The Devil May Care

The Devil May Care

By Dimgwrthien

Shock filled the room for seconds until Remus heard the sound of chairs scraping across the floor. Harry was standing in his doorway, looking matter-of-factly at them, holding one handle from a trunk in his hand. He was smiling widely at them.

“How -?” Remus asked weakly. He was still feeling ill still from the night before, and he knew that he would collapse rather soon if more of those things kept happening.

“Harry?” came a hoarse voice from over his shoulder. He saw the front of Sirius’ face out of the corner of his eye. The gaunt face was wide-eyed with an open mouth.

Looking to Remus’ side, Harry stared at Sirius for a moment, matching his expression perfectly. Remus quickly moved out of the doorway, about to get the two inside, but then Sirius’ face broke into a wide smile, and Harry’s eyes stared looking rather wet.

Remus remained silent as the two were there, Harry’s arm around Sirius’ thin shoulders, taking in deep breaths and with his eyes squeezed shut. Sirius looked just as close to tears; his arms wrapped around Harry, almost crushing the child’s lungs, his smile wavering into tears.

Excusing himself, Remus went off to the table, leaning on it heavily for support. His mind reeled from everything that happened. When he turned back to the two reunited friends, he saw that Sirius was holding Harry by the shoulders, examining him. Harry had a keen expression on his face as though memorizing Sirius’ face.

“You look just like James,” Sirius whispered, smiling. Remus froze there, wondering what Harry would say. All three of them missed James and Lily, of course, but it was Harry who had gotten obsessive.

Harry said nothing however, but smiled back at Sirius. Then he turned to Remus and said, “Are you alright? You haven’t said anything.”

Remus just held up a hand and nodded. Sirius glanced over his shoulder, looking Remus up and down.

They two moved away from each other, walking back to Remus.

“I think this calls for tea and a talk,” Remus sighed, walking to the stove and taking out the kettle. He quickly heated the water, filling three mugs. It had been so long since he had been able to use three mugs at the same time. He smiled to himself and joined the other two, who basked in front of the inviting fire, legs stretched out. Remus was amazed that the two had not known each other for a lifetime. They acted so similar, and looked just as similar.

He handed the mugs over to them, kneeling down next to Sirius. Sirius sat up normally and wrapped his long fingers around the mug, placing his face over the steam, smiling.

“It’s freezing there,” he whispered, eyes closed.

“Azkaban?” Harry asked quietly. Sirius’ eyes snapped open and he gave Harry a quick glance.

“Yes,” Remus answered for him. Sirius turned back to the fire, a strange look in his eyes, though Remus hoped it was from the fire’s reflection in the gray orbs.

Harry started at Sirius, still, interest sparkling in his eyes. Sirius seemed to have noticed, for he wrapped a thin arm around Harry and pulled him closer.

When he sat there, looking indolent with Harry at his side, Sirius looked as he had years ago: young and confident, being himself as he spoke. Remus tried his best not to smile.

Harry murmured into Sirius’ chest, “You know the full story, too, don’t you?”

Sirius furrowed his brow, seeming to come out of his reverie. “What full story?” he asked, frowning.

“You know about my parents, too, like Remus does,” Harry explained, giving the same look to Sirius as he had given to Remus. “You were their friend.”

Sirius exchanged a look with Remus. Remus returned a small smile and touch of a nod.

“I did,” he said slowly. He smiled as though savoring the memories. “We were all close friends, as I know Remus had to of told you.”

Harry nodded. Sirius moved his arm slightly, inviting Remus closer to him, and, feeling as though he were a child rather than a grown man, Remus moved into Sirius’ arm, staying close to the warm body.

Soothing relief came over Remus’ aching body as he sat there, listening to Sirius talk about when they had been kids, all of their misadventures, while sipping at warm tea with Harry at the other side of his friend.

Sirius spoke sometimes as though he looked at Harry as if he were James, green eyes replaced with hazel, aged by twenty years. He left out gaping holes in the stories, as though expecting Harry to already know what happened. Remus filled them in quickly, as though reminding Sirius of whom he was talking to.

They never stirred until there was a knock at the door. Remus, rather curious, stood up and walked to the door, still holding his cup of tea in one hand.

For the second time that day, Danielle was standing behind the door, looking ragged with her green robes ripped slightly and tousled.

She fell into Remus’ arms at once, speaking so rapidly that Remus felt she was speaking another language. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and forcing the teacup from his hand, falling to the floor with a loud tinkling sound as the glass flew apart around their feet.

“What happened?” Remus asked, feeling afraid of what she would say.

“I’m sorry!” she yelped, eyes wide. “It’s just - we were all - well, it began - the truth is -”

“Take a deep breath,” Remus commanded, and Danielle nodding, sucking in a large gulp of air and letting it out slowly. “Now explain everything slowly.”

“Harry’ here, right?” She did not wait for an answer, but continued, “His family - the Dursleys - had come back in, you know, because they were still worrying about the Death Eaters. We had to place Memory Charms on them and everything, and then they had been released again. A letter was being sent to Dumbledore to tell him, but then we got the news that there was another attack.”

Remus knew that the worst had happened. His hands clenched convulsively at his sides.

Danielle buried her head in his chest. “It was by two people this time, by the sounds of it - Peter and Greyback.” Remus knew that he had to be shaking, for she looked up. “I thought he was dead, too,” Danielle choked, eyes red and teary. “And I’ve only heard of this Greyback. He sounds awful, though.”

“He is,” Remus whispered to himself, still trying to absorb the truth that sunk in too quickly.

“I’m sorry!” Danielle said again, biting her lip. Remus felt a hand on his shoulder and knew it was not Danielle’s. When he turned his head slightly, Sirius’ pale hand had him by the shoulder, tightly grabbing him.

“Another attack?” Sirius demanded of Danielle, who bobbed her head up and down. Her light hair was a mess and her lips looked chewed up from biting them. “By Pettigrew?” Danielle nodded again, making a faint whimpering noise.

Harry was next to Sirius, looking alarmed but trying to hide it. He gulped and opened his mouth slowly. “Does this mean I’m here until they’re well again?”

“That’s the thing,” Danielle whimpered. “They - they died.”

Sirius’ hand tightened on Remus’ shoulder as his free hand grabbed Harry.

“Dead?” Harry repeated hollowly. Remus glanced at him, still too shocked to speak. He knew that Harry hated the Dursleys, but the fact that they were dead had to have an effect on him. Sure enough, a deadened look caught in the boy’s gaze as he turned, sitting at the table, hands neatly crossed in his lap.

“Come in,” Sirius said softly to Danielle, who wiped her eyes with her torn sleeve and followed. Sirius had directed Remus to the table, hand still on his shoulder as he forced the brown haired friend into a chair.

“So I didn’t kill him?” Remus asked, voice hoarse and rough to his own ears. Sirius gave him a sharp and curious glance.

“No, I guess not,” Danielle said, crossing her arms on the table and resting her head on them. Her lips were wavering as she held back more tears. She took in another shuddering breath, tears falling freely from her blue eyes. “I’m so confused right now…”

Her shoulders shook now and her face rested in the crook of her arm. Remus awkwardly put a hand on her shoulder, gripping her tightly. Sirius watched Danielle with an almost angry look.

“You’re Truman, aren’t you?” he asked suddenly. She raised her head a bit and nodded, eyes a bright pink and face pale. “You loved… Peter, at school, I mean?” Again, she nodded. Remus saw Sirius tense slightly but ignored him.

“We have to find him,” Harry cut in suddenly, the silence draining from the room as he stood up his chair was pushed back along the floor. “We have to catch him - both of them, really.”

“No,” Remus said, glancing at Harry. Danielle moved her head slightly, still wiping tears from her eyes quietly. “Not now, Harry. What are you thinking?”

“Voldemort is evil,” Harry explained quickly, mouth moving rapidly as he fought his way from Sirius’ grip. “We have to get rid of him. To get rid of him, we have to get rid of everyone trying to bring him back.” His look was grim now, a look that should not have crossed the face of such a young child. “And it sounds like everyone is after me. I should be the one to get rid of them.”

“No,” Sirius said in the same tone that Remus had scolded Harry with. “You’re not going out there to do anything yet. Dumbledore should be able to handle this for now.”

“Am I too young to?” Harry asked, nose starting to wrinkle. “Tell me, is anyone else going to be able to do this?”

Sirius gave Remus a look, frowning. Remus closed his eyes for a second, still feeling a warm body under his hand. It was most likely true, he knew, and there was a chance that Dumbledore was right - it looked as though Voldemort could come back at any time.

‘But Harry’s too young…’

“This is confusing!” Danielle said loudly, suddenly, standing up so that Remus’ hand slid down her before he had the chance to move it. “Will anyone explain what the hell has been happening for the last twenty years?”

“Ask Dumbledore,” Sirius muttered sullenly, grimacing when he said the name. “He’s keeping something from us.”

“Snape,” Harry said suddenly, standing stock still, eyes wide and unfocused.

“What?” Sirius asked, turning to Harry.

The young boy was shaking very slightly now. “Dumbledore had to have known something! He never said anything when he knew Snape was the one who -” He broke off, glancing at Remus. Remus knew that he still had to look dreadful. His muscles still screamed in pain every time he moved quickly and his ribs still felt broken.

“Snape was part of it?” Sirius snapped, head directing itself to Remus, a confused look in his eyes, mixed with danger.

“Yes,” Remus muttered, biting his lip as he paused. “He was there.”

“He did this to you?” Danger filled Sirius’ voice and Remus knew that Snape, whoever he was, would be in trouble at some point.

“Yes,” Remus repeated, not meeting his eyes. He could still feel the boiling hate, palpable in the air around Sirius. Sirius placed a firm hand on his own hand, which stretched out over the table.

“I’m going to deal with him t some point,” Sirius said grimly.

Remus glanced up quickly. “No.”

“What?”

“Don’t.” Remus sighed and looked at his hand, where a scar brushed down from his wrist to his knuckles. “He had to have known. Otherwise -” He trailed off, staring at his hands, twisting them together and still biting his lip.

“No,” Sirius cut in. “He would have done something if he didn’t know.”

Harry frowned. “Forget arguing over whether he knew or not. Just ask him.”

Danielle took a step back from the table. “Should I leave?” she asked, though no one seemed to pay her any mind.

“He had to have known. He said it himself - he trusts Severus.” Remus glanced at Sirius, who was almost growling.

“Have you ever heard proof of that?”

“I know you hated him,” Remus sighed. “And I know you still do hate him, Sirius, but you shouldn’t base Dumbledore’s judgment like that. He had to have known, and that’s the end of it. He does not need to offer proof for every last thing he does.”

“Has he ever said anything on it?” Sirius hissed, slamming a fist on the table. Danielle grabbed Harry’s shoulders and pulled him back from the table, looking worried.

“Just let them fight it out,” she whispered in the boy’s ear. “It’ll be alright.”

“Do you trust him? He’s trusting Severus, so that should be enough,” Remus answered, fighting to keep his voice smooth, though anger was starting to weave into it. “You’ve been around him for years, that should be enough to trust him -”

“Did he ever make an effort to prove my innocence?” Sirius yelled back, face going slightly red and he seethed. Remus had never seen him so angry in his entire life. Fists clenched, Remus saw the hints of blood seep from his hands as his knuckled turned white.

“I thought you were guilty too!” Remus told Sirius, voice starting to rise. He felt hot in the face, too, and tried to force himself down, but part of him wanted to scream and yell.

Danielle tried to pull at Harry, but Harry remained there, watching the conversation.

Sirius was giving Remus a strange look, but still hollered back, “He was the only one who could have proved my innocence! But, no! He had to carry on and leave me in hell for years! You wouldn’t have lasted even a week in there! You have no clue what I had to put up with!”

Remus clenched his jaw shut, and felt his jaw disk pop and he yelled out, “You think you had it that bad? I was he one left here, along, thinking my best friend killed everyone I loved!”

“YOU WEREN’T THERE! YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I WENT THROUGH!”

“You have no clue what I went through!” Remus yelled back, voice now out of control. “I was left all alone, having to tear myself into pieces every month because I blamed myself!”

“Nothing was your fault,” Sirius hissed, face still reddening. “You had no part in it; we thought you were the traitor.”

Remus took a deep breath, lowering his voice and feeling guilt in his stomach. “It was. If I haven’t been a werewolf, Peter wouldn’t have been an Animagus, and none of this could have happened.”

Sirius sat down, looking down at the table, frowning. “No. We should have seen it in the first place. It wasn’t your fault. Never was.”

“Can we stop this?” Harry cut in angrily. “Why not just go to Dumbledore and talk with him! Nothing is going to happen until someone talks to him!”

Danielle nodded. “I’ll get him on the Floo line, shall I?”

“You’re not part of this!” Sirius yelled to Danielle, brow furrowed.

“She is,” Remus told him. “I think she knew Peter better than any of us.”

Danielle looked hesitant about staying, but gave Remus a faint smile before stalking off into the next room. There was the sound of a spell cast by the woman and her opening a pot.

“I’ve got him!” she yelled. Harry led the way where they saw Danielle’s arm sticking through the fire still, and slowly, as she pulled back, Dumbledore’s face appeared. Harry watched in amazement. It did look as though she were pulling him into the room slowly, though the others knew that Floo Powder only needed some part of the body to bring a person either way.

Dumbledore’s head was floating in the fire, his bread looking as though it could have burned in the green flames.

“Why do you trust Snape?” Sirius snapped once he saw the old head.

Eyes grave, Dumbledore did not offer a quick explanation.

Remus gave Dumbledore a questioning look and kept his mouth shut.

“Severus was, indeed, in the service of the Dark Lord. However, he has given me proof that he is on our side.”

“Then why did he do that to Remus?” Sirius growled, pointing to Remus. Remus did not mention that he was feeling better already, but remained silent and tried to catch onto what Dumbledore was going to say.

Dumbledore remained silent and gave Sirius a long look. Remus bit his lip and watched him carefully, still trying to see what he would say.

“I have my reasons,” Dumbledore answered, hesitance in his voice that Remus had never heard before.

“Are you sure?” Sirius asked shrewdly, a snarl playing around his mouth. Remus could see how much Sirius hated Dumbledore at that moment and had to agree with him for once.

“I am positive,” Dumbledore replied, regaining his confidence. “Severus has given me his word on it and that is the end of the conversation.”

Sirius sighed and shook his head. Danielle was still in the corner of the room, watching the conversation with interest.

“If he were on our side,” Harry interrupted, “then would he have done that to Remus anyway?”

Dumbledore gave Remus an apologizing look. “Yes. I apologize for saying so, but I think Severus would. He would still have to act as though he were a Death Eater spying on me.”

“How could he do that to Remus?” Danielle snapped from the back, voice still rather weak from crying. “Does he have any clue what that could have done to him if you didn’t find him? He could very well have died! Bodies can’t go through that much stress and be expected to function normally!”

Remus felt his face redden slightly out of embarrassment that he could hear the two talking about him as though he were not in the room.

“I understand, Ms. Truman,” Dumbledore told her calmly, voice lining with annoyance. “I can see the damaging effects that will occur, but Severus knows that remaining our spy is important. I have issues to deal with now. Goodbye.”

The head disappeared.

Remus sat down on the nearest chair, closing his eyes for a moment, frowning. He felt Sirius’ weight sink next to him, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. Remus briefly mused on how Sirius seemed to touch him more often that before Azkaban, as though those years created a new yearning for human contact.

“I think he’s angry,” Remus said almost jokingly.

“I think he’s lying,” Harry said. Before Remus could interrupt, he told them, “He’s not saying anything. I know he never says anything about it, but he was acting strange. Snape isn’t with us. He’s a traitor.” Harry spat out the word like a curse.

“He has to be,” Sirius agreed, hand tightening on Remus’ shoulder. “Are you alright?”

Remus opened one eye to see that Sirius was talking to him. “Fine,” he answered.

“I know that one transformation is bad enough for you, but…” He gulped. “You can’t be feeling well.”

“I’ve healed enough to go on,” Remus answered. In truth, he felt as he did after only one transformation, but that was still bad enough.

Sirius moved his hand to Remus’ neck, bringing his head onto the thin shoulder. Remus closed his eyes again, trying to rest.

“You had a charm placed on the house, didn’t you?” Danielle asked. Sirius turned to look at her. Her hand hovered over the wall as she frowned. “I can tell that some spell was put up.”

“Yes,” Remus answered, still trying to sleep.

“I suggest putting it back up,” Danielle told him grimly. “Whether with Dumbledore’s help or not. I have a feeling you’re going to be alone in this fight.”