he picked up the rose. He picked up the petal and continued out.

He went back to the tree, waiting for the ghost to come back and give him further directions. The breeze was not present. All that fell upon him were the frozen flakes of ice that fell from the sky. He sat down and looked at the rose. He sighed and crossed his eyebrows at the crimson rose. He threw it at the ground and started to cry again. "Damnit Draco. Why did you have to leave me? Why? I thought about us in the future... what might have been. Why can't you be here...? I... loved you. With my heart and soul combined as one. But without you, the pain... is excruciating." He remembered the petal he picked up. There were tears on it. He did not want to these memories to pester him. He threw the petal at the rose to be rid of it. But then a bright blue light arose from the flower and out came Draco... or Draco's ghost.

"Harry..." he said languorously. Harry jumped to his feet. "Do you love me?" Draco asked, still in a dream phase, his eyes searching for sanction not looking to Harry, only towards the heavens

"YES!" Harry yelled.

"Then say it. Say it to me until you are out of breath," Draco replied, as he started to float towards the heavens. Harry obeyed. He said he loved Draco like a perfect melody he could not get out of his head. Abruptly, a bright white light shone from Draco's eyes as a shower of white shining dust circled his soul as he slowly spun in circles. Harry closed his eyes and said it more and harder, as Draco's soul spun faster and faster until his soul was liquid spindle, suspended in mid-air. Finally, the spindle stopped spinning and glowed with the white lights of love coming from him. Then the white light turned a soft hue of red. After, he dispersed into a field of scarlet rose petals upon the ground and a lump was all that was left. Harry opened his eyes to discover the pile of crimson Draco had left behind.

"I... I don't understand...." Harry said as he picked up the petals to look at them. He continued to look at the petals and the painful memories stabbed his heart again as it bled black and blue through his body. Tears came from his eyes and landed on the petals. But then, something emerged out of the petals to wipe away the tears.

"Eyes like yours should not be clouded by tears... they're too beautiful," the voice said. Harry felt a warm hand gently wipe the tears from his eyes. "Open your eyes. It's alright," the voice replied kindly. Harry opened his eyes, thinking it would be another mirage or ghost. But it was not. It was Draco, with flesh and the warmth firing in his eyes like never before. He had long platinum hair that messily played around his face and his pale skin was running through the veins of his body as he looked at Draco's unclothed body. He opened his eyes to Harry. He put a hand to Harry's face.

"I- I thought you were dead...." Harry murmured as he held Draco in his arms, feeling the blood run through them. He was never so happy to feel the pounding of a heartbeat in his life.

"I was. Indeed, I was. But then, someone told me that someone needed me more than they needed me. I had to watch you suffer as I waited for you to reincarnate me. Finally, the last moments before I left from There, my mother came to me. She told me to remember a statement she told me. She told me 'Je suis le vent, je suis le brouillard. Je suis les nuages, je suis partout. Je serai toujours partout où vous êtes.'"

"I didn't know you spoke French," Harry replied.

"I don't," Draco responded. Harry rose and eyebrow.

"Then how do you know?" Draco smiled.

"I told you my mother told me. She said, 'I am the wind, I am the fog. I am the clouds, I am everywhere. I will be always everywhere where you are,' and now... I don't have to worry about her anymore," Draco let a tear pass through his silver eyes. Harry swept it away.

"You won't ever be lonely or feel any hurt. Never again. As long as I'm here with you," Harry replied. With that, they kissed with the the life and fire that was alive inside of them. Harry took of his robes and gave them to Draco. Draco stood up and put them on, freezing in the snowy cold. "I'll Apparate ourselves out of here to someplace where no one can find us," Harry said as he gave a mischievious smile to Draco. All Draco could do was laugh with his long blonde hair flittering in the breeze.

"You read my mind like a book. Take me away," Draco replied. After that Harry and Draco disappeared from view to a place where they could remain undisturbed by anyone, to share their feeling which they had kept for each other for so long.

Well, one thing was for sure: Harry would never let Draco go again. Their hearts belonged to each other, and only each other. Harry's love would always be with Draco, as he proved it. Every kiss was another reassurance of their love; words could remain unspoken with the kiss they held with each other. It said more than "I love you". It said "I need you", "I want you", and the most of all "I'll never let you go". Now that is what people like to call unconditional, fruitful, ever-deserving, HARD-CORE love.

*****************************

THE END