Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast

*

The Monster's Madness

*

Sirius was the last of the Marauders to come to the Great Hall for breakfast. One glance told him that he couldn't go anywhere near his friends. James and Peter sat on both sides of Remus, whose bruise had been hidden with charms, both eyeing him hatefully as he walked towards the Gryffindor table. Remus gave him a sad glance, then turned around and didn't look into his direction. With a sad sigh, Sirius sat on an empty seat on the other end of the table, carefully avoiding looking into his friends' direction. He didn't want to see the hatred in James's and Peter's eyes, and especially he didn't want to see the disappointment, sorrow, and fear he knew he'd find in Remus's expression.

How he could have done that? Why on Earth had he attacked Remus, the most precious thing in his life, the one person he loved more than anything? He couldn't answer these questions, the questions on his (seemingly former) friends' lips, in Remus's pained eyes, in his own, grieving soul. Maybe he had gone crazy? But then he wouldn't remember what he'd done - would he? And did he? At any rate, his memories of the events were hazy and unclear. Maybe he truly was becoming insane.

Despite wanting to just flee and forget it all, Sirius forced himself to face his memories. He had to know what had made him attack Remus, so he could make sure he'd never do it again.

S~S~S~S

Sirius's head was aching. It had been ever since the dinner, a dull, continuous ache that wouldn't go away. He'd considered even visiting Madam Pomfrey, but then figured that it would eventually go away. It still lingered, making him almost unable to think.

Doing homework was even more painful than usually, and not even only in the figurative sense. It was almost impossible to concentrate properly on anything, and he was easily irritated and snappy. Once he'd even snapped at Remus, an occurrence he usually avoided carefully. Not wanting to hurt his boyfriend, or, even worse, make him angry, Sirius swiftly avoided Remus in all occasions that evening. Of course, he'd tried to make it look like he wasn't avoiding him at all, but didn't know whether he succeeded. Probably not; nobody read actions and feelings better than Remus. Well, hopefully he then knew that it wasn't because of him that Sirius fled from his company, but because of the Animagus himself.

That night, Remus sneaked into Sirius's bed after James and Peter had fallen asleep. The werewolf just watched him for a moment, then sighed softly and sat down next to him. "Why're you trying to avoid me?" he asked quietly. "Have I done something to make you angry?"

"Of course not," Sirius said sighing. The headache only got worse, but he struggled to keep it under control. "I've just got a headache, I wanted to keep myself from snapping at you for nothing."

They talked for some time. Rather soon, however, they found themselves in actions very different from just talking.

Remus moaned quietly, allowing Sirius to place a couple of light kisses on his neck. Then, the Animagus sucked greedily on the delicious, pale neck, and Remus snuggled up to him. By some sudden whim Sirius let his fingers travel into an unfamiliar territory, tugging at the waistband of Remus's trousers and trying to snake further down. However, Remus would seemingly not have that, as he snatched Sirius's wrist and pulled the hand away. "No, Sirius," he said quietly.

"Why not?" asked Sirius. Deep in his mind, he knew the reason, but the headache made him unable to think properly or catch the reason. All he understood was that Remus didn't want him, and that hurt him. "Don't you love me enough?"

"Of course I love you," Remus replied with a soft tone. "But werewolves mate for life, Sirius. The first time I sleep with somebody, I'll mark them, and that's all I'll ever know about love. I just can't -"

Anger rose from seemingly nowhere, covering all other feelings in Sirius's mind. He grasped Remus's wrists, only half conscious of doing that. "Have you already marked somebody?" he asked sharply. If that had happened - if somebody else had got what should have been his - he would do whatever he needed to set things right.

The headache was becoming unbearable. It was now hard to even realize that Remus was speaking again, sounding shocked."Sirius, I -"

No. No, he wouldn't hear that. He didn't want to hear what he thought was coming, and yet he asked, "Have you slept with somebody else? Is that why you can't sleep with me?"

"No!" Remus exclaimed, sounding really shocked now. "Sirius, I swear I've never slept with anybody! I'm just not ready for that yet."

"Too bad for you, then," Sirius growled. He didn't know why he said those words. Or had he said anything? He couldn't tell for sure, his head was aching so badly it was hard to tell whether he even existed, leave alone whether he'd spoken.

"Sirius," Remus said with a warning tone. Warning! What right he had to warn Sirius? It was he who should be ware! "Siri, don't -"

"I have waited long enough," Sirius interrupted the other boy. 'Waited for what?' he thought confusedly, but he couldn't concentrate on the thought for more than a second, not with his aching head. Soon enough, the thought fled from his mind. "I've been patient with you, Remus. I've waited until you'd be ready for it. I'm not going to wait anymore." Then he grasped Remus on the waist and shoved him onto the bed. Or was it Remus? Was it just some other body? He couldn't tell. It didn't look like Remus, but then again, his sight was swimming so much that he couldn't probably know even a snake from a skunk. No, it couldn't be Remus. Remus had gone somewhere, hadn't he? He hadn't wanted to do anything with Sirius, so he'd left.

And this other body... Well, it had come from somewhere, so it didn't matter if he held it on its place by wrists, right? It wasn't real. Or if it was, he most probably couldn't even know that.

"You're mine, Remus," Sirius mumbled. 'Why am I calling him Remus?' he thought briefly, but then gave up even trying to think. "You're mine, and mine alone." Again, somebody else seemed to be talking with his mouth. But who, and why? Or was it just him not knowing what he'd said or why, because of his headache? "No one will ever touch you," he whispered into the other body's ear. "No one but me."

The other body stiffened underneath him. Sirius's sight cleared enough to allow him to see a mouth right under his face. The mouth looked inviting. He leant even further down to press a firm kiss on those delicious-looking lips - almost like Remus's, but not as sweet. These lips tasted a bit salty for some reason. The body he was lying on was moving, almost as if trying to push him away. Well, surely that couldn't be true? He was just imagining it.

He tugged his tongue inside the mouth. However, then the body protested rather noticeably, as sharp teeth sank to his tongue, drawing a bit of blood and making the rusty taste of blood spread into his mouth.

Sirius cursed aloud. Merlin, it hurt. Whoever it was who'd bit him, the bastard was going to pay. Raising his hand, he slapped the face in front of him. With a quiet satisfaction he then watched as a dark bruise started to form on the pale cheek. "I'm going to take what's rightfully mine," he hissed, because it felt like the right thing to hiss. "And I'm going to take it now." Whispering a quick silencing spell - his head might be just about to explode, but he wasn't stupid enough to let anybody hear - he grasped the other boy's clothes and started to tear them away.

"No," somebody cried, "please, Sirius, don't do this - not this -" The voice sounded familiar, but Sirius couldn't tell who it was. Deciding that it was not worth struggling to remember with his aching head, he just kissed the inviting mouth in front of him with a force that surely bruised the lips. His hands wandered around the body beneath him. Whenever his fingers met clothes, he tore them away. There wasn't much he could think about, or remember, but he somehow knew that clothes weren't needed.

The body beneath him moved slightly, as if trying to push him away, but he ignored that. It didn't matter. All that mattered were the mouth he was kissing, the wrists he was holding - 'Do not let him escape,' he knew that, he shouldn't let go - and the odd, new feelings flowing all around his body. Suddenly, he realized that he had too many clothes on. Yanking his shirt away, he then concentrated on getting rid of his trousers. It felt like an unmanageable task, what with the devilish buttons and zippers and whatever - why he ever wore this complicated clothes? - but at last he managed to get it off. Then, flinging himself on top of the other body as he thought it was the right thing to do, he felt even more new, odd feelings going around his body. Feelings of pleasure, and rightness, a feeling wonderful enough to almost cover the pounding pain in his head. Wanting to make the pain go away, he grinded himself against the body underneath him.

What he next did, he couldn't really tell. It was like somebody else was controlling him, cutting off the connection between his mind and body. Well, Sirius didn't care. All he knew where the odd, new feelings flowing through his body - those, and the horrible, throbbing pain in his head. Somebody was screaming, but he didn't know who or why, so he chose to ignore that.

And then, suddenly, there was a new feeling. A sharp pain on the root of his neck, like somebody had bit down on him. And although it was indeed a bit painful, it was nothing compared to the pain in his head. All he knew was that this little pain made him feel warm.

Then the warmth grew suddenly stronger, and stronger, and he felt like he was going to explode with the pleasure and warmth. And then, the odd feelings went away, as well as the screams. He tried to kiss the mouth in front of him, but the mouth went away. He couldn't tell why, but he didn't particularly care.

"I love you," Sirius murmured, since it felt like the right thing to do. He didn't know who or what it was he was saying this to. It was like somebody else had put the words into his mouth. "And now you're mine. To the eternity you're mine."

Sirius felt tired. Really tired. His eyelids felt leaden. Unable to resist the temptation, he soon drifted into sleep, forgetting everything that had happened.

S~S~S~S

Sirius dropped his fork on his plate. For Merlin's sake, what had he done? And, even more importantly, why? Why he hadn't even realized that he was hurting somebody, that it was Remus he was hurting, that Remus didn't want him to do that? Had he - had he truly raped his boyfriend because of some form of a migraine?

Raising quickly from his seat, he left the Great Hall, even though he had only taken a couple of bites of his breakfast. He felt two hateful glares and one brief, sad glance on his back as he exited the Hall.

He did not, however, sense the cool, black-eyed gaze that was also watching him leave.