Godsend

AN: Warning: Self-abuse.

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"Now, don't panic, because -"

"NOT PANIC? YOU JUST TOLD ME I'M GOING TO DIE! HOW CAN I NOT PANIC, SIRIUS?" Harry half bellowed, half cried.

Harry sank to the floor and put his face in his hands.

"How do you know I'm dying?"

Sirius raised Harry's face up to meet his eyes.

"I didn't say you are going to die, but I fear that you do have internal bleeding," Sirius replied fearfully.

Harry's eyes widened.

"In- internal bleeding?" he whispered dreadfully. "So... something's broken inside me, and I might die from it?" Harry's breathing quickened and he couldn't seem to slow down and take deep breaths.

"Harry, calm down! I was wrong, ok?" Sirius lied, trying to keep Harry's fever under control. "I was wrong! You're going to be ok."

Harry looked up at Sirius again and shook his head.

"No. You're not telling the truth," he said, standing up quickly and headed toward the door. "If I'm going to die anyways, I might as well do it myself."

Sirius didn't know what Harry meant, but he knew it couldn't be good. He got up and made to follow him, but Harry suddenly wrenched open the door and ran out into the hall.

"Where are you going? Don't try anything, you're delirious," Sirius yelled after him.

"No! It's useless, Sirius. I with they killed me when they had the chance," Harry shouted from the end of the hallway.

Sirius ran after him, but Harry slammed the bathroom door closed and locked it.

"Harry, open the door! What are you going to do? Harry!" Sirius yelled as he pounded on the door.

He could hear things being moved around; Harry was looking for something.

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Gasping for breath, Harry sat down on the toilet seat and clutched his aching ribs. After his breathing slowed down, Harry started opening various cupboards, looking for that small piece of metal that would put him out of his misery.

After searching a cabinet in the corner and ignoring Sirius' yells coming from the other side of the door, Harry found an unused razor.

He raised his right hand, holding the razor, to his left wrist and pressed it hard into the sensitive inner flesh. Harry gasped at the stinging sensation and looked at the blood that ran down his arm. It wasn't enough, Harry decided, so he swiped the razor over his wrist again.

Harry soon had a small puddle of blood pooled around his feet, along with his left forearm and wrist bleeding like mad.

His vision was getting a bit woozy by now, so Harry leaned against the wall for support, put the razor into his bloody hand, and raised it to his other wrist.

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Sirius couldn't hear any sound coming from inside the bathroom anymore. He stopped trying to break the door down and listened. Faintly, he could hear heavy breathing.

He backed away from the door, turned so that his shoulder was pointed at the wood, and slammed into it with all his strength.

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Harry just heard a loud crack of splintering wood before he passed out from blood loss. His hand went down the white wall, leaving a thick red trail.

Sirius stopped dead at the sight before him. Harry was slumped on the floor in the middle or a rather large puddle of blood.

Cautiously, he approached the unmoving figure and turned him over.

"Oh, Harry..."

With mild effort, Sirius managed to lift Harry into his arms and carry him all the way down the stairs and into his spacious living room.

Sirius laid Harry down on the couch and tore off a piece of his shirt and used it to bandage his raw wrist. After that was done, Sirius walked to the old fireplace and lit a fire.

He grabbed a handful of floo powder and stooped down, throwing it into the flames. The fire glowed emerald green. Sirius put his head in and bellowed the desired destination.

In a few seconds, he saw table legs obstructing his view.

"Dumbledore! Dumbledore, it's Sirius. Are you here?"

He heard a scuffling of feet as the aging old man rushed to the hearth.

"Sirius! I'm glad you called. How is Harry?"

Dumbledore leaned closer as Sirius spoke.

"He seemed to be doing ok, but he has internal bleeding, and he's unconscious right now, and-"

Sirius stopped talking with a wave of Dumbledore's hand.

"How long has he been unconscious?" he murmured.

Sirius thought.

"About five minutes now," he replied worriedly.

Dumbledore furrowed his brow.

"Then you have to be quick. You have the ingredients for the Altheas Potion, correct?"

Sirius nodded.

"Brew it quickly," Dumbledore began seriously, "and have Harry drink two gobletfuls of it when he wakes up every four hours, and report back to me after two days. Tell me if there has been improvement or if he's gotten worse. If my calculations are right, Harry should have a high fever in 16 hours. The higher the better."

"Thank you," Sirius called as he pulled his head out of the fireplace.

Harry was still unmoving on the couch, so Sirius swiftly went to the kitchen and gathered the potion ingredients that would hopefully save Harry's life.

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After the potion was brewed, Sirius went back into the living room and began cleaning up Harry's new cuts.

Harry winced as Sirius wiped away the dried blood, but Sirius was glad he didn't see new blood forming at Harry's wrists.

Sirius picked up Harry's hand and clasped it in both of his.

"Oh, Harry... you didn't have to do this," Sirius whispered as he ran his thumb over Harry's hand.

Sirius promised that if anyone tried to keep him away from Harry, he'd do everything in his power to get to him.

Harry stirred a little and opened his eyes halfway. He looked at Sirius, not saying anything.

"You alright?"

Sirius' words were so gentle and caring that Harry was feeling guilty for doing what he just did.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "It's just that..." he trailed off, looking absolutely miserable.

Sirius took a moment to survey Harry. With that mop of black hair and those watery green eyes, he looked so innocent.

"Am I going to die?"

Sirius shook himself out of his thoughts and replied,"No, you'll be ok. I spoke to Dumbledore a few moments ago. He told me you'd have to drink a potion as soon as you regained consciousness. I'll go get it."

Sirius stood up, and it was only then that both wizards realized that they were still holding hands.

Harry didn't let go immediately, but as a blush crept up Sirius' face, he let go slowly and let his hand drop by his side onto the couch.

Sirius went into the kitchen and almost contemplated jumping out the window. He shouldn't be having these feelings for Harry, damn it! Especially at a time like this, Sirius thought. But even as these thoughts ran through his mind, he looked at his hand where Harry had been touching it a moment before. It seemed to tingle...

"Merlin, what's wrong with me?" Sirius muttered as he filled up a goblet of the foul smelling potion.

He brought it back to Harry, who smelled it and wrinkled up his nose in disgust.

"I don't want it, it smells foul," Harry complained, gagging at the smell.

Sirius rolled his eyes and put his hand behind Harry's neck to support him as he drank.

"Harry, this is no time for humor," Sirius said firmly.

He pressed the rim of the goblet to Harry's lips and watched as he drank the grimy liquid down.

Harry coughed and said, "That tastes horrible. Do I have to drink more?"

Sirius nodded sympathetically and went back to refill the goblet.

Harry sat up and took it into his hands. After downing it, he asked, "How often do I have to drink it?"

"Dumbledore told me to give it to you every four hours for two days, then to check with him."

Harry sighed and leaned back against the arm of the couch. He sat there for a moment, just thinking, before an idea struck him.

"Sirius," Harry began slowly. "Do you have any broomsticks?"

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"This isn't a good idea, Harry," Sirius called out as he brought out two old Shooting Stars. "I'm beginning to think the injury has gone to your head."

"Oh, come on, Sirius! I won't fall," Harry said excitedly as he grabbed a broom out of Sirius' hand.

"No, that's not what worries me... it's - well, won't it hurt for you to sit on a broom?"

Harry rolled his eyes and mounted the broom. He hovered a few feet of the ground and smiled.

"It doesn't hurt at all, only if I lean back like this..."

Harry leaned back and winced.

"You sure you want to fly around?" Sirius asked as a last attempt.

"Yes, Sirius, I'm sure," Harry said. "I'll go mad if I have to stay in bed all day. Please?"

"Come on then, let's go outside," Sirius said as he headed toward the back of the house.

Harry followed, gliding along on his broom behind Sirius. As soon as he opened the back door, revealing a rather large field surrounded by tall trees, Harry sped out the entrance with a whoop of joy.

Sirius quickly mounted his own broom and followed. He watched as Harry did a few twists and turns in the air and realized just how much he was like James.

Harry stopped, looked round at Sirius, and sped towards him.

Sirius saw that up close, his cheeks were red from the wind, but Harry didn't seem to mind.

"Were you on the quiddich team for Gryffindor?"

"Yeah, I was a chaser. And I was pretty damn good, if do I say so myself," Sirius chuckled.

Harry rolled his eyes jokingly and said, "D'you fancy a race?"

"You're on."

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"That was the most fun I've had in a while," Sirius laughed as he and Harry plopped down on the couch.

Harry nodded and replied, "Me too. We should do this again sometime."

Sirius looked at the clock and said, "It's time you have your potion again. I can't believe we've been outside four hours."

"Alright, but would you mind if we ate something as well? I'm getting a bit hungry again," Harry commented.

"Of course. Let's go in the kitchen and see what we have," Sirius said.

Harry made to get up, but a sharp pain cut across his left side and he stifled a moan of pain just as Sirius turned around.

"What's wrong? It's your ribs again, isn't it? I knew we shouldn't have gone on those broomsticks," Sirius said as he slid his arm around Harry's waist.

Harry put his arm around Sirius' neck and replied, "You worry too much, Sirius. It's just one rib now, I think. The rest have healed."

They hobbled into the kitchen where Sirius sat Harry down on a chair.

"I'm going to need to check your cuts and bruises again as well," Sirius called from the other side of the room where he was rummaging through the pantry.

After Sirius found bread and some turkey, he and Harry spent the afternoon eating, talking, and sharing laughs.

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"I need to shower," Harry said as he walked up the stairs with Sirius trailing behind him.

"Huh?" Sirius asked distractedly, for he had been caught up staring at Harry's behind.

"Would you mind if I took a shower tonight?"

"Nonsense," Sirius mumbled, still a bit preoccupied. "You look fine."

Harry blushed slightly and replied, "But I still have... ugh... dried blood everywhere."

"Ok. I'll get you some towels while you get ready," Sirius said as they reached the upper landing.

"Thanks," Harry called over his shoulder as he turned down the hallway the bathroom was in.

Harry took his shirt off gingerly out of fear of disturbing a bruise or broken bone. He slid out of his pants and waited a moment for Sirius to return with a towel.

"Here you go," Sirius said as he handed Harry a towel.

"Thanks," Harry said.

Sirius rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Harry alone to undress completely and get in the shower. Breathing slightly raggedly, Sirius collapsed on the bed and thought about what he'd just seen. Harry, with flawless skin, had a small trail of hair that led from under his bellybutton to under the pair of boxers that hung oh-so-low on his hips. At the mere thought of touching what was under those boxers suddenly made Sirius' pants tighter.

He slid a hand over his erection, thinking about Harry's body and all sorts of dirty deeds he'd love to engage Harry in.

With a moan, Sirius lost the battle with his body.

"Damn," he cursed, getting up to clean the mess he'd made.

The shower stopped, and after a few seconds, Harry stepped into the room. This time he was fully dressed, but he still had that unruly but cute untamable hair sticking up in all directions.

"I'm tired. We did a lot today," Harry said, smiling. "Do you mind staying here for the night?"

Not one to say no to an offer like that, Sirius said yes, wondering how he'd ever get through the night.

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