The Sky Is Breaking

Motionless he stared at the night sky, his eyes a mirror for the glimmering stars above. From where he sat they were bright, flashing dots like thousands of mirrors glinting through the darkness only for him. Remus hated the stars and their deceiving elegance. He hated the way he wanted to touch them, the way they could grab his heart and just hold him in thrall of something so foreign and perfect. He'd learned long ago that his destiny wasn't wrapped in fragile tranquility but in things more dark and feral.

Tangling his hands in the thick grass he sat in he dug his nails gently into the soil, the pungent scent of earth rising about him as he kept his gaze on the sky. It was a peaceful sky. The moon had finally waned to nothing leaving the stars free to reign the heavens. Leaving him free to breath without the constant pulling in his chest, the aching in his bones. For the moment the wolf was gone. The emptiness made him feel lightheaded and alive. It was a feeling that he reveled in.

That's what had brought him out to the empty field in the middle of the night. His empty house was to confining, clean but cluttered with books and too many memories. The vastness of the sky seemed to swallow all his problems and his pain. By laying in the grass in the cool night air he didn't have to think about his responsibilities or the letter that he'd received earlier that morning. It was too tempting to not think for once.

Hardly one of your character traits, his mind jeered, you were never the impetuous one. It was true, in the past he'd never put things off or turned his back on his responsibilities. He's always done everything he was involved with efficiency and thorougness. Even at Hogwarts he'd been the reliable one. Studious Remus Lupin, always quiet and polite. Unobtrusive. For most of his life he'd wanted to fade away into the background and disappear from notice. It was safer to be that way.

James had been the dashing one of the group, always smiling an kind. He was the sort of personality who stood out in a crowd without having to make a scene. Subtly charming and protective he had a soul of pure gold. He'd been so damn loyal to all his friend and blind to every girl but Lily Evans. It still made him sick to think of what all his loyalty had gotten him.

It was hard to think of James and how things had turned out as a result of everything that had happened. All the plans the Marauders had made together, their history, the love that was between them had all been for nothing. Instead of taking their falls together their very core had been blasted out and they had been torn apart. Life had a funny way of preparing you to be hit in the gut and then kicking you in the teeth instead.

The letter had been from Dumbledore, a warning of things to come and a request to let Sirius stay with him when he returned from rousing the others. He had paid the owl and sent it on it's way before what he'd read actually set in. Realization had been pure adrenaline, a sudden rush that turned into worry in the pit of his stomach. Sirius would be coming. It filled him with fear to think about having to face him, speak to him, his best friend, the only love he'd ever had.

He was afraid. What is there to say to the only person who knows you better than yourself. How could words even express the things he'd been feeling since their brief meeting in the Shrieking Shack. He had been ashamed of himself for not being able to hate Sirius all those years he'd been in Azkaban, but he hated himself for believing in his guilt. He'd condemned Sirius so easily when Sirius had never condemned him for what he was. He was a coward.

Leaving the letter on the table where it had fallen from his fingers he had done what his instincts had told him to do. Run. So he had run from the cramped house, from the letter, from his responsibility and from his fear. He'd run to a place he'd only known as the Wolf, a place he'd only stalked and torn through before, and sank down into the grass to lose himself in the moonless sky and the cold air.

Sitting up Remus pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around the thin khakis. Resting his chin on his knees, he made sure not breaking his gaze on the sky. He would do what he had to do. He owed Dumbledore his loyalty in anything he asked, and if he was asked to give shelter to Sirius he would. Though it didn't stop the fear that was building in him at what he would see in the man when he arrived.

***

With careful steps Remus retraced the path he'd run earlier, his eyes well adjusted to the darkness. His limbs ached from having sat in the same spot for so long and with each step his muscles cried out in relief. The path was overgrown but easy to manage and he slowly made his way back to the secluded spot where his neat little house was tucked in the shadow of a forest and looked out over the bushy field.

Digging his bare toes into the familiar coolness of his small grassy yard he faltered as his eyes caught sight of his doorstep and the large, scraggly dog that lay sleeping upon it. Stopping dead he willed the wave of shock down, steeling himself for the confrontation. It didn't take long for the dark head of the dog to stir, and in a motion more threatening than any Grim look him straight in the eye.

For a heartbeat there was silence before Remus crossed his arms over his chest and smiled slightly at the dog. "Hello, Sirius."

At his words the dog lifted itself into a sitting position and turned into the familiar form of Sirius Black. A much changed Sirius Black, Remus noted the sunken cheeks and skeletal thinness that was could only have been caused by long periods of starvation. It was his eyes, however, they kept him from speaking again. They were haunted things. They were dark and dead like a shadow of their former sparkle. This was not the Sirius Black that he had known so intimately, he was a changed man. Azkaban had seen to that.

"You were gone and I didn't want to intrude uninvited..." His voice was raspy, halting, sounding ever bit as tired as he was sure he was. Remus ached just looking at the state he was in, but merely took a breath and forced another smile.

"I needed some air, I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived. Come in, it's poor of me to leave you sitting on the doorstep like that."

Sirius followed him through the door, closing it behind him and stepping tentatively into the cluttered space of the front hall. At the end of the hall Remus had stopped and he could sense the tension that radiated from him. It struck Sirius almost as a physical blow, to know that the toll that his presence was causing and words failed him.

"Remus.." He shot a look back toward the closed front door before looking back at his friend. "I should go. This isn't going to be comfortable, and it's hardly fair of Dumbledore to ask this of you.."

His words trailed off as he watched the rigid set of his friends shoulders relax as Remus turned to look him in the eye. "No."

"I'm not doing this only for Dumbledore." For a moment he was held by the honey gaze of the fairer man before Remus turned and walked away. "Don't mind the mess.. I never have visitors."

Feeling a pang of guilt from his words, Sirius proceeded down the hall and into the small living room of the house. It was a simple room, furnished all in creams with a hardwood floor. The only furniture was in the shape of an untouched couch and a low coffee table covered in books and papers. Running his fingers over the snowy fabric of the couch he realized how filthy he was and drew his hand back with a muttered curse. The room was perfect for Remus, he decided, a mix of clutter and class that worked together. He was the only blight in the picture, the filthy dark spot in the neat world of whites. But he had asked him to stay.

For awhile he stood in silence, noting the lack of waving wizard pictures and senseless personal knick-knacks about the room. It was nothing like the house they'd shared before, the run down cottage outside of London full of pictures, planning and friends. Remus lived in this house all alone with no visitors he said. Something twinged inside of Sirius at the thought of the Remus he had known, who had been full of such a shining warmth and spirit, left in a world where he didn't have friends to support him.

From the kitchen he could hear the beat by beat sounds of cabinets opening and closing and the subtle hiss of Remus' muggle teakettle. The air was heavy in the living room, too heavy for Sirius to bear and he turned his back on the cluttered room and followed the soft sounds into the kitchen.

Leaning against the worn doorframe he preserved the silence as he watched Remus arranging the fragile teacups on the spotless counter. Something remained constant, he mused, as he observed the much practiced ritual of tea-making. Remus seemed more relaxed, waiting on the water to boil.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that a watched pot never boils, Remus?" Finding his voice Sirius smiled as the fairer man looked up guiltily and smiled, the sparkle reaching his honeyed eyes.

"I find it relaxing, actually," he admitted, turning his gaze back to the stove. "You never did have enough patience to find comfort in waiting."

He heard rather than saw Sirius approaching but then he was beside him, the haunted look in his eyes once more. "I have a lot more patience than you think. I've been waiting to be here with you for years."

The clatter of a saucer on the counter was the only sign that he'd been heard. The waver went through him, shaking him to the core. It was so hard to be so close to him and know that the distance was deceiving. Pulling the kettle of the flames the first sign of whistling, Remus set it on the unused burned and doused the flames without looking him in the eye. "Tea's done..."

"Forget the tea, Moony, we need to talk." Lightly catching his chin, Sirius turned his face toward him so he could see his eyes. When he spoke his voice was low. "This dance isn't going to solve anything and stubbornly ignoring things do not make them go away."

"You think I don't know that?" Looking up into the eyes of his former lover, Remus narrowed his gaze before letting it drop back down to the counter. His voice grew softer as he spoke. "You think that I haven't run everything I would say to you in this situation over and over in my head until it hurt to try and find words? Do you think I've had any rest, any sleep since the last time I saw you walk out my door?"

Drawing in a deep breath he clenched his hands into fist, speaking as if to convince himself. "I had to realize that I didn't need you to rest, that I didn't need to find the words that eluded me. You were gone, Sirius. You left me, and I thought that you had chosen your path. I believed that you killed them, I had to believe it."

"You had no reason not to." Sirius' voice was soft, the commanding tone that always tinged his words gone. Catching sight of the darkness in his eyes, Remus ached to touch the sunken planes of his face or hold him. Instead he dug his nails into his palms, wincing at the pain as he looked deep into those dark eyes.

"I had every reason not to, can't you see that?" His voice rose, each word more painful than the next. " I condemned you to all that horror, I betrayed you to those monsters without saying a word. I left you, my first friend, the only love I've ever had. I'm a coward, Sirius. When I saw you that night at Hogwarts I felt the broken shards of my heart biting into me, drawing blood again. These sins of mine cannot be absolved, I've earned every black taint."

Silence blanketed the room for a moment and Remus felt his throat constrict as his words settled around them. Then it was broken, smashed and shattered by the low, earthy sound of Sirius Blacks laughter. A smile tugged at his lips as he watched the puzzled look on Remus' face as he brought his palm up to cup his cheek. "All that guilt. Moony, if I didn't know what an unholy beast you really are I'd of thought your inner Catholic had come out."

Shaking his head sadly, Remus pulled away from Sirius and absently pushed his shaggy hair out of his eyes. "I use to think that your laughter solved everything, did you know that? But we all have to grow up and lose our illusions, don't we."

With a sigh, he reached the threshold into the living room before turning back. "You can sleep down here, there's a spare bed right across the hall. There are towels and such in the bathroom and help yourself to anything to eat."

Raking his fingers through his tangled black hair, Sirius nodded. "Thanks for putting me up, Moony."

Remus nodded, a far away look in his eyes. "Goodnight Padfoot."

***

With his back pressed against the closed door Remus cradled his head in his arms. His head ached, the throbbing in time with the pulse of the downstairs shower spray that's sound carried through the silent house. He longed to run from the house, back out under the soothing stars. He longed to lose himself in the unbiased glow and forget again.

He was afraid to move from his place, afraid to be caught by another sleepless night. He was afraid of the morning sun and having to look Sirius in the eye. It was almost physically painful to think of the way he had acted tonight.

You're a coward, he reminded himself silently, a damn coward who hides away in his room and think that one day he'll lose yourself in your self or your books and never have to face anyone again. Never have to let anyone in again... Pressing his bare toes against the cool wood of the floor he listened to the squeak of the plumbing and then the silence that replaced the water sounds. He sighed to himself.

For years he had tried to disappear, he'd spent twelve years in self imposed exile outside of society. Twelve years of moving around, of keeping away from condemning eyes, of starving and never staying in one place too long. The glamour of moving around had worn thin in time and when the owl with the offer from Dumbledore to teach reached him he had said yes at once. There was a new generation at Hogwarts, a generation that wouldn't look at him and see Sirius Black, the betrayal of the Potters, or the werewolf freak. It was an opportunity to be nothing but Remus Lupin, non descript teacher. The idea had filled him with hope.

It had been ideal and doomed to fail like all good things. The look in Snapes taunting black eyes, the way that Minerva had always seemed close to tears upon seeing him and Harry looking up at him through James face. They all took their toll on him, and kept him up at night in fear of how everything seemed stacked to crumble around him again.

Then that night. The fear had already been there, the weight in his chest when he thought about Sirius free from Azkaban and wanting to kill Harry. Worse was the image of Sirius being caught, the image of his pleading eyes as he went under the Dementors kiss. He wasn't prepared to be confronted with his death, of losing him again. Seeing his name on the Marauders Map had been like seeing a ghost, he knew it was possible but somehow couldn't believe it. Then he'd seen the second name he'd thought never to see again and the pieces had all snapped into place, the picture so obvious before him that he had been forced to steady himself on his feet before tearing out of the castle and after his friend.

He'd swallowed all of his guilt that night and aided Sirius as best he could in calming the children and explaining the truth that he had only recently realized. It had been his own weakness that had caused Sirius to fail in holding Peter and proving his innocence. It had been his own stupidity that had let Peter flee back to his master and in time hurt Harry again. Bang up job, Moony, his mind taunted, forgetting about the full moon like it isn't an ever-present aching reminder in your bones.

It seemed that everything he touched was destroyed, that the life of exile was what he was destined for. He'd had his happiness, the years before the horror of Voldemorts first reign with the Marauders at Hogwarts. Full moons when they had figured out how to master transforming to keep him busy. Summers with Sirius, the only time when he'd felt like he belonged. The mornings waking up beside him in a sun filled room and feeling content. Those were things that he'd never lose no matter what horror the dark world was preparing for them. He would guard those memories more closely than any treasure held in Gringotts. They were his and his alone.

His silent diatribe was broken by the sharp creak of the screen door downstairs opening and falling closed, the sound making his heart jump into his throat. Getting to his feet he pulled a frayed gray sweater on against the chill before making the trek down to check the door. Dread seeped into him at the thought of Sirius leaving without saying a word, dread greater than that of him staying to face him. Not that he'd blame him for leaving, he thought as he came to the open front door, he'd acted poorly from the start.

Sirius hadn't left, he realized as he saw his still form sitting on the front step through the closed screen door. Idly gripping the fabric of the sweater at each wrist, he smiled slightly to himself as he watched Sirius sit unmoving. As a boy Sirius had never sat still as far as he could remember, he'd always been moving and plotting and slouching. Time had changed him, it was inevitable he knew but somehow sad to see his friend in such a way.

Pushing through the door he ignored his nagging doubts and stepped out into the cold air and sat down beside him without a word. It was energizing, the cold against his skin and the subtle smell of soap that seemed to tinge the air. The silence was nice, aside from the soft sounds of breathing neither seemed inclined to break it with words. For a moment it was just peaceful to sit in the cold air under the stars.

It was Sirius who spoke first, his face turned upward toward the sky while is words fell around them. "My mother named me after a star. Well, you already know that. The Egyptians built temples around the star Sirius, had deities who's association with the star were fruitful and whole religions sprung up associating bounty, reincarnation and rebirth with the star because of the way the Nile produced when it rose in association with the sun. It was a heavy load for a skinny kid with too much energy to carry on his shoulders."

Shrugging he continued to look upward, Remus watched as his too thin shoulders barely moved the fabric of the dark sweater he wore. "I only appreciated it later, all those nights spent under the stars when we were at school when I actually could see my namesake. Sirius, where souls go after they die. I felt so alive and in tune with it all, as strong as the stars but never as stationary. I don't think I sat still long enough to crease a chair once in seven years at Hogwarts. It's funny now."

"You were pure energy, Sirius," Remus cast his voice low, turning his face up to look at the heavens. "There has always been a spark inside of you that is purely your own. Like the light from your star, steady and close and unyielding. It gave you a draw that was unavoidable. Inescapable."

Sirius laughed, a soft sound that rose gooseflesh along his arms, and leaned back holding his weight on his arms. "I was a mess, Moony. I couldn't pay attention in classes, I couldn't find meaning in causing trouble after awhile and I was chaotic inside. It's hard spending your whole life not giving a care to anything, I was so unsure of myself on the inside. I think a lot of my image was false bravado."

"I remember the first time I saw you, on the Hogwarts Express when I asked to sit with you because the other cars were full. You had this gleam in your eye and you said, if I recall correctly, 'No problem, just remember if anyone comes in here and asks you anything.. that I've been sitting here the whole time.'"

Sirius winced in guilt, then grinned down at the slender man beside him, a soft breeze stirring the still damp tendrils of dark hair that fell around his face. "If I recall I had set off some dung-bombs in a car full of dour-faced soon to be Slytherins."

"Yes," Remus nodded with a slight laugh. "Talk about starting the year off with a bang, I think it was the rage on Malfoys face that earned you James as a friend for life."

At the mention of James name both men tensed a little and turned their gazes back to the sky. Sirius looked down at Remus and smiled softly. "We were as thick as thieves at school, I miss that sometimes. I miss feeling comfortable. All the little things like sneaking out to Hogsmeade, sitting in the common room or us working on my bike."

"You never let anyone other than yourself touch that bike, I don't know what your talking about." Looking properly offended, Remus let himself laugh at the look on the darker mans face. "It was a death trap anyway."

" I enjoyed me working on the bike while you told me what a bad idea making it fly would be, better? Though I seem to remember that it took more than just me to actually work the spells and charms on it."

Raising an eyebrow, Sirius tsk'd softly and Remus blushed. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, Remus shrugged. " It's because you knew very well that I couldn't say no to you."

Stretching his long longs out in front of him, Sirius let the admission linger in the air. "When I was in Azkaban I use to think about all of us at school, even when it got bad in there I never forgot how it was. Things that had always seemed so trivial had new meaning and I knew that I had to get out of there if only to see you again. So much was left unfinished between us."

"Sirius," Remus tried to stop the direction of the conversation but he was stopped with a dark look. "No, Moony. You have to hear this before you can take it all in and bear it like a cross. Please just listen for awhile."

"That use to be my line," he murmured as Sirius watched him, waiting for a sign that he could start.

Seeing Remus turn his eyes upward he took that as a sign, and taking in a breath he began. "You have to know how sorry I am about how things happened, I never dreamt that when I left you that morning that I wouldn't see you for years. I'm such a bastard for hurting you. Our relationship, that we had.. it was so amazingly perfect and deep down I knew that I was going to ruin it. You had so much patience for me, such a calm smile for me whenever I had any trouble. I felt that the smile in your eyes was just for me."

" When James and Lily asked me to be their secret keeper I knew that I couldn't do it, that somehow I would fail at it and that I'd lose you. Peter seemed like such a perfect solution, no one would suspect him and we could keep an eye on him like we did when we were at school. I never even got to tell you what I had decided, I was so sure that for once I had made the responsible decision and that you would see it."

Running his fingers through his hair, an unconscious gesture that spoke of his nervousness, he paused to take in a breath before speaking again. " I was never any good at being responsible. I never thought that anything I could do would drive you away."

"You didn't trust me..." Remus whispered this, his eyes hidden by his shaggy hair. As he spoke his words were tinged with sadness. " I never deserved your trust because of what I am."

Sirius turned toward Remus in one motion, his eyes narrowed and flashing. " Never say that, do you hear me? You were the only person I trusted, the only person in this god forsaken world who I didn't want to disappoint. And I did, I fucked up."

"I fucked it up for both of us, Moony. I ruined the only good stable thing in my life and left you alone." Raking his long fingers through his hair again, Sirius furrowed his brow in frustration. "I know I've hurt you, am still hurting you by being here, and I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm doing a pathetic job of living up to my namesake. Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me, or even talk to me in daylight?"

Letting a soft smile creep across his face Remus turned his gaze to the worry on Sirius' face. His eyes were downcast, vulnerable and reluctant to show it, his hair dried to fall silkily about his slightly hunched shoulder. He was waiting for an answer, Remus realized with a shock. His question had been real, a question not a statement to be agreed upon and accepted.

Never had he seen him in such a state of complete worry, self confidence had seemed to be the very core of Sirius and he was pleased to know that it wasn't so. Pleased to see the doubt in his eyes, and the tension in his shoulders. It sent a shiver of excitement through him to know that this problem wasn't only his to bear. Biting his lip against the smile he realized how much Sirius resembled the boy he'd been, the boy with the doubting eyes behind the roguish smirk.

Sirius squirmed under his golden gaze, seeing the searching as doubt and pain flickered across his face followed by a stony look. He started to speak, Remus could almost hear the excuse he'd make to leave in his mind as he leaned forward and cut Sirius' words off with a soft brush of his lips against his mouth. For a moment neither breathed, just froze, sharing the same space for an instance before Remus leaned back.

He ignored the surge of adrenaline that coursed through him, the desire that stirred with the brief contact and looked deep into the dark eyes that stared at him. " I don't need your apologies, Padfoot. I never did."

Remus pushed his hair out of his eyes and reached out and covered Sirius' hand with his own. Sirius' skin was cold to his touch, cold but not foreign or unresisting, and it gave him the courage he needed to speak. " I only need you."

His heart hammered in his chest, color flooding his face as he realized the depth of his admission. Sirius' hand stirred under his own, grasping Remus' fingers between his, his dark gaze searching the face of the now silent man with an unreadable look. Dread filled him as the air grew heavier between them, but his thoughts were cut off as Sirius' eyes flashed with something familiar and his lovers mouth came down on his own in a searing kiss that sent a jolt of recognition through every pore of his body.

Danger, his mind screamed at him as his inhibition melted away under the sweet pressure of the mouth that caressed him in a way he'd though to never know again. The ache in his chest was enflamed by the merest touch of his only lovers hand on his neck, the brush of his soft hair against his face and the heat the radiated in the space between them. Reaching up he let his fingers slide through the beautiful black hair that tickled his face he pressed his fingers into the warm skin of Sirius' neck to feel the throbbing beat of his heart.

Their mouths each fought for control, tongues clashing and playing out a well practiced dance. Remus gasped as Sirius let his teeth come down on his lip, nipping and sucking in a gesture that spread the fire growing in the pit of his stomach into his chest and through his groin. He'd forgotten how it felt, the magnetism that flowed between them and made it impossible to draw away. He'd longed for it, and the longing won over as he felt the cool touch of fingers pushing the thin sweater up to make contact with the pale curve of his hip above his pants. He wanted to touch him in kind.

No words were spoken, Remus barely dared to breath as he let Sirius run his fingertips over the contours of his back and linger on the sensitive skin around his navel. It was dream like, a phantom touch that would vanish if he moved and broke the spell, but the warmth of the skin touching his own was real. Biting his lip softly, he let himself fall victim to the bottomless dark eyes that had seemed so dead only hours ago.

He nodded his consent as Sirius pulled the thin sweater off over his head and pressed his palms against his chest, submitting to the kisses that burned him though he ached to feel Sirius' warmth pressed against him. Closing his eyes he ignored the chill in the night air and abandoned himself to the heat that branded him, savoring the feel of his touch, his tongue, his closeness. It was heady, more addictive than anything he'd ever known and he felt himself swell in memory of times that had come before.

"Sirius... Please." His words held more pleading than he'd intended, his shaky fingers digging into the rough fabric of the sweater Sirius wore. A soft smile touched Sirius' lips as his smoldering look penetrated his trusting gaze, the honey tinged with something darker under the starlight. Without breaking eye contact Sirius swept the offending garment off, shrugging his strong shoulders against the night air and exposing his still too thin figure.

Reaching forward Remus let himself feel the faint bumps of the still apparent ribs before pulling him closer so that their chests pressed flush as they knelt before each other. Hip to hip he splayed his fingers across the smooth expanse of Sirius' back as his tucked his chin in the curve of his neck, idly nipping at his lovers earlobe and he nuzzled his neck in an effort to get closer to him. He wanted to meld into him, to know nothing but his touch and let all his worries fall away. What did he need worries for when his love was pressed against him, aroused and content as he was.

In one motion Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around the slender figure before him, the tempo of his heart echoing that of the slighter man, and pulled him off the step and under him into the grass. The damp blades of grass clung to them as they clung together, the tiny points barely a tickle on their fevered skin. Skimming his palms over his lovers sides Sirius buried his face in Remus' neck and for awhile they didn't move but for rising and falling that went with breath. Without moving Remus looked over the pale shoulder of man above him at the stars that had somehow changed since he'd seen them last. They pulsed above him, distant, burning suns in the place of remote specs of ice, mirroring the scalding pulse of the blood in his veins. The moonless sky had betrayed him he realized as he felt the clawing of the wolf in chest, the primal energy that surged through him and made the pressure on his erection painful. He needed more than to touch and feel, he needed to claim and mark what was his.

Sirius felt the change in him before he even spoke, as the soft caresses of the his hands on his back became more demanding and the subtle pressure against his hips would no longer be ignored. When Remus spoke it came out as a growl, a dangerous timbre on his normally soft voice. " I can't stop here, I need to feel you Sirius. I can't control it anymore."

The self control that he'd always kept in check was gone as he pushed Sirius off of him and tackled him back into the grass, trapping the stronger man with the pressure of his hips against him. Bracing himself on his knees above his captive he let the flood of fire in his body guide him in biting the mouth that had teased him, in raking the pale flesh that had bewitched him with his nails, and thrusting his hips against the hardness that he wanted to feel against his own.

Beneath him Sirius let out a broken sound that came from deep in his throat, his eyes closed and his neck exposed to his ministrations. He didn't move, letting Remus make all the contact and friction but to grasp the fairer mans flanks to keep him close to him. He'd seen him like this before, full of wildness and desire, he'd been the only one to see him like this. No one else knew what kind of animal really lay beneath the calm surface of Remus Lupin, no one else know how to control it.

"Moony," his voice was rough, broken by desire but had it's desired effect as Remus connected with his gaze and brought his mouth down to meet with Sirius'. The air around them was heated, their bodies sought contact roughly while their mouthes connected with soft pressure and tentative tongues. They discarded their remaining clothing gradually and with no inhibitions until there was nothing but sure hands on pale flesh. Never breaking contact with their mouths, a link more intimate than sex, they brought each other to orgasm clinging together on the grass.

Exposed, they lay in each other arms taking in the old scars and the new, reveling in the feelings of comfort that had seemed destined to remain elusive for so long. For a moment the stars seemed to recede above them, their blaze dimmed by the pulse of their synchronized hearts and the tinge of cooling sweat. At that moment there was no war, no betrayal, no Azkaban, no wolf. There were only two lovers who had only been half formed apart. Their worries were for the morning, and together they lay until the stars dimmed and broke from the sky, giving way to the dawn.