Operation: Get Bob

Operation: Get Bob!

Chapter 1: September

There wasn't anything special about the day, except that it was September 1^st, which meant that it was the first day of our last year at Hogwarts.

Voldemort had been defeated; for good this time. I killed him! I don't say that to brag or bring unwanted attention to myself. No! I say that because Voldemort had this bad habit of turning up even when he was supposed to be dead. But this time, I killed him body and soul, never to be seen again, end of story. No returning to make everyone's lives miserable, no knife like pains in my scar, no...well, you get the picture.

I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. The final battle had been, well, I guess the word 'horrendous' would best describe it. There was no big war as you may have expected. No, Voldemort and his followers just showed up at Hogwarts one day. Showed up looking for me!

There were those in the school who tried to protect me, teachers, friends and some acquaintances, mostly members of the D.A. There were some that stood behind the Death Eaters, mostly Slytherins. Surprisingly not Malfoy though. I still shake my head at that one. One of these days I'm going to sit down and figure out his mind...Yeah right!

Anyway, I vaguely recall Dumbledore clearing all the students out of the Great Hall. We circled each other, neither taking his eyes off the other. Professor McGonagall must have removed the house tables, because suddenly there was plenty of room.

Voldemort sent the first curse, which I dodged of course. Then it was on. We battled for hours. Neither one of us could gain the upper hand. Voldemort kept screaming at his Death Eaters to stay back, that I was his. The members of the D.A., wands at the ready, were being held back by the professors.

Curses flew and were dodged. Incantations were shouted and echoed, filling the very corners of the room. I was feeling the strain. I can't tell you what he was feeling. That went with him to his grave.

I can tell you though that it lasted five bloody hours. It was the longest five hours of my life. And in the end, it was a relatively simple spell that finished him. Stupify. Stupify for Merlin's sake! He let his guard down and...the rest, as they say, is history. I was able to sneak the killing curse in on him. When they saw that their leader was down, the Death Eaters scattered. Somewhere along the line the Auror's had showed up. I assume that Dumbledore called them in. And there was a battle then, but it didn't last long. The Auror's rounded up the Death Eaters.

There was an inquiry about the killing curse I used. For show mostly I think. The Ministry found me not guilty.

Thankfully, all of that is in the past.

But right now I would like to tell you about Bob! Bob is the love of my life; my very breath and, the bane of my existence.

Like I said, there was nothing special about the day. We were all light hearted. Indeed, more so than we had been in years. The noise in the hall was booming and buoyant, especially among the seventh years.

We were looking forward to a relatively normal year. Well, as normal as you can get at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We were all anxiously awaiting the sorting of the new first years, and anticipating the beginning of the feast. Soon we heard the familiar tapping of a spoon against the crystal goblet and the hall quieted. Professor McGonagall stood and announced, "Before we have the first years come in, we have a new student in seventh year who will be sorted first. Malfoy, Roberta!

To say that she was beautiful is like saying...hmm...like saying that Dumbledore can do a little bit of magic. I think that the word Goddess popped in there somewhere in the back of my mind.

Waist length honey blonde hair, wavy and softly curled, framing her perfect face. But her eyes...pardon me while I drool a little, her eyes were the deepest most beautiful shade of green and I knew that I could spend a lifetime staring into those emerald pools. Her skin looked as if she had toasted herself on some beach. I had no doubt at the time that the very sand struggled for position just to support her lovely body.

Does it sound like I'm waxing romantic? Sorry, can't help it! Let's just say that she was pretty darn cute, and leave it at that shall we?

As she walked up the isle between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, time seemed to slow.

Her smile was sunshine itself. She seemed to move in slow motion. Then, she turned that smile on me and gave me an insolent little wink; me, Harry-I'm-nothing-how-can-she-notice-me-Potter.

Well, I like to think that she was looking at me. The fact is that there were two tables of males between her and me and if I was completely honest, she probably didn't even notice me. I'll have to ask her some day.

Where was I? Oh yeah...slow motion. By the time she reached the front of the hall and sat her lovely derriere on the stool, there wasn't a person in the hall that wasn't affected by her mere presence. The girls were all grumbling, and the guys...the guys were, for lack of a better word, stunned. I mean, she had the effect of a stupefy curse on the entire male student body.

Do you remember how quickly the sorting hat placed Malfoy in Slytherin? That was nothin' compared to Bob. I don't think that McGonagall did anything more than approach her with the hat. "Slytherin!"

I thought I heard a collective groan of disappointment from about three-quarters of the room. But I really couldn't tell because my own disappointment came crashing down on me like a brick wall.

I watched her happily jump up and surprisingly start removing her school robes. Beneath which she was wearing a robe sporting the Slytherin crest. She sauntered over toward the Slytherin table and Malfoy, Draco not Roberta, forced Pansy to scoot down to make room. Without batting an eye she placed the biggest kiss on Malfoy's lips that I think I have ever seen. My stomach dropped to my feet. Through narrowed eyes, I watched Malfoy's surprise and I must admit that I snickered when he looked around to see who was watching. Only everybody you bloody git.

Little by little, the conversations continued and things became more normal, though I don't think that I heard one name belonging to the new first years. I kept glancing over at the far table. Malfoy put an arm around her shoulders and it took all my effort not to challenge him right then and there. They had the same last name for Merlin's sake. There had to be some familial connection that would preclude a relationship between the two of them.

When the food appeared, I didn't immediately tuck in, so Hermione proceeded to dish up my plate. "C'mon Harry, eat! Honestly. She's a Malfoy for Heavens sake and a Slytherin." Then she reached over and pushed my mouth closed. I reacted in the only way that was appropriate. No, I didn't bite her, although the thought did cross my mind. No, I just pushed her hand away "Leave off Hermione!"

As the feast ended and the prefects lead the first years to their dorms, I watched a circle of admirers begin to gather around the new Slytherin seventh year. I really wanted to join them, but upon watching her reaction to all the attention, I decided that another tactic was probably wise. Just what that was, I wasn't sure, but it had to be something different than joining the circle that was now four deep.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, the word Veela kept cropping up. Remembering my reaction at the Quidditch World Cup was enough to make me turn and follow Ron and Hermione out of the Great Hall. I watched Ron surreptitiously glance at the woman, who by this time I had decided was going to be the mother of my children. Then he reluctantly follow his girlfriend out of the hall.

That night, I sat in the Gryffindor common room and stared into the fire. I am certain on the outside it appeared that all was right with the world and that I couldn't be happier. But on the inside...on the inside I was plotting, planning and scheming. One by one I rejected ideas directed toward getting Bob to be mine. I really needed Hermione for this. She was the schemer of the trio, but I had the distinct feeling that I would get nothing but a lecture from her so I sat there, on my own, trying to put together my master plan. I lovingly titled it Operation: Get Bob.

Now, I don't know why I started thinking of her as Bob. For some reason, in my sick little mind, it seemed to fit. So she became Bob. Just as a side bit of information here, I am the only one in the world allowed to call her Bob. She won't even allow Draco to address her that way. That is my pet name for her. But I'm getting way ahead of myself.

The next day, as soon as breakfast was over, my very first class was Double Potions. Now normally my reaction would have been one of horror. Starting my day, my week and my year with Snape of all people, but, I knew that there was the distinct possibility that Bob would be in potions as well. Being in seventh year, the classes were divided. One had to be accepted into seventh year potions. Not that I was having a love affair with Snape or anything, but I wanted to go into Auror training when I left school and seventh year potions was a prerequisite to get into the program. So I tried out for and was accepted into (Much to the potion master's chagrin I imagine) seventh year potions.

Now at this point in my narration, I would like to interject that Snape, in all of his however many years, has never dealt with teenage young men and their hormones. At least that is what it seemed like to me, because the very first thing he did was pair me up with Bob. "Miss. Malfoy, I am certain that with your excellent potion making skills, you will be able to assist Mr. Potter and keep him from blowing up my dungeons."

I remember glaring at him at that point. One little explosion and he never lets me forget it. All right maybe it wasn't a little explosion. But it only collapsed part of the room. And in my defense, dried mugwart root looks amazingly like withered venomous tentacula leaves.

Anyway, so I was paired up with the one person in the world that I wanted to be with. You would think that that was a good thing, right? Well, I am sorry to report that you would be wrong. I was taken so much by surprise that I was all thumbs. I would like to interject here that being all thumbs in Professor Severus Snape's potions class is not in any way shape or form a good thing.

Have you ever been drunk? When you are drunk you envision yourself as being the most suave, debonair and together young gentleman and you just know that you are going to sweep the young lady off of her feet. In reality, you stumble and slur and just generally make yourself a pain in the arse. Being paired up with Bob in potions was like being drunk. Can I just say that it did not go well and leave it at that? We ended up with detention that evening. Normally, that would not have been a good thing but, in between the end of potions class and 8:00 p.m. when the detention was to start, I gave myself a good talking too. "Harry" I scolded myself, "What is the point in acting like a clumsy buffoon. You approach this girl with confidence or I'm going to kick your arse!" So when I came to the potions room that evening, I took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

She was there, in all of her Slytherin glory; hair pulled back in a ponytail and sporting a baseball cap, a t-shirt and jeans. As I entered she glowered at me. "Way to go idiot. I had a date tonight!"

Secretly, I cheered. One down I thought, only 999,999 to go. On the outside though, I carefully put on my 'I-am-so-sorry-that-I-got-you-into-this' look. "Please forgive me, I wasn't myself this morning. How can I make it up to you?"

She looked at me for a long moment. I don't know how I stood there and just let her study me without reaching out and running a loose silky curl between my fingers, but I managed it. "Well, you can start by helping me get this potion right so that we can get out of here. I nodded and started gathering the ingredients we needed to make the strengthening potion.

We worked in silence for a long time then I decided to take the plunge. "So you're a Malfoy?" Ok, not the smoothest of opening lines I know, but in a pinch...

She just looked at me like I had two heads "Yeah, what of it."

Well, that wasn't the best response I thought, but still it was something, "Nothing, just making conversation. Pass the vampire bat blood please." Inwardly I groaned, nothing says love like Vampire bat blood. Sheeze! Every time I think of that I just have to roll my eyes at my own stupidity. Then I was scrambling for something a little more intelligent to say. "My name is Harry, affectionately known as idiot!" Then I smiled and held my hand out to her. She looked at it as if it would bite her. "It won't bite, honestly, it's just a hand."

When she smiled and shook my hand. I knew that I could die a happy man. "Roberta Malfoy and yes I am related to Dray. I'm his cousin."

Then I winked at her "Well, I'm sure you are nice anyway. You can't help who your family is." She looked shocked and then started laughing. "Do you always insult someone's family by way of introduction?" Well, she had me there. That probably wasn't the smartest thing I could have said, but in for a sickle in for a galleon I always say. "No not really, just where...what did you call him...Dray, just where Dray is concerned."

"He doesn't much like you either." She smirked.

No surprises there I thought. "Yeah we haven't been what you would call friendly."

Then she laughed again. We could have been talking about the Black Plague and I would have done anything to make her laugh again. The sound of it flowed across my nerve endings like heavy cream. "Friendly? More like it is an effort for him not to kill you when you are in the same room."

I chuckled. "Yeah, well we have this little Quidditch thing going. He can't beat me and it is killing him." I watched her add a pickled frog spleen to the cauldron. Her fingers were long and supple looking and I longed to take them in my hands and spread kisses across her palms. I became lost in this thought. It was a wonderful 30 seconds.

"Hey, are you still with me?" She brought me out of my daydream and I hurried to redeem myself. "Sure, I was just wondering if frog spleen was supposed to go in before the Warpwood Powder." I kept my voice low and what I hoped was seductive.

Then she did it. The move! The one I have come to cherish...and hate. She stepped closer and closed her eyes half way and ever so slowly ran her tongue across her upper lip. "Yes." Her voice was low and sultry and reminded me of warm spring breeze blowing across a field of flowers. "But you need to add the newt liver essence one...drop...at a...time." By this time she was so close to me that I could feel her breath warm my lips. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. 'Steady man' I schooled myself.

If I may interject here, it was all I could do to keep my arms at my side. Some where in the back of my mind, I knew that she was teasing me, testing me if you will, and Harry Potter was not going to be made a fool of. So I did the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and mind you that I had just recently defeated the Dark Lord, I stepped back and smiled at her. "It's a good thing you are here. I'd have botched this up royally." Then I turned my back to her. This had a dual effect. It gave me a minute to calm myself and breathe and it gave her a moment of frustration. Score one for the Boy who lived!

We continued working on the potion in relative silence. I noticed her studying me with confusion on her lovely face. Then she straightened her shoulders and looked at me. "Are you gay?"

I sputtered in disbelief. Had I been drinking something, I would have done the cliché spit-take. "What did you ask me?"

"I asked you if you were gay."

"Not in the least. You like to go for the shockers don't you?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Why beat around the bush. If you want to know something, ask!"

The only intelligent thing I could think to say was "Oh." Then there was silence again. This time I broke it. "Just out of curiosity, may I ask why you thought I was gay?"

She looked a bit flustered at this. Good, I thought. Keep her off balance.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess it's because you are pretty, in a disheveled sort of way."

Now this was the last thing I expected, pretty? PRETTY? I would have preferred devilishly handsome, or stunning, or hunk, but pretty? When I spoke, it was in a very unenthusiastic voice. "Pretty hum?" the disgust must have shown on my face because she laughed. "I just call them as I see them Potter."

I smirked at her and laughed outright. "Well, let me tell you how I see it! You thought I was gay because I didn't try to kiss you. You know it's true. Admit it."

Her eyes sparkled. "When did you want to kiss me Harry?" She said my name in a low breathy, seductive way and it made the hairs on my arms stand on end with the thrill of it. I stepped closer to her, my lips so close to hers that I could almost taste the tea she had at dinner and in the same breathy voice that she had used, I murmured "And what makes you think that I wanted to kiss you, Bob."

The look on her face was priceless. I would have given anything to have a camera. She took a step back from me and tried to speak a couple of times but then closed her mouth again. Then finally she found her voice. "What did you call me?"

I smiled as I siphoned a portion of the potion into a vial that was labeled with our names on it. "I called you, Bob! You know, short for Roberta." She gritted her teeth, "don't call me that." Then I turned to her. "Oh? Then what should I call you?" She slammed a book down onto the table and looked at me with steam practically coming out of her ears. "Don't call me anything. Don't even talk to me."

I think I made her even madder when I had the gall to not look a bit flustered but only shrugged my shoulders and responded "fine." And the Oscar goes too Harry Potter for 'Man without a Brain.'

I don't know how I got back to my Dorm Room. I don't remember the journey at all. I only remember thinking 'Stupid, stupid, stupid" I should have gotten down on my knees and begged her forgiveness.

Two days later, two pain filled, heart-wrenching days later, Malfoy cornered me, (Draco not Bob). He pushed me up against the wall and put an arm across my throat. "What did you do to Roberta, Potter?"

Now, I had always thought of Malfoy as an intelligent human being, a giant git maybe, but intelligent none the less. I suppose that when a family member is concerned, you tend to loose what intelligence you have acquired over the years. At least that seemed to be the case here. He didn't realize that with his elbow crushing my windpipe that it might be the tiniest bit difficult for me to answer him. "Well? Potty?"

At this point it was either get him off of me, or pass out. Potters do not pass out. I've been through a lot worse and didn't pass out. Unfortunately, I felt myself passing out. I couldn't pry myself away from that pressure. Finally the voice of reason spoke. I'm not sure, but I think it came in the form of Pansy. "Draco darling, you are going to kill him. I know you want to, but in this case maybe you should let him breathe. You'll never get an answer out of him this way."

I could see it in his eyes. He didn't want to let me go, but he reluctantly took a step back and let me collapse on the stone floor in the corridor. That smirk, how I wished that I could just wipe it off his face. Slowly I stood and faced him. "Damn Malfoy! What was that for?"

"Like I said, I want to know what you did to Roberta."

"I didn't do anything to her."

"Tut tut Potter, Gryffindor aren't supposed to lie. You must have done something; she is moping around the common room like some kind of zombie.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a bell went off. I tried...so help me I tried to keep the smile off of my face, but it just wouldn't stay in its proper place. Well, proper for being confronted by an angry family member in any case, "really?"

That was the last thing I knew. I woke up in the hospital wing and hour later. Really, some people are just so touchy. Madam Pomfrey healed my broken rib and my split lip. She also gave me a cold compress for the black eye. Ok, something to keep in the memory vault, Malfoy is touchy when it comes to Bob.

Normally, I would have given him a run for his money, but circumstances being what they were, I was just a little distracted. That is the only way that he could have gotten the better of me.

Ron and Hermione walked me back to Gryffindor tower after Madam Pomfrey gave the all clear, "what happened, Harry?" Hermione was her usual concerned, over motherly self. "I'd like to beat that bloody wanker to a pulp." That was Ron, need you ask? I just smiled at both of them then looked at Ron. I knew he would understand. "She's obsessing over me!" Ron's only response was an unsure smile. He was having a difficult time getting past the fact that she was both a Malfoy and a Slytherin.

All right, truth be told, I didn't know for sure that she was obsessing over me. All I had to go on was Malfoy's word, which was questionable in the best of times. Still, he was upset about something and I prefer to think that I had a great deal to do with that, and that it concerned Bob. So for maximum effect I preferred to use those particular words. So sue me!

* * *

The middle of September brought the return of Quidditch. Now, I love Quidditch! I love everything about it. I love the teamwork. I love the freedom I get when I am flying. I love the exhilaration of catching the snitch. But do you want to know my favorite thing about the game? It's beating Malfoy! Every time I get to that little golden ball ahead of him I...well, I can't think of anything better. Well, maybe Bob! No! There's no maybe about it. Bob is definitely better. But I can get to him there too. So it's all good. Don't tell her I said that.

I had just sent my team to the showers after a two and a half-hour practice session, but I decided to get in a little snitch time. You see, while I am out on the pitch with my team, I need to direct them and I don't get to work on my own skills. Ah, the trials of being team captain; I love it! I threw the snitch over my shoulder and gave it a minute to get away before I turned and took to the sky. I flew all over the pitch, half -heartedly searching for the little golden ball. If I were to be completely honest with you, I would have to admit that my thoughts were centered on one gorgeous Slytherin, her, and the fact that I was enjoying the solitude. Sometimes, being the Boy-who-Lived was a general pain in the arse.

It was only when the snitch fluttered in front of my eyes that I remembered what I was doing. It sped by me and I took off after it. The little bugger seemed to be getting me back for ignoring it for so long. It led me on a merry chase, sometimes diving straight down forcing me to pull up just before hitting the ground. Other times weaving in and out of the goal posts. But always I kept it in sight. No thoughts in my head but catch the snitch. That was my mistake I guess. I was inches away from catching the snitch when it happened.

Have you ever seen the muggle movie JAWS? It's about a big shark. Anyway, when you see that black fin break the surface of the water, you just know that something terrible is going to happen. That is the closest I can come to expressing the feeling when out of no where, a hand comes up from in front of and below me to reach up and snatch my prize away. I had to pull up suddenly to avoid a mid-air collision and swore at the person that had the gall to interrupt my practice.

When we both landed on the ground, I threw my broom down and stormed over to the idiot. "What in the name of Merlin's Ball's are you doing? You could have killed both of us."

I was stopped dead in my tracks when I realized who it was. "Bob!" I was shocked to say the least, but to my credit I recovered quickly. I stopped yelling, but I approached her with narrowed eyes and just looked at her before I spoke. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Surely, Potter, you can handle a mere girl trying to get the snitch. And don't call me Bob."

"I don't care if you are a big purple dinosaur named Barney, (I really have to stop watching muggle TV during my summer hols.) I can beat anyone to the snitch. Even a mere girl named Bob!"

She narrowed her eyes at me, which made me want to melt in a puddle at her feet. But I stood my ground. Now, to this day, I am still not sure if sticking to my plan was a good thing at this point. Acting indifferently toward her was proving to be more and more difficult. And my decision to stick with the plan got me into a very embarrassing situation.

Her eyes twinkled at this point and inwardly I groaned. Outwardly I wondered what in Merlin's name she was up to. "What?"

She stepped closer to me and in that seductive voice that generally turns me into a puddle of goo she said "Wanna bet?"

Bet? What did she mean bet? I had to search my limited vocabulary for that word, mainly because my powers of intelligent conversation left me when I was within a two foot radius of her. "Yeah, bet." It came out in kind of a choked whisper.

She stepped away and my powers of cognition seemed to return. "Are you sure Potter, even Dray can't beat me."

I remember smirking. "That's not saying much you know. Yeah, I want to bet. I will get to the snitch before you do. What am I going to win when I do?"

The she stepped close to me again. "I don't know, what do you want Harry?"

Oh...that was a dangerous question. What did I want? I wanted to run naked through a field of wild flowers with her and discover the wonder that was Bob. I wanted to run away and live in a secluded little cabin with her for the remaining days of my life. I wanted to grow old with her in my arms. I wanted to beat her to that damned snitch and wipe that smug look off of her face. "I want you to wear Gryffindor colors at the next Quidditch match."

She looked horrified at the thought, but only for a moment. Then that confident smirk was back. "And when I win, I want you to dance on the Slytherin table, wearing black leather slacks and a silk shirt. And I want you to sing "Somebody to Love!"

I laughed, "You've put some thought into this."

"Quit stalling Harry, do you accept my terms?" She said my name again in that low seductive way that I have come to love.

"Alright, I accept the terms. Don't know the song but I doubt that that is going to be a problem since I am going to win the bet."

*sigh* I lost the bet. I have never seen anyone fly like her. I went to the Quidditch world cup and have never seen anyone fly like her. She was poetry in motion; grace purified...a pain in the arse! I could say that I held back, or that I let her win. No, I wasn't that much of a gentleman. I wanted to win that bet; not only to see her sporting my colors at the next match, but I knew that dancing on the Slytherin table not conducive to a long and happy life.

I looked at her. The smirk was wider than ever on her lovely face. I floundered around for a way to save face. "Huh...how about double or nothing?"

She shook her head and her curls danced around her shoulders. "Nope, it's time for dinner. Victory always makes me famished. I'll even give you time to learn the song. Say a week from today? And don't forget the leather pants." Then she walked away from me and toward the castle. And I just stood there and watched her go. Where the hell am I going to get leather pants?"

I trailed after her and went to Gryffindor Tower. I showered and then went to the Great Hall. Dinner was already in progress. I sat down next to Hermione. She had her nose in a book as usual; Ron had his nose in his plate. I cleared my throat. "Ah, Mione can I interrupt for a minute?"

She smiled "Sure Harry, what's up?"

"I need you to do a little research for me. I need you to find me a song..." I didn't explain the reasons behind my request but I knew that she would do it for me. After dinner, I went to the owlery and jotted a quick note off to Charlie. If anyone had access to leather pants it was him. So with those two things taken care of I tried to concentrate on more important things. Like finding a burial plot, because when I dance on the Slytherin table there will be hell to pay.

Have you ever noticed that when you are anticipating a wonderful thing to happen that the time seems to stand still? Let's just say that the following week had the wings of Mercury attached. Saturday came again, all too quickly. I don't think that I remembered one thing from my classes. Except for potions! Double Potions, was to say the least, painful, because I had to endure Bob's looks of superiority. I never let it show on the outside that this whole thing was killing me; in fact I would smile at her before returning to my potion; on the inside though I was screaming.

So, Saturday evening at dinner I just pushed my food around my plate and Mione was looking at me concerned. "Harry, what's up? Aren't you feeling well?" I looked up and saw that Bob was staring at me expectantly. "Yes Mione, I'm fine. Excuse me a minute will you?" I stood up and took my school robe off and laid it on the bench. Underneath I was sporting my new black leather pants, a white silk shirt that was unbuttoned half way, some black leather boots (Charlie sent them as well. After reading my note about what was going on, he said that if I was going to do it, I should do it right.)

I strutted up to the front of the room with a heck of a lot more confidence than I felt. There were catcalls and whistles from some of the students noting my attire. I thought McGonagall was going to have kittens (pun intended), but I did my best to ignore all of the teachers at the head table and proceeded to the front of the Slytherin table. I flicked my wand and the music started and I stepped onto the bench and up onto the table. When I cast the spell for the music, I included the background singers. Hey, if you're going to make a fool of yourself, you might as well do it with style, right? And I had the feeling that I was making the biggest clown of myself that anyone had ever seen within the walls of this hallowed institution.

When I started in I kept my eyes only on Bob. This was her song.

Can anybody find me somebody to love

Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry)

Lord what you're doing to me (yeah yeah)

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Somebody (Somebody) ooh somebody (Somebody)

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

The Slytherins were jeering and yelling for me to get off their table and to shut up. Malfoy on the other hand looked murderous. He kept glancing at me then at Bob and back again. She was laughing too, but her eyes held mine as I sang.

Yeah

I work hard (he works hard) every day of my life

I work till I ache in my bones

At the end (at the end of the day)

I take home my hard earned pay all on my own

I get down (down) on my knees (knees)

And I start to pray

Till the tears run down from my eyes

Lord somebody (somebody), ooh somebody

(Please) Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I chanced a look over at the Gryffindor table, and saw Mione sitting with her mouth open, and Ron mid-bite. By now, everyone was laughing, even some of the Slytherins. As I executed a particularly provocative move, I saw Draco stand up and glare at me. "Get off of my table Potter! I have to eat here."

(He works hard)

Everyday (everyday) - I try and I try and I try

But everybody wants to put me down

They say I'm going crazy

They say I got a lot of water in my brain

Ah, got no common sense

I got nobody left to believe in

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

I heard someone yell, "I'll say you have water on the brain." Then that unforgettable voice "I'm gonna' kill him." And I saw Draco Malfoy start get on the table to come after me, but Zabini, of all people, pulled him back.

Oh Lord

Ooh somebody - ooh somebody

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm

I just keep losing my beat (You just keep losing and losing)

I'm OK, I'm alright (he's alright -he's alright)

I ain't gonna face no defeat (yeah yeah)

I just gotta get out of this prison cell

One day I'm gonna be free, Lord!

I walked down the table and stood there in front of Bob. I stepped down on the bench (accidentally pushing Draco *smile* ) then down to the floor again. I took Bob by the hand and helped her up. Then put an arm around her waist and pulled her close, then began to dance with her.

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love love love

Find me somebody to love

Find me somebody to love somebody somebody somebody somebody

Somebody find me

Somebody find me somebody to love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I twirled her and ended with a dip. Our lips were close. All I had to do was move my mouth slightly and we would have been kissing. Our foreheads were touching, our noses were touching. And suddenly there was no one in the room except her and I. I no longer heard the catcalls and snide remarks.

(Find me somebody to love)

ooh

(Find me somebody to love)

Find me somebody, somebody (Find me somebody to love) somebody to love

(Find me somebody to love)

Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me

Ooh - somebody to love

(Find me somebody to love)

Find me somebody to love)

Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love !

Wooo somebody find me, find me love.

This last was finished so low that only she could hear me. I didn't notice when the music stopped. To tell you the truth, I didn't care.

"Is the bet paid in full?"

She smiled and my heart skipped a beat. "It'll do. Are all Gryffindor so thorough?"

"Of course, if you have to do something, why do it half way?" I put my hand in her hair. I was going to do it this time. I was going to kiss her.

"Don't you dare Potter!"

I had the urge to kill. I was literally going to tear him limb from limb. Then I saw her face. She wasn't far away from me in the urge to maim category. I decided that the best thing to do would be to let her handle Draco Malfoy. So I shrugged and looked deeply into her eyes. "You heard the man." I took a step back, turned and walked out of the Great Hall and straight to Gryffindor Tower.

It wasn't too long before Ron and Hermione staggered through the portrait hole. I say staggered because they were laughing so hard that they could hardly walk and they both had tears in their eyes and were holding their sides.

You know how infectious laughter is. Before long they had me laughing without knowing what was so funny. Finally, Mione was able to tone it down to giggles. At least enough to tell me what had happened after I left the Great Hall.

"Oh Harry, you missed it! After you left...(another fit of laughter)...Roberta was...was so angry...she started beating him around the head and yelling at him to stay out of her life." This is where Ron took up the story because she was again laughing so hard. "She picked up a bowl of peas and dumped them on his head. Then she stormed out of the room. The entire Great Hall was laughing so hard that Malfoy turned about ten shades of red and ran out of the room."

Ron was still laughing but looked at me surprised. "You know, that was some show you put on. What was that all about?"

I only shrugged "I lost a bet."

"That must have been some bet! Where'd you get those pants?"

"Charlie, where else!"

By now Mione was trying her hardest to calm down. It was difficult for her. "You know Harry, Malfoy is going to be after you now. *Giggle* You had better be on your guard!"

I quickly searched back through my time at Hogwarts and tried to find a time that I didn't have to be on my guard with Malfoy. I didn't say anything though. "I'll be careful Mione."