Until Death

Until Death

Part Ten

Harry finally reached the intensive care. He was afraid to open the door, to see if all his suspicions were true, if all his what ifs were true. He was very scared to even touch it; afraid he might disturb something life-saving going on, until one of the Heelers stepped out of the room with a look he knew all too well. He decided he could go in there after one of the nurse's approval.

Harry pushed open the door to discover Draco who was all bandaged up and his face had red patches on it from the burns. His bad hand was bandaged properly, but the blood still soaked through. The nurse in there smiled at Harry.

"I'll leave you two alone for a minute," she said and walked out. Harry walked over to Draco, with tears glistening in his emerald eyes, seeing his thoughts were true. He stopped and stroked his hand against Draco's unburnt cheek. So soft, just the way I remember when I kissed you. He kneeled down the floor and took up Draco's bad hand and held it to his chest as he felt the horrible pain running through his veins of his heart.

"Do you feel that?" Harry said to the unconscious Draco. Draco did not answer. He looked so lifeless. A tear fell down Harry's cheek as he looked to him. "That's my heart, and it's breaking for you." Harry looked away. Just glancing at Draco made him feel so guilty, his heart continued to break into the tiniest pieces possible. So small they could fit through the eye of a needle. Suddenly, a hacking cough came from Draco as he woke up.

"Damn bloody smoke," he whispered dryly and coughed once more. Harry turned to him and beamed with joy to see him awake. Draco wheezed. "Dedra, you've been measuring my-" he turned to discover Harry at his side. He coughed as tears started to run that stung mercilessly at Draco's burnt cheek. Draco seethed at the sting. Harry took the nearest cloth and dabbed his face dry. "You came," he said. He smiled. Harry kept daubing away the tears from Draco's cheek as they slid down. "What color are my tears?" Draco asked.

"What?" Harry replied, confounded. "They're clear. As anyone else's." Draco smiled even bigger. "Why did you want to know?"

"There are so many things you are yet to understand," Draco replied hoarsely.

"We have time," Harry said. He looked at Draco as his eyes started to fall with the rain from his eyes. He closed his eyes to keep Draco from seeing his guilt and pain.

"Eyes like yours should not be clouded by tears... they're too beautiful," Draco replied hoarsely, and wiped away the tears with his good hand. "Let me see your wand," Draco asked. Harry raised an eyebrow. "Don't look me like I'm mad. I want to show you something," he coughed the horrible cough again and Harry surrendered his wand. Draco propped himself against the fluffy pillows and again coughed awfully. "Ostende flos mihi cordis," he spoke beautifully even if his voice was terribly hoarse. Harry was in awe as the candles in the room went out and a golden cloud was above Draco's chest as it lit up their faces. It slowly condensed into a beautiful deep red rose in Draco's good hand which floated like a feather just inches above.

The rose was a beautiful deep red that was deeper than the color of blood. The thorns were nowhere to be found on the magnificent color that pleased the eyes like nothing else. There was still the golden dust left behind from the spell. It surrounded the blood red lips of the flower to give it a glistening glow, like a golden rain had just rained upon it and graced it with the gift of life. "Strange..." Draco whispered. Harry tore his eyes away from the rose as he looked at Draco.

"What's strange? It's beautiful!" Harry said. Draco shook his head.

"This rose...it's more than a rose, Harry," Draco whispered and stopped to catch his breath for what he was about to say. He never let anyone know about this until now. He has to know.

"Yes?" Harry replied after Draco looked at the rose for numerous moments without even glancing at Harry. Draco closed his eyes to prepare himself. Just say it. You're going to die anyways.

"This is rose usually symbolizes my heart. My mother taught it to me when I was little. It was her way of showing me how she loved me. Usually when I did it, it would always end up black with every little thorn imaginable on it. I wanted to show my mother how much I loved her, but the spell just would not end up like hers. It did not end up like hers until now...." Draco and Harry did not speak to each other for long moments as they stared at one another, realizing the unspeakable, something that was impossible to happen. They saw it in each other's eyes. Draco choked from the smoke and interrupted the silence. It was getting worse. "Take it," Draco said to Harry when he finished coughing.

"What?" Harry questioned.

"The rose. Take it."

"Draco, I-"

"I know what you can and can't do. And as far as I can understand, there are no can'ts for you. I've never felt like this about anyone.... But you seem to understand everything that goes on in my life and understand me... and care for me. No one has ever done that for me since my mother died. And for that I am grateful, even though I can only to hope to repay you." Harry reluctantly took it, knowing he was holding what was the more precious than the world itself. Draco continued. "I am part of a family of Death Eaters, and my father wants me to be that way as well. I don't want to, though. My heart would permanently become frozen with hate and I don't want that. I want to feel love and warmth for once. That's why I asked what color my tears were. Usually when I do cry, my tears are grey and cold. I never knew why. But then, they turned clear and warm only recently. It was only then as I thought about the possibility of it being my torment. I could not be. It was something much, much better, something that I had never felt before... a feeling I had never felt in many years," Draco paused and let the silence fill the room. But then his eyes lit up as he remembered he had one last thing to give to Harry. "Oh, and I also want-" Draco coughed. Harry was trying so hard to fight back the tears of guilt and sorrow from streaming down his face. Every time Draco coughed, Harry was reminded of the crime he had done, especially to someone he cared so much about. He continued after he recovered. "I want to give you this as well," Draco reached over to the table beside his bed which rested a piece of neatly folded parchment. He handed it to Harry. Harry began to unfold it, but Draco grabbed his hands and stared him right into his bright green wondering eyes, searching for an answer to all this. "Don't open it now. Wait until you're out of this room."

"Why?" Harry pocketed it.

"Just don't. But, right now I have one more thing to ask of you," Draco asked and looked at Harry with his silver eyes stabbing Harry's soul with the heat of the love he felt for him. Harry felt it, in his very veins.

"Name it," Harry said with a smile on his face. Draco closed his eyes. He just refused to believe that something so good could happen to a miserable soul like himself.

"Do you remember when we kissed in that cabin?" Harry nodded. Draco sighed. "Did you feel anything when that happened? I want you to be honest." Harry bit his lip, afraid of what Draco would think. What if this was just a dream? What if all this was a very vivid dream that he could not wake up from? Harry's hand started to tremble slightly with fear. Draco saw it shaking and took a hold of it with his good hand. He looked at Harry, with a look that said nothing more than what he was feeling in his heart. "Because I did. And I need to know if I am just wasting my last moments with you for no reason and I am dying in vain, or that my life is actually worth something to someone who doesn't expect anything more from me than just me," Harry stood stunned at Draco as he said these words. But then Draco coughed awfully again. Harry thought he was going to literally cough up a lung. "Are you-" Draco coughed. "Are you always this quiet...or was it something I said?"

"Your very voice silences me. I do not want to speak when such a beautiful sound is being rung out. I do not regret that kiss, and I never will for as long as I live," Harry stopped and tears streamed down Draco's face and stung him like a bee. Harry wiped them away gently.

"Then one last thing I have to ask you to do for me... before I go."

"You're not going to die."

"Yes, well, just a request then, before you leave...."

"Tell me."

"Kiss me. Kiss me like you never want me to die. Like I actually mean something to you."

"Oh, you do. You just don't know how much." With that Harry held Draco in his arms and kissed him like he never thought he had the ability to do. The rose on the table bloomed more beautifully as the gold dust started to dance once more. Draco put his hands over his new lover's dark hair, wishing this moment and this feeling could last forever. Harry finally let go as he heard the door open. It was one of the nurses who barged in on such a rude time. "Um, do you mind giving us a few more moments?" he asked. The nurse smiled.

"Sure," she replied and exited the room. Harry turned back to Draco for one last kiss. One last taste of those pale lips, one more stroke of that soft platinum blonde hair, one last journey to the place he had never been before. Draco granted Harry's wish.

"You have to go now. The nurse is waiting," Draco said.

"I don't want to leave," Harry replied.

"You have to. People are expecting you downstairs. Besides, the nurse is waiting."

"Right.... I'll be right back after dinner. You are not going to die," Harry declared as he started to walk away.

"Harry..." Draco whispered. Harry went to Draco's side. "Know that I love you, alright?"

"Alright. Know that I love you... as well," Harry replied. Draco smiled as he lied back down in the bed. The nurse went in and greeted Draco. But as Harry stepped out of the doors, he went off to the side and opened the note, eager to know what Draco wrote down. He was still smiling from the passionate kiss they had just shared. But when Harry opened that note, his smile turned upside down and he covered his mouth to keep himself from crying out loud. Tears streamed down his face as he read the following words:

To the one possessor of my heart,

If you got this note, that means there's nothing in my heart except love for you. But there are a few things I have to tell you. I told you of my past and about the rose that you hold in your very hands. It is my heart, be careful, for my last moments are with you.

Firstly, I saw this coming. I saw Death coming. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I saw it in my dreams. Only reversed. I thought you were going to die, and God knows I would have given anything to keep that from happening... even if that meant my own life... and it looks like He heard me. But know that I love you and nothing is going to change that. I have so for many tormenting weeks. Every time I looked at your eyes, oh, you did not understand what fire you bestowed upon my heart. Words cannot describe what feeling you gave me.

All I needed was you before I went. All I needed was to hold you in my arms, feel your raven-black hair, and have one last sweet taste from your lips. Let me say that even as I lie here, all I can think about is you, and how you're going to feel as soon as you read this... After you have reached to this heartbreaking part, I am sorry. I have died. I told you I was going to, but that damned hope of yours keeps telling you lies. I gave you this so you would not have to watch me pass. God knows you have already seen too much death. You did not need mine with your others. Know that I will always be with you and I love you so much. Always know that and remember. Thank you for being there when I needed you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for loving. Thank you for not leaving me alone in my last moments. Thank you for my very first and last kiss. My only wish was to hear you say 'I love you' one more time. But, at least I died with a clear mind, as you admitted your love, too. I did not die in vain. Thank you.

Truly yours forever and until death, I will be waiting for you

Draco Malfoy

"GET THE HEELER!! WE'RE LOOSING HIM!!" the nurse shouted out the door. He collapsed on the floor as his legs went numb and his body started to shake.

Draco...no...he can't be. Never. I...can't. I won't. He repeated these thoughts like a mantra, to keep himself from falling into that black abyss that would steal his soul. The Heelers will be out any moment. They will say he's alive. They will say that he's going to recover. But the black hole of doubt kept getting bigger in his mind, swirling like a whirlwind swallowing anything that the light possessed. It started to sweep up Harry's hope as well.

Harry waited for long moments outside sitting on the ground, listening through the thick walls for anything. All he heard was chaos and disarray. Finally, he heard silence. It was a long, formidable silence that filled the air with melancholy. Finally, the Heelers, one by one, like a funeral procession, came out of the room. They looked to each other, and then at Harry. The others gave a nod to one of them, which approached Harry.

"Kid," an American Heeler spoke. He took a deep sigh and looked away. He could not bear to see the innocent be broken by this. "We did all we could, but-"

"He's dead," Harry said flatly.

"I'm sorry," the American continued. "Do you have someone you can talk to?" Harry did not hear the American's last statement. His ears were buzzing with demons flying around him, convincing him it was his fault.

He did not want to hear the rest. He got up and walked. He did not care which direction he was going. He did not care where he was going. He just did not need to be surrounded by Death at the moment, with the devils picking at his heart, tearing it slowly to pieces, letting it bleed black cut by cut, stab by stab. This endless pestering would not stop. When he finally reached outside, he fell to his knees and started to weep.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!? WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?! I LOST MY PARENTS, SIRIUS, NOW DRACO!! WHAT THE FUCK ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE FROM ME?! TAKE MY OWN LIFE!! WHAT THE FUCK IS IT GOING TO MATTER TO YOU?!" He shouted out, angrily to the heavens. All they did was show the moon which shone the light on the stars to play. He hated the stars. He hated the moon, all of them for being so happy. If he could, he would have rip the moon to pieces, throw the stars down the garbage, and scream at the darkness left over. When the sun come up, he would scream at that too, and douse water on it until the sun's warm flares were extinguished, so it would feel the loneliness and pain he was feeling, the pain of the soul dying inside.

As Harry sat against the grand castle wall staring at the cosmos, all he could think about was Draco and the giant piece of his heart he took with him. All he could think about was this being his fault. He continued to cry until he cried himself to sleep that night, wishing with all his heart that he too would die and join Draco. All he wanted was to be with the silver-eyed blonde who stole his heart. That's all he wished for. That's all he hoped for. But sadly, all he got was pain, the pain of a dying soul, the pain of a broken heart, the pain of an everlasting knife in his heart.