For Our Parents Willed So

For Our Parents Willed So

*

Confessions

*

"Potter?" asked an all too familiar voice as soon as James opened his eyes.

"Yes, Snape?" he asked, yawning slightly.

"What happened last night?"

James stopped in the middle of pulling off his pyjama shirt. Then, forcing himself to relax, he replied, "Nothing that I'd noticed."

He got time until he'd just pulled on his school robes. Somebody grasped his arm and turned him around.

"So nothing happened, eh?" the Slytherin demanded.

"Nothing," verified James, trying to keep his voice calm.

Snape looked him right in the eye. Something flashed in those black eyes, and somehow, although he didn't know how, James realized that Snape knew what had happened.

"So I turned into a five years old kid," the Slytherin said quietly. "Typical. That's what I usually do." Now avoiding James's eyes, he asked, "What did I do?"

"Not much," James replied. "We talked a lot, and then you went to sleep. I gave you Mr. Snuffles and went to sleep myself." Snape's expression told that he did not buy the whole story, but he didn't care. Besides, he had to know. "How did you do that?"

"How did I do what?" asked Snape back, although he knew very well what James meant. "Please, describe yourself better, my dearest fiancé."

"I mean, how did you know what happened?" demanded James. "Did you see in my mind?"

"Yes, I did," replied the other boy levelly, thus shocking him worse than he could have in any other way.

"But, how? You didn't use Legilimency, did you?" James'd sometimes heard of something like that from his parents, but he'd also heard that it was only something the greatest wizards could manage.

So, he was in for another shock as Snape replied, "As a matter of fact, I did. I am able to use Legilimency, although I'm much more skilled in Occlumency. And as to your obvious next question, well, I've had a lot of training." His expression turned momentarily sad as he added, "My father is a Legilimens... I've had to learn to hide my thoughts. Even more I wanted to learn when I came to Hogwarts. Headmaster Dumbledore is a magnificent Legilimens, and I thought that if he found out how my Mum died, my father would kill me, too." He snorted, then continued, "Nowadays, I know it's not possible. It's not like Dumbledore would do anything to help anyone but his precious Gryffindors."

James felt a stab in his heart. That was true, in a way. They'd many times gotten away with things that members of some other House would have got big punishments from. And all because Dumbledore had a soft spot for Gryffindors, and seemingly especially the Marauders.

"What happened to you?" he asked to hide his own uneasiness.

"What do you mean?" Snape asked back.

"Your eyes, and nose. Your five years old self had blue eyes and a straight nose. You have black eyes, and a hooked nose. What happened to cause that?"

"You don't want to know," the Slytherin said gloomily.

"Yes, I do want to know."

"Fine." His black eyes locked somewhere behind James, Snape said, "My father did it. My nose, well, it was rather simple. When I was seven, he banged my head at a wall because I'd said that I didn't want to marry you. He said I'd marry you or die." Ignoring James's shocked expression, he went on, "He told everyone that I'd fallen down a flight of stairs and broken my nose that way. I didn't dare to argue. About my eyes, well, I'd just turned nine when I was brewing a potion. My father came in and purposefully splashed the potion all over me because I hadn't behaved well enough by his mind. The potion burned my eyes, changing their colour and taking away most of my sight."

"How well do you see, then?" asked James, horrified at what he'd heard.

"I'm almost blind. If something's near me, I hardly see it at all," Snape replied coolly. "I bet you have a perfect sight compared to me. Fortunately for me, I've found a charm with which I can read books with my finger tips. And when the teachers write on the blackboard, well, I manage to see just enough to take notes, even though it hurts my eyes. Nobody's noticed it, and I'm determined to keep it that way, too."

Suddenly, James realized a whole lot of things. Like how Snape never seemed to look him right in the eye, but slightly aside. How Snape always walked near the wall in the corridor, often even tracing his hand on it. How the Slytherin often collided with people - he wasn't in his thoughts, he simply didn't see them. Trying to hide his own astonishment, James asked, "How can you do spells, then?"

"I can't, that's just the point," smirked Snape. "Ever wondered why I'm so bad in the practical parts of lessons? Duelling I can do, as I can aim at the sound of the other, and Transfiguration is fine as long as the object doesn't move - and I don't have to see what it becomes. But anything I should see to aim at it, sorry, no such luck. In Potions, I can use my other senses - I bet I could recognize any usual Potions ingredient by its scent only."

Another thing came to James's mind. "Every time I throw Mr. Snuffles at you, you catch it with seemingly no difficulty. How do you do that?"

"Easy. Haven't you ever noticed that it has a tiny bell on its necklace? The noise helps me to locate it. I usually see a black heap in your hands when you're on your own bed, but when it's too near me, I can only hear it."

"You have to get your sight fixed," demanded James. "You cannot live your whole life like that!"

"And tell how I injured my eyes, and why I didn't tell anybody earlier?" snorted the Slytherin. "Oh, yes. How clever indeed. My father would pop my eyes with needles after that - if he was on a forgiving mood. What he most likely would not be."

"Do you seriously think anybody'd let him get to you after that?" asked James.

"Do you seriously think anybody'd prevent him?" asked Snape with just the same tones he'd used. "There's only my word against his, Potter. It happened bloody seven years ago. I have no way to prove that he did it, and I just didn't mess the potion myself."

"Then we have to fake a new accident in the Potions class. Say that you injured your eyes, and we'll take you to Madam Pomfrey. She'll surely do everything that can be done to restore your sight."

"Fake an accident?" echoed Snape disbelievingly. "You can't be serious! How can you know that it won't really injure someone?"

"Calm down, Snape," said James with a roll of his eyes. "I've faked enough accidents this far to know that nobody'll get a scratch on their skin. All you need to do is to stand near enough, and then act as well as you can."

"So this is the reason behind all those explosions you and your friends have caused during all these years?" asked the Slytherin with a raised eyebrow. "You faked those all to get out of the lesson?"

"Why, of course, Snape," smirked James. "Do you seriously think that if we were truly that incompetent we could have got so good grades in our Potions OWLS? Shit, Remus and Sirius both got an 'O', and I and Peter got an 'E'."

"Figures," muttered Snape. "You have talents, and use them to cause mayhem. So like you."

"Like us what?" asked the other boy. "Like us Gryffindors, or Marauders?"

"No," Snape replied. "Like you idiots."

"Very funny, Snape," snorted James. "Anyway, you don't have to fake seeing, at least not to me. I won't make fun of you."

"Oh, really."

"No, I won't. Really. I promise."

Snape didn't even glance at him, and James figured that it wouldn't have meant anything anyway even if he did. But, after a moment, he heard the quiet response, "Be that way then, Potter."

"Oh, I do believe I will."

"...But I'm not going to participate in your ridiculous accident plans."

"That we'll see, Snape."