Until Death

Until Death

Part Seven

"Are you done with that thing yet?" Harry asked Draco as he continued to fiddle with the blanket after a long time of silence between them in the dark.

"I could be...." Draco said as he continued to twist, bend, straighten, tugged, knotted, ECT. at the blanket. "But then again I could not be...."

"What is that suppose to mean?" Harry asked Draco. Draco looked up from his blanket and only beamed at Harry. "Tell me!"

"No," Draco said, tantalizing Harry with his bedazzling smile. Harry shook his head out of his thoughts. "Alright, now it's finished. Voila!" He held it up to Harry. It looked just about the same as it did before. All matted and holey... but Harry just smiled and nodded. "You like?"

"Oh yeah," Harry said, trying his best to act like it was pretty good. Suddenly though, Draco's eyes stared out the window. He did not blink. In fact, he crawled closer to the window, eyes wide with fear and disbelief. "Malfoy...is something the matter?" Draco did not answer. He continued to crawl closer to the window and ignore the world around him. "Malfoy?"

"Oh my God," Malfoy finally mustered up to say, as his nose was pressed against the glass of the window.

"What? What is it?" Harry got up and walked over to where Malfoy was sitting. Harry gasped. He could not believe what he saw. He thought he would never see her again.

"That's... that's my... my... oh my God," Draco gasped. His eyes were filling up with tears as the one stood in front if him, looking with sadness at the ground, like Harry saw three nights ago. "Mother...." Draco whispered, as if it was an unspeakable curse to say. He put his hand up to the window as if trying to communicate with the one he lost long ago. The ghost again shed the grey tears that Harry saw that night, as they formed a pool around her feet. Harry looked over to Draco, whose tears were streaming steadily down his face. "Mother," he muttered again. Then the ghost spoke thus:

"Ne laissez pas la fleur noire mourir. Gardez-la coffre-fort, loin du monstre i une fois appelé le mon amour." She then started to float away into the darkness. Draco stood up and yelled for his mother like a lost toddler.

"MOTHER!! NO!! DON'T GO!! COME BACK!! PLEASE!! COME BACK!! MOTHER!! No... mother. Don't go. Don't leave me. No. Please come back. Please...." Draco then fell to the floor, covered in his tears. "Mother..." he cried. "Was that the ghost you were talking about?" Draco asked through his tears, staring after the ghost, his hand still on the window. You don't need to see me like this...so ashamed and vulnerable...and hurt.

"Yes," Harry replied steadily, seeing Draco in pain. Draco turned himself to the wall and put his back to it. His tears continued to fall.

"Why?! Why, why, why, why?!?!" Draco thought aloud. He covered his face in his hands and continued to sob.

"Uh, Malfoy?" Harry said.

"What do you want?" Draco retorted cruelly as he removed his hands from his face. His face was red and his eyes were puffy. Draco wanted nothing more than to slam his head into the floor, to stop the misery.

"I don't want anything. I was going to say something," Harry said compassionately.

"Then say it now, or shut up!" Harry was not taken aback by Draco's cruelty.

"I would give anything to see even the ghosts of my parents. And as to the reason why you didn't go out there was because of the Death Eaters, and even if you made the slightest movement to go out there, I would have thrown you to the ground and kept you there."

"Ha-ha. I would have loved to see you try. I would have thrown you off like a springboard," Draco replied. Draco was getting Harry angrier and angrier at Draco. He was getting harder and harder to work with. His scar started to burn with the heated anger being hidden inside his mind. Finally, he lost all control of his anger as it unleashed itself through Harry.

"Why do you want to be to bloody critical?!" Harry yelled as his scar split open with anger, gushing out all the rage he was holding inside him. But now, his blind fury clouded his mind of words. "The least you can damn well do is tell me what the hell is in that mind of yours and stop baiting me with your useless blabbering about nothing! You see these 'haunting' visions and memories and never say a thing! God damnit, Draco!! Why the hell don't you want to tell me about these things?! I bloody accepted your apology!! Now it's time we be honest with each other!!"

"You want fucking honesty?!" Draco shouted. "Then I will fucking give you honesty!! Ever since I was born, my father would never acknowledge that he even had the slightest care for me! My mother was the only one who even expressed a shred of concern! Ever since she left me alone, my father has done nothing but drill things into my head about family honor and prestige among the pure-bloods. I hate him so much, and in such a thing, I happened to have lost my childhood because of that grotesque man that I once called 'father' who would not even act like he was my father. He told me that the things that the other children did would end them in failure and shame in their families' name. My father also told me that if I were to ever destroy the family name in any way, he would not accept it and punish me dearly.

"I did not believe that until one day I met a mud-blood girl a few years ago during the summer. She was smart, beautiful, talented, it thought very highly of her. Ha-ha, I'm much surprised it lasted longer than it did. My 'father' caught wind of it, and you want to know what happened next?" Draco stood up and wheeled around. He took of his robes and lifted up the back of his shirt, revealing his pale back and a gigantic scar that ranged from his left shoulder down to the right side of his waist. Harry gasped.

"He... your father... did that... to you?" Harry asked and pointed a shaky finger towards Draco's scar. Draco pulled down his shirt and put back on his robes.

"Oh, yes!" Draco replied, anger still flashing like lightening in his eyes. "As soon as I came home from visiting her, he was waiting for me at the door. He said, 'Draco Malfoy... I am very disappointed in you.' When I asked what I did, he said that he had been asking around and one person told him about me and the girl. He said some awful things that weren't true about her. I got so angry that I shouted curses back at his face. My father then... well... do I need to spell it out for you?" Harry shook his head. "And that's where I got this one," Draco said as he pointed to his back.

"You have... more than one? From your f-father?" Harry asked shakily.

"Oh hell yes," Draco replied. He paused. "If my father were to die right now, I would go to his funeral and say to him, 'Damn you.' If he was on his deathbed, I'd go to him and say, 'Go to hell, for that's the only place for your black heart.'"

"Isn't that a little harsh?" Harry asked. Draco's silver eyes flamed like a furnace with anger as he directed them towards Harry.

"Harsh?! Did you see the scar on my back?! Harsh! Hell, look what he did to me! I couldn't give a bloody shit less about what happens to him! Do you want to see anymore of my scars to further prove it to you?" Draco questioned furiously.

"I'd rather not. I was just asking-"

"Never ask that again. I told you the answer. Let me make this as monosyllabic as possible, for your simple mind: Kith and kin don't hurt their own flesh and blood. That's not what family is. Even if there was such a thing, it has abandoned me. It has left me out here in the darkening cold world alone for many years. Since I was eight, I have been on my own. No one was out to look after me at that age. I had to be on my own!" Draco pounded his unhurt fist into the ground, slightly bruising it. He flexed his hand, feeling only little pain compared to his other hand. "I thought only I was the one who cared about me and no one else ever would. It's probably better that way, too. So nobody else gets hurt..."

"What do you mean?"

"I've already told you too much. You don't need to know that either," Draco said with a bite of sternness in it. Harry looked to Draco and softened his eyes and softened his heart... more than it already was.

"If it's any consolation to you," Harry began, as he took his glasses off to clean them with his robes, hoping that Draco wouldn't kill him. Draco looked over to Harry and saw the green fire that had enraptured him the first time he got a chance to look at them. "I lost my parents, too, but I never got to know them. I have to live the rest of my life questioning what they were like and try to move on."

"It's not like I already haven't heard it a million times, Potter. You lost your parents. I know. Who doesn't? I lost one, as she was my only chance for salvation. She was murdered by one of Voldemort's Death Eaters as a punishment to Lucius. She died when she was about twenty-seven or eight. Lucius never told me why they killed her; he only said that he was being punished when I was little.

"From that day forward, my father was even stricter on his code and principles. He told me to not screw anything up for him and it slowly chipped at my soul.' Draco said, as he looked at the ground and frowned. He sighed and continued. "My mother was French before she met Lucius. She was born and grew up in Paris before she went to his school. Lucius and my mother 'fell' in love and got married right after they got out of school. Then all things went for the worse when I was born. I heard my father when I was very young that having me was a mistake. God, I felt so ashamed of myself and Lucius. 'Mistake? Me?' I thought. 'How is that possible?' My mother thought totally different though. She protected me whether I was there or not from the monster that I had to spend three months out of the year with him in that giant manor.

"As soon as my mother passed away, my barrier went down. He saw this and his eyes turned red when he looked at me. I don't know if he looked at me with disgust, pity, or just hatred all in all. Trying to live up to his expectations slowly wore me down and broke me. When someone is hurt and people know it, it hurts. But it hurts even more when they do know it and don't do anything to help out...." He sighed. "That's why I'm better off alone." His eyes started to become glassy as he tilted his head back to look at the darkness above him. Even if there was maybe only a shred of moonlight shining in, Harry could see his pain. He saw it in his eyes, his face, and his entire body. Harry slowly pushed himself towards Draco. He just wanted to be a little closer to Draco, to comfort him.

HARRY!! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE DOING?!

Yes.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COULD DO TO YOURSELF?!

Yes.

THEN WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING THIS?!

Because it's worth it.

IT'S WORTH IT?! WHATS WORTH IT?! THIS?! HE'S MALFOY!!

I understand his pain. He's had it very rough.

WELL THANKS TO HIM SO HAVE YOU!!

Not as bad....

JUST AS BAD!!

You just can't accept this, can you?

It's not that I can't accept it; it's just that I WON'T accept it!

You better get used to it then.

Why?

Because...

No.... YOU DON'T!

"Draco... if you don't mind... I understand how you feel," Harry said compassionately. He pushed himself closer to Draco. Draco's heart pounded in his chest as though he was running a steam engine with it.

"You... you do?" Draco asked in total surprise. Wait...this seems awfully familiar.... THE DREAM! No. It's impossible. They're just dreams...only dreams... No. "How? Why?"

"Your pain has been beyond measurement, both physically and emotionally." I must be doffed if I plan to do this.

"Alright, now you're just talking madness. Nobody could ever understand what I go through," Draco tried to convince himself. "It's too perfect...." he whispered to himself.

"I'm not talking madness, Draco." Harry pushed himself so close to Draco there were merely inches in between them. He then grasped Draco's head and looked into the eyes he feared the most to look into. When Harry touched Draco's face, he felt like nothing he had ever experienced before. It made him want to be closer to Harry. It moved his soul into oblivion. He wanted to return the favor so much. He wanted Harry to know just how much he loved him. Every touch he made every look he made him feel like flying and taking Harry with him somewhere in the sky, where he could not loose this feeling of bliss and ecstasy with him. He wanted Harry with him every step he made, be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. "Now listen. I think you are very courageous to have last the years you have with that man. Oh, now. Don't you start crying again," Harry said. "I don't want to see those eyes of yours be clouded up by tears. That's no way to live."

"There is still a lot you have to understand," Draco said as he looked into the green fire that made him float on air.

"We have time," Harry explained. None of them knew what made them do it, what compelled them to act upon each other. Perhaps it was Draco's vulnerability. Perhaps it was Harry's willingness to open up to Draco. But they kissed as they sat in that shack with the moldy smell of mildew upon the air of the shack, but as their lips touched, they had a spark of red fire that lit up their faces. As they backed away from each other, they did not want to admit it, but they both felt the world stop turning, everything came together, the forest sang the sweet song of the night. Draco stared dumbfounded with the red passion on love firing in his eyes. Harry had found something in his heart that he never thought possible. He had found love in one of his enemies, of all things. Yet, sharing that with someone who he thought was so dishonest and adulterated, such a thing seemed so innocent. Like the innocence of words spoken in a childhood rhyme. Harry could not understand what had gotten into him at that moment, and could not stand to look at Draco, for fear of embarrassment of his prior action. Draco wanted to feel the sweet lips of the one he loved once more, but he refused to take another taste. "I- I'm tired," Harry stammered. "I... I'm going to... sleep. I'll... talk to you later...I guess."

Why do you fear what you desire the most, Harry? "If you must," Draco replied sullenly. Harry disappeared from Draco's side and got into the corner he was used to sleeping in. The forest sang now a morose song of fear and death, pain and resentment. Draco listened to the winter wind, beating solidly on the treetops above, as some of the twigs fell to the roof with little crashes. As they crashed, the provided the beat for the song, the wind sang the melody, and the rustling of the branches gave the harmony. Draco listened to the forest song, trying to receive its message. Nothing came to him as he sat there, pondering what Harry's actions meant. After he heard Harry's soft chattering of his teeth from the whispering cold, Draco went to him and held him in his arms. Harry turned to the source of warmth that was given to him. Draco let a tear drop from his eyes as it froze when it hit the ground. When he looked at the tear, it looked like a drop of silver had dropped from his eyes. He felt the tears as the streamed down his face and into his hands. They still felt cold, not warm like they should be. But as he continued, the tears turned warmer and into a state of purity. They were no longer clouded and cold. They were warm and clear. He could see his hand through the drops he caught in his hand, something that had never happened before. He fell asleep, with Harry in his arms, holding him fast, never wanting to let him go. Everything, was at that moment, in harmony with one another.