Until Death

Until Death

Part Eight

Harry woke up in the middle of the night, being held in Draco's arms. Oh God...what have I put myself into? Oh, but he's so warm and his touch is so soft...I dare not let go. Harry looked up at the fair-haired blonde, fast asleep, with water still present on his eyelids. Harry smudged them off carefully. He then rubbed his fingers with the water present together and enclosed his fist as he closed his eyes and held it close to his face. God, what is going on with me? I...I can't love him. I can't. Why is this so confusing? Why is this so hard? He got up and walked around the room then looked out the window. A strong burst of moonlight had shown itself through the trees. The one light that was present in this dark forest and Harry was oddly attracted to it. He wanted to go outside and walk around. He hadn't seen the Death Eaters around for two days. Where they could be now was beyond him, so he thought it would be safe to walk outside... just for a few moments. Draco would be safe without him. He needed to think about Draco, why this was happening, why he kissed him. Why did he even think about kissing him? He needed to think without the pallid blonde interrupting his chain of thought. Every time he looked at him, he stopped thinking completely, his breath was taken from him. It was a sensation of like he was stealing him, piece by piece. Oh, he could hardly resist looking at him.

Harry opened the door to the outside, as he stepped out; he took one last glance at the blonde sleeping peacefully. He saw the ragged blanket that he made and put it to cover Draco and keep him from the cold. He had been through enough of the world's coldness of society and had been hurt already by the snaps and whips of his father's ice-jagged reign. He then stepped out, think about Draco and what had happened merely hours ago.

What is this fascination with him? Why did I even kiss him? He is the enemy. But if he is the enemy, then why do I have feelings for him? No, they aren't JUST feelings. These... are indescribable. Is it even possible to classify what I am feeling for him? It's... Harry struggled with what he was feeling for Draco, the tall, fair one with so much pain, so much hurt from his past. He cared for Draco. He knew that. Unbelievably. He sat in the cold white powder on the ground, not caring what he was feeling physically. He wanted Draco there, to be there for him to soothe him, like he did when he was pain. I want him here. I want him by me. Always. I know... it's just... I... Harry groaned and gritted his teeth. But I don't belong here with him. Love and Draco cannot be possible. Love... Draco... oh those eyes and those soft lips... have they ever been stained before? This just kept getting harder and harder by the moment. Every question he had, made things more complicated. He grabbed at his face, wanting to rip his hair out. Why was this so hard?

But, he did feel something in that kiss. He felt the sun smile on the other side of the earth, he felt a spark that lit up his soul, and he felt the shadows being knocked away from him as Draco touched his soul. He lit it to a blue burning flame that would not die. No matter what was doused on the fire, it refused to go out. It would not let go of something so precious, so rare, so warming. Harry had experiences far beyond anyone's imagination... Draco had experienced things that made his blood chill, his heart freeze, his mind turn black. Harry shivered not from the snow, but from the sight of Draco's scar he had seen earlier, the mark of his lament, his suffering, his servitude.

He threw himself on his back in the snow and saw through a little clearing of the branches saw the night sky, all the stars dancing their ballet in front of the dark curtains. They put on a show for Harry to watch and take his mind off of the matter which was stressing him so. Then he looked to the eyes of the moon for advice on this matter. The moon only put on the spotlight for the stars and ignored Harry's plea. Harry watched the stars playfully and gracefully danced as one threw itself in front of the others and disappeared without applause. Harry closed his eyes to the sonnet of the wind and wished upon seeing the star. He thought about what he could wish for. Then Draco came to his mind. Seeing the blonde in his thoughts did not disturb him. It did not make him jump. He merely...smiled. He smiled as he saw Draco did in his mind. But how can it be? How can it happen? I care for him- deeply, truly, madly even if I am lost for words. But...what if I love him? What if I do love him?............. Oh... my... God.... Harry's eyes almost fell out of his head as he realized the unimaginable. His heart leapt several feet. His hand shook as he realized what he never thought could ever happen... he loved Draco. No...no- I- I can't. I can't! It's not possible. It won't be accepted. It wouldn't be right...

But what is right? Not having what you want most? Denying yourself that you actually deserve something besides all the shit that you get in life? One has to wonder why we deny ourselves of something that we deserve, that we want, what we long for in life. Why do we think No, we can't have it? Because we fear of the others, what other people will think, and what the future holds for us. Some are happy but most are jealous and will sooner ignore us and leave us because of their jealousy. That is why we fear, that is why we deny, that is why we are human.

But as Harry noted his revelation, he saw a silvery figure out of the corner of his eye. He looked and saw the ghost of Draco's mother. She was dressed in a tattered cloak with the hood above her head, but Harry could clearly see her face. He was startled and got up to run away, for fear of her wrath. But the ghost merely put a hand to stop him. Harry looked confused at the ghost and it looked back at him and saw fear in her eyes. "What is wrong?" he said steadily.

"I know that you and my son have been lost here for the past few days," it said to Harry in a French accent. Harry looked to her with intrigue.

"That's right," Harry replied.

"I know. I have been protecting you two the past few days," she stopped to collect her thoughts and continued to look Harry straight in the eye. Harry did not look away from here empty silver eyes as she floated there, talking to him. "I have been haunting these woods for many years, wailing for my son, for he is not going to live very long." Harry's face contorted into worry as he heard this.

"What? Why?" Harry hurriedly asked. The ghost looked away from Harry's eyes as she read what feelings he had for Draco.

"The Death Eaters are coming to my cabin shortly. They are not far away. They will burn the house, thinking you are there because of the footsteps you left walking out the door." Harry's eyes widened with shock as he realized he forgot to brush up the footsteps after he left. He was so overwhelmed by the new feelings he had for Draco, he completely forgot.

"Oh God no," Harry said.

"They want you dead, but instead they will kill him and not you. You must return back or my son will surely die. As much as I hate Lucius for being so harsh on Draco-"

"How did you know?!" Harry asked.

"Harry, listen to me. You must turn back now! I know you love him and I do not want him to miss such a great treasure as yourself. He has had too much pain already. I have had to sit by these many years and watch him suffer. There is nothing I can do. If I was to do anything, I would only see both of you die. You must go now. Save him and yourself, for if you stay here any longer, you will die as well." Harry did not wait another second to start running back to the cabin. As he looked back to see if Draco's mother was still there, her silvery figure swirled with the wind and turned into fog as it shrouded the forest, making sure the Death Eaters far behind him did not see him running. Oh God keep him safe. Keep him safe until I get there. Don't let him die. Please don't let him die... for me. Please don't let me see another death as long as I live.

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Harry raced back to the cabin as fast as his legs could run. He kept thinking about what he had done, wanting to kick himself for putting Draco in so much danger. But as he reached the cabin, it was too late. The cabin was already covered in the fiery wrath of the Death Eaters. All Harry could think about was Draco at that moment, his life, the promise he made to his mother. Harry decided that standing around would not do anything to save his new love. He put the collar of his robes past his nose and dodged inside the fiery Hell that was engulfing his love. He felt the heat all around him as it tried to take a hold of him and burn him. The flames kept trying to bite him, but he would jump before they got a taste. He finally saw Draco on the floor, surrounded by the demons of the fire. He immediately saved him from the ravaging of the demons on his delicate flesh. He picked him up and ran back outside. Harry set Draco in the snow and listened for his breath. It was there but it was very faint.

His once pale face was covered in the blackness the flames deposited on his face and parts of the cloth on his badly wounded hand were blackened by the flames. "Don't you dare die on me, Draco. You can't," Harry cried. He needed to find a way out of the forest and fast before the Death Eaters got both of them. Harry threw Draco over his shoulders and started to walk. His only strength was the new love he had for Draco. He had nothing else to motivate him except to get Draco to a Heeler. "Don't you dare die on me Draco. Don't you dare," was all Harry said throughout the night to the half-dead Draco he held on his back. He looked to the heavens and prayed aloud: "I know You don't like him, but please let him live. Let him live for me. For my sake. If You don't, then take my life instead. Leave him be. Let him live. Please let him live."

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It was morning when Harry could not carry on any further. His eye lids were closing as he walked, and his legs trembled from hunger. He set Draco on the ground and yet again made sure he was breathing. It was again very faint. Harry took some of the snow and ate it. It was better than eating twigs. But as Harry ate Draco coughed awfully. It was a vicious cough that was deep in his lungs and he breathed the cold air. Harry rushed to Draco's side as he coughed. "Draco!" he shouted. Draco did not reply. Harry checked his breathing. It was still faint but at least he was getting oxygen. "You're going to be fine. I know you are," Harry said to Draco, but mostly to himself, to ensure him and to void the voice that was nagging at his mind. He swept back the once blonde hair behind his ears. After sitting for a while, Harry put Draco back on his shoulders and continued on through the dense forest.

Draco kept coughing that awful cough. Too much smoke got in his lungs. Oh God he's going to die because of me! No. No he's not. Don't think that way. He's going to live. He's going to live. Harry couldn't help but half-listen to the voice irritating his mind about Draco. Maybe it was his fault. Maybe Draco's death would be placed upon him. No it's not. Don't think that. Don't you dare think that! He looked at the ground for any trails left by anything human. He never saw a thing as they wondered through it. He was beginning to loose hope as he kept walking in circles throughout the forest.

Finally after walking for many hours, the cold got to Harry's lungs and he collapsed to the ground, Draco falling too. Harry was coughing madly as the cold continued to bite his lungs. He crawled over to Draco and put his arms around him, to keep his pale body from getting colder than it already was. Harry shivered as he held Draco fast, for fear that Death would come to him in the moment he let him go. But as he tried to get off of the ground, he legs would give way and he would fall right back down into the white powder under his feat. He only had the strength to drag Draco to a nearby tree along with himself where the sun was shining its warm rays of light. It felt good to have the warmth for once in the duration he had been there. The sun kissed his face warmly and shone its hospitality onto them. After a while of only sitting, Harry began to close his eyes, exhausted, starving, and hopeless of anything. The cold had gotten to him. He tried to keep them open, only to see if the Death Eaters were coming. But once he closed his eyes, they would not open again for a long while.