To the Heaven

***

To The Heaven

*

"I'm going to the Hell."

"No, you aren't," Remus said, as calmly as he only could. He glanced around in the little cave, trying to find something that might be of use.

Unsurprisingly, he found nothing. Of course. They had already spent a whole day and night in this bloody cave. Of course there was going to be nothing useful around.

"Yes, I am," the other man continued determinedly. "I'm a Death Eater. I'm a sadistic bastard, ask anyone. There's no other place to me but Hell."

"You're maybe a Death Eater, but you're also a spy," Remus reminded him, forcing his voice to stay even. "And you're not sadistic, nor are you a bastard. You're a hero, Severus. You know that."

"Oh, really." Severus's voice was mocking. "Oh, yes. I'm flying to the Heaven now. The hell I am," he snorted. "Even if I somehow by mistake got there, Black would kick me back down where I belong. Bloody Gryffindor hero."

"Why, thank you," he said, although they both knew very well that Severus hadn't meant him but Sirius. "And you're not going to go to Heaven, either. You're going to stay here."

"Very well." Severus tried to sneer, but then coughed forcefully. As he took the hand from his mouth, Remus saw the little droplets of blood on his palm.

Remus's heart twisted in his chest. Severus was dying, and no amount of denying it would help. They were trapped here, in a cave somewhere, without wands or any other equipment. And Severus was seriously injured; he had internal wounds and injuries enough to knock down anything but a rhinoceros or a Snape.

He had talked a lot. Severus had just listened, concentrating on him. They both knew that he had to talk, had to do something that Severus could focus on, had to do something to prevent him slipping from the life.At some point, Severus had asked if he believed in Heaven. He had replied truthfully, "Yes." Severus had said that he believed, too, but that he believed he was going to the Hell.

Since then, they hadn't spoken much anything else. Only Severus claiming his belonging to the Hell, and Remus trying to make him believe the opposite.

Remus sat down next to him. There was no point hovering around. He'd only tire himself. Besides, Severus needed his help. There was still hope, maybe only a little, but hope, that Severus might make it. That the help would come at time.

He started speaking again, telling about random things he had read or heard or seen, telling about Tonks and Kingsley and Sirius and it all. And Severus listened, listened eagerly, like he were sucking every word from Remus and using it to strengthen himself. And Remus let him, knowing that he had to do it.

At some point, he began unconsciously petting Severus's hair. Neither of them noticed, or at least neither of them made any attempts to stop it.

"Lupin."

Remus's eyes snapped at him. "Yes?" he asked softly.

"If I'm indeed going to die now, I want you to know something." A cough, then another. More droplets of blood on the pale, delicate hand. Then, slowly, "I... I love you, Lupin."

Remus just stared at him.

"I know... that it sounds bizarre," Severus said, then stopped as another coughing fit hit him. As he had got over it, he continued, "But it is true. I love you." He looked at Remus, black eyes searching for response, whatever but something.

And Remus replied. He leaned his head forward, his lips brushing gently against Severus's, hardly even a kiss at all but enough to tell his feelings.

When he pulled back, he saw Severus staring at him. There was disbelief in those black eyes, disbelief and desperate hope. The eyes were asking, asking something that he knew already.

"I love you, too, Severus," he said softly. "I've done for quite some time."

"Oh," Severus said, then smiled lopsidedly. "My, my, isn't this just my luck. The man I love loves me back, and I'm going to the Hell without time to enjoy the fact."

"You're not going to the Hell, Severus," Remus said determinedly. "You're too good to be there. You belong to the Heaven."

"No, I don't," the Slytherin said stubbornly. "You do, though. All Gryffindors are destined to the Heaven before their birth - excluding Pettigrew, that is." He coughed a couple of times, then continued, "But I, as well as the other Slytherins, am going to the Hell. Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, they are those who have the choice. They're between. We're destined to one fate."

"Rubbish," Remus snorted. "You don't really believe in that, do you?" He wiped a lock of ink-black hair off the face, where it had been glued on by a thin layer of cold sweat.

"Why wouldn't I?" Severus asked back. "As far as I've seen, all the Gryffindors, minus that little excuse of a human, are heroes and oh-so-good, their halos nearly blinding us worse. And, to majority of the Wizarding World, Slytherin is equal to evil."

"But that isn't true," Remus reminded him gently. "To the majority of the Wizarding World, werewolves are also equal to evil. So, wherever you're going to, I will go as well."

Severus smirked. He tried to raise a suspicious eyebrow but failed, due to his tiredness. For a long while, neither of them said anything.

Remus could see how Severus slid further away. No amount of talking would help him now. There was nothing he could do, nothing but sit next to Severus, and pet his hair and wait with him, wait for the death or the saviours.

As Severus grew weaker, he became more and more concerned. As the Slytherin coughed yet again, shaking after the effort, he wordlessly gathered him in his arms, lulling him in his lap like a little baby. And Severus said nothing, just watched him, the deep, dark eyes never leaving his face.

Suddenly, something broke the silence.

"Remus," Severus whispered, and at that second the werewolf knew that he was fighting a lost fight, that he couldn't win Severus back to the life. "Remus," he said again slowly, then took a shaky breath, and continued, "Just need to say... Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Severus," he whispered softly. He felt a couple of tears rolling down his cheeks, but he didn't care. He couldn't stop them, not anymore.

"Don't cry," Severus replied hoarsely. "I'm safe now, Remus. I feel so warm..." His eyes slid off the focus, then snapped back at him. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"For what?"

"For loving me." Then he closed his eyes, a small smile curling the corners of his lips.

Then, just as Remus was sure he had been lost, his eyes opened again, a bright smile lighting up his sharp features.

"It's warm and light," he said, not a trace of cough or tiredness in his voice. "I feel so safe and loved, Remus. It feels so good - so right..."

Then he closed his eyes again, and spoke no more. The delighted smile on his face didn't fade, however.

And, on a stormy night in the end of the Second War, lieing on the arms of his just-found lover, Severus Snape went to the Heaven.