Useless

She was rather surprised to discover that Pansy had a pleasant side. Pansy was actually approachable, was a pleasure to be with, was able to argue back with her.

Pansy was pretty. Pansy was smart. Pansy was *nice*.

They met again, for the first time at The Leaky Cauldron, right before school started. Hermione was there for a meal, and was surprised to discover Pansy. Working there. As a volunteer, no less.

Pansy had been amiable to Hermione, even to the point of offering to buy them both ice cream at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.

They never got there. Instead, Hermione got routed at Flourish & Blott's by the latest bestseller -- some sappy romance novel -- and then had gotten herself stuck between the endless aisles of dusty bookcases.

Pansy kissed her then. Kissed her with her back pressed to the ancient books, moaning as Pansy's lips traveled down to her neck.

And then Hermione had pushed Pansy away and run. She didn't trust Pansy one bit, shouldn't have for even a moment. Or maybe she didn't trust herself.

Hermione hated discovering things that weren't covered in books.

And they'd played a game of cat and mouse, with Pansy finally giving up, and as soon as Hermione heard Pansy's steps fade away on the stairwell, she darted out and up, and then they were walking back to the Leaky Cauldron as if nothing ever happened.

They said nothing. Hermione didn't even dare to ask about the forgotten ice-cream.

Just one day spent with a pleasant Pansy. They never had another.

---

Pansy is mean to her again during the school year. She makes her snide and scathing remarks, and smirks at the trio, and is spiteful, even more so, than last year. And yet her eyes are empty of hate, though Hermione can't see it, because after all, she's not good at discovering things that aren't covered in books.

So Hermione wonders about Pansy and decides that she can't figure out Pansy. Maybe she doesn't want to.

Except that Hermione is wondering about Pansy every day, and it frustrates her to no end. Maybe because she doesn't like not knowing everything either.

So she resolves to confront Pansy one day and she does, right before dinner. She corners Pansy in one of the hallways in the dungeon and starts screeching at her, loud enough for a few people to turn their heads. But they start walking away soon enough, because after all, it's just another heated Gryffindor-Slytherin quarrel.

Pansy just walks away from her. Hermione first stands in shock, then insulted, runs after Pansy.

She finds herself in one of the numerous empty classrooms.

Pansy is just standing there, the sallow light highlighting her blond hair. She turns around the moment Hermione enters the room though. The door is closed with a soft click behind her.

And everything is silent for a moment. There is nothing else. Just Hermione and Pansy. Everything is frozen in the soft dusty golden light.

Pansy opens her sharp-tongued mouth first and utters two words Hermione would never think of hearing from a Slytherin, especially in such earnest.

"I'm sorry."

And then Pansy is walking towards Hermione, and Hermione thinks Pansy is going to kiss her, but instead Pansy brushes past her shoulder and continues on to the door.

And Hermione is panicking because this isn't the way it's supposed to happen in romance novels and frustrated because she hasn't gotten an answer she's satisfied with, though she's not sure she wants it.

And so Hermione runs over and grabs Pansy, and Pansy turns around and watches her with troubled eyes. And Hermione is at a loss for words because Pansy's eyes are blue, a deep beautiful ocean blue that simply can't belong to a Slytherin, she thinks. Except they do, and so finally Hermione blurts out, "Why?"

Pansy is smarter than Hermione in some respects. She understands people, knows how to use them, when required anyway. This one she doesn't want to use. And so she pushes her forehead against Hermione's, eyes closed, and then pulls away, smiling bitterly.

"Because I love Draco Malfoy more."

Later Hermione will spend the time to mull over the words and realize that Pansy does indeed love her, but rational thought has fled her mind at the time. All she can feel is the pain and anger of rejection, and so she slams the petite blond against a desk and starts kissing her fiercely, on the lips, on the cheek, on the nose. Nibbles on her earlobe, bites her on the neck, kisses her collarbone. And she's crying all the while. And Pansy just lets her have her way, kissing away her tears before they drop.

And the next morning it's over.

Lavender and Parvati ask her where she's been, and she says nothing, just gives a tired smile, and they nod sagely and whisper to each other and giggle. Probably conjuring up some rumor about her. She doesn't care; they can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't disturb her. It can't be any worse than Rita Skeeter, at any rate.

At breakfast, she pretends to be disgusted with some other antic of Malfoy, but in reality is looking only at the blonde sitting next to him. Pansy turns her head for a moment, looking in Malfoy's direction, and locks eyes with Hermione. She tilts her head and raises her glass to her lips. Hermione mimics her. And then she is gone again, laughing with Malfoy, and all Hermione can see is the back of her head.

Hermione is sure that once upon a time Pansy loved her more. Except Hermione was ignorant, and so she lost Pansy.

But Hermione doesn't like knowing these things, and anyway, it is too late now.

And so Pansy is happy, at least marginally, with Malfoy, and all Hermione is left with is a dream of summer and an empty classroom with Pansy.

And a never-ending stream of useless knowledge, useless dreams, and tears.

Useless tears.