Godsend

It was well into the night, maybe four in the morning, when Sirius' eyes finally closed.

The room was filled with sounds of two men breathing. One was breathing slowly and deeply, and the other was drawing short, irregular gasps.

Sirius was startled awake by a yell. He stood up quickly and crossed the distance between his chair and the bed Harry lay upon in two strides.

He was thrashing around wildly; the sheets were tangled all around his body, and Sirius saw with apprehension that a sheen of sweat covered Harry's body. Faintly, he could hear Harry murmuring something.

"No... not - leave me alone..."

He must be having a nightmare, Sirius thought. He placed his hand on Harry's forehead and pulled it back instantly. Harry's forehead was on fire.

Harry started thrashing again, more violent this time. His right hand came into hard contact with the headboard of Sirius' bed, and he quickly tried to pin Harry's arms to his sides, not wanting him to injure himself further.

"Harry, wake up!" he yelled. Harry moaned in pain and threw his head side to side, mouth opening to yell something.

Sirius tried to shake Harry awake. "Harry! Harry! You have to wake up now!"

He didn't fail to notice that Harry's arms were burning hot as well. Finally, with a yell, Harry's eyes snapped open.

"Harry! Are you alright? What happened?"

Harry looked around the room, his eyes finally coming to rest on Sirius'.

"Get away from me! Don't touch me! Leave - "Harry yelled as be tried to break free of Sirius' grip.

"No, Harry! It's me, it's Sirius," he pleaded, trying to make Harry recognize him.

Harry suddenly stopped moving. Slowly, he remembered that it was Sirius who saved him. His house, his bed, his gentle hands... Without warning, he collapsed against Sirius' chest and started crying. Sirius pulled Harry onto his lap and put his arms around him, whispering comforting words.

"Oh, Harry... it's ok, it's ok. You're safe here," Sirius said softly as he rubbed Harry's back. He could feel the salty wetness of Harry's tears on his neck, but he didn't mind.

After Harry's sobs subsided, he slowly pulled away from Sirius, looking absolutely humiliated.

"I - I'm sorry," Harry said quietly, avoiding Sirius' warm gaze. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble, for - for doing what I just did, and -"

"Enough, Harry. You're not causing me any trouble. Besides, if I were in your position, I'd accept any help offered," Sirius stated as he wiped Harry's remaining tears away.

Harry smiled weakly and leaned in to rest on Sirius' chest again.

"I just don't want to..." Harry sighed and added, "I don't know."

Sirius now became aware that Harry was straddling his lap, half naked, in the middle of the night. He cursed himself for thinking of Harry like that at a time like this. Is there something the matter with me? Sirius thought. Should I be feeling this right now? Harry's hurt, and all I can think about his snogging him.

"Er - Harry, do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep?"

"Probably not."

Harry slid off Sirius and put his head on the pillow.

"Um... can you stay here? You know, just in case I start to freak out again," Harry said sheepishly.

Sirius smiled and said, "No problem."

He thanked the gods that Harry slid off him at that moment because he would have surely noticed his breathing quicken.

"Were you having a bad dream? You were thrashing around for a couple of minutes before I could wake you up," Sirius said worriedly.

Harry's eyes darkened. "Yeah, I was having a bad dream. I can't remember much, though. Look," he said, looking up at Sirius with wide eyes. "I'm not usually such an emotional wreck, but it's just that everything that's happened to me, my whole life... my mum and dad are gone, I live with horrible muggles, my uncle practically kicked me out of the house this morning, I got drugged and beaten up, and then -" Harry's throat tightened.

Before he could stop himself, Sirius leaned over Harry and placed a gentle kiss to his forehead. He sensed to reaction from Harry, so he kissed the forehead once more, and then moved down to Harry's cheek. Just as his lips were going to touch the soft skin, Sirius looked up and saw the fear in Harry's eyes. He sat back instantly and mentally Crucio'd himself.

"Harry, I'm so sorry - I don't know what came over me - it won't happen again - please don't -"

"It doesn't matter, Sirius. I'm just - I'm still so scared," Harry said quietly.

Sirius felt relief wash over him fast. Thank Merlin Harry still trusted him. Sirius swore to himself that no matter how aroused he got, he would never try and force Harry.

He nodded. Sirius' heart melted when he saw the smile that lit up Harry's face.

"Will you stay in the bed with me? Just for tonight?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Of course I will," Sirius said. He climbed up next to him and once again remembered that Harry was burning up.

"Harry, you still have a high fever," he said in confusion. "In fact, it's gotten higher since you woke up," he added.

"D'you think it could have anything to do with my stomach?" Harry asked, slightly worried now.

"Probably," Sirius replied, reaching up to feel Harry's forehead once more. "When it happened to me, I was like that for days, but the potion that James got for me made it better. I'm going to make it for you tomorrow, ok?"

"Mhmm," came the muffled reply. Harry had buried his face in Sirius' shirt and was nodding off to sleep already.

Sirius sighed and pulled the covers up over them both and went to sleep as well.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Sirius! Sirius, wake up!"

Harry was shaking the man who was currently sleeping like the dead.

"SIRIUS!"

Sirius woke up with a mumble and sat up quickly once he realized it was Harry calling his name.

"Harry, what is it? Are you hurt?"

Harry smiled.

"No, Sirius. Er - where's the bathroom?"

Sirius gave a sigh of relief and chuckled.

"You're amazing, you know that? You're sharing a bed with someone you met a week ago, and you're acting completely normal about it."

Harry shrugged and said, "I don't have much memories of people wanting to take care of me, so I'm glad the opportunity came up."

"The bathroom's down the hallway. Last door on the left," he said. "Do you want me to show you?"

He shook his head. "I'll manage."

Harry slid off the bed and stood still for a moment, overwhelmed by the dizziness that had started.

"You ok?"

He heard Sirius' voice next to his ear. Harry cleared his throat and said, "Yeah. Be right back."

Harry felt Sirius' eyes on him as he made his way slowly to the door. As soon as he was out of his sight, Harry grabbed the wall for support. He looked up and saw multiple doors swimming across his vision.

He walked slowly because his head had started pounding. His stomach was acting up as well.

Suddenly, Harry stopped and clutched his abdomen. He put his back against the wall and slid down, moaning in pain.

"Sirius..." he called out weakly.

He heard hurried footsteps coming toward him, accompanied by Sirius' voice.

"Harry! What happened?" Sirius knelt down to Harry and tilted Harry's head up to meet his eyes.

"Dunno... stomach hurts so much," Harry groaned.

Sirius tried to lift Harry into his arms to take him back to the bedroom, but Harry yelled in pain and gasped, "No, no, no, don't do that. I can't move."

Tears of anguish went down Harry's fair cheeks, and it broke Sirius' heart to see him like this.

Ha sat next to Harry and watched anxiously as his pain went away.

Harry took a deep breath and shakily lifted himself onto his legs. Sirius grabbed Harry's right upper arm, making sure he remained standing.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Bathroom," Harry said.

Sirius led Harry down the hallway, putting his arm around his waist as an extra precaution.

Harry pushed open the door and walked over to the porcelain sink. He surveyed himself in the mirror for a moment, and then turned on the cold water.

He cupped some water into his hands and rinsed out his mouth, which tasted awful.

After doing that, he turned to the toilet, and then to Sirius.

"Er -"

"Say no more, say no more," Sirius chuckled as he stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Harry pulled down his pants and boxers and was met with a dire sight.

All along his inner thighs were big purple bruises accompanied with lots of dried blood and semen.

Gingerly, Harry brought his hand down to touch his left cheek and winced instantly.

He finished up, washed his hands, and opened the bathroom door.

Sirius was waiting outside.

"Come on, I'm going to put you back into bed before the pain -"

"Er - Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"Umm... can you..."

Harry didn't know what words to use in order to ask Sirius to check his backside. After all, it still hurt.

Harry leaned over and whispered the request. Sirius' eyes widened.

"Oh! Yes, I can't believe I didn't check that sooner. I'm sorry," Sirius exclaimed. "Do you want to do it now?"

Harry's cheeks turned bright red, but he nodded anyways.

They made their way back to the bedroom where Sirius instructed Harry to take off his pants and lie down on his stomach.

Harry did as he was told, but very apprehensively as he knew the examination would hurt.

Sirius took out a wet washcloth and sat down on the bed.

"Ok, now, this will hurt a little, but it'll be over soon enough, alright?" he whispered to Harry.

Harry just closed his eyes and nodded.

Gently, Sirius spread Harry's thighs apart and took a shuddering breath at the sight. The inner thing area was covered in dried blood - lots of it. Sirius ran the wet washcloth as gently as he could over Harry's cheeks, though he saw that Harry was gripping the bed sheets so hard his knuckles were white.

As Sirius slowly wiped the washcloth between the two globes, Harry put his face into the pillow so Sirius couldn't hear the pained breathing coming out of his mouth.

"I'm almost done," he whispered assuringly. Harry didn't respond.

When it was as clean as it could be, Sirius stood back up and threw the washcloth away.

"I'll be back in a minute. I'm going to get a cream that will prevent it from getting infected," he said.

"Ok. But hurry up. Please?" Harry asked.

"I will," Sirius said.

A minute barely passed before Sirius rushed back in the room carrying a small container in his hand.

He applied the cream quickly, taking care not to hurt Harry in the process.

"Finished," he said as he closed the container and laid it on the table.

"Good," Harry replied, pulling his pants up again. As he sat up against the headboard of the bed, Harry's ribs started aching again.

"My ribs still hurt," Harry said wearily as he rubbed them.

Sirius nodded.

"You're lucky they didn't crack all the way. It would've been quite messy to clean up," Sirius said sympathetically.

He didn't answer. Sirius looked at Harry for a while, imagining why anyone would want to hurt him.

As if reading his thoughts, Harry asked, "Why did they choose me? Why'd they do it to me?"

Sirius rubbed Harry's thigh understandingly. He had wondered that himself when it happened to him.

"I don't know, Harry," he sighed and then added, "Everything seems to happen to you, doesn't it?"

Harry smiled and said, "Yes. A lot of the time I wish I was somebody else."

Sirius looked at the clock that was above the bed. It was noon already.

"Do you think you'll be able to eat something? I bet you're starving," he said.

"I am really hungry..." Harry replied.

"I'll go get you some food," Sirius said while making his way to the door.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sirius placed a silver food tray on the wooden counter in his kitchen. He poured a gobletful of pumpkin juice into a cup and set it in the tray, then went to the pantry to get some bread and butter.

As he placed various foods on the tray, his mind wandered over to the large bookcase in his living room. The ingredients for the potion Harry needed were surely in there, he thought.

Sirius walked to the ancient bookcase and started looking for potion books. He ran his finger over the dusty spines, muttering under his breath. Finally, he found the book he was looking for. He pulled Magical Potion Properties from the shelf and leafed through it, hoping to find a cure for Harry's suffering.

He paused at the top of page 167, where it showed a list of ingredients identical to the one James had stolen for him all those years ago. Sirius marked the page, closed the book, and went upstairs with Harry's food.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Guess what?"

Harry looked round at Sirius.

"What?"

"I've found the potion that'll stop the pain," Sirius said as he laid the food tray on Harry's lap. "I'll make it today, and it'll be ready by tomorrow."

"Really? That's great, Sirius," Harry said in a cheery tone.

Sirius furrowed his brow. Harry didn't look to happy for some reason.

He sat down next to him and asked, "What's the matter, Harry?"

Harry sighed.

"Nothing..."

'Harry, tell me."

Harry looked at Sirius and glumly said, "I'll have to leave here after I'm well, won't I? I mean, the only reason I'm here is because of what happened."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. He remembered Harry still didn't know the full story.

"You can stay here as long as you want, if Dumbledore lets you. He knew that you had run away from your uncle's house the other day, so he sent me to keep you out of trouble. I'd never dream of sending you back out in this place all alone."

Harry's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Of course. You -"

Sirius was cut off by Harry hugging him tightly and smiling a mile-wide smile.

Merlin, he's so cute, Sirius thought as he hugged Harry back.

"Thank you," Harry whispered.

They remained in that position for a moment longer, enjoying the feel of one another. Reluctantly, Harry let go of Sirius and sat back in bed.

"Well, I have your food," Sirius said.

"Thanks. I'm starving," Harry said as he bit into the bread hungrily.

Harry was almost finished with the food when he got a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He put down the buttered bread and took a few deep breaths, trying to get rid of the unsettled feeling.

"What's wrong?"

Sirius was at Harry's side in an instant. He felt Harry's forehead, which was burning up again.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Harry groaned, getting out of bed.

Truth be told, Harry also felt like a sharp dagger was stuck in his side for some reason. He started coughing violently, feeling the bile rise up in his throat.

"Lie down, lie down. It'll pass," Sirius instructed worriedly.

Harry suddenly gave a particularly immense cough and vomited on the floor. He coughed some more, then gave another heave and threw up more. Sirius rubbed his back sympathetically, trying to calm Harry down.

After a minute or two, Harry still hadn't stopped coughing. After all the food was emptied out onto the floor, Harry coughed up some blood. He raised his hand up to his mouth and drew back, looking at the red liquid all over his fingers. He looked into Sirius' eyes, terrified.

Sirius knew he was right about the internal bleeding. If Harry had been with Sirius for a couple of days, then it would have surely spread through some of his system. There was even a chance of him becoming severely infected.

Sirius looked at those beautiful green eyes again.

"Harry, you -" Sirius' throat tightened. "You might be dying."