All You Wanted

All You Wanted

(songfic: Michelle Branch)

Ginny~Harry

I wanted to be like you

I wanted everything

Ginny Weasley was writing in her diary as she lay comfortably in her four-poster bed in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory. It had been a busy day, and all she wanted to do was curl up with the little red book she had been writing in since fourth year. The now fifth year Gryffindor was keen to fill her diary in with everything that had been happening that day--including the latest news on Harry Potter.

Ever since I quit my crush on Harry, Diary, I wanted to be just like him--popular and good at Quidditch. But I realise how stupid it sounds. At first I had a crush on him. Now that I'm more mature, I want to be like him. I wish I were good at Quidditch or, you know, be good at something in a way.

But I'm not. I want to be just like Harry, and that's harder than it sounds.

Ginny put down her quill. She stared out the window, sighing.

Harry had been the first boy she'd ever liked. Now she had her heart set on forgetting the affection she'd had in her heart for him and instead, becoming just like him. After all, wasn't imitation the best form of flattery?

Ginny yawned. She lay back in her bed and switched off her bedside light. There was more than being like Harry on her mind.

Professor Dumbledore had announced that Professor Flitwick would be retiring, and in his honour, the school was having some gala dance. When Ginny heard the announcement, her shock and worry were clear. She'd only been to a dance once in her lifetime, the Yule Ball in her third year, and it had not been very, er, fun.

This time, the retirement dance would be held a week from the day of announcement. Professor Dumbledore had clearly stated each and every one of them ought to get partners, but Ginny couldn't be bothered to go hunt a guy down herself.

She smiled as she thought of her fellow Gryffindors, clumsy and cheeky, full of mischief...who would want to go with them?

But...ah, there was Harry...

Stop it! she told herself. You don't like Harry anymore, remember?

She sighed. It was hard to forget him.

Her mind wandered to the boys from other houses...maybe a Ravenclaw boy would be all right...a Hufflepuff was OK. A Slytherin...? Ooh, she shuddered to think of it. It was becoming almost traditional for the Gryffindors to hate the Slytherins and vice versa. Ginny could hardly imagine herself going with someone like Crabbe, or Goyle, or...

Draco Malfoy.

No way!

Malfoy was Harry and Ron's number one enemy, and she had been "brought up" to hate him, too. She didn't believe in hate, but it was quite impossible to hate someone like Malfoy--the cold sneer was enough to make chills run down Ginny's spine...

..."horrified" chills, or...

..."excited" chills?

Indeed. Ginny couldn't help thinking of Malfoy's handsome face just then, how he had changed since she first saw him. The sneer was still there, but it was more condensed; less arrogant. And his hair, in the past perfectly neat, prim and slicked back completely, was different. Strands fell across his face and made him look--without a doubt--exremely handsome.

God, Ginny thought. What the hell am I thinking? Get a grip, Ginny!

She shook her head at her own craziness and turned over to go to sleep.

Ginny~Harry

So I tried to be like you

And I got swept away

"Uh...Ginny? Can I ask you something?" Harry asked Ginny at breakfast three days later. "In private?"

Ginny blushed, seeing her brother Ron exchanged glances with Hermione Granger (whom he had already asked to the dance). She knew what they were thinking. Harry might be planning to ask Ginny to the dance, which, in their terms, would be a milestone.

She hoped he would, not because she still liked him, but because she would definitely be too afraid to do so herself.

"Sure," she said in a light-hearted tone. "Come on."

As they exited the Great Hall, Ginny thought about the past few days. She had been copying Harry exactly. Copying the way he walked. Mimicking his eating habits (helping herself to whatever he took, even though she hated it). She even started wearing her Gryffindor shawl in a way exactly like Harry's, and owled Percy, her older brother, asking him to go to Ollivander's wand shop and buy her the exact same wand that Harry owned. Not surprisingly, Percy owled her back and said there were none left exactly the same.

That left Ginny in tears.

"OK, let's sit here," Harry said, indicating to a bench in the grounds. He took a deep breath.

I know he's going to ask me to the dance, I just know it!

"Look, Ginny," Harry said. "I've...noticed that you're, well, trying to be like me. And I'd just like to know--why?"

Ginny's insides fell fifty feet.

"Oh," she said stupidly. "I...just...wanted to, oh, I'm sorry, Harry. I want to be like you because...you're so popular and good at Quidditch, and I'm nothing." She started to blush. Harry stared.

"Well," he replied, "I just want you to know that it's, um...kind of..."

"What?" Ginny asked, fearing the worst.

"Annoying," Harry finally said.

Oh. Shit.

Ginny gulped. "Sorry, Harry. It won't happen again."

Harry flashed her a small smile, then walked to the Great Hall to finish his breakfast, leaving Ginny completely upset on the bench by herself.

I should have known he wouldn't want to go with me, she thought miserably to herself as she got up from the bench. I should've know better than to always want to be like him. It's all my bloody fault...

She made her way back to the Great Hall, feeling like she'd just swallowed ten lemons whole.

* * * * *

The night of the retirement dance came soon enough, and Ginny looked down anxiously at her cream coloured dress robes, wondering if she ought to have chosen a different colour. She'd bought new dress robes at the start of term, saved for special events like this one, but was cream...too pale for her...?

"Gosh, Ginny! Looking good!" Hermione exclaimed when she saw Ginny standing in front of the mirror. Hermione was wearing lavender robes, and Ginny thought she looked good, too.

"Thanks, Mione," Ginny mumbled. "You look great yourself." She turned back to the mirror, and sighed. These were the cheapest robes she'd been able to find in Madam Malkin's, the best store there was for school robes. Her family had always been financially unstable, and she usually took hand-me-downs and things from her brothers.

This year, though, Ginny's new dress robes were all hers. ALL hers.

"So, Ginny, did you get a date, then?" Hermione asked as they headed to the common room where Hermione would meet Ron.

"Nah," Ginny said.

"Really? I thought Harry was going to ask you that day at breakfast," Hermione remarked. "But, anyway, he's going with Sally-Anne Perks. You may not know her--she's not one of the very popular ones," Hermione added.

"Oh." Ginny wished she had something better to say.

"Hey, don't be too sad. I'm sure there will be lots of others who don't have partners either. All you have to do is walk up to any one of them and ask them to dance!" Hermione said comfortingly.

Ginny snorted. As if it was that easy.

But she did try and look out for the loners when they stepped into the Great Hall, which had been beautifully decorated. Silver stars hung in mid air, and there was a huge plaque behind the staff table that read, "Filius Flitwick! Happy Retirement!" The house tables had been set aside and filled with food, like a buffet. Professor Dumbledore and Professor Flitwick made speeches (which Ginny hardly paid attention to) and then the dancing began.

Ginny flopped against a table, staring blankly at the couples waltzing across the room. She caught a brief glimpse of Ron and Hermione, and of Harry and that Perks girls, whoever she was.

Sighing, Ginny turned to get herself a Butterbeer. She was about to reach for one when she saw, right next to her, the last person she wanted to see without a partner (or the last person she wanted to see, period).

Draco Malfoy.

Oh, holy shit!

She moticed that he didn't have a partner either, and as she grabbed her Butterbeer, he did so, too. Their fingers grazed and Ginny cursed herself inwardly. Malfoy did not seem to have noticed.

Then he looked up.

"Well, Weasley," he said. "No partner?"

His tone was mocking, but kinder than Ginny had expected. The smirk on his face was less harsh, and the way he was looking at her made her heart start to pound.

"No," she said coldly.

"Me neither," he said, almost wistfully. Ginny wondered if he was hinting, but he was staring into the crowd, as if he were searching for something. Or someone.

"See someone you like?" Ginny asked sarcastically, opening her Butterbeer.

Malfoy turned to look at her, narrowing his eyes. Then he bit his lip and Ginny couldn't help feeling sorry for him--he looked upset.

Ginny~Draco

I didn't know that

It was so cold

You needed someone to show you the way

"No one would want to go with me," he said. "I mean, I don't like Pansy, and nobody from any other house likes to go with a Slytherin. He looked at her. "I wish I had a partner, but it looks like I'm stuck on my own." He sighed. "Or maybe I'm plain crap. It's never been easy for me. No one really sticks up for me, and I'm...lost sometimes."

Ginny wondered why he was confessing everything to her. He'd never want to do that, in front of a Weasley. She was rather surprised.

"I'm sorry," was all she could say.

"Don't be," he said quietly. "It's not your fault."

There was a tense silence.

"I don't have a partner either," Ginny said. "And I guess...well, if you really don't have one but...you're desperate..."

Malfoy looked at her. "You'd be my partner, Weasley?"

She nodded.

"There has to be a catch," Malfoy said. "Is there, Weasley?"

"Call me Ginny!" Ginny practically yelled. She hated it when people called her by her surname, especially Draco Malfoy. She saw the shocked expression on Malfoy's face and calmed down. "If you do, I won't call you Malfoy anymore. And anytime you want to bail, we'll leave."

He frowned, thinking. Then he nodded.

"Deal." They shook hands, for probably longer than they normally would, and Ginny looked down at the handshake. She blushed.

"Oh, God. Sorry," Malfoy said, letting go.

"It's OK," Ginny said. "I mean, if we're partners, that's what we ought to...do." She realised how warm her hand had been in his grasp. She slowly reached out her hand again, and Malfoy took it.

So I took your hand

We figured out that

When the tide comes I'll take you away

As Ginny and Malfoy took to the floor, she noticed how people were staring at them. But she enjoyed it. Dancing with Malfoy seemed better than she had thought it would be. For one thing, he was surprisingly more well-built than she thought, seeing him in close up like this. And he was definitely better looking than skinny, bony, nerdy Harry Potter.

What was even better was, Malfoy seemed to be enjoying himself, too, and Ginny felt a rush of pride in her heart for helping him come out of his shell...

Ginny was just enjoying the fast paced song that was playing when a slow one came on. She was jolted out of her thoughts and, for a moment or two, was slightly in shock. Malfoy was smiling sheepishly at her, and she cleared her throat nervously.

"Um...ahem..." Ginny managed to choke out. She reached out to take one of Malfoy's hands shakily, and as he nervously placed one of his hands around her waist she felt even more tense than before.

Then they both started to laugh, in the stupidity of it all. They were so nervous around each other, it was ridiculous!

"Uh..uh..." Malfoy stammered as the dance began, trying to avoid stepping on Ginny's feet. He was doing a pretty good job, and Ginny realised she was supposed to get even closer to him. She took a deep breath, and stepped even nearer; there must have been only a few millimetres between them.

"I never expected dancing with you to be this fun," she confessed, blushing. He smiled at her, a true smile, one that she had never seen in her life. She felt like she was melting; she had never gotten this close to Malfoy before.

"Me neither," he said.

"You know, we're not exactly doing everything a couple would be doing," Ginny blurted out before she could stop herself. Instantly she clapped one hand over her mouth.

But Malfoy just drew her nearer and asked softly, "What don't we do--that we should be doing?"

Ginny bit her lip.

"This," she whispered, and, tiptoeing ever so slightly, she brushed her lips against his, her eyes shut tightly. She was afraid to look at him, NOT because she found him unattractive (on the contrary, God damn it! She found him so God damn attractive!!!), but because she was just...afraid of him. Big bad Draco Malfoy.

When she finally opened her eyes, Malfoy was smiling slightly. Hardly the big bad Draco Malfoy she had thought he'd be.

"I knew that," he said.

"I...knew y-you w-w-would," Ginny stuttered. "I'm sorry..."

"No," he said, winking. "Don't be." He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "It's not your fault."

Ginny's heart began hammering.

"Let's go." Her voice was soft and breathless. "Away from here. Somewhere we can be...alone." She drew out the alone, and, taking Malfoy's hand, she led him away from the dancing, away from the crowds. They headed out to the school grounds. It would be empty, without a soul, since everyone including Hagrid the gamekeeper would be up at the Great Hall.

If you want to

I can save you

I can take you away from here

"Jesus, am I glad we're outta there," she said. "It's so...crowded. And boring. Not to mention lonely. While we have the whole world to ourselves out here."

So lonely inside

So busy out there

They flopped down under a tree, and Ginny touched Malfoy's arm lightly.

"Draco? Is there something you've wanted really badly?" she asked, and Malfoy looked at her, quizzically.

"I mean," Ginny said, "What you craved but never got. Or might never get. I'm just asking."

Malfoy thought for a while.

"What about you?" he asked.

Ginny wondered what she had wanted the most. It clicked. She wanted to be just like Harry. Amazing, great Harry. But she swallowed her words.

"I just hope for world peace," she said, lying through her teeth. "Well? What do you want?"

Malfoy smiled to himself. Ginny wondered what he was thinking about, and wished she could read his mind. He looked up again. "Are we talking since forever, or what?"

"Anything. Anytime," Ginny said, catching his eye. She blushed. Why did she feel so weak whenever she looked into those amazing grey eyes? She forced herself to look away--it was very hard to do so.

"Two things."

"What are they?"

"Don't laugh," Malfoy warned.

"I won't," Ginny promised.

"I want...somebody who cares. About...me." he mumbled.

And all you wanted was somebody who cared

Ginny found herself drawn to his eyes again. "And...the second thing?"

Malfoy leaned closer. "You."

He kissed her.

Oh, my God, Ginny thought as she found herself responding. This was hardly anything Ron would consider acceptable...oh, who cared about Ron? She leaned into the

kiss, feeling it intensify as she felt Malfoy take her in his arms. She let him do so, and by the time they broke apart, her heart was thudding madly.

Malfoy reached out and tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. She hadn't realised it had fallen. Before he could remove his hand, she took it, and held it for a long, long time, staring into his eyes.

"I didn't tell you before," Malfoy said. "I mean, I only started feeling like...like this a few months ago."

He got up. "I think I'll go do some flying. On the pitch, I mean. I guess I need to think. See you around, Ginny."

He was walking away when Ginny rose and chased him.

"Draco!" she shouted. He turned.

"I want to follow you," she said stubbornly.

Please can you tell me

So I can finally see

Where you go when you're gone

The next few hours were pure joy and bliss for Ginny. She walked, hand-in-hand with Malfoy, to the Quidditch pitch, where they rode together on his Nimbus Two Thousand and One. And when Malfoy put his arms around her to steady her (it was, after all, her first time on a broom), Ginny leaned back against him. The warmth that washed around her made her smile.

"Draco," she whispered as she turned, ever so slightly, and he rested his head on her shoulder.

"Yeah?" he said.

"I can't imagine the look on Ron's face if he were to see us up here," she said. Then she thought of the disappointment Ron would feel. She felt so, so worried about what her family would think. And what...Harry would think. It hurt her. And she started to cry.

I'm sinking slowly

So hurry hold me

Your hands are all I have to keep me holding on

"Hey, Ginny...don't cry," Malfoy said soothingly. "Don't be afraid of Ron."

His voice was so comforting that Ginny finally managed to smile in spite of herself. Around Malfoy, things were simply perfect. When he kissed her, or he held her, or just was with her, her heart soared and she felt her feelings for him grow more and more as the night dragged on. They returned to the tree and sat in a branch (thanks to the broomstick) and talked non-stop.

Ginny and Draco, sitting in a tree, Ginny thought happily as Malfoy told her some joke (that she was barely listening to because it was amazing enough being with him). She leaned on his strong shoulder, knowing whatever happened, he would protect her...

If you want to

I can save you

I can take you away from here

So lonely inside

So busy out there

And all you wanted was somebody who cared

After the tree, they walked by the lake, and then they returned to the Great Hall in time for the last slow dance of the evening. This time, Ginny was fully prepared for the dance, and enjoyed it all the more.

Life was perfect.

"Ginny?" she heard Malfoy murmur.

She looked up. "Yeah?"

"I never thought I'd say it, Weasley, but you're the best partner someone like me could ever have," Malfoy teased.

A broad smile played on her face. She wished she could reveal what was in her heart, how she felt, how everything had changed since he told her he...wanted her. She wanted to tell him she felt the same as he did.

The last dance was over, students waved to Professor Flitwick as Professor Dumbledore escorted him to a carriage that was waiting outside the school. However, Ginny and Malfoy could hardly care about him. They were already making their way back to their common rooms, still together, only deciding to split up when they had to.

I can't believe it. I asked Draco to be my partner. I kissed him. I rode on a broom with him. I love him, God damn it! Ginny thought as Malfoy walked her back to Gryffindor Tower. Her mind was racing. It was amazing how feelings could change so quickly. Before the dance, she had hated Draco Malfoy's guts. Now...? Everything was the total opposite.

When they were outside the common room, Ginny cleared her throat.

"Thanks, Draco," she said in a small voice. "For a wonderful evening." It sounded way corny. But she was grateful for Malfoy. Grateful for all that he'd done. Talked to her, gifted her a partner.

Kissed her.

Made her realise how she felt about him.

"No problem," Malfoy said quietly.

The situation was tense. Then, as if they could read each other's minds, both leaned forward. Their lips met, and Ginny felt the rush of ecstacy she had felt so many times before when he danced with her or held her.

They broke apart.

"I have to go," Ginny mumbled. "I'm so sorry."

Why do I have to say goodbye? Ginny thought. I mean, holy shit, I never even managed to tell him how I felt!

She turned, but Malfoy took her arm. He made her face him, entwining his fingers in hers, making warmth flow through her like a river. He saw the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Don't be," he whispered, kissing her. "It's not your fault."

The End