Memories

Chapter 3

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More Memories

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Harry stood in the corner of a little office. He saw the young Sirius Black standing in front of his desk in the middle of room. Sirius was just going through some papers on his desk when there was a knock on his door.

"Come in," he said absent-mindedly. "The door is open."

The young Auror heard the door opening and looked up to the in-comer. His eyes widened in shock when he saw his guest. Harry was just as surprised.

It was James Potter, right. Sirius's best friend. But his face was white as snow and his lips were trembling, like he was just about to start crying on any moment.

"What now, James?" Sirius asked, looking alarmed. "What's wrong?"

James just stared at first. Then he said, with very quiet voice, "Sirius... I'm so sorry..."

Sirius stared at his best friend, shocked. "James?" he asked. "What has happened? Is it - oh, Merlin, tell me it's not Remus, not him and the baby, anything but that..."

"Oh, Sirius... I'm so sorry..." James repeated, and there were huge tears pouring out from his hazel eyes, running down his cheeks. He mumbled something that Harry didn't quite hear, but Sirius seemed to hear very well. All colour ran off from his face, and he stared blankly at his best friend.

Harry understood him. Although he hadn't heard nearly anything out of his father's muttering, he was able to catch some single words. Those words were, "Remus... miscarriage... St. Mungo's."

When James had finished his explanation, Sirius only stared in front of him for a moment. Then, very slowly, he turned around and walked towards his boss's office. Harry followed him, walking like an invisible ghost next to the memory of his father. It felt more than weird.

Sirius knocked on the door and yanked it open without waiting for a reply. "Mr. Thompson, I must leave right now. My husband - he's in a hospital -"

Mt. Thompson nodded understandingly. "Go right now," he commanded. "No reasons to lose any time. May I ask what's wrong with Remus?"

But Sirius was already gone and wasn't there to reply his question. James was, though. He looked at the man and told, "Remus has just miscarried."

The old Auror's eyes widened. Then he nodded firmly. "Go with him, Mr. Potter," he advised then. "They'll both very likely need just as much help as you can support them with."

James turned around without saying a word, then started to run to get outside of the inner Ministry's Non-Apparating Wards.

And suddenly, Harry was inside another memory.

*******

Harry was in a hospital room. Everything was clean and white. The only real furniture in the room was a large bed in the middle of the room and a single chair next to it. On the chair was sitting Sirius, looking grave serious. Remus was laying in the bed, looking very pale and sick.

Harry felt very bad for them both. He understood very well why Remus had felt bad for showing him these memories. He felt like he'd cry on any moment, so bad he was feeling for his new guardians.

Remus took the hand Sirius was offering him and squeezed it tightly. Looking miserable, his lips trembling, he whispered, "Sirius... I've lost our baby." Then he bursted into tears, unable to say anything else.

Sirius enveloped him in a comforting embrace. "Calm down, sweetheart," he murmured, tears forming up in his own eyes as well. "Calm down, Remus. Don't worry about that. Just rest now, love."

"But... but it was my fault," Remus stammered between sobs. "If I... If I only had been more careful... we could still have her."

Sirius crumbled his eyebrows. "Don't say that!" he commanded, embracing him even warmer and tighter than before. "It definitely wasn't your fault, Remus. It was anything but your fault." Then he continued, with a much softer tone, "It was no one's fault, love. No one could have prevented it. We knew the risks, didn't we?"

"That's my point!" the werewolf cried out. "I knew the risks! I knew I should have been careful! But I wasn't, and now... I've lost her..." Then he started to cry even more than before.

"Shut up, Remus!" Sirius exclaimed. "Don't you dare to blame yourself!" He kissed the other man gently on the forehead. Then he added, taking a more tender and comforting tone, "Try to get it in your head, Remus, my love. It wasn't your fault. You're the one here who has been hurt the most. No one is going to blame you, sweetheart."

"But I will blame myself," Remus mumbled. "I can never forgive myself for not being more careful, Sirius. Never."

"Don't speak like that, love," Sirius advised. "You couldn't have prevented it." Then he sighed deeply. "Let's discuss this everything later, okay? Now get some rest. You need it."

"Okay."

On the same moment as Remus said the last word, Harry felt the world waving around him again.

****

Sirius was there waiting for him when he stepped out from the memory. His adopted father looked sad, and his eyes were locked on the ground.

"You're back, I see," he said, not looking at Harry.

"Yes, I am," Harry said, closing his eyes in confusion. "I - I am so sorry for you both, Sirius. Nobody deserves anything like that. Especially not you."

"Thank you, Harry. We've been over it for ages, but still... It hurts." Then Sirius managed a little, shaky smile. "Harry... I know you want to ask something. So, go ahead."

"Why didn't you show me this until now?" Harry asked, his eyes still closed. He tried to sort out his thoughts. "Or why not later? Why did you show it to me at all? There are no real reasons for me to know that!"

Sirius smiled slightly. Then he said with an oddly gentle tone, "Harry... Remus didn't transform the last full moon. Nor did he on the two full moons before that."

Harry's eyes snapped wide open. "You... Are you saying that..." A little, stupid smile began to play in the corners of his mouth.

"I think he is," said Remus from the doorway. He walked inside the room and slipped his hand into Sirius's armpit. "I'm pregnant once again, Harry. The baby is due around Christmas."

"Wonderful!" Harry exclaimed.

"We thought so also," Sirius smiled. "It is indeed wonderful." He snaked an arm around Remus's waist and kissed his husband's cheek. "Just like you are," he said to the werewolf with a mischievous grin.

"Brat," Remus murmured, blushing, and slapped Sirius playfully over the neck. Then, however, he returned the kiss, a happy smile on his face.

And, watching them, Harry knew that they were just creating happy memories.

---The End---