Sister Of My Heart

Journal entry: October 31, 1995 - Hallowe'en

Fourteen years. I can't believe it. Fourteen years to the day since the

defeat of Voldemort. I look outside my window and see the Muggle children

in their costumes, trick or treating. And inside their homes, concealed from

those Muggles, young witches and wizards are celebrating with their parents

and families, reminding themselves of why this night is so important. Even

when rumors abound about the return of the Dark Lord, we continue to

celebrate....knowing that if he was defeated once, by a little boy, he can

be again.

Yet here I sit, with the curtains drawn, sitting at my desk, writing in this

journal and avoiding the festivities. After all these years, Hallowe'en is

no longer a time of joy for me.

How can it be when you're not here to share it with me?

Every day, there is something to think about, something to remember. Our

first day at Hogwarts...standing among the other first years, terrified,

staring around at the sea of unfamiliar faces....but we were put into

Gryffindor house, those that would become our new family. Though were we

only ten years old, we had already noticed that there were some cute boys in

our house....we were quite a pair.

Ah, second year Charms class....remember when we got our first really good

glance at James Potter and Sirius Black? Two years ahead of us, they were.

The two of them came in to ask a question, and you missed the candle you

were supposed to be lighting, setting fire to my hair instead. Amelia

Longbottom ragged me for days, and even James and Sirius's friend Remus

joined in the teasing. But I got my revenge....I'll never forget your face

when I sent that phony letter to James, and he caught you with a faceful of

Victorian Priciples' Blemish Blotter.....

We were all thick as theives after that. I think we were responsible for

every gray hair on Ogg the gamekeeper's head...though there had been a rumor

about Arthur Weasley and centaur races...playing chess with Peter, cheering

James on during the Quidditch games....keeping Sirius from being hexed by

Severus...I miss all that. And I wonder still how we all managed to graduate

on time, without being expelled by Dumbledore. How many times did you sneak

out with James under that invisibility cloak, Lily? Thank goodness you two

decided to get married...

I remember the day Harry was born. I think James had worse contractions than

you did. And Harry...he was the sweetest thing, even screaming at the top of

his lungs....the image of James, but those green eyes were all yours. And

you asked Sirius and I to be godparents. That was the most incredible

day.....never did any of us suspect that those happy times would end so

suddenly.

I was away that Hallowe'en night, visiting my parents, when the news

came....Voldemort had been vanquished! We all joined in the cheers, sending

out owls to spread the news, until the details the came through from Remus.

Yes, Voldemort was gone; but he had taken you and James with him. We may not

have been joined by blood, Lily....but we were sisters of the heart. And

half of my heart was suddenly gone.

Oh, how I argued with Dumbledore that next week....Sirius, unbelievably, was

in Azkaban....Peter was dead....I wanted Harry with me. He was mine now,

with you and James dead...but he wanted Harry to stay with your sister and

her family, where he would be safe from anyone still on the side of the Dark

Lord. There was nothing left....nothing for me to hold on to....only

memories, and what good were those?

I'm ashamed to say that I've shunned most of the wizarding world,

Lily...most of our friends died during Voldemort's reign, and those who were

left I no kept in contact with...not even Remus. I went nowhere, saw no one,

buried myself in my work and my darkness....

But now, as I listen to the sounds of the children laughing outside...read

and reread a letter I received from Dumbledore only hours ago....I finally

see a bit of light...I have to move ahead, Lily. But I'll not forget....I'll

not forget you, Lily....

Sister of my heart, it is time to step back into the light.

Always,

Dani