Numb as a Broken Soul

Numb as a Broken Soul

I walk through the only halls of my yesterday, remembering all the things that used to be me. My friends weep as I stand over their shoulders. I wish I could touch them, comfort them, but all I feel is the wind passing through my body. I wish I could speak to them, but sadly all that comes is the cold air that gives them chills. I wish I could wipe away their tears, but all I can do is watch them suffer.

I remember, dying with a bloody halo around my head, watching my life pass through my eyes. I remember them and the good times. They were a part of me. I was apart of them. They still weep as I lean over them, unforgetting of the one who stole my life.

My friends are no longer sane. The pain has taken control of their souls. Insanity runs through their veins, and I can do nothing but watch as they wither away. I wish there was something I could do heel their wounds, the wounds of their hearts which bleed black with the hurt, sorrow, and anger that overwhelms them.

Her eyes remain red and puffed. His hands remain above his eyes. I cannot bear to watch them cry with the pain that overflows their souls

I wonder how my love is doing. He is no better than the rest of them. In the depths of night, he looks out the window and cries over my passing. But, as I watch him and my friends cry, they unite for the first time. I watch them make truces to one another, swearing to not hurt one another, in honor of my life. If I was still human, I would cry from them. I would cry for their proud actions to each other. I try to run to them, but as I feel a chilling air pass through me, I remember what I am, what I had become.

I finally know what it means to feel numb. I look in a mirror and see nothing. I touch my face in hopes of feeling something humane, seeing something of my former life. I see, feel, hear, smell, even taste nothing. Nothing at all... being so numb... so numb to everything. I look at my hands and see only the transparency that is presented to me. I wish I would not have to see them suffer. If there was only a sign I could give them to tell them that I am there, watching them, to tell them not to be sorry for me. God, I can't stand to watch them cry any longer.

I see nobody waving at me as I enter the Grand Hall. Nobody greets me as I stand there, plain as a black rose on white snow. But, the houses no longer exist as I stand there. I see my love trying to eat with my friends, my friends trying to appease the ragings of his soul. Others sitting with one another, comforting, touching, feeling. What I would give for one more chance to feel again, to be not so numb, transparent, imaginary.

I never knew so many people would miss me. I thought as I lied there dying, only a few would see me as dead. Much more than few did see. I walked to the table where my love and my friends were sitting. The red-haired girl who I loved a year before looked to her brother for support and turned to my love for an embrace. I never thought I would see this, whether it be in my life or after. I wanted to cry, but remembering that my tears had disappeared, my thin hands curled under. Not having the ability to express emotions makes one feel more lifeless.

But now, I have to depart. I embrace my love one last time before I go. He shivers and looks behind him, feeling someone near him. I look right at him, but he sees nothing of me. He looks right through me and at the other table. But then, a realization occurs in him and he starts to cry with what his eyes are worth. The red-haired girl embraces him, as I embrace her. She receives the same feeling. I feel nothing of the feelings I'm transferring over to them. I have not an idea what is making them have such emotion. I then embrace the red-haired boy, who I loved so much like my own brother, and my sister with the curly brown hair. They played more of a role in my life than anything, I will remember as I watch from the heavens, making sure they pass through life fine without me there. But at least the Dark One was dead and sentenced to eternity in Hell.

A bright light calls to me in the Grand Hall. As I go to it, my glasses are taken off as I see what is ahead of me. Wings are placed on my back and I am doused in white. The light calls to me again. I obey its command without a thought more. I look back on my friends and love. I fly away, as they know that I will wait for them outside the golden gates.