Didn't Make the Same Mistake

Didn't Make the Same Mistake

*

It was a quiet night in the middle of winter.

Sirius Black felt, for even his own surprise, warm and comfortable.

He was sitting in his kitchen, drinking coffee. There was a fire in the fireplace, and everything was peaceful and quiet.

The tall man glanced at his clock. He was happy to see so many hands there. The one with his name, shiny and golden, was on "happily at home", as well as Remus’s simple wooden hand. One of the hands, silver and snake-shaped, was on "slightly nervous", but then again, it wasn’t anything new to him. There were also three other hands, two very close to each other and one so tiny that it was hard to see the name in it. All those three were on "completely safe".

Sirius blinked. Had one of the three hands stirred?

Now he saw it better. One of the clock hands of Potter family was moving. Then another, and now the tiny one joined its parent hands. They all were moving, slowly but surely, to another point.

"In a mortal peril".

And then, suddenly, they jumped right onto it, so quickly that Sirius had never seen anything like that before. He stared at them, swallowing hard. He was unable to move.

Then, just as suddenly, the hands moved again. The tiny one ran to the "alive", filling his heart with relief.

The two larger hands, however, dropped down to "dead".

*****

Sirius squeezed his wand tightly in his hand. He had just Apparated to his destination, and he was walking towards a small house.

He was prepared to kill.

Sirius was just going to kick the door open, when it was opened from the inside. On the doorstep stood a man, a little bit shorter than he, light brown hair in a mess. He was staring at Sirius, his skin as white as snow on the ground.

"Sirius," Remus said, "don’t."

"Don’t what?" he asked fiercely.

"Don’t hurt him, Sirius. I love him - you know that."

"Get out of my way, Remus," Sirius hissed. "You’re my best friend and I love you dearly. But let me now kill that bastard. I don’t want to hurt you!"

Remus only stood there, his eyes flashing with both fury and fear. "So you’d make my baby an orphan?" he asked icily.

Sirius stared at him in shock. "W-what did you say?" he asked.

"You heard just right, Sirius. I’m with a baby." Remus opened his cloak, uncovering a huge, round stomach. "You won’t kill anyone tonight, Sirius."

"I will." His voice wasn’t as fierce as before, but he was still certain about what he had come to do.

He was going to kill the man who had betrayed his two friends to Voldemort.

He was going to kill Severus Snape.

"No, you won’t." Remus didn’t move a centimetre. "He didn’t betray them, Sirius. He wasn’t the secret keeper."

"Of course he was!" Sirius screamed in anger. "We all knew he was! And he betrayed them! They’re... they’re dead..." His voice faded off. He squeezed his wand tighter, preparing to curse Remus on any moment if he wasn’t going to step out from the way. No matter if he was pregnant or not.

"So you’re going to let this happen again, Sirius?" Remus asked with a sad tone.

Sirius flew his eyes up to meet the amber orbs. In those eyes wasn’t anger anymore. Only sorrow, deep and lasting sorrow.

Sorrow for James and Lily.

Sirius bit his lip. "He did it," he said, but he wasn’t certain anymore. "No one else could... He betrayed them..."

"I didn’t," said somebody behind Remus. Snape. He stood there, tall and pale, looking very sad. "It still is my fault. I told them to switch the secret keepers. And I chose wrong."

"I don’t believe you," Sirius said, pointing his wand at Snape.

"Maybe you don’t," Snape replied dryly. "But I didn’t make your mistake. We switched with witnesses present. Remus was there, and Granger girl and Dumbledore. I wasn’t their secret keeper, Black. But it was my fault."

Something broke inside Sirius. He collapsed down on the snowy ground, crying uncontrollably.

*****

Molly Weasley looked at her clock, her heart sinking down. On the same moment as the family Potter’s hands had moved, one of her family’s members had changed his position as well.

One of the hands was pointing at "escaping justice".

"Escaping justice". One of her sons was a traitor.

*****

Remus stared at his best friend. It wasn’t like Sirius to break down so completely. But, then again, he had just had the most horrible experience for the second time in his life.

His two friends, two people he was supposed to protect, had been betrayed and murdered.

"Get inside, love," Severus murmured in his ear. "You’ll catch cold. That wouldn’t be good for the baby."

"But... Sirius..." he tried to explain, but Severus’s long, gentle fingers covered his mouth.

"Don’t say anything," his lover advised. "I’ll take him inside, don’t worry. I don’t think he’s able to curse me at this moment."

Remus nodded for his response, unable to say anything. He closed his cloak to prevent the cold air from getting on his stomach. He wanted his child to stay healthy.

He went inside, but he didn’t close the door before Severus had managed to get Sirius inside. It wasn’t easy to get a crying, full-grown man up from the ground and inside the house, but Severus was far stronger than he looked like.

Somehow his lover managed to get Sirius sitting on an armchair in their tiny living room. Then Severus sat down on a couch next to him, his obsidian eyes locked on Sirius.

Remus looked at Sirius as well. He placed his hands on his stomach, and Severus wrapped his arms around his shoulders. They both waited until their surprise guest had calmed down.

At last Sirius stopped crying. "I - I am sorry," he sobbed. "I - I didn’t know -" His voice faded off, and he trembled. "I’m sorry," he repeated.

"I think you should be," Severus said dryly. "You were just doing exactly the same thing as the others did to you so long time ago."

"I couldn’t think clearly," Sirius muttered. "I was so shocked. Harry and - Harry and Draco - they’re..." He was clearly on the edge of tears again.

"Calm down, Sirius," Remus said, pity filling his voice. "Their baby survived, right? At least that’s what our clock showed to us."

"As did my clock." Sirius’s glance slided on his round stomach. "You’re really pregnant?" he asked carefully.

He nodded and smiled a bit. "I am, as you can easily see," he said, patting his stomach.

"How long time until the baby is due?" Sirius asked, curiousness turning on in him. Good. Maybe they would be able to get his thoughts off from the betrayal.

"He’s seven months along," Severus replied for him. Then he placed a little kiss on Remus’s temple, and Remus shivered. "He’s the most wonderful mother I’ve ever seen."

"I’m not a mother," Remus mumbled.

"What are you, then?" Severus asked, a little twinkle in his eyes. "I’m clearly the father. Are you some kind of a mother slash father, eh?"

"I think he’s a father as well," Sirius stated. "At least that’s how... Draco was called..." Then he broke down again.

Remus sighed deep. He was very near to tears himself. He felt Severus’s warm embrace around him and struggled against crying with all his power. The baby usually sensed his feelings and moved more when he was highly upset. He didn’t want to harm his child in any way, so he didn’t want to make him - or her, they hadn’t wanted to know the baby’s sex yet - upset as well.

That was how they went on through the dead hours of night - Sirius crying every now and then, Remus trying hard not to cry, and Severus highly controlled, trying to lead their conversation to other topics.

Then suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Remus jumped up and hurried towards the door. Severus was going to get up as well, but he made a little gesture, telling him to stay with Sirius.

His heart beat fast inside his chest. He knew who was on the door. He had been waiting for this, considering that he and Severus had been the baby’s godparents.

He was right. Behind the door stood professor Dumbledore, a little bundle of blankets in his lap. He looked startlingly old and tired, but he had the strength to smile slightly.

"Ah, Remus," he said. "I assume you know already."

"I know," Remus whispered hoarsely. "Harry and Draco - they are -" He couldn’t say the word. "I wouldn’t have expected this from him," he added bitterly.

"Neither would I," Dumbledore sighed. "None of us would." He gave the little baby to Remus. "Are you sure you can take care of her?" he asked carefully. "I happen to know that you’re just about to get some problems by yourself as well."

"We can," he said firmly in response, taking the baby on his arms. "She has to grow up in a family. I and Severus are the only family around, because we can’t really hand her over to Weasley’s. Unless you want her to grow up with Dursleys as well as Harry..."

"Never," Dumbledore replied, "they abused Harry, we all know that." He sighed and started to turn around. "Good luck, Remus. Remember that if you ever need help, we’re always there for you."

"Emm... Headmaster?" he called before the old wizard could Disapparate.

"Yes, Remus?" Dumbledore asked, glancing at him over his shoulder.

"What about... the Dark Lord?" he asked carefully.

"What do you think?" the Headmaster asked, smiling sadly. "He’s gone, Remus. For good this time - or at least that’s what we all hope." He turned around again. "Good luck with the Girl-Who-Lived," he said, and then he was away.

Remus stood on the doorstep for a long while. Then he noticed the cold chill that got through even his tight winter cloak. He returned inside, a little girl on his arms.

When he got back to the living room, both men stared at him. "Is that - is that what I think?" Sirius asked hoarsely.

"It is," he replied with a little nod. "Lily Jade Potter. Nowadays also known as the Girl-Who-Lived." He took a hem of the blanket off from the baby’s face. Then he sighed. "Complete with the scar and all." He turned her around so that the two other men could see it as well. In the middle of little Lily’s forehead was a clear, wavy snake, black like it was burned down on her skin.

*****

"What are you doing, Ginny?"

"Ripping these photos."

"Of your brother, right?"

"He’s not my brother anymore."

*****

"Hermione? Hermione, dear, what’s wrong?"

"He... he did it..."

"You don’t mean..."

"Yes, love, I do mean it. Ron... he betrayed them..."

"Oh, Hermione!"

"Please, Blaise... Hold me for a while. Nothing else. Just hold me now."

"Anything you want, love."

"I just want to... feel safe..."

*****

"Ouch!" Remus exclaimed, when a little girl ran right against his stomach. "Watch out, Lily!"

"Oh, I’m so sorry!" Lily said, her huge emerald eyes full of surprise and apology. "I didn’t mean it, Daddy! I didn’t hurt the baby, did I?"

"No, I don’t think so," he said, already softening his tone. "But you need to be more careful, okay?"

"Okay! Can I go to Melissa tomorrow?"

"I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t." He watched happily as his adopted daughter skipped joyfully away, already looking forward to seeing her friend.

"She’s cute, isn’t she?" said a voice right into his ear.

"Ah!" He startled when strong arms wrapped around him. "You scared me."

"Sorry, honey." Severus kissed him on the cheek. "But she is cute, right?"

"Of course she is." Remus grinned. "Emerald eyes and nearly silver hair. Your Slytherin heart should be full of joy to see her."

"It is," Severus laughed, "but not because of her appearance."

"Because of what, then?" Remus asked teasingly.

"Because I love her, and I’m proud of her, of course," Severus replied calmly. "Can you understand that it’s already been six years since she came here?"

Remus shook his head, laughing. "It feels like an eternity," he joked. Then he just leaned in his husband’s embrace. "I’m so tired, Sev," he sighed, placing his hands on his round belly.

"And I’m so proud of you," Severus said, hugging him tighter. "I’m glad you accepted having another baby. If he’s going to be anything like Dracia, I’ll be delighted."

"I’m glad, too," Remus smiled. He remembered his first pregnancy and shook his head. Every possible problem and complication had happened. The transformations had been so hard, and all the mediwitches had told him that the baby would most likely be deformed or born dead. They had three times been sure he’d lost the baby, and she had nearly been born two months too early. When she at last had been born and had turned out to be a perfectly happy, healthy and beautiful baby, Remus had felt like he had been given the whole world on a silver plate.

"Dad! Father!" they heard Lily shouting again. "Can we go with Uncle Padfoot for an ice cream?"

"If he wants to take you," Remus replied immediately. He smiled and shook his head when he saw them coming. Lily was skipping around Sirius, and he was carrying Dracia in his lap, talking to the girls. On his other arm he had Theresa, his own daughter, who was the youngest of the three and spent most of her time pulling her father’s hair.

"You’d make a perfect father, Black," Severus teased, "if you hadn’t slipped into the part of a big brother."

Sirius grinned rather sheepishly. When his short-time lover Bill Weasley had died, leaving him alone with a newborn girl, he had turned to them. In no time at all he and Theresa had both become parts of their family, and Sirius really was like an uncle or a really big brother not only to Lily and Dracia but even to his own daughter.

"Severus," Remus sighed. "Try to be serious at least for a moment, okay?" Then he turned towards Sirius and smiled. "If you’d take them outside the house for a while, it would be great help," he said. "The baby’s been kicking for the whole day now, and I need some rest."

"No problem," Sirius said and grinned. "I’ll get them back for the dinner."

Remus and Severus looked at him and the girls when they walked away from them. For a moment everything felt suddenly quite warm and comfortable

In their kitchen clock, all six hands showed "happily at home".