Happy Christmas, Family Malfoy

Happy Christmas, Family Malfoy

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Chapter 8

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"So Severus is a Weasley from his mother's side," Remus concluded. "Oh, well. I have heard speculations about the fertility charm, curse, whatever in the Weasley line -- there is one, that much is clear. I'd assume that what you were told was quite accurate. However, I do know for a fact that the Weasley trait also protects both the baby and the carrier -- but only when there are no other curses involved." Sighing, the werewolf ran a hand through his hair. "In Severus' case, there's also the Snape curse. Therefore, I sadly can't say anything certain about him." With a quiet voice, he added, "I'm sorry, Lucius."

'I'm sorry, Lucius.' Those words had been going around in his mind for the last hour and a half -- the exact time Remus had now spent treating his husband. The shock of seeing Caroline's actions had almost caused Severus to miscarry; he'd been under great stress even otherwise, and this had been just too much on him. What Remus now had to do was to prevent that "almost" from disappearing from the sentence.

Or, rather, like he had worriedly informed Lucius about an hour earlier, to prevent the loss of his unborn triplets from turning into the loss of both the triplets and his husband.

The blond sighed, running a hand through his long tresses. It was just so unfair. Why was Severus always so vulnerable during his pregnancies? Why did he have to worry about possibly losing his spouse whenever his husband was startled? In Wizarding pregnancies, any complications were rare. Lucius, however, knew very well that the only things making a difference between him and a widower were some unknown deity's grace and Remus' expertice, so many times he had come close to losing Severus.

Molly had by now collected her children and Sirius had taken the Malfoy offsprings to look after, knowing that Lucius didn't need the stress of taking care of them at the moment. Some may handle worry by throwing themselves in chores and routines, but Lucius most certainly wasn't one of those people. He had to brood and think; having something else to do usually made him feel just worse because he constantly felt the need to concentrate on his worry and pain, growing anxious if he was unable to do so. Sirius knew this from the experience of years of friendship and too many similar situations, and acted accordingly.

Therefore, Lord Malfoy was now alone, free to concentrate on the constant ache in his heart.

He had many times been close to losing Severus due to complications during pregnancy, yes. This time, however, he couldn't help but feel that the situation worse than ever -- if that was even possible. The worst times had always been when Severus had been with twins; with triplets, it could only be even worse. Every moment that passed by without the all too familiar sight of a tired but relieved Remus coming to inform him about Severus' condition turning steady made his fears grow even more vicious.

Closing his eyes, Lucius bit his lip. He could not imagine his life without Severus by his side. Taking care of all their children was one thing, that he could do, even though it would be difficult. However, the mere task of living on without his husband's presence seemed like an inhuman effort he was simply incapable of. Severus just couldn't die; if he did, Lucius wouldn't know what to do.

He did try to imagine a lonely life, though -- well, as lonely as life could be with ten children of his own running around all the time. Waking up in a bed where the only other presence was the occasional child curled up to him. Sitting in a breakfast table with nobody opposite to him. Falling asleep in a complete silence only broken by the sound of his own breathing. Sending their children to Hogwarts, one by one, until one day he would be alone left standing on the platform when the train left for the school...

A strangled sob escaped his lips. That simply could not be. He could not live without Severus. Couldn't, and wouldn't. He wouldn't allow Severus to die. Remus had to make Severus all right... Remus, or whatever other creature was playing cruel games with his life.

Lucius had never been a very religious person. Wizards seldom were; most of them merely acknowledged the existence of some higher being, not paying it another thought. Living in a world of wonder and magic, they all had to admit that something greater than just humans did exist, but what that something was remained unclear. Most referred to it by the names of great wizards long gone, relying on Merlin's grace and swearing by his name. To say that they regarded Merlin or anybody else as a deity was, however, definitely untrue; every wizard knew that even Merlin had got his own powers from someone or something above him. However, that higher power had no name, no priests, no rituals or words to pray with. Therefore, they preferred to stick to the old ways, using the only names of power they knew of.

Now Lucius cursed the old Wizarding ways, frustrated to know that he had nobody who to plead for his husband's life. When he'd been younger, he had greatly wondered why most Muggles deemed it necessary or at least helpful to pray; now he understood that view very well. The feeling of helplessness that now engulfed him, the knowledge that he could not do a single thing to help the one he loved more than anything, was unbearable. If he'd had somebody to direct his prayers for he would have at least had the feeling that he'd done something to aid Severus... and, if anything went wrong, somebody to blame in addition to himself. With no name and no words, he could only hope for the best.

Finally he could not bear the uncertainty any longer. The Muggle view of religion perhaps did not appeal to him, but at least Muggles had the words to pray with. Therefore, he started to mouth the words that to his children were a mere familiar lullaby, never a prayer or a true plea for something.

"Ave Maria, gratia plena," he whispered brokenly, trying his best to concentrate on the words instead of the pain in his chest. A Muggle saint was no more holy to him than a Muggle god, but to him the contents of the prayer were now irrelevant, the action of praying being the only important thing.

"...Domine tecum..." whispered the thin lips, while his mind pleaded, 'Let Severus live. Please. I don't care about anything else, if you just let him live.' His words and thoughts alike were directed at something above, somebody, anybody, who would listen to them.

"...Benedicta tu in mulieribus..." The tightly closed eyes were now opened as the blond casted a desperate glance towards the ceiling. Somebody had better be there, listening to him.

"...Benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus..." Now, another tear rolled down the pale cheek. Being from an ancient and very traditional Pureblood family, Lucius was well educated in Latin even beyond the incantations familiar to every wizard. He knew exactly what the words of the prayer meant, and suddenly they became painful reminders. Trying to forget the form of the prayer, he tried to concentrate on what he meant by it. 'Let Severus live. Just let him live to see another day, and another, and another.'

"...Santa Maria, Mater Dei..." The words rolled from his mouth as easily as they did every night when he put his children to sleep, singing to the youngest ones until they gave up their struggle. Now, however, they did not echo through the corridors along with a soothing melody; they were whispered to no other living being's ears, full of desperation and hope that somebody or something actually listened.

"...Ora pro nobis peccatoribus..." 'Let somebody pray for me, for I do not know how to,' Lucius sighed inwardly. 'Let somebody pray for Severus, somebody with words and faith.'

"...Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae." He had to force himself to get the last words out, a tear after another flowing from his eyes. The moment of their death, indeed. 'Let that not come to Severus now,' he thought desperately, telling himself to just forget the actual words and instead remember what he was trying to say with them. 'Not now, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I couldn't bear it if he died. ...Please.'

Pleading was very unusual to the proud man. Now that he thought about it, however, he knew that he had pleaded before, many times. Whenever he had been left unaware of his dear husband's fate, he had pleaded and even prayed, perhaps not by words but always in his heart. This was just the first time he had truly acknowledged those pleas, the first time he actually thought of them as a prayer.

Biting his lip, Lucius leant back, resting his head against the back of the chair. Now there was absolutely nothing left for him to do... except pray again.

After some time, he did not know how long, the door he was watching anxiously was finally pushed open. As he saw Remus' familiar expression Lucius was filled with relief. Severus was going to be okay, he knew that even before the werewolf opened his mouth and told him so.

"Thank God," muttered Lucius, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh of relief. Somehow, giving his thanks to Merlin like usual seemed now inappropriate. After all, it most certainly hadn't been Merlin he had pleaded for in his desperation. It maybe had been Remus whose work had helped his husband, but it was not the werewolf's work alone; if it had been, there would have never been any doubt. Something else had lent its power in healing his husband, and considering that he had prayed to it, naming it as God seemed as good an option as anything else. Merlin it most certainly was not; the man was long dead and had no power in the affairs of the living. Merlin's magic made no difference between Severus' life or death.

Remus gave him a strange gaze. Then, however, he sighed. "Like I said, Severus' condition is steady right now," he said. "However, although I managed to get him through it, there's no guarantee that he will stay to be well. Already this pregnancy is stressing his body more than any of the previous ones."

"But what can we do?" asked Lucius desperately. "There must be something we can do!" 'Abortion,' a traitorous voice in the back of his mind whispered. 'Kill the babies, and Severus will be safe.'

Very slowly, Remus nodded. "There is indeed something we can do to save both Severus and the babies," he said, and suddenly Lucius felt a new surge of hope. "Since if this pregnancy goes on, we will most certainly lose either the babies, him, or all of them. The thing we can do has seldom been tried before, and it's not without its own risks... but, given Severus' Weasley blessing, I do think it might work."

"Then what is it?" asked the blond, eager to hear the solution. "Whatever it is, if it can save Severus and the triplets, I accept it. Anything, anything at all."

"Wait at least until you hear what I have to say," the werewolf said, chuckling a bit at his eagerness despite the seriousness of the situation. "And besides, we have to talk with Sirius first..."